I know this seems like an unlikely story, but it actually happened. In the interests of clarity, I have converted a foreign language to English. If I didn't most of you probably wouldn't be able to read half the story and I can assure you, I wouldn't be able to write it. My foreign language skills are abysmal.
This story was told to me by a friend of mine (I'll call him Mike) and I'm going to try to write it in the first person, as that's the way he told it to me.
I was on a hiking tour of Europe. You should go there sometime. It's a fascinating place, and it's all so old. While I was hiking through Greece I was told I should take the time to visit some of the Greek Islands in the Aegean Sea. They're picturesque places, some of them having been inhabited for thousands of years. Accordingly, I managed to bum some rides on some fishing boats and visited several of them.
It turned out that calling these places the Greek islands is a bit of a misnomer. Most are Greek, some are Turkish and, scattered here and there are these little places that don't acknowledge either Greece or Turkey as owning them. They consider themselves to be independent countries, and they tend to be so small that neither Greece nor Turkey really wants to waste time and resources bringing them into line. So these places have their own little governments and their own sets of laws.
Landing on one of these places, I was enthusiastically greeted by the local authorities. They were trying to encourage tourism, and had dreams of one of the big hotel chains building a resort on their island, bringing in mucho big bucks. Until that happened, they were doing everything in their power to make a good impression on any visitors. After all, one of them might be a hotel magnate doing some preliminary surveillance.
It also turned out that the island had a problem with inbreeding, and for that reason, they were anxious to get new blood onto the island. Accordingly, they had set up some new laws that were, shall we say, beneficial towards tourists.
I was handed a brochure that detailed these laws, written in Greek, of course, but with an English translations. (They had several sets, offering different languages, depending on the nationality of the tourist.)
I found a couple of these laws remarkable, but they were clearly spelt out, with fines for the locals if they didn't abide by them, and a reward system if they did. I didn't expect to want to try to enforce these laws on any of the locals, as I like to do things by mutual agreement rather than waving a big stick, but it was nice to know that in certain instances I could point to the brochure and say but....
I told the local cops, or whatever they were, that I was just here to explore the island, and they had no problems with that. I might point out that even though these islands were small, even a place ten miles by ten miles has one hundred square miles to explore. That's quite a bit of land when you're walking, and in this area, a lot of it was mountainous.
Anyway, I hit the trail, and a couple of days later I was wandering around in those mountains, thoroughly lost. That didn't really worry me. There were tracks, and as long as I followed one I'd eventually find someone and get directions back to the port.
Find someone, I did, and what a someone. Coming around a curve in the trail, I found it petered out into a bowl-like valley, and standing at the head of the trail was the shepherdess, keeping a watch on her flock.
Seeing they were a herd of goats, I guess I should say goatherd or goatherdess, but shepherdess sound rather more rustic and wholesome.
Also she wasn't actually keeping a watch on the herd. She was swearing at one poor goat that had got itself tangled in a thorny bush, and it was struggling while she was trying to free it.
How to describe my shepherdess. She was tallish, about five foot, ten. Slender, looked fit and seemed healthy. She was dressed in some sort of rough wool trousers, and wore a light sleeveless blouse.
Did I mention her breasts? No? Careless of me. They were lovely, at least a C cup, creamy white with this little pink rosebud tip. How could I tell this, you're wondering? I said she was wearing a blouse. She was, but she was also bending over trying to help that stupid goat, and I could see straight through the arm hole, which was gaping, to where one of her breasts was dangling in front of her. It's also possible I moved around a little to make sure I had the best view.
Anyway, I coughed to let her know I was there, and then politely offered her a hand. She jumped, because as far as she knew she was the only person around for a couple of miles. Longer if they're walking along those stupid tracks. She thanked me for my offer, and asked if I would care to strangle the damned goat for her. Failing that, could I hold him still by holding onto his head, so she could get him untangled.
I chose the second option, and with the goat held still she very quickly had it free and running for the rest of the herd with her boot swinging at its rump.
"Good morning," I said. "I'm Mike, and I'm lost. Which way to the port?"
"Good afternoon," she replied. "I'm Chara, and as you're standing on the only trail in or out of this valley, I'd say the port is that way."
I had to laugh at that. She had a point.
"Morning, afternoon" I said, tilting my hand slightly from side to side, "it doesn't really matter. It feels like lunch time. I have a few things in my pack. Would you care to have lunch with me?"
She looked me over for a second and then gave a little shrug, which made her breasts bounce in an intriguing manner.
"I rarely have company up here, so why not?" she said. "It'll make a change from talking to a goat."
So we sat and had some lunch and chatted for a while. I told her lies about myself and what I was doing and she told me about herself and what she was doing. After the meal we just sat around for a little longer. Finally, I broached a subject close to my heart.
"I'll be heading off soon, but before I go I would like to spend a little time making love to you," I told her, smiling.
"I'm sure you would," she responded, "but we're taught to be chaste, so it isn't going to happen."
I'd expected that answer, but I had the big guns ready.
"I can understand that," I said, "but what about the new tourist laws?"
Chara looked blank.
"What new tourist laws?" she asked.
"You haven't heard about them?" I asked her.
"No," she replied. "I've been up here for a couple of months now. I knew they were discussing ways and means of getting tourists to come here, but I haven't heard of any laws they might have passed."
"Not a problem," I told her. "I have a standard brochure that they hand out to tourists. It explains the new laws and any penalties or rewards that are applicable. It's also translated into English. I assume that you can read?"
"I can read," came the rather cold reply. "I went to school."
"I said I assumed that you could read," I pointed out. "Not couldn't. My assumption was based on the fact that you appear to be both articulate and educated."
"I'm sorry," Chara apologised, blushing. "It's just too many people seem to think because I'm a woman and work as a shepherdess, I can't read or write."
She read through the brochure, and she didn't seem too happy about what she was reading.
When she'd finished, she just sat there, glaring at me.
"This is infamous," she snapped.
"It is unusual," I conceded, "but if you consider it logically, it is quite a clever idea of solving two problems at once."
