"May I come over?" She spoke softly into the phone.
It took him a moment to realize who was calling; then another second or two to find the answer. It wasn't a simple question. He knew that. She should not be calling him. He knew this much too. He should say no; and he almost did. Then quietly she said, "Please, say yes." Hearing her voice made his breath catch in his throat. As wrong as it was, he wanted her to come.
"Ok." He agreed and let out a long, suffering sigh. She heard the hesitation in his reply.
"It's ok, it'll be ok." And she hung the phone up. He leaned back in his chair and waited for her.
She stood at his door for a moment before ringing the bell. She knew that once she crossed that threshold, life would be different. She would be different; maybe for better, maybe for worse. She did not know why she was here, other than a growing desire that would not dissipate. She was not an unhappy woman. She was polished and well put together, in the same way her life was. Why she was at his door, she did not know for certain. All she did know was that she could not shake this longing for him; this man intrigued her. He challenged her; mind, body and spirit. She rang the bell.
He opened the door and he looked her up and down, wordlessly gesturing her in. She smiled sweetly at him and he let out the breath he was holding in. When she breezed by him, her spicy perfume scented the air around him, and he slowly inhaled, inviting a part of her to penetrate his spirit. He felt his thighs tense as his desire grew.
"Hi." Was all he managed. She unbuttoned her coat and revealed a low cut, cleavage friendly white blouse and a black skirt that flirted just around the top of her black leather boots. She handed him her coat and he draped it over a wing back chair.
"It's good to see you." She stepped closer to him and held out her arms, inviting an embrace. With her heels they were matched in height, he noticed. He put his arms around her shoulders and held her briefly, unsure of the appropriate level of intimacy.
"Yes, it is good to see you too, although I wasn't expecting you to call. Sorry for the mess." He half expected her to glance around the room, but her eyes never left his. She smiled once again, easing his nervousness.
"Why are you here?" He asked, stepping around her and into his living room. She followed behind him and watched him sit down.
"Don't you know?" She replied with a flirtatious grin.
"Can't you just tell me?" He asked, his calmness surprising him.
"Do I need too?" She sat in the couch across from him and slowly crossed her legs, her skirt peaking up, revealing more of her thighs, a deliberate gesture he assumed. He looked up from her lovely legs and fixed his gaze on her pretty face.
"Do you think we could just dispel with the game playing for the moment and be straight with each other? Maybe you could just answer my question without responding with another question."
"Ok." She paused. "Do you have a cigarette?" She looked down at her hands in her lap, and he sensed her edginess.
"You don't smoke." He said reaching for the package.
"I do tonight." He smiled and looked up at her, his brown eyes locking with hers. He took one out of the pack, stood up and stepped towards her, handing it to her. She put it to her full lips and he flipped his lighter and offered her the flame. She inhaled deeply, and then slowly released the smoke. He had a strong urge to kiss her at that moment, but instead, stepped back to his chair.
"Well?" He urged her to speak. She didn't. She felt both apprehensive and exhilarated at the same time. She took another haul off the cigarette. He patiently waited for her to speak, observing her.
"Do you have any wine?" She asked, clearly stalling. He smirked at her.
"A little liquid courage?"
She nodded." Maybe."
He smiled softly at her and felt himself warming inside. She really was quite disarming.
"I think I only have Scotch." He stood up and went into the kitchen. She could hear the clinking of ice as he prepared the drinks. She took the moment to compose herself. He had this way of making her feel animated and energized, and that in turn ramped her up to a different level. He turned her on. She felt her panties dampen the minute she arrived. She knew it was dangerous to be here. Dangerous and licentious. Maybe that was the allure. He came back into the room and handed her a glass. She took it and swirled the scotch in the glass.
"Thank you," She smiled.
He nodded. "Now please, speak." He liked the nervous energy she emitted. He liked that he had that effect on her. He enjoyed having the upper hand.
"I have always found words so over-rated..." Her words dropped off as she swallowed her scotch, coughing a little as the liquid slowly burned down her throat. In moments she knew that warmth would reach her loins, intensifying her eagerness.
"You're stalling." He lit his own cigarette.
"I am not stalling, I am waiting." She whispered.
"Waiting for what?" He asked, looking her up and down. He resisted the urge to answer for her. He knew why she was here; he just needed to hear her say it.
"I am waiting for my courage to catch up to my desire." Her eyes searched his face. He said nothing, just waited for her to continue. "I am here because..."
"What?" He asked, crushing his cigarette out in the ashtray. He stood up and went to her, sitting beside her on the couch.
"I want you." She breathed the words. She lifted her eyes and met his gaze. He took the burned cigarette from her trembling hand and crushed it into the ashtray, a gesture she found endearing. She turned towards him, her skirt slipping higher up her thigh. He noticed she was wearing a pink garter that held up her black lace stockings. He swallowed hard.
"I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know how to not want...this. And it's so damn difficult for me because I am always so in control...but not this time. Not with you." She brushed her hair behind her ear and he sensed her vulnerability. This was not an easy choice for her. He knew that. This decision was not made on a whim. It had been well over a year since they had met, but the connection and their chemistry was evident from the start, it had just been denied, and for good reason.
She bit at her bottom lip and waited for him to speak.
"What does this mean then?" he began. "Are you looking for just sex, or is there more to it? I mean, what do you want from me?" She placed her hand gently on his thigh and the motion sent a yearning through him. He took a breath and tried to focus. She could feel his muscles tense under her touch and it thrilled her. He saw the sudden exhilaration in her gaze.
"I can't change my circumstances. I won't. Things are good for me, for my family, in my marriage. What I need is something more in my life that excites and challenges me; something that mine...that isn't about being a wife, or a mother. I want more than what a good girl is entitled to. I want to raise my temperature every now and then. I want to have a secret that is all my own." She slipped her hand further up his thigh, increasing the pressure. He felt his body respond.
"You want a fuck buddy." He said, deliberately using harsh words; to shake her nerve.
She nodded, unfazed. "Yes."
He placed his hand on hers, deliberately stopping the motion.