Part 1
This was not the boy that got straight A's. This was not the captain of the soccer team, nor the most popular, nor the most affluent. He was taller than average, though quite lean. He was handsome in his own way, but it took effort to be so blasé.
The boy's name was Shen Jie. He was a senior at Dawn International High School in Shanghai. That day he sat in the cafeteria with his two friends and watched one of the girls two tables down. Her back was to him, head and shoulders obscured by hair and blouse. His eyes lingered on the softly luxuriant hair. Black roots showing through the brown dye. He watched her small hands, delicate porcelain wrists, white forearms. Qi Lian was short, even for a Han girl. She had that unique combination of sexy and cute that guys found so endearing. And she was very popular. But it was her confidence that made her truly intoxicating, especially to an eighteen year old boy like Shen Jie.
Earlier in the day, he had slipped her a note after class. It was blunt. The kind of note a too-cool by miles boy would write to a girl he was interested in. "I like you, and I really want to be with you." It read in sloppy Chinese penmanship.
She had taken the note with only a brief smile. He hadn't seen her since.
A voice beside him brought his attention back to his immediate surroundings. "I bet he didn't even write it." The speaker was Wu Yating, his frequent friend, and intermittent rival. The two had become friends almost immediately after Yating came to Dawn earlier in the year. Yet, close proximity always amounted to the occasional locking of horns. So it went with these two. This time however, was safe. Yating wasn't interested in Qi Lian.
Another voice cut in. "I bet he wrote it. At least that much. He'd have to, just to shut you up, but he didn't give it to her. No way. Not possible." That was Gao Meng, the third of their little gang. His was the swing vote. Never the alpha male, but an alpha-maker.
"What did she say when you gave it to her?" Yating pressed.
Shen Jie shrugged. "Doesn't matter. She didn't read the note right then."
"I'm proud of you for going for it." Gao Meng.
A silence followed. The three boys ate. They discussed Mr. Bryce's western literature class. He had talked about meta fiction. Whatever that was. It had something to do with calling attention to the fact that a story was, in fact, a work of fiction.
Shen Jie wished that's how the world worked. If the world were a novel, then he could go back and undo what he had done earlier that day. He wouldn't have risen to his friends bait so easily, he wouldn't have given her the note without thinking things through first. He must have seemed a fool standing next to her, sweating, saying nothing, just holding out the piece of paper.
Or he might have rewritten the note. He could change it to say something more romantic. "I have had feelings for you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I don't expect you to feel the same way. Just believe that you a treasure in my heart."
Then again, if this were a story, and he was the writer, he could rewrite the whole scene anyway he wanted. He would write it so that she smiles and touches his hand. A light gesture, as playful as it is flirtatious. Then she would ask him to stay and talk. The rest of the class would file out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.
But that's not how it went down.
He was sitting at the table, lost in his introspective thoughts, when a hand touched his arm. It startled him. He turned and saw Qi Lian looking at him. Her dark eyes were wide, almost surprised, as if he were the one approaching her and not the other way around.
Standing next to the table, she picked at the sleeves of her blouse. "Hey," she said as casual as she could. Shen Jie's nerves hummed. He fixed his eyes on a spot just past her head. She continued, "Here." She held out a small slip of paper.
The pause seemed eternal. She looked at him, then at the note. He knew she could see him tremble slightly, but there was nothing to do about it. He reached up and took the note with a wane smile. He had taken the plunge, and all he could do now was ride the wave. That and pray.
At last her face relaxed into a soft smile (a good sign?) that lit her whole face, touching her eyes, making them seem curious and oddly savage at the same time. She patted his arm and left.
He held the slip of paper a long time. It had been artfully folded, his name written on the outside.
"Oh. My. God," Yating said. Each word enunciated. "You've got to show us." Shen Jie didn't dare open the note up in front of them. Not in the canteen. Delicate matters called for privacy. He got up. Yating stood and started to follow, but he brushed his friend off with a brief gesture. He would rather do this alone. If this was a rejection, he didn't want anyone around.
Moments later, when he was behind closed doors in an empty classroom, he dropped heavily behind a desk. He rubbed his eyes, and drew a deep breath, steadying frayed nerves. He looked down at the note laying on the table in front of him. Then he picked it up and read what she had to say.
"Meet me after school." That was all. Neat and precisely written Chinese characters. Controlled. He turned the paper over. Nothing else.
He felt his nerves unwind, his stomach un-clench, a smile relaxed his tense features. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but he took it as a good sign.
*
That afternoon, after school let out, he stood in an empty hall. The door in front of him was shut. Shen Jie drew a ragged breath. He raked his hand through shaggy hair. He picked at the cuffs of his button down shirt, ran his hand over his adolescent chin. Then he reached into his blazer's inside pocket and touched the corner of her note. Drawing another breath to steady his resolve, he pushed the door open leaving a sweaty palm print.
Qi Lian sat behind the desk in her classroom. She was grading papers. Otherwise the room was empty.
"Ms. Qi." Shen Jie stepped into the room. Polite. Deferential. The way a student should act towards a teacher. He didn't know what else would be appropriate at this juncture. When Qi Lian looked at him it was with eyes that blazed excitement. Shen Jie wondered for the first time, if she was as nervous about this encounter as he.
"Hi. Come in," she said.
Shutting the door, he took a seat in the first row.
"I'm glad you came," Qi Lian said, her tone was pensive. It seemed she wasn't sure what would be appropriate either. "I was touched by your note."
"Then you know how I feel," he said. It seemed she wanted him to take the lead on this, but he was still not willing to take the plunge. Not sure how. Qi Lian was sitting behind her desk. She looked every inch the teacher, in command of the situation, unapproachable.
At last she spoke. It was the question he knew was coming and dreaded at the same time. "I was under the impression you and Xiaomei were a couple." A pause. "Is that true?"
Shen Jie's first instinct was to lie. He went so far as to shake his head slightly in denial. Then he turned away from her penetrating eyes. "We were a couple," he admitted. "But it's over. Besides, you're so much better for me." He quickly added. "When I'm in your class I feel there's a connection between us. There's something there. I know it."
She must have sensed his discomfort, because she got up and came around the desk.
As she came, there was a playful sway to her walk. Then she took an adjacent seat. Suddenly her proximity was disarming. All that stood between them now was a desk corner. Shen Jie's hands were folded on the table. Proper. Qi Lian reached out and placed her hand on his.
"I felt something between us as well." It was a moment pregnant with possibility. A heady rush came over him. He was unsure what to do, how to proceed. He knew he wanted this, and at the same time, had no idea what she wanted to hear. As if sensing his discomfort, she gave him an opening. "What do I have that Xiaomei doesn't?"
He released a held breath. He was on sure ground now. This was something he had thought about even before writing the note. He knew how to respond. "Because you're a real woman," he said, looking her square in the eyes. "Not a child, like all the other girls here. And I want to be with a woman. I'm ready for a real relationship. I'm ready for more than a silly high school crush."
Qi Lian gave a satisfied smile. It seemed he passed the first test. But then she turned coy. She took her hand off his, and looked away as if slightly bored, as if she had heard all that before. "And what makes you think you can give me what I want?"
Shen Jie smiled. It was wolfish. He closed in. "I can never satisfy you. You are too amazing. All I ask for is a chance to prove myself. To try and be worthy." He leaned forward, inching closer to her. From this proximity, she smelled faintly of lavender. "One chance. That's all I ask."
She turned to face him once again. A smile tugged at the corners of her plump lips. "And what chance would that be?"
"A kiss." No hesitation. "That's all. A single kiss to prove there's chemistry."
