Meaningless, uninhibited, sex, on call.
It was the universal male fantasy and, suddenly, it was in my grasp. What's more, it was with a girl so unique and so gorgeous that a friend of mine had once said that he 'would drag his balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie'. He's a charmer.
But there was a fly in my KY Jelly and it was stopping me from revelling in the masculine pride I should have been feeling.
Firstly, Wednesday Adams (my colleague from the bar) and I hadn't actually had sex yet, just some pretty excellent fooling around.
Secondly, it turns out that when the sex is actually meaningless, it doesn't mean anything. So when you have been selected as a (the?) stunt-cock for that girl's OnlyFans account, but instead have been secretly falling in love with her, your dick and your heart will go to war with each other.
Which was the situation when I got to work the following night. Wednesday greeted me like a good friend, not a boyfriend, and I felt aggrieved because we seemed to be keeping our relationship a secret and also, might not actually be in a relationship, despite the fact that I had shot my load down her throat only the day before.
I spent the shift in agony.
"Hey Ken-Doll," She said as she sidled up to me later when we were alone in the closed-down kitchen. "Are you... okay?"
The way she asked said she knew I wasn't, but what was I meant to say 'I am a man that is too stupid to understand the very clearly described business relationship we are in, so I want to stay in a mood with you all the time, ruining things for both of us'?
No, I was being a spoilt little bitch about this. I put on my brave, big-boy face.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, with a grin. "Really tired tonight but, other than that, I'm good."
Wednesday looked relieved and changed her demeanour to match mine, perking up and scootching closer.
"I, uh, thought, um, you could come round tonight? We could do some more... you know...?"
Wednesday had been bold and brash enough to start this OnlyFans project, but she was not exactly what you would call a 'porn star'. So her slight nervousness about the whole thing was very understandable.
"Absolutely. Yes." I told her, with a reassuring arm round her shoulder.
Wednesday did a quick check to make sure that none of the other staff could see us then kissed me.
It was our first kiss.
I had fucked her face against my sofa cushions.
I had watched her drink my cum from a shot glass.
I had spanked her butt until it had glowed red.
But there, in the kitchen of the bar, more than a week since I had been recorded wanking off into her thong, we had our first kiss. All my troubles and concerns drifted away and I swept her up in my arms. She went similarly relaxed and let me hold her while our lips and tongues touched in perfect harmony.
When the kiss came to a natural end, we stayed together, me holding her close while she nuzzled her head into my shoulder.
"Come on." I said. "Let's get the bar closed down so we can get home."
"Urgh, fine." She grumped. She pressed her lips and nose against my neck, taking in a big breath of my sweaty, post-work musk before propelling herself back into work mode.
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Creatures of the night as we were, it was 3am when I parked at Wednesday's building and we hurried to her stairs. It was a cold, damp night and when we got inside there was a fair bit of awkwardness as we stripped off damp coats and settled ourselves into her living room.
I think we were both really nervous.
"Drink?" She offered.
"God, yes." I responded.
"Great, you know where the kitchen is."
Wednesday, set about making the flat illuminated and tidy, I went to her kitchen and opened a bottle of red wine. We had agreed at work that we would shoot some more content tonight, and, I think, had agreed that we would actually be having sex, something that we somehow still had not done despite all the kinky shit we had been up to.
"Shall we sit and have a drink first?" Wednesday asked me, once she had tidied up.
"Yes, that would be good." Rather than jump into things straight away, I figured 'what was the harm in waiting'?
What happened instead, was that we sat on the sofa and talked and talked and talked. It wasn't about anything in particular; Wednesdays school/university work, my plans for the future, both of our families etc. etc. etc. None of it was earthshaking information, but it was amazing to find out more about her and there was never a minute of silence.
It wasn't long before Wednesday put on a DVD of Dr Strangelove, which she claimed was her favourite film of all time. I had never seen it, and so we snuggled up together on the sofa to watch Peter Sellers do his thing.