Sedona has always been a special place for my wife and me. I had proposed here, we had honeymooned here. When we were finally accepting the reality that she just couldn't conceive a child, we came here to begin a new chapter in our life's story. This is where she came to reenergize after her cancer treatments. Now here I am, alone, having scattered her ashes at one of her favorite overlooks.
When you're in your twenties and just setting out on life's adventure with your partner you're filled with hopes and dreams of growing old together. Now here I am, mid-fifties, I still feel young, yet I find myself without my partner of so many years.
I booked a week at our favorite resort, thinking that it would again be the site of closing one chapter and beginning another. By Tuesday afternoon I had done what I had set out to do and I was sitting on my patio, writing, trying not to get too maudlin, not succeeding.
*****
My concentration was broken by the sound of four young women, mid-twenties, walking past, laughing and talking loudly, enjoying their youth. They appeared to be headed to the pool. As so often is the case, the louder girls weren't worth my attention, but they drew my attention to the quieter girl, who otherwise probably could have walked right past my patio without disturbing me.
She was slimmer and appeared more athletic than her friends. The other girls wore bikinis which were unflattering on their more generous curves, making them appear chubbier than they would in more body-appropriate outfits. So many curvy girls seem to think that they can capitalize on their larger breasts by showing off as much flesh as they can. This girl wore a more modest bikini which flattered her smaller chest and more muscular legs and backside.
She caught me checking her out, and smiled in response as she passed.
I resumed my writing, though now I kept thinking that maybe I should go to the pool. Yet I struggled on, proofreading what I had already written rather than writing fresh paragraphs.
Some time later, the sound of the girls returning from the pool reached my ear and I watched the corner of the path and awaited their reappearance. The girl who had caught my eye was again trailing behind her friends; she smiled again when we made eye-contact.
She had a towel wrapped around her waist, but her bikini top was uncovered and I began to imagine what her breasts must have looked like bare. Would her flesh be bumpy from the cold water? Would her nipples be erect? Does she have tan lines? My eyes may have over-stayed their welcome, gazing at her youthful body as she approached. I could only hope that my tongue wasn't actually hanging out of my mouth.
The girls entered a unit a few doors down from mine and I didn't see or hear them again until just before dusk.
My evening routine had become sitting on the patio, sipping a beer, as the setting sun cast its warm glow over the timeless red rocks of the valley. It was usually a quiet time of day. Most people who visit this magical place come to commune with nature and replenish their spirit. Mule deer and javelinas often sought food in the resort's meadow as dusk deepened into night.
That was not to be on this particular Tuesday. The stillness of the day's end was shattered by a whoop coming from the direction of the girls' unit. Soon, they appeared. All wearing short, tight-fitting dresses, ready for a night out partying.
The reason for their boisterous behavior became apparent when I saw that the girl who had caught my interest wore a cheap plastic tiara and a sash reading 'Bride To Be' over her Little Black Dress. Tacky decorations aside, she was clearly the best looking one of the bunch. I saluted her with my beer as she passed. Her shy smile thrilled me once again.
I went to bed that evening thinking of her and what pleasure I might have exploring her body, as some lucky, young man was about to begin a lifetime doing.
*****
Wednesday morning dawned. Another glorious day in Red Rock Country. I headed to the resort gym and began my usual half-assed workout. I had never been athletic, and "working out" had never made much sense to me. I prefer to get my exercise out in nature, walking among the trees and mountains, breathing fresh air. But I had promised to "make an effort", so there I was, plodding along on the treadmill while a caught up on the news of the day. Having a beautiful vista out the picture window before me was almost enough to feel like I was actually out there hiking.
I heard the door open and close and glanced over. Wearing running shorts and a sports bra, she looked ready to go trail running and I nearly didn't recognize her, but her smile when she saw me let me know that she recognized me and was pleased to see me. I tried to straighten my back, and stride more than amble, but there was no way to hide that I had reached middle-age and I was easily twice her age.
"Oh, good morning," she greeted me cheerfully as she entered the gym and prepared to mount the elliptical torture device beside the treadmill I was struggling to remain upright on.
"Good morning, and congratulations," I replied.
"Thank you," she beamed back as she adjusted the devious device.
The fluidity with which she was soon striding along was like poetry, a goddess; I could imagine her lithe physique bounding from mountain top to mountain top, spreading peace and beauty wherever she went.
Her long, lean legs were a ballet of motion, her ponytail bounced gently to the tempo of her body's rhythmic rise and fall as the mischievous machine submitted to her mastery of it.
So caught in my reverie, watching her dim reflection in the window, imaging that I, a mere mortal, could race the wind beside her, my foot landed wrong, I stumbled, I barely caught myself from falling, a dislocated shoulder seemed likely.
"Oh!" she gasped as she deftly leapt off her elliptical steed and rushed to turn off the treadmill which seemed to be enjoying my predicament.
The treadmill halted reluctantly and I was finally able to sit down on it and catch my breath. "Thanks, you're an angel," I was eventually able to mutter as my heart rate slowed.
I then noticed that she had put her arm across my shoulders comfortingly. The closeness of her body, the pressure of her breast against my side, soon dispelled thoughts of my near-death experience.
"Did you sprain your ankle or wrench your shoulder?" she asked sweetly as she probed my aching shoulder. Her concern seemed genuine, professional even.
"I think both will be alright, though I'm sure I would be in worse shape if you hadn't acted so quickly," I replied as I tested my ankle. "Are you a medical student?"
"Nursing, just graduated, but thanks for not assuming," she responded.
"Well, I have a niece who's finishing up her residency." I tried to shrug, but the pain brought a grimace to my face.
"We may need to put some ice on that," she stated.
"I'm a man, I'll tough it out," I responded through gritted teeth as I worked the joint in a circle.
She rolled her eyes. "Of course you will," she conceded. "It would still be good to have someone look after you for at least the next day," she insisted. "Are you here with anyone?"
"No, I'm alone now," I admitted sadly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said kindly. She seemed to pick up on my body language and didn't press further. I couldn't help but feel that her natural empathy would serve her well in her chosen profession.