Sarah's Journey

036 My first free use counseling session.

Still sitting with my head in my hands my cell phone buzzed. I ignored it. 2 minutes later it buzzed again as it does when I don't look at the message. It buzzed 3-4 more times before I finally lifted my head up and reached for it. I still felt flushed and sweaty, I thought something was seriously wrong with me to have such a strong reaction, even if it was a massive cock.

Authors Note:

Yes I have had and am still in counseling to manage my infatuation with sex.

I picked up my phone. It was a text from James asking how I was doing. I replied that I was sore [good job guys] and it hurt to walk open doors, climb stairs, push in the clutch on my car, get out of a chair, sit down in a chair, just sitting hurt a little. James asked if he should apologize. I laughed out loud at this, and that hurt.

Me

"LOL no you definitely shouldn't apologize! You guys should feel proud!"

James

"Ok cool. I guess coming by tonight wouldn't be a good idea then?"

I stopped and thought about this for a moment. I was really sexually, well, frustrated and would be for quite some time, I could tell. Even thinking about Brandon's huge cock I got tingles and I swear it brought me half way to an orgasm. I took probably 5 minutes to respond to James.

Me

"Actually that might be the best idea."

James answered within seconds.

James

"AWESOME!! Should I call Mike?"

It was nice of him to think of his friend but I didn't want to get quite that athletic. I didn't think I'd need to.

Me

"No, lets just have you and me hang out tonight."

James

"Ok. What time? I'm headed home and I'll be there in about 30 minutes."

Me

"I'll see if I can leave now and it should take me about 45 minutes. Can you grab something for me on your way home?"

James

"Sure what do you need?"

Me

"Like 3 ice packs from a pharmacy."

James

"Seriously?"

Me

"Ya."

James

"Ok sure thing. Anything else?"

Me

"You guys really did a number on me this weekend. I probably want something else but don't know what it is right now."

I shut off my laptop, fuck it, the email will be there later. Packing up, I walked down to the NOC to see if Randy was all good, as it was 1500 and 2 hours before the usual go home time. Randy said he had everything under control and he'd call if he needed anything. I told him that if Brandon needed any help he'd call the NOC phone.

Randy

"Should I check on him?"

Me

"I don't think he'll need any help. I started him on the mind numbing paperwork."

Randy

Laughing, "Thank God I was dreading that!"

Me

"Oh I know. If you want to check on him that's fine, you'll need to knock though I don't think the phone in there will ring, and he probably won't see the screen on it." I was trying to make sure Brandon had some time or warning that Randy was coming in. I knew knocking on that door was hard to hear.

Randy

"Ok, cool. Drive safe boss." He said struggling not to glance at my breasts, which he failed to do. I just smiled at him and headed out.

The drive home was a lot better this time of day. My guts still hurt when I pushed the clutch in, but it was tolerable at least. I got home about 1545 just like I thought I would. I did my usual, laptop bag/lunch bag out of the trunk, went inside put everything down. But this time I stopped there, and went straight over to the kitchen counter and pulled out the bourbon, or what was left of it. Poured myself a fairly full glass of it, probably 5oz, and texted James.

Me

"Hey."

James

"Home?"

Me

"Yes, but I thought of what else I wanted. Can you go get another bottle of bourbon and something for you? I'll Venmo you some cash."

James

"Sure be right there."

I didn't ask him to stop by first, odd...

He was at the door a minute later. I opened the door unsure of why he came here first.

James

"Here I wanted to get these to you." He handed me the 3 ice packs wrapped in a towel. "I put them in the freezer as soon as I got home, it's only been about 20-25 minutes but I started getting them cold for you."

I was speechless as how thoughtful he was.

Me

"Wow, thank you! You're so awesome."

James

"Hey no problem. It's what friends do for each other right?"

Me

"Yeah." With that James leaned in groped my left tit and walked to his car. I laughed to my self, 'guys'?

I'd told him to just come in if I was expecting him, I was curious if he would. Putting the ice packs in the freezer I grabbed a cooling insert proactively. Putting that in, I headed out of the kitchen to get in the shower. As soon as I took a step the thing fell out. FUCK!! I left my panties on my office bathroom sink. All I could do was hope the cleaning crew didn't see them.

I grabbed a pair of bikini bottoms to hold the thing in me, got undressed and in the shower. I took a cool shower to help calm me down a bit, I was afraid I'd get too damn out there with how turned on I still was. I showered, washed my hair and just stood there in my bikini bottoms with the soothing coolness of the insert and the water running over my back as I leaned against the front wall of the shower.

About 20 minutes later I heard the alarm chime as the front door opened. I guess James did remember.

James

"Sarah, I'm here." He called from the living room.

Me

"OK." I called back.

Turning off the shower I got out to dry off. As I was James showed up at the door, as I just leave it open.

James

"WOW you always look just fucking fantastic!" As he looked at me drying my boobs, that just one of them took up almost an entire bath towel to cover completely holding it to the skin.

"Here I brought you these."

He was standing there with my glass of bourbon that I'd drank about half of, and another cooling insert.

Me

"You never cease to amaze me with your attentiveness."

James

"Well when I opened the freezer I noticed the ice packs I brought and that one of these was missing. So I figured..." He trailed off.

As I reached for the glass I hung the towel on one of my tits, taking the glass and having another huge gulp. Then I took the insert and James turned to leave.

James

"I'll give you some privacy."

Me

"What!? After the weekend? Hell I had Mike put these in me when I couldn't sit up."

James

"Good point." He said reappearing around the door frame with his glass of whatever he was drinking. I handed the insert back to him to hold.

Me

"I wanted to chat with you, if that's ok?" I said as I hiked one foot up on the toilet to help give me easier access to my pussy over my tits. These can be really annoying some times.

James

"Sure about what?" He asked a bit hesitantly.

As I was pulling down my bikini bottoms to get to my pussy to remove the now warm insert.

Me

"Well we all know that our arrangement is really open and flexible right?"

I pulled the insert out, having a bit of trouble looking over my tits to see what I was doing.

Handing it to James.

James

"That's right."

He handed me the other insert, and I held my hand up as I got another drink. Still standing there naked with my foot on the toilet providing James a perfect view of my pussy, I then reached over for the cold insert.

Me

"Well are you comfortable with me talking to you about the other guys I'm involved with and the like?"

As I slowly inserted the 7" of soothing coolness deep up inside me. James watching the whole time, and obviously getting hard.

James

"Like girl talk like stuff?"

I was getting the insert situated and pulled my fingers out of my pussy, then pulled up my now damp bikini bottoms to hold it in.

Me

"Ya basically. I really don't have any real girlfriends."

James

"I can handle that as we have a super open and casual arrangement. I just hope that the arrangement doesn't change."

Me

"Are you planning on moving?"

James

"Not that I can see."

Me

"Well ok then." I said smiling.

James was leaning in the door way. I grabbed my drink and walked toward the door to leave the bathroom. He was still processing the chat, so I shoved him with my tit.

Me

"Hey wake up."

He moved and followed me to the kitchen. I turned around and he ran into me, rather my tits like they were a bumper.

Me

"I forgot the other insert."

James

"I got it."

Me

"Wash it please. The cleaner is under the sink." Hoping he knew that he wasn't supposed to use soap.

James

"Ok."

A minute went by.

James

"Hey Sarah?"

Me

"Ya." From the kitchen.

James

"What's this for?" He asked as he walked around the corner with my 22" dildo I use to practice oral on.

Me

"Oh that; well; ummm..." I trailed off.

James just stood there with the look on his face of 'Well? I'm waiting."

Me

"Nosy much?" Trying to derail the question.

James

"The bag fell over when I got the cleaner out."

I could have just said it was none of his business, but figured what the hell. What was he going to do, judge me?

Me

"Well I use that;" he was still looking me wanting an answer in a curious way "I ummm; use that..."

A few seconds went by while I wondered what he was going to think of me.

Me

"I use that to practice oral sex on ok?!"

James paused for a second, with a bit of surprise and shock, blinked, smiled.

James

"Really?"

Me

"Yes."

James

"That's so fucking cool! Can you show me?"

I was stunned, he didn't judge me at all. He thought it was cool, and wanted to see. I'd never done that in front of anyone before. That thought was a turn on, like damn near everything else.

Me

"You really want to see?"

James

"Hell yes!" He said handing the toy to me.

Me

"Ok then." Smiling and hoping this was a turn on for him.

I took it from him, feeling much more comfortable about this now. I walked over to the sink to rinse it off, this also helped with lubrication because of the water. After a few seconds of rinsing and rubbing with my hand to ensure no dust was on it, I turned back to James that was leaning against the cabinet next to the stove opposite me and the side of the kitchen that backs up to the hallway. He was waiting with anticipation, and his bulge had grown a bit I noticed.

I laughed a bit nervously, put my face in my hand trying to not be embarrassed and shy about doing this in front of an audience. With that I raised my head up, took the huge toy in both hands, took a couple of deep breaths and concentrated on relaxing my throat muscles.

Putting the tip in my mouth and closing my lips around it I gently pushed it to the back of my throat. Keeping relaxed I carefully pushed it past my mouth and pharynx then into my esophagus. I felt the tip go in and my pharynx at the back of my throat snap down when the tip passed through and the shaft started. From there on it was pretty easy that was the part that took the most concentration, well that and the swallowing with it in my throat already.

I looked at James as he watched wide eyed. His mouth was open ever so slightly maybe in disbelief? I looked down at his crotch and it looked like his cock was stiffening. He reached down and adjusted his junk all the while keeping his stair on me and the still 17" of dildo that was hanging out of my mouth.

I looked back up at him and continued to push the 22" long toy down my throat. I went slowly hoping to tease him and it apparently worked. His facial expression changed with every inch that disappeared into my throat. As he got more and more surprised his face seemed to almost turn to shock. Once I got almost all of it in my throat James started to say something, and I held my hand up in a gesture to him to just be quiet for a couple of minutes.

I took the last 2-3" that were still outside my mouth and applied a notable amount of firm pressure to push open the cardiac sphincter at the entrance to my stomach. That sensation is strange because there are no nerve endings there but I can feel the pressure. I felt it pop into the very top of my stomach, then gently pushing the last couple of inches in my mouth past my lips I closed my mouth over the other end with it completely down my throat. I just stood there and smiled, for several seconds James just stared in disbelief. James' mouth was hanging open and his eyes were as big as dinner plates.

A few more seconds went by with him just frozen there. I smiled then bent over and took a bow like I'd just finished a play and was coming out for the applause after the production. James was still just frozen. As I still had all 22" of it all the way inside me and sticking about 2" into my stomach. I eventually held my hands up out to the sides gesturing "Well?" He finally blinked, closed his mouth and just said "Ummmmm, WOW!"

James

"How in the hell do you do that?"

I couldn't answer obviously. I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

James

"How can you fit all that inside you?"

I pointed to my tummy. I poked at my abdomen until I found the tip in my stomach, and could feel it as a hard spot. I took his hand and put his finger on my stomach where it was soft then on the tip of the toy. I thought he was going to freak the fuck out. He jerked his hand away.

James

"Holy fuck! Is it actually in your stomach?!"

I nodded a little as best I could with this thing going around the curve that leads to my esophagus. And gave a thumbs up. He went back to poking at my tummy and tracing the outline of of toy on my abdomen and poking all around it. I picked up a towel to grab the end of it as it's now slick with my saliva. I pressed his hand against my tummy right where the toy was then with the towel I grabbed the tip and slowly pulled up and out 3-4". James felt it leave my stomach and retreat back up into my esophagus. He again freaked out a little.

James

"Whoa, that's fucking freaky!"

I just smiled as best I could with a 1.5"-2" wide 22" long dildo down my throat and now with 3-4" sticking out of my mouth. I continued to pull it out of my mouth as James leaned back to his place against the opposing counter. He stared the whole time in apparent disbelief. With almost all of it out of my mouth I stopped and smoothly pushed it back down my throat all the way to my stomach, but didn't force it back into my stomach again. James' look of shock and disbelief got even more intense which I didn't think was possible. Holding on to about 2" of it with the towel I smoothly pulled it back out of my mouth, and slid it back down just to the entrance to my stomach.

I did this 4-5 more times before I could do it faster. I sped up as most as I could probably pushing it all the way down my esophagus and pulling it out again about once a second I'd guess. It was pretty fast actually, I'd never tried to do this that fast before. I was standing there rapidly throat fucking myself in my kitchen with James watching in shock. I could only do this for maybe 30 seconds before I started to get sore. The overly pronounced veins on the toy were starting to make my throat and pharynx sore.

I had never really done that before, for more than 3-4 strokes, and not that much of it where it filled my whole esophagus with each stroke. I guess it helped that James was there watching, as I really loved putting on the show for him, it was erotic to me and turned me on. It was then that I discovered that I might have a fetish for being watched while doing such things.

I pulled the last of it out of my throat. Then I turned around to wash off the thick slimy saliva type stuff that gets on it when I do stick it way down in my esophagus. When I finished I turned around to see James adjusting his junk again as he's obviously gotten completely hard.

Clearing my throat and getting a drink of water.

Me

"Whew that was intense I've never done that like that before. I surprised myself."

I turned back around and James was still obviously struggling with his hardon as he was wearing fairly tight pants.

Me

"If you're having that much trouble just take the damn thing out of your pants already. It's not like I haven't seen it, or had it stuck in me, besides you just watched and helped me change a cooling insert, I wasn't worried about that."

James

"So glad you're so fucking cool."

With that James undid the buttons of his jeans and pulled his half foot raging hardon out of them. He was so hard that I could see it jumping with his every heartbeat. I could tell that he was probably so hard that it hurt. He paused and took a deep breath like it was a massive relief. Then he did something that shocked me and massively turned me on. He buttoned the top 3 buttons of his jeans leaving the bottom 2 unbuttoned with his half foot of raging hard cock sticking out and curving up and back just a little because he was so hard.

As I stood there it was my turn to be in shock, as I watched his cock bounce with every heartbeat as it stuck out of his jeans with only the minimum amount of undress to allow it to stick out. There was something about him being totally clothed, shirt tucked in pants [mostly] buttoned with his cock sticking out. That memory is burned into my mind to this day and is in the top 5 things that turn me on when someone asks what my turn-ons are.

I don't know if it falls in the free use fetish I have, I think it might. But it definitely made my pussy wet to the point of dripping.

James

"Ok, that's much better!"

Me

"I don't know why, maybe it's the free use thing but fuck that's hot!"

James

"What is?" Seeming like he really didn't' know.

Me

"That!" Pointing at his cock being the only thing that was out of place from normal dress.

James

"Really?"

Me

"Fuck yes! That is so fucking hot to me it's unfucking real!"

James

"Well that's interesting."

Me

"Ya that's surprising I'd never thought of that being erotic."

James

"Well I'm glad we discovered that."

Me

"Why did you do that anyway?"

James

"I don't know reflex maybe because I'd never done it before, maybe because I wasn't going pee or standing at a toilet or urinal, which I'm used to leaving my pants unbuttoned for. I really have no idea I didn't even think about it, it just kind of happened without me even thinking." He said with a shrug.

I just stood there staring at this almost in awe of how erotic it is. I could feel my pussy getting wet again and starting to run down my inner thighs. Fucking hell that's what the 3rd or 4th time that's happened today? James noticed this and pointed it out.

Me

"Ya that's because of how fucking erotic you look right now!" Maybe having a cooling insert in me had something to do with it? I don't know. But fuck it's hot to me.

James

"Yeah, I can tell." As he pointed at my inner thighs that were almost streaming with my juices.

I grabbed a towel to mop up my practically dripping pussy.

James

"So is the free use thing, in effect now?"

Me

"I never actually thought about when it is and isn't. Lets assume it's just always on, as that's how it's supposed to work anyway. Unless one of us specifically says it's 'turned off'."

James

"God you're fucking amazing!"

He then grabbed me by the hand led me to the living room took off my top and shorts, that caused the insert to just fall out of me I was so wet. He laid me down on my back, on the living room table, I closed my eyes, and pushed my massive and heavy tits together in anticipation of what was going to happen next.

I wasn't worried about condoms as he'd already gotten a test and texted it to me. But as I laid there with my legs spread as wide open as I could get them, nothing happened. I could hear James moving. I opened my eyes, and sat up a little so I could see him over my tits that block my view when I lay down. He was unbuttoning his jeans.

Me

"Stop! Leave them like they were, that's so fucking hot!"