005 Change is good
As time went on my routine of seeing my cosmetic surgeon every 2 weeks became something I looked forward to like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. There were visits that not much saline was added because the tissue was still adapting to the persistent pressure exerted by the expanders. Then there were visits that he could add more, those were always my favorite. The discomfort became a nonissue after a while. I was so excited when I finally had enough volume that I actually needed a bigger bra, it was only a B cup that I needed but it was infinitely better than barely filling an A cup like I had my whole life.
With this came a huge surge of self confidence. I hadn't thought about that as a side effect, but having some sort of breasts that could at least be seen under standard work attire was a huge boost! I was worried about my co-workers noticing and commenting or thinking less of me. At least that's what would have happened back in Oregon. A lady in our town got implants and was all of a sudden a topic of conversation for all the women in town. Mostly hyper conservative religious types. What was really sad is that she was shunned by many of her social circle. All that just for implants, not even large ones at that, maybe a C cup. So this was what I was expecting in the back of my mind even though I had been in LA for a few years now.
I had noticed that many of the younger women at the datacenter seemed to have had their breasts done. And now that I thought about it no one said anything about it. If someone came in after time off for a cosmetic surgery, regardless of what it was, there was no buzz, no whispers in small groups, no snide remarks or anything. Thinking this through one afternoon with not much to do at work I really put myself at ease with the whole situation.
I noticed at work that people were noticing that I was starting to show more as time went on. I would catch an occasional guy sneaking a look, and it was always followed by a smile. Even some of the women did the same. Having never been the accepted kid my whole life it was great to not be worried about being judged.
After the dish soap on the vibrator incident I went back to the same adult toy store a couple of weeks later on the way back from my scheduled fill. The same girl was there and remembered me. As I walked in she commented on my breasts and asked if I'd gotten them done. I was a little taken aback by the question in such a matter of fact tone as it was asked. I said yes and that I had expanders because starting with almost nothing it would take time. She said she understood and asked what I needed. I was starting to trust that the attitudes here in LA were so different and accepting than what I grew up knowing, I was really starting to like LA more than I already did.
I mentioned to her about the dish soap incident and she grimaced and said "Oh no honey! There is cleaner for toys." She proceeded to take me to the display and explain about how to clean such toys. After that brief education on the subject I picked up a small bottle. Feeling comfortable with this girl I asked if she could answer a couple of questions about the dildos.
We walked back to the wall of dildos calmly having a friendly chat the whole time. I asked about the super long one, that is 22". She explained that those are usually for people to use anally. I had never thought about that and took a second to process. She went on to say that also the thinner ones were good if you were wanting to learn how to deep throat. This term took me by surprise a little as I hadn't heard it before. As she explained about what this was I listened almost in a trance. Imagining being able to have something down my throat without gagging. When she got to the part about some women actually being able to lay down, tilt their head back and let men throat fuck them just like they did their vaginas I instantly felt a wave of warm wetness in my panties again. I had no idea what was happening or why I had such strong reactions to even an educational session about erotic topics, that were covered in a very professional and almost clinical manner.
I was starting to really like this new taboo world I discovered. Sadly it was by myself and not with Brandon. But I told myself that I was happy exploring all this new sexuality even if it was by myself. And I was right.
I asked for her recommendation for the oral toys. While there are several to choose from if you intend to try to handle an extreme length don't even bother with smaller ones, because then you will end up with a pile of thin dildos as you get longer ones. Just buy the one you think you will want in the end and only have the 1 to store and clean.
Taking her advice I reached over and picked up the 22" one that felt like a host in my hands. I could get my hand around it comfortably and hoped that my throat would handle it. Besides they were all about the same width. The girl explaining all this to me looked at me and started to speak. Oh here it comes, the judgmental onslaught. She just simply said "Good choice, spend money once and be done with it."
Smiling I said "That's what I was thinking as well. But I can't imagine being able to manage even ¼ of this."
She very reassuringly told me, "If you like it you will get good at it and enjoy it. I have a friend that does and she has managed about half of this one."
Looking back at here in sheer amazement, "Are you kidding!? She can get 11" of this in her throat!?"
"Oh yes." she replied. "It took her a while to manage her gag reflex but after that you're home free, just have to get past that.
I was having images play out in my head about watching someone being able to perform a sword swallowing act with this hugely long toy. Again I became aware that my panties were almost soaked by now and almost started dripping down my thighs.
I purchased both of these items and headed back out to home.
On the drive my vibrator that had become part of my normal commute was still making the drive tolerable. As I parked my car and went in the apartment. I did my usual, changed clothes, properly washed my vibrator, emails, etc. I had tossed the bag with the new toy that became my Deep Throat training tool on the bed haphazardly when I initially came in. Walking back to the bedroom I instantly thought about where I was going to keep this so that Brandon didn't see it.
I was very concerned about his ego. He was not attentive at all but he never said anything negative about my flat chest and was always kind and reassuring when it crept up and bothered me. I definitely didn't want him to see this! Especially since he was about 4" hard and this would definitely be a huge blow to his ego if he thought I was using it vaginally because I was un happy with him.
Having never really seen another man naked, I never even watched porn, I never though much about his endowment and assumed that he was average. As this was so ridiculously huge I found a bag under the sink for it that would contain the thing if folded in half. Solving those problems I decided to see how this worked.
I stood in front of the mirror and opened my mouth, inserted the end of the dildo and gently pressed it against the back of my throat. I gagged instantly, my eyes watered, my nose ran, and I thought I was going to throw up. Taking a minute to regain my composure I tried again, this time not worrying about my gag reflex but just holding it in my mouth and pushing it back ever so slightly until I could just barely feel my gag reflex start to twitch. And this is how things went for a few weeks.
As time passed and I had 2 more saline fill appointments I was finally at a solid B cup. Brandon had started to notice around this time as most all of my tops would show my breasts underneath now. While still easy to hide I was overjoyed that they were also noticeable and garnered attention, even if it was from male co-workers. I never would date a co-worker but it was still nice to have the attention as that was something I almost never got at home.
The next day after work I went and bought a couple of new bras. I didn't spend money on expensive bras as my breasts were usually fairly taught and didn't really need the support, and I would need to replace them anyway. At least that was the plan. Having bought the bras I had a real feeling of confidence and self assuredness. I never thought that just having breasts would have such an effect on my self confidence and my mood over all.
That night Brandon actually came home at a reasonable time. He let me know he was on his was home and I made a quick dinner for him, then decided to change into something more provocative in the hopes of this being one of the few times we had sex this year. My hopes were high because he wasn't getting home at midnight.
