As soon as we entered the bar's smoky atmosphere, my nose inadvertently twitched with the nip of pussy in the air. The house band was overwhelmingly loud and for a Saturday night, it was rather deserted. As soon as we plopped ourselves down on the soft stools, we were awakened from our 2/3 drunk by something we had nary seen in over a year of spelunking the Beantown watering holes.
I'm loath to describe her as a bartender because it calls to mind a moderately overweight man in his mid-30's pushing the final legal drug. She hardly resembled the stereotypes that befall a booze slinger and although she celebrated the qualities prized by both the superficial man and the average big-city female bartender.
Sara was different, if ever there was someone to hang onto your drinking habit for, she was it. Surely it was her first week on the job (we have a running bet going to decide if it was indeed her first day overall) as she was as quiet and shy as a bartender gets that was able to enjoy her qualities; in all honestly, she was completely gorgeous, and I'm constantly ribbed on how picky I am.
Long dirty blonde locks-clearly carefully attended to--that fell almost 2/3 of the way down her back and boasting a body that is hard to put into words, she was roughly in the top halves of the 5's in height, with a tight black tube top tank that showed off the glazed tan on her shoulders and belly when we were granted with little peeks. No belly ring, which was a welcome surprise; such a tired premise anymore-original as a lower back tattoo (which she unfortunately had). Her formfitting pants were arguably tighter than her top-also black-and my buddies and I gambled as to whether she was sporting any underwear at all, top or bottom. There were watermelon balloons where her chest should be, so heavy that they hung down in the front, both spry and droopy at the same time if that makes any sense at all.
She was a doll; her grill was tiny in every aspect, little slit mouth, a button-nose, forehead-but her eyes were huge, doe-sized with buttery long lashes that were rich and full enough to sweep a museum floor but unknowing-suggesting sweet naivetΓ©. She was also very subtlety make-upped; just a nervous smile was all she wore but it was her headgear that set us all off -a straw cowboy hat that was simultaneously out of place and the perfect fit for the tiny bartending bitch-and it made our collective mouths and cocks water.
Her giant titties were bouncing and swaying all over the room but it seemed as though she was restricting them, almost as though she was a little self-conscience about their size. This led me to believe that those titty bags were real. Front heavy like a television, I felt bad for her tiny back-it must struggle to support those monsters!
We collectively ordered drink after drink, and I do mean drink after drink, until the mood warranted shot worthiness and we indulged willingly, doing exactly that at the expense of the friend that had passed out on the counter with his wallet on the bar top. One by one we were sent off into sleep or subway, and resolved with only my friend Mark and myself remaining.
We were both shy as a general rule, but after our third set of shots, it was she, not us, who opened up and quiveringly and inquisitively asked us, "So how was it? How was the shot?"
"It was good, there was a lot to it," I slurred, as the whiskey glass she was instructed to use by her mentor for the night was huge; it left little to the imagination and in her novice approach, filled it 2/3 with Southern Comfort unsure and terrified to shortchange what was possibly a repeat and well-paying customer.
The house band had disbanded, the surly and not-sober customers either filed out or were removed, and there were a precious few remaining at the Jake downtown. Mark and I made small talk but mostly eyes at Sara, who was learning how to clean up for the night. Her adviser, visibly agitated and anxious to go home himself, instructed us to do likewise, then left. I finally had built up enough nerve (or drunkenness) to ask her how she was getting home. Mark was in the bathroom making rid of his dinner at the time, and had no idea I was trying to seize the pants of the bartender we had two hours earlier described as not only unattainable but utterly out of any of our collective leagues.
Surprisingly she seemed entertained as I payed her attention, almost not used to the affection (are you kidding me!?) and it worked out beautifully because I was so drunk that I didn't care anymore, even though I assumed she was going to laugh right in my face. At this point the bar was vacant, and although Mark had returned he was so thoroughly out of it that any shenanigans that took place on his watch were sure to be forgotten. He urged to leave, but judging by Sara's smily responses-I refused to abruptly leave. I mean, it would have been much easier for her to ignore me than it was to pay me attention, right? So there was no way I was giving up yet.
I went to the bathroom and came back to find Mark face down on the bar, frustrated in sleep that I refused his requests to leave and Sara hitching stools up on top of the bar. "Need some help with that?" I offered in half a daze as she finished and I realized I was growing impatient as to if anything was to happen at all. But good, and sometimes very good things come to those who wait.
Her tummy was repeatedly visible as she replaced the last few countertops with barstools, but I couldn't stop staring at her butt! It was like a peach on a windowsill, almost taunting to be eaten and sucked dry and there was no way I was leaving this bar until I was 100% certain that nothing was going to happen. It was then, that something did.
With an empty bar and the register methodically filed, she made her way back to my seat from behind the wood and asked me what I was still doing there.
"I don't know, are you coming with me?" I asked as I stumbled, with half a smile and with what was no doubt a drunken sheen over my eyes.
"Where are you going?"
"Back to my apartment."
"I better not, I can get in big trouble for that. I'm new here, but we can chat here for a little, if you'd like."
"Sure, what did you want to ch---" and with that she wasted no more time-in her defense it was already 3:30 in the morning-she yanked her top up over her head to reveal that I had won the bet-no boulderholder. They were beautiful. I was so excited, $50 in my pocket the next day.
Her fun bags were mammoth in every sense of the word; perky thanks to her age but also a little saggy in the front because they were so ridiculously big. She was DD if she was a day, and all I could do was wonder as to whether they were real thanks to her petite frame, dammit.
Unfortunately it muddied my mind as she stripped in front of me, jerking each tit separately as to take her careful time, and I sat there, both mesmerized and loaded trying my best to sober up to enjoy this out-of-the-blue display by the outlandishly hot bartender that belonged at Centerfolds scooping up dollar bills with her pretty ass cheeks.
"I heard you guys betting tonight," she snapped coyly.
"Dammit," I thought, busted. But there was still the chance that the crude nature of our questions turned her on. Hey I was pretty drunk at this point, so anything was possible, I rationalized. I had already gotten the answer to the first question, but the answer to the second was imminent.
"No way she's wearing underwear, no fucking way," I believe were Mark's exact words. She plucked thumbs into the top of her pants-waist side-and slid them down over her smooth oily thighs to reveal a full body tan, the lovely telling view also providing me with the answer to question the third.
"So lets see," she recalled as she uncorked a nearby bottle of Jack, "Am I wearing a bra?" and with that she wiggled her chest and let her hooters flop side to side, "check." She then raised the bottle to her mouth and pressed the glass to her lower lip, but before chugging, "Number 2 I believe was, 'No way she's wearing panties, am I correct?"
Her next moves would answer questions 2 and 3 with only the balance of the nights events telling as to whether she was a card carrying number 4 or not. I nodded in disbelief as she put her bottle down and ran both hands up and down in little motions at the top of her bare thighs--where someone who actually wears underwear--would have them. It looked surprisingly easy too, considering her thighs looked like two fresh hot loaves of homemade bread with butter spread on top, slippery as ski slopes, "check." She tickled her thighs and picked up the bottle with a free hand while the other lingered. She started dragging it toward her center, "And oh yeah, I think it was you that made the last two bold predictions, if I remember correctly."
Stone cold busted. I was certain the gravy train stopped here and that she was just teasing the hell out of me to make me regret my piggish remarks. Her left hand was so deft at dancing around her mound that it clearly seemed to be the hand she uses to pleasure herself. She raised the glass to her mouth, "Hardwood floors, free heat, ready to move in, check" she smiled before taking a baby shot and shaking it around in her mouth. She swallowed and thought for a moment, "Ah yes, the final one, this was a doozy you naughty boy, I remember hearing 'swallow' and 'coat tits'," but that was all I could hear.
"I think you can pretty much connect the dots from there," I told her and after winking at me, she took another long swill of the bottle and sucked the glass into her mouth her head back so far her straw cowboy hat almost fell off. She took it in deep until she stumbled at her footing and gagged. She whipped it out and licked the opening of the bottle and held the whiskey in her mouth before sloshing it around side-to-side, tatties following suite, coating her mouth then drinking it down. She swiped the drops that fell from her mouth and out onto her tits and wiped them on her tongue. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.