Santa's Sleigh Has Eighteen Wheels

I really am a truck driver. But for fun I write some fun stories. Try not to be so mean on the holidays. It's just a bit of fun. Lighten up. I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas.

*****

Santa's Sleigh Has Eighteen Wheels, part 1

George Santos stared at the pictures of his naked wife in the arms of another man. The private detective did an excellent job of documentation. He paid the man what he asked for. Tears were in his eyes as he counted twenties.

"I'm very sorry George. I know some people George, just say the word and..." The P.I. was really feeling bad for his client.

"No, I know what precipitated her behavior, and I'm very sure it wasn't him. I'm willing to bet he doesn't even know she's married. As for her, I'll just divorce her. This isn't the first time, but it will be the LAST."

"George, you're a good guy, I hate to see nice people fucked over. Is there anything else I can do? You want to go to a tity bar or something?"

"Nah, thanks anyway! I've got to check on my truck, I'm getting it serviced here. I don't have anywhere to sleep!"

"You're welcome to crash at my apartment. I'm on another case. A lot of my job is at night. You know how it is."

"Thanks Robert, but I'm going over to Gary, I'll try my luck at the tables tonight. What the he'll do they say? 'Unlucky at love...' "

"It doesn't mean you're going to clean up at the casino, George. But here, take a twenty and throw it on the craps table for me! If you win on it, we split, ok?"

"You trust me with a twenty?"

"George, you are the most trustworthy man I know. I'd trust you with my sister. Of course she's kinda ugly, but you get the idea!" Rob said.

"Thank you Robert, safe travels," said George.

"Right back at ya buddy! If I don't see ya, Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you, Robert!" They shook hands.

*******

George had to make a call to his travel agent. That's what he called his dispatcher. He put the call through.

"Hi Sandra, George here. I need a couple of days off."

"George, Sandra isn't here. I'm Pete, the new guy."

"Where's Sandra?"

"I don't know. I'm guessing she's on vacation."

"She didn't mention vacation."

"Well, she's not here. Is there something I can help you with George?" Pete asked.

"I'm calling to let you know I'll be taking a couple of days off."

"You can't. It's the blackout period before Christmas. We're in blackout until January second."

"Well, you better get some candles, I won't be working. How long are you doing this Pete?"

"I just started today."

"I've been driving about twenty-five years. Pulling for this company for about ten years. I'm not a company driver here. I own this truck. You can't force dispatch me. I don't give a fuck about your 'blackout' period. So I'll call on or about January second."

"We'll have to pull your plates."

"You want my plates? Oh sonny now you are annoying me. Fyi, I have my own authority. That means I own my plates. You and I will have to have a little chat when I get back."

"But you're under load!"

"No Pete, I'm not. Merry Christmas to you!" He hung up. He just didn't need to hear it.

*******

He called Sandra on her cell. It went straight to voicemail. That was strange. He would call later.

He girded his loins. He decided he had to make the call. He dreaded the confrontation. But, it had to be done.

"Hello"

"Hi Beatrice." He never called her Beatrice unless he was pissed off. This qualified.

"Are you okay? Is everything ok? Why are you calling?"

"I'm not OK. I'm upset. Everything is not ok at all. Are you at his place?"

"What do you mean? I'm at home."

"You sure you're not at 1425 North Court Street? Apartment 11?" She sucked in some air.

"Honey, I can explain-"

"Oh, please! Spare me the continuing lies. I've heard enough bullshit for a lifetime. I need to tell you a few things. We are finished. We are getting divorced. It's ok, Todd wants to marry you."

"But Hon-"

"Shut up and listen. There are a couple of men out front of the apartment. Two are movers. They have all of your possessions. All your clothes, jewelry, your mom and your sister helped me out. They obviously know what's yours and what's not. If you notice anything missing, you and your boyfriend can come over on Saturday. The policeman will be there. I'm sure we can get all your things squared away."

He continued, "There is a process server there as well. He has a packet of papers for you. If you agree to the terms, just sign it and return it to the lawyers office. If not, get yourself a lawyer and figure out your own proposal. The last man out there is an off duty police officer. He's there so there will be no problems. We don't need any violence. If you have any problems with the movers, just call me. They are only there to deliver. By the way, your mom has the photo albums. I've got a very interesting one of you here in my hands. Do you have anything you want to say to me? Next time we meet we will be divorced," he said with finality.

"George, I'm so sorry I cheated on you. I really do love you, you know. But when you were away all the time, I got lonely. Todd came along, he filled a void in me-"

"I'll bet he did."

"I'm very sorry. I hope someday you can forgive me." She was just now realising that they were done. She had dreaded this day.

"Bea, I suppose I share a little of the blame, I'm gone so much of the time. I'm glad I found out now, instead of when I bought the motor home for us. That saved me a bunch. I will miss you, I have not told the kids anything. Tell them whatever you like. But don't lie to them. THEY told me about your escapades. I was totally in the dark. Good bye Beatrice, good luck with your new beau... Merry Christmas."

"Merry...Christmas George!" She was sobbing now. Inside, so was he. He hung up.

*******

He got a call back from Sandra. "Hello?"

"Hi George" Sandra said in a very quiet voice.

"What is the matter Sandra?"

"I've been in a very bad accident George. Tony... Tony is gone George. He didn't make it. I'm not doing too good either. They had to do emergency surgery, I was bleeding internally. I almost lost my spleen. One lung is punctured. Kidney damage. I'm all fucked up. I'm not sure I want to live without Tony. He was my rock. I... I should have died with him." George could hear her weeping. He felt terrible for her.

"Hey, none of that survivors guilt shit. God PICKED you to survive! He wanted your husband. We can't know his devine plans. We have to stay strong for each other!" He was not religious, but he could hear the guilt in her voice.

"George, I have a very great favor to ask you." When she stopped crying.

"Anything. Name it."

"Don't be too quick to say that. You haven't heard what I'm going to ask you."

"Ok, give it to me straight."

"I need you and three of your friends to move four trailers loaded with toys from Chicago to New York City. Volunteers. This is a charity load. Nobody is getting any money on this deal. It's for poor kids. Would you still do it?"

"Manhattan?"

"No. One in Elizabeth, one in Brooklyn. One in Queens and the last one in the Bronx. Each has about 4200 toys. That's 12800 toys to be delivered... Now! Do you think you can do it?"

"Sandra, it's the twenty-first. NOW. That is a tall order. I can say I will get my trailer there. But find three other guys as stupid as me? Oh boy! Drive Chicago to New York for free. I must be stupid."

"There's nobody else as stupid as you George." He could hear her smile!

"I'll do my best" George said.

"That's all I could ask for. The organization is 'Toys For ALL Girls and Boys'. All they want to do is distribute the toys it took all year to accumulate. Please keep me informed. Oh, there's one more little thing. We're putting a girl in each truck."

"WHAT THE HELL?" He said.

"In order to promote the toy drive, we have to have live tv coverage of your little trip. There are four college women who know how to operate a video camera, and who are willing to ride with a bunch of horny truck drivers. They are braver than me. They will have a video camera on you pretty much all the time. You guys each get a Santa or an elf suit. Your discression when to use it. Think you can do it?" She was sorta challenging him.

"Are we allowed to play with-"

"Hell NO! These are very young college age girls. They might be virgins." She knew where his mind went.

"Not when we're done with them, they won't be!" George quipped. His mind went there first.

"I'm really sorry about your boy friend. Tony seemed like a good guy. I'm gonna pray for both of you. You get better. After all this toy story shit, I'm coming for YOU! Hugs and kisses to you.

*******

He was getting his truck back from service. His phone rang. It was Sandra.

"Hello"

"How is it going?" Sandra asked.

"I was just about to ask you the same question." George replied.

"The doctors are still concerned about internal bleeding. So I'm a prisoner here for a bit. But, they think I will make a good recovery!"

"That's wonderful news! How long is your sentence?"

"They estimated a week to ten days, tops. But that is subject to change, depending on me!"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"If I'm still bleeding heavy at that point, they might have to do exploratory surgery to figure out what is going on." Sandra didn't sound optimistic. "I'm gonna miss Tony's funeral!" She cried. "His entire family was in to see me. I think his brother wants to date me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Maybe because when he spoke to me he had a huge erection. He had a tent."

"Yeah, he's got the hots for you. So date him."

"George he's only eighteen years old. I'm thirty six. Why don't you marry me George? I know you love me, you've admitted it. You are free of the bitch finally. My poor wonderful boyfriend is in heaven now. We are both single at the same time! Come get me. Except I can't walk at the moment."

"Why?"

"Broke my leg. I didn't even know it was broken till today. Too many life threatening. But only the good die young... George please take care of these toy trucks for me, OK?"

"Done"

"On a lighter note, they added another trailer to your convoy. This one is going to Philly." She continued, "And they would like a girl driver. How about Boom-Boom?"

"She's in Maine, and I think she's resting. I heard she took on four guys in the Baltimore rail yard! Amazing. But I doubt she can help us now."

"BB is in Chicago."

"Would she volunteer? You know how she is about money."

"We can only ask. Actually only YOU can ask. She hates my guts."

"Why on Earth?" he said.

"Because I have YOU. I talk to you every day. She assumes that we are doing the nasty."

"But we never..."

"Dosen't matter. She THINKS we are. So she hates me. Go figure!" she said. "So please call her and beg and grovel, promise her your, ah...attention. Do whatever it takes. We're out of time!"

"Ok, groveling kneepads are on. Kiss ass lips are ready." He blew her a kiss over the phone.

"When you're done groveling for her, grovel for me!" He knew she was giggling inside.

*******

He arrived at the warehouse. The trailers were being loaded floor to ceiling and wall to wall. The weight would not be an issue, just the cube. There was an actual list of children, and what each was getting. It must have been a logistical nightmare to organize it all!

He was standing at the back of the trailers when a beautiful young woman came up and introduced herself to him.

"Hi, I'm Sheila Santiago, I'm a freelance journalist working for the newspaper, 'Chicago Loop News'. I also contribute to the consortium. Are you the head volunteer?"

"Yes, I suppose I am. I'm George Santos, that's my truck over there. I'm pulling one of these loads to New York. Are you riding with me, or one of the other drivers?"

"I guess I'll ride with you, if that is ok. I see that you are married. Will our driving together be an issue?"

"Oh, no. I just haven't got around to removing my ring yet. I'm in the divorce process right now. I expect to be a free man in about three to five months. It takes a while to secure a court date, and making sure all your ducks are in order is like herding cats. But sooner or later we will be finished, thank God." He ranted a little bit.

"I'm persuing a master's degree in journalism, with a minor in RTF, so I'll probably be behind the camera rather than in front of it. I'm going to put quite a bit on social media as well."

"Out of curiosity, what is RTF?"

"Radio, Television and Film. It fits in well with broadcast journalism. I might get a job over the summer with a local tv station, possibly doing the weather."

"That sounds great. You are certainly attractive enough for tv. You are beautiful. Where are the last two news girls?"

"I don't think they are coming. I got a call filled with excuses. I think they changed their minds when they saw the weather forecast. There is a big snow storm headed north between us and New York."

"We'll make it. Gotta have a little faith."

"Anything off limits as far as what you want to talk about, and what you don't?" She asked.

"I don't know where my limits are, or even WHAT they are. I'm not talking about my divorce on camera. If it comes up, just say I'm divorced. I mean I will be in a matter of months." George said.

"May I bring my things, and put them in the truck? I understand you travel pretty light."

"Well, this time of year, we have to carry emergency supplies, but yes, we don't have a lot of room. I understand you will be bringing a video camera as well? Its going to be tight."

Sheila looked inside the truck. "It really looks bigger from the outside. I'm not going to be able to bring everything! SHIT."

"Sheila, there is a side box. Just pull that knob there. You can also pull down the top bunk. We can stow your stuff I'm sure. Next time don't bring so much. It looks like you're going for two weeks instead of two days."

"I am staying two weeks. After we drop off the toys, I'm staying with a girlfriend at NYU until the sixth. I'll catch a flight home then." Sheila explained.

"Well come on, bring the video camera, you can meet the gang."

*******

They went around to the other trucks and met the drivers. The first was a tall black man.

"Hey Bill," He and George shook hands. "Bill this is Sheila, Sheila this is Bill Berg. Bill here has two million miles"

"Sheila, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. Two million miles?"

"Without an accident, thank God" he said, crossing himself.

"How many years are you driving?"

"Just eighteen."

"JUST?"

"Yeah, I'm the baby of the bunch. George there got what?"

"I'm coming up on twenty-five years," replied George.

"I think Ben has thirty years, and Thomas over in the KW has something like thirty-three years. He was driving from age sixteen! His dad let him drive one of the logging trucks. Things were different back then."

"How so?" Sheila wanted to know.

"There weren't as many rules. There were no computers, or cell phones, or GPS. You had good old Rand McNally maps, and a CB radio. Hell, the warehouses all had pay phones so truck drivers could call in to dispatch. You had to have quarters. People cared more too. That's all gone now."

"We gotta roll. You juiced up and ready to fly Bill?"

"Yup. Just waiting on paperwork, as usual. When we sign on the dotted line, I'll be ready to roll."

Sheila brought over a pretty brunette girl. She had a nice rack, George noticed. She smiled at George.

"George, Bill, this is Kami, Kami Courtland. Sheila said, "She'll be riding with Bill."

"I thought I was riding with George! You know I know him, right? Do you remember me Mr. Santos? I was roommates with your daughter at school last year at Penn State!" She was upset. She really wanted to ride with George. When she met him visiting his daughter, she just thought he was fantastic.

"Of course I remember you Kami. You were pretty then and prettier now! Why aren't you at school? Have you seen Cindy lately. She's currently not speaking with me."

"Well, no haven't seen her in a minute, I'm on a work study program for this semester, be back at school next term. So why can't I ride with you? No offense Mr. Berg."

"None taken."

Sheila said, "We are in a convoy, so we will be able to switch vehicles. I have a couple of interviews planned for George here, then we change trucks. So everyone should be able to ride with everyone. We can get better interviews I'm thinking. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I hate it when she's right. But I have such a crazy crush on George, and I heard he's a free man now! So I want him!" Kami shocked George. She had stars in her eyes for George.

"Hold on Kami, my divorce isn't final till April or May."

"Close enough. I want you George. How's that for honesty. Sometimes when you used to visit your daughter in school, I-"

"-Well look at the time! I think we gots to go! Kami, you and I will talk more in private, ok?" George had interrupted Kami before she jumped him then and there. He would speak to her later on. He felt guilty, like there was still a marriage, even though he knew it was finished. Plus, he was twenty years older than the beautiful girl. But hidden in his pants, his dick got hard thinking about the cute young thing.

The other two drivers came over, Ben Cross and Thomas Todd Jones. They just wanted to say hi.

They called Ben, 'Big Ben' and they called Thomas either 'TT Jones, or 'the Singer'... He could not carry a tune in a bucket. His pals called him 'Jonesey'.

"Well how you dooin there young lady, I'm Thomas Todd Jones, you can call me 'Jonesey'. Pleasure to meet you darlin'!" TT Jones just laid it on thick.

"Hi Jonesey. Why do they call you 'the Singer'?" Sheila asked.

"Well, cause of my namesake, Tom Jones. My mom still loves him to this day. So these clowns call me 'the Singer'. Go figure."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you sir."

*******

The paperwork was finished finally, so they got underway. Barbara Barbeaux was late, but she had a very fast Peterbuilt. She would catch up in no time. They weren't speeding, they just had 859 miles to go, that was nothing. A bit more than a days driving. They would take it easy and make it in two, to get there by the twenty-third. That was the plan. Man plans, God laughs.

*******

"I'm so sorry Mr. Santos. I had no idea that she knew you, or had such a crush on you. I apologize. We can...well I don't know what to do."

"Sheila, it's OK. I am a man, I can deal with a pretty young thing having a crush. I'll be gentle. It's actually good for my ego, since my ex stomped my heart in the dirt. She's been fucking some young guy for at least seven months, probably longer. For Christ sake, I have to have my children tested now to see if they are mine!" He had tears in his eyes.

"Why would she do that?"

"That is the $64,000 dollar question, isn't it. I'm partly, maybe even mostly to blame. I'm a trucker. I'm always on the road, so she got lonely. My question is how long, and how many? Does this cheating go all the way back to the beginning? I'm so sorry, I'm... I'm kinda fucked up at the moment." His eyes were watering.

"No, no. Its good to let it go, get it out of you, before it eats at your soul. I wouldn't have asked Sandra for you, if I had known."

"You asked for me? Specifically for me? Why?" He was curious.

"Because you served with Frances Santiago way back in the day. He says you saved his life. Frank Santiago is my dad."

"He saved my life you mean."

"You carried him four miles on your back."

"He shot a bad guy at point blank, had me dead to rights. I don't care what they say, your father was the hero that day."

"He said you single handedly held off a hundred guys by standing up and shooting a sixty. They could have shot you any time, and you held the bastards up for an hour."