Sandy Mar and Helen

The time passed, and on Thursday afternoon, I was off for the conference in Boston, giving Sandy and Helen three days just to be alone, the first time that that had happened since their junior year abroad in Spain. Then they were young college students, now they were settled married women. Time had passed and many things had changed and now they had three days to deepen the ties that bound them together then. It was ironic that one year previously I had gone to the same conference giving Sandy and Frank three days to deepen their relationship by spending the night together rather than screwing on the car seat or on a desk.

Helen arrived the day I left and things worked out beautifully. They talked incessantly, bringing each other up to date. One day Sandy took Helen to her office and introduced her "twin sister" to the faculty and staff. They went shopping, ate out – and talked...and talked...and talked! Of course, they did other, more interesting things, too, but even those things began with talking, first about Sandy's hint that she was as sinful as Helen, herself.

"Now, I've been eaten up by curiosity ever since I was here last week. I had a funny feeling about...well, committing adultery with Mack, and you hinted that you had done it, too. First, I find it hard to believe that you would do that, particularly with you're married to a man like Mack. I have a feeling that you said that just to keep me from worrying. Wait, before you say anything, I want to tell you that I have absolutely no regret about letting Mack feel my tits and no regrets about stripping down to just my panties and, then, to nothing. In fact, I enjoyed it very much. Unbelievably, I don't even have any problem with having his cock in my mouth despite always thinking that doing things like that was depraved, at best. Even more, as you know, I really enjoyed having him licking my pussy – although, I'm still a bit embarrassed when I think of it! I literally never dreamed that I would ever be in that position!

"But letting him screw me is still something much more significant. Anyway I look at it, it is adultery! And despite not being particularly religious I've always considered that to be a sin! Even worse, I loved every second of it – my best friend, my sister's husband, right in front of her, and I'll do it again! I have no real reason to feel guilty because of my husband, with the things he's done, but I do! I've always have considered myself to be above doing things like that – basically 'pure' – but apparently my 'virtue' was more the result of a phobia about aggressive males than any basic rectitude. The first time a really attractive man who tries me with respect and tenderness ends up fucking me...my god, that's the first time I've ever said that word...but it's just what happened...yes, fucking me! And I had the first real orgasm I've ever had in my life!

"So, that's my situation. I have no real regrets, even committing adultery. I love you, I love Mack and I loved having sex with him...and with you." She really blushed and looked away when she made that last comment and hurried past it to say, "Ok, now it's your turn! Tell me how, with a wonderful, loving husband like Mack, you 'strayed,' as the romance novels usually describe it!"

"Well, honey, I don't want to disillusion you, but I am no paragon of virtue. You and I were the same when we were in Spain – both 20 year old virgins with no real experience. Mack took care of my virginity not long after I got back to the U.S., but since we were married not too long afterwards, I guess I was still virtuous. I stayed that way until I was a PhD student in Spanish and Mack was a political science professor. About two years ago. The grad students were a close-knit group that had parties – very tame in which we sat around talking about courses, literature, grammar, etc. Mack usually drove me to the party and one of the fellows drove me, and others, home afterwards.

"One of the guys was Frank Jackson, an older, like me, PhD candidate. We were sitting on a crowded couch at an end of the semester, pre-Christmas, party with his arm on the back. As I moved closer because of the others needing seats, his arm fell over my shoulder and his hand landed on my breast. I was braless as I usually was in the evening. I sort of froze, not knowing just how to react, for no one had ever done like that before. Obviously I should have pulled away immediately, as you certainly would have done, but I didn't. I liked him, it was a new experience and it felt good!

"Anyway, when it was time to leave, he was ready to drive people home and, fortuitously, no one else was going then, so he drove me home alone. He kissed me good night, I responded and...well, I ended up being screwed on the front seat of his old Buick Roadmaster. Actually, I was seduced, but I loved it. Then, I had to come in and face the music and tell Mack what had happened. I described everything, including that I probably could have stopped him from taking me, but that I had been carried away. I admitted that I was a party to it and he hadn't forced me at all.

"To my very happy surprise, Mack never made a word of criticism nor blame. He was completely understanding and never said anything about forgiving me because he saw nothing to forgive. Honey, he couldn't have been more understanding and supportive. I assumed that it was a one-time thing, but Mack warned me that Frank might want more and told me to do what I wanted. The next party was before the next semester started and I didn't know what I wanted, but I guess I gave my feelings away by wearing my diaphragm. That time was clearly consensual and I began an affair that lasted for over a year and a half. Mack continued to support me and never had any jealousy or any doubt that it was just a fun affair – which it certainly was!"

"My god, Sandy, I don't believe it!"

"Do you think I'm awful?"

"No, but I couldn't possibly have done that because I would have panicked and probably have made a scene at that first party. You know how I reacted to any man making a pass at me. And, after the way I've succumbed to Mack so easily, I'm hardly in a position to criticize you for getting carried away like that. The hardest thing to believe is that Mack could be so generous and supportive. He's a saint!"

"That's funny! Frank and I were invited to share a beach house with three other couples although they didn't know that we were lovers at first. Frank and I openly slept together and when I quietly told the girls that Mack knew and loved me enough to look the other way, they called him a saint! That was a wonderful week near Virginia Beach. Then, at the end of the semester and Frank was leaving for a job, we spent three days together on the Cape."

"Wow, you really did have an experience. It certainly sounds like more than just a casual affair!"

"Much more. It was a love affair and Frank and I loved each other. In fact, the only problem, and Mack predicted this, was that Frank really was 'in love' with me and he said so when we were on the Cape. But he accepted the reality that he could never replace Mack in my affection."

"Do you still hear from him?"

"Oh my, yes! He's in Maine, but our affair really isn't over. I hope this doesn't shock you even more, but he was here last month and we got together. In addition, we expect to meet at the MLA Conference and other professional gatherings. It's fun for both of us. Now, maybe I'm just rationalizing, but I have absolutely no guilt because I can't see how anyone is being hurt – certainly not Mack! He's hardly a betrayed husband! That's what I mean, as I said last week; no one was hurt so I feel no guilt even if it was adultery! Damn, I'm probably saying too much, maybe more than you want to know, but Frank knows that Mack knows and vice-versa, but the few times they meet, they act as if neither knows. I've even slept with Frank down in the mother-in-law suite. It's no secret, but we act as if it were. It works because of Mack. Mack certainly is not a saint for if he were, he wouldn't have fucked ...yes, fucked...you last week! Still, when I list these things that I've done, it sounds pretty depraved. "

"This is weird and a bit embarrassing. If you had told me about your affair a month ago, I undoubtedly would have been shocked and, I'm sure, critical – at least in my mind. If you had told me two weeks ago that I would have had Mack's cock in my mouth, that I would be naked as he licked my pussy and that, afterwards, he would fuck me, two nights in a row, I would have said that you must be insane. And if any of that had occurred, I would expect to be devastated by guilt! Yet here I am with, at most, a sliver of guilt. It's embarrassing to find that my morals are so flexible! Rationalization or not, I think you are right when you think about who, if anybody, is being hurt. Mack certainly wasn't hurt and, obviously, you don't feel hurt by your husband screwing me. The only other person is Richard and, well, things balance out."

"Ok, you know my sins and I know yours. Now that the heavy stuff is over, why don't we go down and relax in the Jacuzzi?"

"Shall we wear suits?"

"After last week, I think that would be superfluous and not as much fun!"

The two of them went down, took off their robes and, completely nude, climbed into the Jacuzzi. They sat facing each other and, for fifteen minutes or so, talking of various inconsequential things. The conversation ended and, for a short time, they looked at each other over the water. Finally, rather hesitantly, Sandy shifted across and sat next to Helen. The hesitancy vanished as the two women embraced each other and kissed, the kiss becoming more passionate as it continued. Their hands roved over each other, cupping and fondling breasts. At last, Sandy pulled back and said, "We've been here long enough. Let's go upstairs where it's more comfortable."

A few minutes later they made their way upstairs into our bedroom, and, a very short time afterwards, they lay, nude, beside each other on the bed. She leaned up on her elbow and looked lovingly at Helen and lightly kissed her nipples before caressing her breasts. "It's funny. As I told you, there were many times in Spain that I felt a real urge to feel these, but it was just to see how firm they were. I never had any thought of sex in mind, just curiosity?"

"And I wouldn't have minded at all and I never would have had any negative thoughts about your intentions!"

"Damn, we were innocent! A week ago my only thought was getting Mack a chance to see and feel them. Now I want to see and feel them for myself!" Running her hand down Helen's torso, she lightly ran her fingers through the curly pubic hair to the clit, adding, "even more unbelievable, I want to play with this and make you feel good."

Helen put her arms around Sandy, saying, I don't believe it either – here I am opening my legs so you can touch me, and I want to do the same to you. Gods, have we become lesbians. I certainly love you now in a different way from how I loved you before!"

"No, we're not lesbians because we still want Mack to fuck us! One thing is sure, however, we are bisexual as far as each other is concerned." They proceeded to prove it!

As Sandy told me later, "We made love. We didn't just have sex, we made love. We kissed and fondled and stroked each other. We played with each other's clits and finger-fucked each other. We each gave the other a tremendous orgasm. We didn't go down on each other that first night, but we knew that we would later – and we did! It was just a wonderful, very satisfying first evening and we slept together in our bed all night!"

Unfortunately, the second evening didn't start out as well. Everything was fine until Sandy casually commented, "Mack and I put off having a baby until I got my degree. Well, I have the degree and we decided that the time has come. I went off the pill last month and we plan to try to get me pregnant in December or January. That way, I'll be able to teach the rest of the year without any problem and I've already arranged a leave for the first semester of next year!" Pausing, she added, laughing, "Now we'll have to work on getting me pregnant – tough 'work!'"

Helen said the right things, congratulating her on the plan, but Sandy could see that something about her response was not right, particularly since her words didn't match the expression on her face. Actually, for a moment her face appeared to almost crumble. Sandy immediately asked, "Is something wrong, honey? Something bothering you?"

"Oh, damn it, I didn't want to get into this, but I guess I need to talk about it with someone. But I didn't want to burden you with it. Richard and I are having a real problem. No actually, I have a problem. Just after we were married, we talked about starting a family, but he said, 'Let's wait a while. It would be better when we can settle down long term. You know that I have been thinking about resigning from the service, probably in a year or so, and getting a job with a civilian airline, so things would be more stable then.' That sounded reasonable, so we postponed trying. It's been a year now since he left the service and, now we've been here for almost six months and nothing's happened."

"Well, that's not what you want, but a year isn't that unusual. I suppose that you could see a doctor to make sure that you have no physical problems, but you need to relax and not worry."

That's not the problem – it's Richard! He acts as if he wants children, but I don't believe him anymore! We've never had much sex. Well, practically none. The truth is that, as you know, he first attracted me because he wasn't staring at my tits. Damn it, you know that I'm hypersensitive about that, probably overly sensitive, and see threats where they don't exist, but he was very nice and treated me like a regular woman – which I am! It was nice to just be with a man who was polite, friendly and a gentleman. It turns out, that part of my appeal to him was that I wasn't interested in a macho man who wanted sex all the time. It seemed that we were a perfect fit. Neither of us wanted what the other person didn't want. So, we were able to enjoy each other and we were both well satisfied.

"I didn't say anything about this before, but ours was a loving but sexless marriage. I met Richard when he and several other pilots were taking a short course created to widen their language fluently. His was Japanese, but we met at a social hour. As I told you, I was taken by his lack of interest in my tits. Actually, I had them concealed by a heavy shirt as I usually did, but, as I said, I'm hypersensitive. Anyway, we started talking and I liked him immediately. We started dating and it was very pleasant. I was very comfortable with him; we liked the same things and just were very compatible. We dated for almost a year and sex was never an issue – neither of us was interested. When he was posted to Okinawa, he asked me to marry him and I said yes immediately.

"We had a quick wedding by a chaplain and we were off to married life. Our first problem came on our wedding night when we prepared for the expected consummation and nothing worked. I was naked with a man for the first time, seeing my first cock and being seen myself. Unfortunately, the cock was only half-hard and couldn't get into to me very far. If my hymen had been intact, he couldn't have gotten in far enough to break it. I even used my fingers to try to help get it in, but it just wouldn't work. Surprisingly, neither of us was upset and we actually laughed as I tried to stuff it in.

"We tried several times after that with the same result. It would get hard on other occasions, certainly the early-morning erection that men get." Laughing, she went on, "We actually tried to get it in one morning just to see what would happen, but the pressure of his bladder was too much. Anyway – and this would shock most people, particularly men – none of this bothered us. Sex just wasn't important to us. The truth is, if consummation of a marriage requires the man to penetrate the woman and ejaculate inside of her, ours was never consummated! I know that this will sound ridiculous, but he never came inside of me!

"Still, as I said, this was a loving marriage. We loved being together, talking together, traveling together. Every leave we toured the island. One time we flew to Tokyo where he impressed me with his Japanese. Another time we went to Hong Kong. It was a fun time. We liked most of the same things and our social life in the military environment was fine and I had a nice circle of friends among the wives. When we left the service, however, things changed. I immediately brought up the question of getting pregnant and Richard agreed. However, you can't get pregnant without intercourse, and that just hasn't worked out. He wanted to wait until he was qualified to fly commercial planes so we could settle down. He took some flights as a third officer and it was decided that he mostly would fly out of Kennedy, so, happily, we were able to settle down here. But, still nothing.

"I made up a schedule each month of when I was most fertile, but, inevitability, those days Richard was gone. I became suspicious that he was putting in for layover flights to avoid being home. Twice I deliberately marked the calendar wrong and, of course, he was overseas on the days he thought I was fertile! Therefore, he was home at the right times and I instigated sex – which was hard for me to do – but he wasn't interested and when we did try to do something, he couldn't get hard! After the third failure I was furious! I know that men can have problems that way, but, damn it, I knew that he was fucking someone else! He still had the same habit of carrying condoms in an inside suit pocket or in his suitcase, and he was using them. As I told you, the attendants obviously had tits and cunts like the groupies and, obviously, he was using them. Not being able to perform is something I could accept, but wasting it on someone else when I wanted a baby was too much.

"I don't know if you saw any tension between us when we were both here last week, but I had blown up with him just before we came to visit you. One of the wives in our group on Okinawa had used artificial insemination to get pregnant and I threatened Richard with that. I actually got a pamphlet about it. I showed it to him and said that I might see about it since we were having no success, expecting him to voluntarily not screw his 'friend,' whatever she might be called, and be ready for me the next time. Instead, there was no change and when I showed him the pamphlet again, he actually said, 'You know, that might be a good idea since I can't seem to get an erection.'

"That infuriated me. He never mentioned trying Viagra, or seeing a doctor or anything! The thing is, I could well believe that he has an erection problem because he never has been hard enough to get deeply into me. When Mack fucked me, I was practically a virgin. But, in this case it was obvious that he was lying about his problem and fucking someone else instead of me. I began to wonder if he just didn't want to have kids, but, apparently, that's not it since artificial insemination is acceptable. I just don't know what's going on and I'm angry, hurt, worried, and I don't know what else. Is he wrapped up in an affair with another woman, not just playing around? Will he want to leave me for her? But, if so, why would he almost urge me to have artificial insemination? Of course, he probably doesn't believe I would do that, anyway. Gods, I don't know!"

"Oh my, honey, I had no idea. Well, of course I didn't. Actually, Mack did say something about the two of you being sort of edgy, but I didn't notice anything in particular. This is awful and it certainly is, well, to put it mildly, unfair of Richard. I can't believe that any man, if he's physically able, wouldn't do everything possible to get into you enough to get you pregnant. Of course, we hear of the husbands of beautiful movie stars having affairs with women who are not nearly as attractive as their wives. But you said that he was never particularly hard, even when you were just married?"