Hey!
Yes, I am terrible about updating, but here it is!
Also, all of your comments are giving me life!!
I know my stuff tends to get pretty dark. I'm more of a "Closer" person more than "The Notebook," so I like my erotica on the edgy side and lately I've been into exploring the darker side of my characters. But I hear ya! People have got to get it together!
This is more of a plot chapter and less of a sexy chapter, but I promise next chapter will be quite sexy.
Here is chapter 8!
—Aeli
***
It was a quiet night in the apartment. Alex and I were curled up on the couch. I was looking over proofs and arranging them on the coffee table. He was draped across the couch, head in my lap, on his laptop. I, lazy, rested my hand in his hair and he occasionally squeezed my thigh and smiled up at me when I looked stressed out. I really liked this side of him. I liked how much he could relax me with a touch and a simple smile. But no matter how comfortable I thought I was, something kept putting me on edge. I couldn't really relax because I knew this couldn't continue. I put the proofs down and tapped Alex on the shoulder.
"We need to talk," I sighed.
"Ok?" Alex's face fell when he saw the seriousness in my face. He sat up. "Talk," he said.
"I don't know where to start," I breathed, "I don't know what I was thinking," I rambled, "Things are getting too messy." That wasn't it, but it was close. It was so hard for me to put into words what I had to say.
"Ok," he breathed.
"This needs to stop," I said. Finally.
"Why?" he asked as he scooted closer to me on the couch.
"I thought we could stop with no questions asked," I answered.
"Yeah, but," he grinned, "come on. How many times did you cum last time?" he whispered as he leaned into me. I stopped him.
"Alex, we shouldn't," I said. But my hands dug into his shirt and pulled him closer instead of pressing him away.
"At least give me a chance to change your mind," he whispered. He began to kiss my neck. He cradled my face in his hands and softly pressed his lips to mine. Why was he such a good kisser? We both inhaled as we caught our breath and the kiss became more insistent. His tongue softly began to lick the inside of my lips. Teasing me. I felt myself getting hot and it took all I had not to shove him down and straddle him. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away. He stopped and just smiled, waiting. Of course, I couldn't stand being away from him for very long. I quickly leaned in, kissed him and pulled him back against me. He took my bottom lip in his and playfully nipped it. I moaned slightly. He grinned. I drew away and nuzzled his nose, tracing my mouth around his. I could feel the heat coming off his body and feel his heart pounding in his chest. I turned his face to the side and began to kiss and nip his neck. He groaned. I made my way up to his ear. He turned back to face me and stared at my mouth. His fingers drifted over my lips. I was fully intent on pushing him away, but I kissed his fingertips and, on an impulse, I opened my mouth and sucked one of his fingers to the back of my throat. I pulled it out slowly while looking at him. He locked eyes with mine and pounced, pressing my legs apart and getting on top of me. He began to slide his hands up my thighs. I could feel his cock pressing against me through his jeans. It was clear what was going to happen next. I shut it down as I shook myself to my senses.
"Alex, I can't. We can't," I whispered. Frustrated, he tried to bury his face back in my neck.
"Erica, you can't tell me he can do what I can," he said. I pushed him away. "Or do you need me to remind you of what I can do to you?" he smiled and pulled me back in.
"Its not about Elliot, its about me," I wriggled out from under him, "I can't do this anymore!"
"What?" he yelp as he ran his hands through his hair, "What happened?" he asked as he settled next to me on the couch.
"I don't know, I just can't," I sputtered.
"Why?" he challenged.
"Don't you see what's happening? Can't you see what's going on?" I asked.
"What's going on Erica?" he asked, frustrated.
"I don't like—" I started, "Never mind, this is getting—no, its become, ridiculous. That night, at the club, I had sex with two different guys in the same night. I've never done that before."
"And..." he trailed off.
"I don't like it!" I yelled, "I promised myself I'd never be like that. I'd never be..."
"Enjoying yourself?" he challenged, "Sexually free? Is that the promise you made?"
"That is not fair," I pushed back, "I am not some uptight sheltered prude who is having her slut moment. Fuck you for even trying to pin that on me."
"That is not what I said—" he started, but I cut him off.
"No! No, I can't talk about this with you. I can't talk about anything with you, you just turn it into sex."
"I do not," he defended.
"Yes, yes you do! You just turn me on and fuck me and overwhelm me and leave me before I can put my thoughts together. You don't consider the fact that I...I...don't even know how to feel about all this anymore. Its just...fucking..." I scoffed because I had stumbled on the most appropriate word, "its fucking!" I began to get upset, I could feel the tears starting in my eyes.
"But, Erica," he started carefully, trying to calm me down, "I thought that was what we were doing. I thought, when we agreed to explore this, it was simple. It was fucking. Thats it. Stop making it so messy."
"I'm not the only one making it messy," I pushed back.
"Its not my fault you're into labels and have some 'moral' code that bends to whatever you want. Not everyone plays by your rules sweetheart," he spat. His words stung.
"Fuck you Alex!" I shouted as I felt my tears begin to stream down my face. He froze. "I didn't want it to be this!"
"What is this?!" his voice jumped. His eyes began to glaze over. He couldn't look at me. "I was always upfront about everything. What is it to you, huh? You're the one who changes on a dime. What do you want?! " he yelled, his eyes looked glassy, he was upset. "I'll do whatever you want Erica."
"I don't want this," I sobbed. "I don't want this idea of fucking, this disgusting, body parts smashing together, no thinking, no feeling, just selfish and awful, awful, awful, awful..." I trailed off as I buried my face in my hands and began to cry. The room fell silent. Soon, I felt Alex's hand on my shoulder. I peered at him over my fingertips.
"Erica don't..." he whispered. I tried to look at him, to read his face, but he rested his forehead against mine; that way he could be connected to me, but not have to look at me. "Erica...I never meant to hurt you," he continued, "I just wanted to have fun. I'm sorry."
"Thats ok," I whispered back, "just know that I'm done. We're done."
"Why?" he asked.
"I thought I didn't need to tell you why!" I said, raising my voice.
"Just," he said, "are you sure?" he asked as he stroked my hair.
"Yes! I'm sure!" I shouted as I pulled his hand out of my hair and pushed myself away from him.
"Okay," he mumbled, his eyes fixed on his feet. "Fine. We're done." I could tell he wanted to say more, but he was holding back. He couldn't even look at me.
"Good," I said, upset.
"Good!" he yelled as he brushed past me. It was difficult, but it was done. It was over. I felt myself begin to get upset. I was angry and frustrated and sad. I went back to my room, curled up in my bed and cried.
***
"What's wrong, babe?" Elliot asked. I must have zoned out again.
"Nothing," I lied. I had been avoiding being in the apartment ever since Alex and I fought. But the gloom between us was weighing on me. However, I had been spending more time with Elliot, which was helping. We continued to cuddle, watch Netflix and drink wine. He told me about his day, I told him about mine and I did my best not to think about going back to the apartment.
Pretty soon I felt Elliot's hand on my chin and he gently pulled me in for a kiss. It felt good and I let myself get lost in it until something stopped me. As I got more and more into it, all I could think about was the way Alex kissed me. I pushed Elliot away.
"Follow me," I whispered as I sauntered off the couch and moved towards the bedroom. I was hoping to distract myself. The facts were simple. Elliot was gorgeous and getting to be a better lover by the day. I was sure that once I got his clothes off, Alex would be out of my head.
He followed me, grinning like an idiot. I sat him down on the bed. I quickly undressed in front of him. His eyes ran up and down my body. I loved the attention and that began to turn my mood around. I yanked his shirt up over his head, pushed him back on the bed and started to undo his pants. His quickly hardening cock bounced out of his briefs. I smiled. But, seeing a naked man in front of me, instantly, began to remind me of Alex. I pushed those thoughts away and focused on what was in-front of me. I had a gorgeous, smart, kind, naked, man in-front of me, who wanted to do everything in his power to please me.
I began to kiss him. He flipped me on to my back and slid down my body to my pussy. His tongue felt great. His fingers slid in and out of me in measured time. It was good, but it all felt so clinical. Like, I taught him one way to please me, and, now, that was all he was going to do. Ever. I began to swirl my hips to throw him off his rhythm. He just held me down and kept going.
We had been having sex every day that week, but the more sex we had, the staler it got. The staler it got, the harder it got for me to cum. I knew it wasn't him. He was doing things to me that any other woman would envy. It was me. Everything he did just made me crave Alex even more. I missed Alex's creativity and impulsiveness. I longed for how Alex always seemed to find new ways to pleasure me. How it pushed me to my limits.
I pushed Elliot away from my pussy and went for his cock. I did all I could to get him hard. I heard him hiss when my tongue met his cock. I quickly sucked him in and out of my mouth. I looked up just in time to see his eyes roll back into his head. Pretty soon, he felt hard enough, so I got on top of him and pinned him down.
Even though he was upset I stopped blowing him, he nearly lost it when I replaced my mouth with my pussy. His hips bucked hard against me as I eased myself down onto his cock.
"Oh shit," he slurred, his face twisted in pleasure. I began to bounce on his cock. I wanted it hard, I wanted it fast, I wanted to forget. I wanted to erase Alex from my mind and from my body. I wanted to cum, hard, around Elliot's cock.
