"So after a passable three course meal and enough wine to make me frisky he took me back to his place and fucked me with all the finesse of a jackrabbit! The idiot talked all through dinner about how well travelled he thought he was but had no clue where the clitoris was. Had to nip into McDonalds on the way home for a cheeseburger and a wank in the bathroom! "
Sammie almost choked on her cappuccino and glanced nervously around her, hoping no-one had heard her.
Judging by the scowl on the face of the woman at the table next to them mopping milk foam of her son's face it was too late. Sammie was grateful to the waitress for dropping a neat pile of napkins on her table for diverting attention. Sophia was obviously on a roll.
"It's just outrageous Sammie really, we spend hours plucking, waxing, primping and flossing for these dickheads and not only can't they make an effort in the wooing but most of them aren't even average at the fucking! I had a Brazilian for god's sake! That shit hurts... I expect at least two decent orgasms in return for that kind of effort!"
Sammie nodded, Sophia didn't really need the encouragement.
"They just make me sick! I'm just glad I wasn't wearing my best underwear. That would have been a total waste! I mean, honest to god Sammie, if you could have seen this guy! Good looking, built, cock like a racehorse... "
Sammie coughed again and caught the waitress's eye. She grinned and Sammie shrugged apologetically. Even after all these years, Sophia hadn't changed. Straight talking didn't even start to cover it.
"Anyway, enough about Mr Shit Fuck. Tell me everything about you and your trip to Seductionville. What happened? Please tell me he rocked your world! If I'm not getting any I sure as shit hope you are!"
Sammie glanced at the waitress again and although her back was turned as she wiped a nearby table, she just knew she was listening.
"Soph... you really are nosy!"
"And..."
"And I'm not sure I want to talk about it. Not yet."
"Oh come on! Friends share! I gave you all of my best tips and you can't even slip me a few details! I haven't even asked you who he is... I just want to know that my friend is getting her shag on!"
Sammie laughed as Sophia pouted and leant forward,
"I'll share this... Whilst he hasn't really touched me yet, he has already given me the best orgasms of my life and I'm certain he knows where the clitoris is!"
Sophia slammed her palms onto the table and shrieked,
"Fuckin' A! Finally!"
The waitress was most certainly hovering...
"Although Sammie, I have to ask... Why hasn't he touched you yet?"
"We're taking it slow Soph. It's nice... It's better than nice actually."
"Slow? Nice? Rather you than me. Did you blindfold him like I suggested?"
Sammie nodded and Sophia frowned,
"Are you sure this guy isn't gay Sammie? Because if you did that he should have been pounding you into the mattress within minutes!"
Sammie rolled her eyes, "I love you Soph but you really so think like a man sometimes. Just because we haven't had sex yet doesn't mean he's gay. We've done... things!"
"You need to do everything!! Shag him! Find out what he's made of!"
Sammie thought of Jake, naked on her bed licking her juices of her vibrator as his hard cock throbbed between them. She knew what he was made of...
"Maybe he's shy?"
The waitress obviously couldn't contain herself any longer and leant forward offering her thoughts. Sophia laughed and gestured for her to take a seat which to Sammie's chagrin, she did.
"He's not shy."
Sophia cocked her head at Sammie,
"She's the shy one. I'm Sophia. This is Sammie."
"Helen. Nice to meet you. So what are you going to do about Not-so-shy guy?"
Sammie looked at Sophia who just grinned and sipped her latte. Turning to Helen she shrugged.
"Well if I can offer a suggestion. Have you considered really wicked lingerie?"
...