I stood at the gas pump, shivering as the wind whipped past me, sniffling as I fought the urge to cry (again). It was two days after New Years, less than a week into January, and I had just been dumped.
Not just dumped. Epically dumped.
My boyfriend Colin waited till the week after Christmas, after I had given him his (very expensive) gifts and after we had laughed and celebrated with our families, to tell me he thinks after five years it might be time to see other people. He took me so completely by surprise that I just stared at him, dumbfounded, as he went on - "I love you babe, but..." and "I just think I need to see what else is out there before we..." and "it's not you..." He had the nerve to kiss my cheek, like he was just running to the store for a couple hours, before he picked up a suitcase I should have noticed by the front door and walked out.
"I'm gonna crash with Petey," he threw back over his shoulder before he started to pull the door closed.
I shook myself conscious, just before the door slammed. "What about rent??!"
I heard him quickly walk away like he hadn't heard. I looked around for a moment, wondering how I had ended up here, imagining a sea of numbers and debt collectors swirling around my head, before I collapsed on the couch and promptly burst into tears.
That was yesterday morning. I spent the entire day waffling between inconsolable and furious before I passed out in exhaustion.
When I came to at 4:45 this morning and decided I needed to get out. What better way to chase my troubles away than to literally ignore them altogether and run away. I threw my necessities into a weekender tote, grabbed my cell and car keys and locked up behind me. I jumped into my trusty little car and hit the road, destination unknown. Inexplicably, in the throes of winter, I thought north was the way to go. I stopped for some greasy diner breakfast, and then got stuck in weird traffic that didn't seem to have a cause, before I finally felt like I needed a break for gas and a stretch.
And here I am. Trembling in my not-warm-enough coat, thinking about how I got here. Freezing and cursing the slow fucking gas pump. My eyes welled with tears caused mostly by the cold and a teeny bit by Colin, that fucking dickhead.
"No, Mary. You are not gonna cry over that asshole anymore," I muttered to myself, desperate for the pep talk to work. I swiped my eyes with my free hand and willed my lip to stop quivering. I looked around, hoping no one was witnessing my near-breakdown.
And that's when I saw him.
In the next lane of gas pumps over, there was a super hot guy, older than my 24 years by fifteen years I'd guess, also pumping his gas. And he was staring straight at me.
His face was weathered but not really wrinkled, tan with dark thick hair. He seemed confident in his skin, standing tall and broad, his legs filling out a nicely worn pair of Levi's. I couldn't see the rest of him because of his car blocking my angle, but I could see the concern in his eyes from all the way over here and I kind of wanted to melt into a puddle of mortification. I turned away from his gaze, focusing on the (unbelievably slowly) climbing numbers on my own pump. I bounced a little in place, hoping for warmth, teeth chattering. I could feel my tits bounce a beat after the rest of me, causing me to groan and wonder why I hadn't worn a more supportive bra. Seriously. I guess I wanted to feel sexy as I set out on my little adventure and wore my laciest, flimsiest one, which did nothing to hold my D cups up as I bounced in place.
"One more stupid decision to add to the pile, Mary" I scolded myself. "You oughta quit while you're ahead."
"Excuse me," came a rich, deep, manly voice behind me.
Startled, I released the gas nozzle and spun around to see who was talking to me.
Of course, it was hottie from across the way.
"Um... uh... yeah?" I sputtered as I fumbled to reengage the nozzle and get the tank filled.
"I just wondered if you were all right," he said softly. "You look like you're having kind of a rough day and I didn't know if you might need some kind of help."
For the second time in as many days, I felt dumbfounded. And embarrassed.
"I look that bad, huh?" I tried for self-deprecating.
"Oh no!" he blushed slightly as he tried to explain. "I guess I just felt like you were having the same kind of week I was, and wondered if maybe you needed a friendly ear. Or something." He smiled a crooked smile.
"Oh, um... Well... " the nozzle finally clicked off, signalling the tank was full. I was grateful for the distraction of replacing the nozzle and telling the pump that "NO" i didn't want a receipt. "That's nice of you, Mister -"
"Joe," he offered. "Joe Brown."
"Joe," I tried again. "That's kind of you, but I don't really know you."
"Well you know my name, which is more than I can say about you," he teased lightly.
"Mary," I found myself telling him. "Mary Knight." I felt my eyes widen. "I can't believe I just told you that. You're basically a stranger. You could be a murderer for all I know."
He chuckled. "I promise I'm not a murderer, Mary. And it's good to meet you. Like I said, I'm having a shitty week and I guess it just seemed like you were a kindred soul. I thought maybe we could get a cup of coffee, warm up, and lend each other an ear."
I thought about the offer, hugging my arms around my body, still trying to get warm. I realized that I had little faith in my people-judging skills anymore. Colin blew any trust I had in my own judgment right out of the water with his left-field break up. I licked my chapped lips and noticed his warm chocolate eyes track the movement. God he was sexy for an older guy... Well, for anyone really. He was just sexy.
That decided it for me. What did I have to lose, right? Couldn't fall any lower.
"Okay," I said. "I'll move my car over to one of those parking spots and meet you inside at the coffee shop?"
He grinned and I felt my panties go damp. "That sounds perfect, Mary. I'll be right behind you."
Before I could make a fool of myself, I climbed into the car and fired it up. I adjusted the heaters to full blast and took a deep breath.
"This is going to be fine," I muttered as I maneuvered the car to the parking area. "Just a nice guy, playing good Samaritan to the hot mess in the Camry. Don't get carried away. Don't take out Colin's bull shit on this decent man. Don't make an ass of yourself."
By the time I got out of the car and made my way into the rest area, Joe was right behind me. He walked close enough that we could have held hands, but - obviously - we didn't. He held the door for me and I could feel the warmth of his body as I passed him.
A couple minutes later, we were both settled at a table in a mostly empty area of the food court. I took a fortifying sip of my hot strong coffee and asked him, "So. Why is your week so shitty?"
He took his own sip before answering. "Well it was my first holiday season since I got divorced this past summer, and my kids chose to be with their mom instead of me. Which I was mostly okay with, I guess, but it still kind of sucked. Then Christmas Eve, I had to take my dog to the emergency vet because he got hit by a car going too fast down my road... and poor Freckles didn't make it." Joe's eyes reddened and I could tell he was struggling.
"Oh my god that's so awful!" I told him, reaching my hand across to hold his. "You poor guy."
He looked a little sheepish for losing it, but softly said, "Thanks. It's just been a rough one this year." He sipped as he studied me. "How about you? What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone and weepy at this time of year."
Suddenly my tale felt less dramatic. This dude's dog died for crying out loud!
"Ugh. My boyfriend broke up with me and I think he moved out and I'm not sure if I can afford my rent and I think I might have to move home with my parents. I'm sure to you that sounds so dumb -"
"It doesn't sound dumb, Mary."
"It must! You're dealing with real life shit and I'm basically just upset that my boyfriend left."
"It's not a competition, sweetheart. You're entitled to your emotions and you're entitled to feel however you feel about a breakup."
I let out a huff of air as I tried to believe him. I was used to drama being a competition. My friends were constantly trying to one-up each other with whose life was worst, who had the hardest time, whose bullshit drama was most worthy of reality tv. But as I thought about it, sipping my coffee and thawing across from this sexy older man, I realized he was right. He could have his shit and I could have mine.
I smiled at him, "I guess you're right. That's a good way to think of it."
He gave me that panty-wetting smile again and I blushed.
"So how many kids do you have," I asked, hoping to change the subject.
His smile became more wistful as he glanced out the window. "Three kids. They're fourteen, twelve, and nine."
"Wow," I replied. "No wonder you're feeling blue. I'm an only child, but I always wanted to have brothers and sisters. Especially at the holidays."
"Yeah, I was one of six and I loved being part of a big family. My kids are great, but very protective of their mom." His face tightened and he took another sip. "If they only knew..."
"What? The divorce wasn't your idea?"
"Oh it was my idea, all right. I caught her in bed with our fourteen year old's nineteen year old tutor."
"Holy shit!"
"Yeah."
"So you came home one day and there she was, in bed with some scrawny teenage dick?"
"Almost... I came in to find her head between the legs of a nineteen year old redhead named Susan."
"Susan?" I asked, not sure I heard him right.
"Yep. Susan. She looked about ninety pounds, flat chest, no hips, fiery bush between her legs, and my Nancy was going to town on her. Susan was holding Nancy's head and panting about how much she loved her, and how she couldn't wait until they could live together like the family they wanted to be. I felt totally blindsided - I was like, what the fuck? In fact, I said that. I said, What the fuck is going on? Nancy came out of the teenage cunt and Susan tried to cover herself up... The ensuing blowup was pretty crazy. Turned out, Nancy was cheating on me with Susan, but cheating on Susan with a couple other people - one guy, one girl. Everyone stormed away... it got even uglier from there."
"How is it your kids choose her over you?" I ask, in a kind of horrified awe at his story.
"She told them I was trying to take them away from her, and she told them I was a bigot who couldn't handle the fact that she had been with a woman."
"She told them she had been with a woman??" I asked, incredulous that anyone would talk about such things with their kids. I thought of my own mother who, to this day, could barely say the word 'sex' without turning tomato red.
"Yeah. We are pretty open about sex and stuff with them. We tried to make it clear they could be whoever they wanted to be, explore, whatever. Her telling them I was suddenly changing my tune felt like more of a betrayal than her cheating, which I didn't really get into with them, since that's their mom."
"Wow," I said again. "You're kind of amazing." And I meant it. He seemed like such a cool dad, and a guy who had been dealt some major crap.
He laughed. "How do you figure? I'm alone, dogless, friendless, and miles from home."
I laughed as well. "Well, despite being basically a country song, you're not totally friendless," I corrected as I squeezed his hand. "And I just mean you could have gone on a major smear campaign. You could have destroyed her and you chose to be the bigger man."
He smirked, "I'm good at being the bigger man."
I laughed at his bravado, "oh yeah? I guess you are kind of a giant. What are you, like 7' tall?"
