"He's just so boring," I told Tracy, my best friend of ten years. She'd been with me through thick and thin and this time was no different.
"Yeah, but he has so many other wonderful qualities! He's so hot and he's a great dad to his kids. Honestly, the man is basically perfect," she reminded me, her blonde hair swept up into a messy bun.
"Yeah, except for the fact that he's vanilla. I knew I should have held out for a lifestyle guy. These military guys are so straight-edge," I decided to pull my dark hair up into a bun that matched Tracy's and as I did, a call came in on my phone. "Dammit, can you grab that! I'm getting my bun up."
"Hello? This is Marie's answering service. Who can I tell her is calling?" Tracy used her professional voice in an almost sarcastic tone, which set me off laughing. "Oh, well thank you for calling, Mitch. I'm Marie's best friend Tracy. She is fixing her hair and wait...she's ready. Here you go! Nice talking to you!"
"Mitch! Baby! How are you?" I said as soon as I'd grabbed the phone and put it up to my ear. Tracy was still giggling.
"Your friend is nice," he told me.
"Yeah, I can't wait for you to meet her! Can you come over now while she's here?" I could hear the desperation in my voice. I desperately wanted Tracy to approve of Mitch and since they hadn't met yet she couldn't give me a good assessment of him yet. I needed her opinion desperately. I was on the fence about Mitch because he just wasn't rough enough with me in bed and he showed no signs of liking rough sex or anything kinky. I couldn't live with that. I needed more and somehow I was hoping that Mitch had an ace in the hole or something. Maybe he was perverted deep down in there somewhere. I was keeping my fingers crossed.
"Sure! I'm only seven minutes away, remember?"
"I remember! I'm glad you're stationed close. I'll see you in seven." I hung up and began to jump up and down with excitement. "Tracy! He's coming! You're going to meet him!"
"Oh my God! I can't wait! Finally, the guy of your dreams. Well, almost." We giggled.
"Okay, we've got seven minutes to clean! I don't want him to know what a pig I am yet!"
"Got it!" Tracy and I cleaned right up until the second Mitch arrived, still in his uniform. "Oh my God...he is pure hotness from heaven," she added as he walked up the driveway and to the front door.
I let him ring the bell before I opened the door and we greeted one another with a hug and kiss. I introduced him to Tracy and I saw their interaction. I was shocked to see that Mitch was checking her out a bit too intensely. She looked a bit uncomfortable and so I cleared my throat and led him into the living room.
"Would you like some coffee? Water maybe?" I asked him. "Have a seat." I noticed he had brought a black bag with him, which he set down near his feet before he sat down.
"You have anything a sailor might actually drink? Something a little more intoxicating perhaps?"
"Yeah! I mean what do you want? Whiskey, Scotch, or Vodka?"
"Scotch!" he answered and so I fixed him some scotch on the rocks, not able to clearly hear what he and Tracy were talking about. I was a bit nervous with them together, especially after their introduction. I hurried with drinks for all of us and as I settled back into the couch with my drink I was shocked to hear Tracy say she had to leave.
"Come on, Tracy! Stay!" I begged her. I had wanted them to meet but maybe it hadn't been the best idea. I wasn't jealous of my friend. I knew she would never fuck one of my boyfriends unless I told her to. I was worried about Mitch. I wondered if he would fuck Tracy if given the chance. Maybe he wasn't as vanilla as I thought. I realized that I didn't know him very well at all. We hadn't been dating that long, but I felt so passionately about him and the way he had made love to me.
"I can't stay. I had something come up. I'll explain later. Please, trust me. I would be here if I could. It's family stuff. It was nice meeting you Mitch, sorry I couldn't stay this time."
"Nice meeting you Tracy!" he stood up and properly shook her hand before I walked her out.
"So what do you think?" I asked as we walked to her car.
"I don't think you know him as well as you think," she warned me.
"What do you mean?"
"I asked him if he likes sexual violence."
"You what?"
"You heard me. He said he loves it and he licked his fucking lips like a total pervert. I think he was flirting with me. This isn't a vanilla guy. Trust me," she looked at me emphatically.
"Okay...but I haven't seen any evidence of sexual violence yet."
"I think he's fronting."
"What?"
"He's pretending to be vanilla. Anyway, I really do have to go. I have to go pick up Annabelle from the store. She dropped her phone and it isn't working so she can't call for a ride. It figures my number is the only one she actually remembers. I'll see you tomorrow at yoga." She kissed my right cheek before getting into the car and driving off. I thought about what she said about Mitch. It couldn't be true. Could it?
I walked into the living room and was shocked to see three bottles of my alcohol open and in front of Mitch on the coffee table. He took a swig from the scotch and then groaned as the alcohol burned his throat.
"Having fun?" I asked.
"I hope you don't mind. It was a rough day at work and I need to blow off some steam. How was your day?"
"Geez! You already drank a lot! How are you not drunk?" I asked, eyeing the bottles. I didn't drink much and so I was shocked to see so much of my stash gone all at once.
"It takes a lot to get this sailor drunk!"
"How much?"
"I'm going to keep drinking and find out."
"What's in the bag?" I asked, eyeing the black leather bag he had next to him.
"Just some supplies from work I didn't want to leave out in the car. There's a lot of important gear in here."
"My neighborhood is super safe!" I assured him.
"I just like to have my bag with me where I can see it," he took another long drink from the whiskey bottle. "Come sit with me. Tell me about your day."
"Okay..." I sat on his lap and told him all about my day as he continued to drink and drink and drink. I was starting to get concerned. I had never seen a human being drink as much as he was and it was starting to scare me the way he was slurring his words.
"So what did you think of Tracy?" I finally asked the question that had been on my mind all night.
"She's a pretty girl. I love a woman with a hot friend," he answered as he drank even more.
"Are you into her?" I asked, my voice filled with jealousy.
"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't already envisioned fucking you and her at the same time. But what guy wouldn't, right?"
"You thought about us all fucking?" I was a bit overwhelmed by this.