Robbie's Diary

March 31, 2010 10PM

Nothing important happened today, but I know I committed to writing every day and I've not kept that promise. I'm soooooo nervous about tomorrow and Greg and I'm getting that butterfly feeling in my stomach and I feel like a total whore and I'm starting to

love

that. I look up at the camera and spread my legs for him so he can see my nicely trimmed bush and how swollen my lips are just thinking about what we did yesterday.

Melissa totally knows something's up. Shauna suspects something, but I've been playing it totally cool, denying anything's going on, keeping it totally quiet. I don't want them saying anything and besides, what can they say? I think they're more pissed at how much time I've been spending with Laura than anything else.

But mom is something else. She's been looking at me since it happened, or maybe I'm thinking she's looking at me. I don't want to spend too much time with them right now. I can't let them know!

But Laura noticed my bush right away in the locker room and raised an eyebrow. I smiled

and

blushed even though I don't know why. I've shared more with her in the past few days than Shauna or Melissa in the past...ever. Anyway, we made a date to study together again tonight and she could see I was upset, so I told her and she hugged me and said it was okay and that's when she said she wasn't a virgin anymore, so I felt like we shared even more. But I can't even tell her who did it, or what's going on, and I have to figure out how to answer her question about what guy it is. It's getting complicated. I'm going to stick with the college guy story if she asks again. I think she'd think that was cool I was dating an older guy.

Maybe I can convince Greg to take me out or something and I can start to use that. SHIT! He's coming tomorrow and I'm going to have to be naked and fuck, Fuck, FUCKKKK!!!

April 1, 2010 8:30 PM

I am sooooo turned on right now and so confused and so horny and sooooo happy Phil is my coach and fuck, Greg's cum tasted sooooo good. Oh yeah, what a freaking fucking weird afternoon. Like, if I thought I was a cum slut cunt before, now I'm like soooo going to tell CS how far I've come. Hard cock? On my knees and down my throat. Don't even ask me twice. And cum? I can't seem to get enough! Three times this afternoon and I can still taste it.

But fuck I'm like trussed up like a turkey too! I can barely move without pain shooting through my ass and nipples. Yeah, he clipped my nipples to a tube and slid that into my ass. It was sooooo gross and I felt so humiliated when he did it in front of Greg, but then I could hear CS talking in my head again and I just let go, submitted, and

it felt,

it

feels

so good. I just want to play with myself, but he's run the wires through my pussy and I can't really get anything inside and he told me I couldn't. He's edging me. CS told me it would be coming and here it is. I'm like totally on fire and he's controlling whether I can cum or not.

But again I've skipped to the end and there's so much more to tell.

So, I get there and Greg's already there and he's half undressed and I'm thinking like, 'Whoa, Phil, what are you into?' and then I thought 'What the fuck? Is this some kind of April Fool's joke?' and before I can react any more I'm upstairs and undressed and back down, just like Phil expected, trying to figure out how to make it through the day.

And Greg is like totally losing it when he sees me, which I hated and loved. I'm sure he was completely taken by surprise, but at the same time, get a grip. It's just me. Naked. Hasn't he liked watched enough porn to know what an 18 year old naked girl looks like? But yeah, I've seen him looking at me across the hall, and I'm sure he's undressed me a hundred times, so here I am asshole. And I almost lost my shit when he said he wouldn't work dressed if I was going to be naked! And he stripped! And I almost started laughing except his dick was sooooo cute and getting hard just sticking straight out and I knew it was because of me just standing there buck naked.

But then Phil just went totally bat-shit dom on me and told me to show Greg what kind of cum slut cunt I've become and I just didn't want to do it, cuz I still hoped I could go out with him and make things kind of normal. But even hesitating like I did was stupid and I knew he was going to punish me for it. So I knelt down and did my thing, his cock just sliding down my throat and my gagging and drooling and just kneeling there naked with my ass cheeks spread open.

And throughout it all he was humiliating me and calling me names and bragging to Greg about what a cunt and slut I was and I could feel myself getting wet and my lips swelling and I just wanted to taste him explode in my mouth, but he took it to another level! I didn't think I could be more exposed than that, with Greg just watching, but Phil told him to come feel me up!!!! And right then, as Greg's fingers just moved across my lips and barely entered me I knew how much I loved Phil and wanted him and needed him to be my coach.

He has so much more experience and has taught me so much and I felt that just in that stupid few seconds when Greg was fumbling around trying to figure out how to get his fingers into me. And Phil just goading us both on, telling Greg to taste me and then Phil cums and I can't take it anymore and I have another orgasm! Like this was my second real one!!!! And all I wanted to do was keep having them and have Greg shove his fingers up into me, but he's like kneeling behind me doing I don't know what and then Phil tells me to humiliate myself by telling Greg what I really am.

So I turn around, my hands still keeping my ass open and I tell him I'm a cum slut cunt and Greg's just totally confused, he's so naïve, but his cock is so big, and so hard and I can see it pulsing and I know Phil wants me to show him what I mean cuz Greg's totally not getting it. And I'm on him and before I've practically got him down my throat I feel his cock thicken and he just cums and cums and cums and it's a lot and it's lumpy and it's sooooo sweet and soooo different from Phil's and I just moan and swallow and can't get enough.

And then Phil explains the rules to Greg and I can barely hear him through the blood pumping through my ears and Greg's cock throbbing in my mouth but I realize he's just made Greg my second dom and I'm really fucked now. Cuz Phil's told him he can make me blow him anytime he wants or he can fuck me or use me as long as he follows the rules, and I get this sense that Phil has something on Greg because he said something and Greg went all stiff and quiet.

And it was weird to work with Greg with both of us naked. I kept seeing him staring at me and his cock kept getting stiff. Not like a full blown erection, but swelled and sticking out from his blond curls and he was self-conscious but then he'd just keep working like it was all normal and I relaxed a little which is just fucking weird, because I really really just wanted to go out with him and not be in this horrible situation as his cum slut cunt. And then it was time to go and I got a little worried that I might get home late, but we needed to check in with Phil and that's when shit got really really weird. Not that working naked with a guy I have a crush on isn't totally weird!!!

But Phil got all in my face about not doing a good enough job and I knew it was just an excuse to punish me, and it was double punishment of course, because it was in front of Greg, and I think he just wanted Greg to see how much of a slut I've turned into and that's when he made me expose myself to Greg and then he ate me!!! Phil shoved his tongue up inside me and it just grossed me out so much and it felt so weird and really good, and I remembered Jeffrey doing it to me and then he kept humiliating me and demeaning me with his words and comments and making me tell Greg what kind of slut I was and I was just getting more and more worked up and angry and sad and soooooo fucking horny!!!!

And then he clipped my nipples and shoved a tube up my ass and it hurt so bad and I just wanted to shout Turtle! But I knew he would have won and fuck him if he thought he'd get me to stop that easily, so I just swallowed and cried at the pain and then he told me to suck off Greg again and that was sooooo great even though it hurt like fuck on my nipples, but that's what made it feel so great too and that just confuses me. So now I'm just sitting here on my bed, my legs spread open so he can see me while I'm doing my homework and I have no fucking idea how I'm going to walk with these wires on my nipples let alone run!!!! I guess I better get up and practice walking so I can get through the day tomorrow. And fuck! Taking a shit? How am I supposed to stick that thing back in me???? It's sooooo gross.

And then it just occurred to me--how am I going to explain this in the locker room????

April 2, 2010 8:00 PM

So I totally couldn't run today with those horrible clips on my nipples and even though I didn't take them off, one of them just popped off into my bra and it was enough to relieve the tension and fuck if I was going to re-attach it, but then I'm thinking 'Shit! Phil's going to just punish me even more.' And then I just said fuck it--he'll never find out. But that's not even the biggest news of the day!!!!! Laura found out about them! And I think maybe she wants to know more about what I'm doing and it's fucking exciting and scary as shit because I can't tell her about Phil and fuck fuck fuck!!!!

It was really weird. I was so worried I'd have to explain what was going on to her when I got undressed in the locker room (or figure out how to do it someplace else and then explain

that)

when I decided to tell Coach I couldn't make it to practice. I figured I was off the hook with Laura, but then she ran into me before practice and she practically dragged me into the girl's bathroom to tell me she had done it. She'd deep throated Tony Alvarado, the tight end (who has a really tight end) and he was like so amazed and said he was going to tell everyone, and she freaked a little, but the part she loved is how little she had to taste his cum and it was like a total 'win-win' she said. But then she looked at me and saw I was in pain and I couldn't explain it was from my period, and she insisted and so I told her she had to keep a secret and I let her see the clip on the one nipple. She put her hand over her mouth and looked at me, amazed and a little freaked and then she asked if the other nipple was that way and I said it should be but it wasn't and I showed her. And she looked at me with some kind of look...I don't know if it was envy or respect or disgust...I hope it was respect, because she asked whether I was going to have to rehook it up or whether the guy had to do it, and I explained I'd probably get punished if it wasn't hooked up.

AND THAT'S WHEN SHE ASKED IF SHE COULD HOOK IT UP!!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!

I just looked at her and saw how glazed her eyes were and I knew she wanted to feel what I was feeling but hadn't had the courage or maybe didn't know who on the team would be able to do it. And I just looked down and felt that feeling that CS told me it felt like and I just said 'yes' to Laura and it hurt really bad for a few minutes and she rubbed me and kissed my cheek and told me how much she so wanted to do what I was doing and how great it was going out with a guy who knew what to do. And so I just sat on the bench and watched everyone else do their shit and commented to Coach who really treated me nice.

And I finally connected with CS tonight and I asked her about Laura and whether I'd have to tell Phil and she said I had to answer him truthfully if he asked, but that if he didn't, then what he didn't know couldn't hurt. But every time my left nipple hurts I just feel Laura's fingers pinching it and putting the clamp back on and watching her face and how turned on she was and she didn't seem to mind touching my breast and I'm just wondering what she's really about.

9 PM

So WHAT THE FUCK???? Greg just called me and asked me out for tomorrow night and like it sounded like a real date, except he was fumbling around about something or other and then I got it that he expected me to act like he'd seen me yesterday and I almost cried and then I almost laughed. He's sooooo young. What was I thinking when I thought about going out with him, like all year? But Phil is behind all of this and I have to do it, and Greg's cock is really really nice and his cum is soooo tasty. It'll be fine even though I'm probably going to have to teach him how to act with me.

Fuck.

April 3, 2010 11:45PM

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!

I'm in so much trouble with Phil. He's going to punish me sooooo bad on Tuesday. I blew it. I so blew it with Greg tonight!!!! FUCKKKKK!!!!

I mean, he's such a stupid little boy!!! He didn't even pick me up for the date but expected me to go there on my own! What a fuck!!!!

And then, when I get there my ass is so sore from the tube and my nipples are like inflamed and the wires are rubbing my lips raw and I don't know what he's going to do. But we go up to his brother's apartment only his brother isn't there, but his brother's roommates are and I get scared, cuz I know what could happen and Greg doesn't know what he's doing.

And I'm so scared that I don't do what he asks. It was simple: just take off my clothes, but I didn't want to do what I knew was coming next. They were going to gang rape me. And then he just starts going crazy and calling me names and I couldn't run and I didn't want to use my safe word! Why didn't I just use my safe word???? Because I was going to show him that he couldn't beat me at this game either.

And then, then one of the guys brings a beer bottle and Greg demands I tell him I'm his cum slut, and I know I've lost and I just give in and submit and it feels like a dream more than a nightmare. And he lets me taste a little beer, but then he makes me shove the bottle up my pussy and tells me to take it all in. Which I can't of course, but even as I'm shaking it inside of me, and the wires are rubbing hard against my lips, he forces me onto his cock and he cums in no time and I can hear the roommates laughing and shouting.

And then Greg is pissed because I haven't taken all the beer up my vagina and he makes me bend over and spread my ass and he takes the tube out and it hurts so bad and the wires pull on my nipples and I scream and he shoves the bottle up into me and I feel it foaming up inside me and I've never had anything up my ass before except the tube but it was tiny compared to the beer bottle, and now I was getting a beer enema! I was so pissed off and in pain and I wanted to just stomp out of there. But he threatened to punish me more if any came out, so I just kept my asshole clenched after he pulled out the bottle. The whole time we drove away to dinner. And he was so clumsy and stupid that he didn't even think about it when I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

The beer just fizzed out of both of my holes and I sobbed and it smelled so bad and my nipples stung so much. But I didn't have to put that fucking tube back in the whole night at least.

Still, I knew I was in trouble with Phil, but then I really fucked it up. Going to the movie and giving him a hand job and eating the popcorn with his sperm all over it. That was actually fun, but the drive back. That's going to get me trouble.

I really needed to pee and I hadn't thought about it before we started driving, so Greg pulled off the road and told me to strip and do it in the light of the headlamps. And I just shut down. I just thought, 'Fuck you, you little wimp of a man! You're not man enough to make me do this!' But I didn't say any of that, just 'No,' and he didn't know what to do about it. He could have done so much!!! Phil would have been all over me in a heartbeat, but Greg, the stupid wimp, just shook his head and told me to get back into the car.

I'm scared now. Phil's going to hear it from him and I don't know what's going to happen, but he's not going to let it go. My asshole hurts so much from that bottle, but I had to put the tube back in and now my nipples are bright purple red. I hope he hasn't damaged them permanently.

April 4, 2010 10:30PM

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!!! My ass and nipples are sooo sooo sore, but I am so horny and he won't let me cum!!!!!

He came over for dinner!!! And I was like, what the fuck are you doing here and he told me mom and dad had invited him! And they hadn't told me!!!! FUCKKKKKK!!!!!! I mean it's Easter, sure, but we don't even celebrate it at all, so they decided to invite him over this year????

I'm so sore. I've had that tube up my ass for days and my nipples and those clamps.

He waited for me to come down for dinner and made me strip in the front hall and my parents were just around the corner!!!! And all he could think of was whether I'd cum with Greg last night and he made me hold my shirt up so he could play with my nipples.

FUCKKKK! If I had thought last night was bad, I wasn't sure I could survive tonight. And all the while I'm thinking about what he's really going to do to me on Tuesday when he hears how I fucked up. And I'm like shaking I'm so scared. He was toying with me, just a few feet from my parents!! It made me sooooo hot and sooooo worried!

And then at dinner he asked about GREG!!!! And I'm naked, practically, cuz I only have a t-shirt on and no bra and my shortest shorts and no underwear, and I'm sure my mom can see the clips on my nipples and why nobody could smell me is totally a mystery. I couldn't stop smelling me. And what am I supposed to say??? He just was playing with me all night and I could barely eat and as soon as I could I ran upstairs. But he whispered to me as I was leaving the table that I had to stand naked at the top of the stairs.

So, I'm standing in the dark stark naked, my father or mother could come out of the kitchen and head up at any time, and I'm just oozing and dying and the clips are pinching me, or my nipples are just reacting to having him touch them and I've had a little to drink and I'm just hoping he'll come soon and I'm just staring at the doorway to the kitchen and listening to them laugh and drink more. I'm nothing to him, I realized. I'm just a fuck toy to him. He's never let me believe anything other than that, but I start crying when I finally realize it. It's only been six weeks and he has another five months with me. If I've turned into a little cum slut cunt for him in just six weeks, what will I be in five more months??? And I just stood there sobbing and nothing CS had told me was helping and after what Greg did to me last night, I was just, I don't know the words. Lost? In despair? Trapped? All of those things, but also I wanted him to do more to me, to teach me more, to push me more. I knew I could go farther even though I felt like he had pushed me over the edge.

And then he came out and walked up the stairs and he forced me onto my knees and let me take his cock down my throat and he was quick, so quick I realized he had been turned on by the dinner way more than me!!!

But then he made me beg him to take the clips off my nipples, and even though he put ice on them, he looked at me and I knew he expected me to beg him to pinch them and I did and it hurt so much I screamed and then I realized my mom would hear and we'd be caught and he was sooooo mad and I was hurting so much and I just wanted to cum so hard. First him on Thursday, and then the wires brushing against my clit all weekend, and Greg fucking with me on Saturday. I had read about edging and denial and CS had warned me it was coming, but I was so keyed up and I was sobbing from it all and he was being so cruel and he kissed me!!!! And I melted but it was just to muffle my screams when he pinched my nipples harder and I cried and hummed my safe tune because I had to call it quits. He won that round.