Rewind

Lucas (LITEROTICA POST STOPPED HERE.)

I'd slept much longer than 30 minutes. I leaned forward, groaning at the movement. I flicked my wrist, taking a quick look at my watch.

5:18. Shit.

I checked the phone; the alarm failed to set.

Useless.

While Franz had been singing my praises, he mentioned a staff mixer being held at the nearest lecture hall at 5:30, and I had slept through the entire afternoon. I hadn't even managed to log into the campus wifi on my phone.

I stood quickly, exiting my office and the classroom, heading to a bathroom on the floor. After using the facilities, I washed my hands, then splashed my face with some cold water carefully, as not to get any on my suit jacket, before buttoning it up.

I looked in the mirror and reflected on the day. The 9 hour flight, the mixup with the luggage, getting the luggage into the campus accommodations--a nonstop rush. The day before, I had to sell the property in Berlin, and the day before that, I had to clear out my office at the university.

I needed a bed, desperately. Franz had asked me if I'd rather come in on Monday, but I just had to see her.

She still looked like I remembered her. Soft and curvaceous. 5 years seemed to have graced her with even more beauty, her figure more defined, her ass jiggled a bit more than I remembered as she mounted the stairs.

Jiggled more than when she would mount me.

Men have done worst things for love than leave an esteemed career opportunity behind. I should've never left New York in the first place. Berlin was beautiful, the women were lovely, but they weren't

her

. I needed

her

, and I couldn't imagine a reality where she didn't feel what I felt when we were together.

I headed down the stairs quickly. The lecture hall was in another building across the square. The halls were silent now, the sun setting fast. I crossed the courtyard, the sound of laughter and polite chatter becoming louder. I reduced my pace to a stride and caught my breath.

Checking my watch again, it read 5:29, but the event was in full swing. I headed through the large double doors, greeted by several curious faces.

"Ah! There he is!" Franz put out a hand and beckoned me over.

"Franz!" I wonder what he made of my acting skills earlier in the afternoon.

He knows we know each other. We held study groups in his room after his last lecture. Maybe he just doesn't remember...or maybe it's too entertaining to interfere.

"Lucas, this is Doctor Armond Wilks, professor of Organic Chemistry over at the Greene building!" He motioned to a tall black man in a grey suit. I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you." Wilks nodded. "Franz has told me a lot about you, heard you ran track back in the day. What's your best?"

"400 meter in 57 seconds; 800 in 2:15."

"Great! We've got a little crew here on campus, you should join us next Tuesday." He shook my hand again.

I nodded. "I'll see you there." It felt good to jump right into things.

Franz shuffled me over to his next victims. "Here are our star physicists, Dr. Ananya Gita, nuclear, and her brother, Dr. Rajesh Gita, quantum. Isn't that just grand!"

Ananya smiled. "You went to Harvard, right? I remember you! No surprise you're a linguist now, did you ever get around to learning Hindi?"

I'd made a very weak attempt earlier in the year. "Thoda sa," I replied, pinching my fingers together. Her brother chuckled.

"Ah, and of course you

met

Dr. Elaise earlier, this is her

boyfriend

, Peter Cruz."

His emphasis on those two words led me to believe he knew exactly what he was doing.

Stirring up shit.

No one knew about Dawn and I, this I knew for a fact. Maybe the girls who resided on Dawn's floor, but a quick sweep of the room told me that none of those women were here, and even if they were, they sure as hell wouldn't go running to Franz.

All he

did

know was that she and I put up an act. If he pressed the issue, I'd just say it's to promote a sense of professionalism in the department. What they don't know won't hurt them.

I looked over at her boyfriend and felt him sizing me up. I returned his look with my own blank one, giving nothing away.

What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Because there's no way she told him about the things we did. The things

I

did. The way it made her feel.

------------------

Lucas

"Lucas." I put out my hand.

"Peter." He accepted it, shaking firmly.

Very firm.

He was tall, conventionally attractive but simple. What does she see in him?

"Babe!" I fought not to turn my head when I heard her voice.

Babe?

I felt rage simmering to the surface. Upon meeting him, I could tell he was insecure. This was not the man for her. I couldn't feasibly expect her to have been single for 5 years, but him...

He's just not

right

for her.

A little voice inside quipped back, seething.

So, who is?

I am.

"Hey sexy," he stated, quite loudly. As soon as she was close enough, he wrapped his arm around her, gripping her hip, lips at her ear.

She was obviously incredibly uncomfortable, embarrassed by his little display.

Especially since I've done the same thing and got a completely different reaction.

She wouldn't meet my eye.

How could she let this man touch her? Have her?

Dawn pushed his hand away. "Peter, please," she whispered, looking around to see if anyone noticed.

He looked at me, anger flashing in his eyes before he quickly regained his 'composure': a neutral, yet dismissive expression.

Franz had long disappeared, no doubt watching the exchange from afar. Academia was far too polite for anything to come to pass, but everyone loves drama, and Peter was really fucking testing me.

I turned to Dawn and smiled. I had to choose my words carefully, or she'd be hearing about this later, no doubt. But I wanted the mere possibility of me having her seared into his brain and leave him wondering,

what if?

"How has Columbia been treating you?"

She returned the smile, Peter watching our exchange, a frown growing. "It's been great! The students are great, I've been developing a new curriculum and I'm excited to see how it performs this semester." She opened her mouth to say more, but saw the look on his face, and decided not to.

Prick.

Peter spoke up, rather aggressively. "Why did you leave Germany?"

My eyes flicked over to him. "Columbia gave me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"PhD alumni, first year teaching, acclaimed position--how good could the offer be to derail your career?" Dawn looked at him with disbelief. Turning back to me, her eyes apologized profusely.

I hoped she could see the message behind mine. I

owe you an apology for leaving. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be with him.

I turned to him and answered frankly. "Associate Director."

She touched his shoulder. "Being offered an associate director position with only one year teaching is very rare," she said matter of factly.

"That Euro to Dollars conversion can't be that great," he sneered. He was right. It wasn't. But the position was ancillary.

I'm here for her.

Dawn cut his line of questioning short. "

How

was Germany?"

The question made me smile. She would've loved it. Some of the finest galleries in the world are in Germany. I angled myself away from Peter completely, preparing to go into detail. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Franz earnestly summoning me.

I should probably attend to him instead.

"I'll tell you about it another time." I winked and tilted my head in Franz's direction. "Franz would introduce me to God himself if it meant that he was the first one to do it."

She laughed and clamped her mouth quickly. I flashed her a sheepish grin. I looked over at Peter, clenching my jaw. "Nice to meet you man."

"Yeah, you too," he muttered, but the words did not match the sour expression on his face.

Franz spent the next hour and a half introducing me to everyone in the room. They seemed nice enough, but I had only come to see one person, and she was permanently occupied by

Peter

, whose eyes I felt on me the entire time.

I can't have her squirting and making a mess in a whole room full of people, now can I, you asshole?

After talking to the Director of Philosophy for 15 minutes, I was ready to pass out. But first, I had to take a piss. I excused myself and quickly found an exit.

I headed towards the elevators and got in the moment a set of doors opened, pressing the button for the 3rd floor. Just as they were about to close, a hand shot through the gap, halting its ascent.

The doors parted and Peter got in, standing to my left. I didn't bother addressing him. He'd say what was on his mind if he managed to muster up the courage.

It didn't take long.

"Did you fuck her?"

I kept my body facing the doors but cocked my head to look at him. He looked ahead, his angry expression betraying his feigned stoicism.

"No."

He turned to look at me.

"Good."

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, and he walked out briskly, the door to the stairs squeaking open, then slamming closed.

I exited the elevator, walked to the bathroom, and did my business. While drying my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror.

What did he expect? For me to say yes?

I shook my head and sighed. He didn't seem convinced.

He was right not to be.

I just didn't consider what we did

fucking,

that's all.

------------------

Lucas

I couldn't help but to touch her.

Night after night of laying beside her made me realize that I was in love. She was everything. Smart, curious, kind...funny.

Naturally and effortlessly present in the moment. Sometimes when she'd speak, I'd close my eyes

so I could focus,

so as not to be distracted by her beauty. I found myself becoming erect from her words alone, and I started caring less and less about whether she found out about them. Honestly, I hoped she would, just so I could see what she'd do. Somehow, she never did.

I wanted her to know how she made me feel. But she wouldn't be able to understand that from my erections alone. I wanted to do things to her. I would spend the day thinking about the conversations from the night before, her laughter ringing in my ears, stirring my soul.

I'd fall asleep beside her and have dreams

about

her. Kissing her, undressing her,

touching

her.

Tasting her.

I just couldn't get enough.

For some reason, she never questioned why I came back night after night. She just let me in. I rationalized it by saying to myself that it's because she felt the same way, I just had to make the first move.

But once I got in her bed, I just couldn't muster up the courage just to...

touch her.

What if I was wrong? What if she rejected me? I couldn't risk losing her, even as a friend.

So, we laid there, and we talked.

But tonight, after seeing her bent over like that, seeing her look at me like that, I couldn't talk.

I needed to feel her.

It took everything for me not to sit her ass on that desk and take her right there. It just wasn't the right time.

The right time came later. I just did it. I pulled her to me and ran my hands down her back and along her hips, and the look on her face...my heart grew so big, it nearly burst.

Once I had a taste, I knew I'd never get enough. As soon as I touched her, I wanted more.

I just had to ask. I needed to know if anyone had ever connected with her the way I intended to. I ran my thumb over her bottom lip.

"When was the last time you made love?"

Eyes fixed on one another; I watched her ponder the question. She chuckled nervously, licking her pink, full, juicy lips.

"Thinking about it now, I don't think I ever have."

How is that possible?

Just do it.

Say it.

Say it!

"Let me."

Let me be the one to change that.

Her eyes flickered with desire, which was quickly replaced with confusion.

"Let you?"

I could barely keep myself together. It would take a thousand years of celibacy to even try and deny the effect this woman had on me.

"I want you."

I need you.

Our eyes stayed locked, and I went back to caressing her body. I wanted to say more, but what more was there to say? She'd either say yes, or no.

Instead, she said:

"Why?" Her tone was one of disbelief.

I could hardly believe the question.

"Why?"

I brought my lips to hers, hovering.

"You are the most incredible woman I've ever met, that's why."

I waited for a few seconds for her to pull away, and when she didn't, I realized I had never gotten something I wanted this badly in my life, and if I didn't seal the deal right now, I might never get a chance like this again.

So, I kissed her.

------------------

Lucas

Her lips were

so

soft.

Impossibly soft. I captured her bottom lip and sucked on it slowly. Her sheathed breasts were now pressed up against me, her hand on my chest. I'm certain she felt my heart racing, but it didn't matter. I brought the hand that had been running up and down her body to cradle her face, and she opened up for me.

My tongue met hers and they danced, her light breathing intermingled with sweet sighs. Her hand moved slowly up my chest to my shoulder, along the side of my neck and up the back of my head, raking her fingers through my hair. The action sent a current through my entire body. She teased my lower lip with a tug, then grazed it with her teeth. I groaned.

Fuck me.

Dawn pulled back, and I opened my eyes, hers ablaze with need; lips parted, slightly reddened by our tango.

I dove into her again, with more urgency this time, bringing my hand to her back and under her shirt, undoing her bra in one fluid motion. She arched her body to me, moaning against my mouth.

I had imagined it--

dreamed

of it many times. The sounds she would make

for

me,

because

of me. Nothing my mind manufactured could come close to the sound she made. It was soft and sensual, and the moment it ended, I wanted to hear it again.

I need to make her do it again.

I sat up and pulled her up to me. She complied wordlessly.

Her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown. Not hazel, but more than just brown, with dark outer rings that resembled that of a lioness. They captured the moonlight, making them glow like swirling pools of honey.

I pulled her shirt up off her body, her voluminous shoulder length curls offering up a bit of resistance. She giggled when it popped off, the cups of her bra slipping lower, teasing. The look on my face must've betrayed me because she slid the straps down slowly, revealing herself to me. The glimmer in her eyes told me that she was not as innocent as she led everyone to believe.

I reached out and cradled her pretty titties in my hands, thumbing her taut chocolate nipples. Electricity surged between us, grounding itself at my cock. I looked down at her waist, longing to see more of her. She followed my eyes down, her hair spilling forward over her luscious breasts, a sheer veil on precious gems.

"Do you want me to..." she pointed at the satin pants, "take these off?"

Of course I want you to take them off.

"Yes." I hardly recognized my own voice. It was thick with wanting; gruff. I often experimented with the depth of my voice--women liked it, but this situation was much more than a hookup, and there was no need for me to try too hard.

Silently, she rose up off the bed, wiggling out of her soft grey pajama pants. Thick thighs emerged, cleaved by hot pink panties. They were lacy, barely covering her pussy.

Did she wear those for me?

"...should I take these off too?"

So coy, so naughty.

Yes.

I was up and behind her before I even realized it, the rear view just as amazing as the front, her plump ass swallowing up the lace.

"No."

I gently gathered her hair and put it to one side, exposing her neck to me. I trailed my fingers from her neck to her back, bringing my hand up to her stomach to pull her body to mine. My cock was getting harder and harder, and I

needed

her to feel my excitement.

Her ass on my cock nearly sent me over the edge, pre-cum dripping from my tip. The pressure of her against me made it throb, and I fought the urge to moan, a low, pained grunt emanating from me instead. "Aah."

I brought my other hand to her throat, squeezing gently, tilting her head back to me.

Control yourself.

I skimmed my lips up her neck before finding my resting place at her ear. Her back bowed and she shuddered, all while softly grinding her plump ass up against my cock, teasing me.

I could just bend her over and lodge myself deep inside her. But this wasn't about me, and I intended to draw this out until she was thoroughly satiated.

No way. Not yet.

I turned her to face me.

"Lay back."

------------------

Dawn

The journey back home was silent. I didn't even bother turning on the radio.

As soon as we made it home, I went upstairs, ready to get out of my clothes and into the shower.

I didn't even get to turn on the faucet before he started.

"How do you know him again?" Peter sat on the edge of the bed, watching me take the pins out of my hair in the bathroom.

"Who?" I feigned ignorance. I was not trying to get into one of these arguments tonight.

"Lucas." he bristled, still fully dressed.

"You know I don't like when you have your outside clothes on the bed," I muttered. My silk pressed hair tumbled down my shoulders, and I glanced at myself in the mirror before moving on to shimmying out of the dress. I wore a blue matching bra and panty set. Pretty conservative choice today, thank god.

He remained seated. "Tell me about how you two know each other."

Whatever I said would be a problem. I was never going to tell him about what Lucas and I did, but he would turn over any bit of information I did offer up and never let it go.

"Lucas and I were in the same study group while I was getting my masters."

"Study group."

"Yeah." I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping that I was wearing the lie well. I tried not to think about the truth. I regularly had flashbacks about the truth.

Lucas was the best I'd ever had. No man could compare.

I pumped my facial cleanser in my hand. After he left, I searched for the feeling, prioritizing it over everything else. I soon realized that maybe that wasn't possible. Every partner brought something different, and it wasn't fair to them that I was holding them to those kinds of standards.

"Dawn."

I rubbed the cleanser in, then hovered my face over the sink, the water washing away my makeup. Lucas was...

exceptional

. An exceptional lover, partner, friend. It was tough when he left. I went back to my old ways, putting my head down and focusing on getting through the PhD program, sex losing nearly all of its appeal.

I needed more.

Peter made the most effort out of all the men I dated. The sex was good enough. I figured that since I had the experience, that was more than most women could hope for, and I should just be happy that I had the experience at all. There were other things more important than that.

"Dawn."

He just isn't Luc.

I pumped my second cleanser into my hand and repeated the process.

Sometimes it felt like Lucas was hungry,

starving

for me, and no other man had ever been that way. It wasn't difficult for me to get guys, but Luc was just

different

. When he touched me, it was as if my skin had been set ablaze. There was an electricity between us that was just undeniable. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about his return.

Stay away from him.

Peter became insecure as soon as he saw other men show any kind of interest in me. The issue had only gotten worse over time, and from the way he behaved around Luc, this time would be disastrous.