Divorce means more than breaking apart a household. Property settlements don't address friendships.
Frank and Peggy were Lorraine's neighbors and friends long before I married her and I expected their neighborhood ties would stay long after I had moved away.
I was wrong.
A few months after I moved away I got a Christmas card from Peggy, asking that I stay in touch. It was a comfort and a surprise. I lived a moderate distance away – about 50 miles – but responded to their suggestion that we have a holiday drink together. It was convenient for me to visit them the following Friday evening, and they made it clear I'd be welcome.
It was an odd feeling pulling into their driveway and noticing – how could I not? – a strange car in my former wife's driveway.
After a long "How are you doing?", "Want another drink?" and general catching up conversation I mentioned the car in Lorraine's driveway. "That's not the only one that's been there," Frank told me. "She was having all night visitors the week after you left, that doesn't surprise you, does it?" He and Peggy went on to say they knew Lorraine, who worked in real estate, had several affairs during our five year marriage. I was surprised. "And you didn't tell me? Wouldn't either of you have wanted to know, if I found out the other was cheating?"
"Lorraine said you guys had an understanding," was the excuse offered. "Since you were away so often, she said you agreed, so long as she kept it quiet, she didn't have to spend her nights alone."
"No way!"
"Well, that's what she told us," Peggy said. "In fact, a couple of times when you were gone she asked me to go out with her at night, that the change of pace and partners would be fun."
I looked questioningly at Frank: "Do you two have an 'understanding' too?"
"No," Frank said. "But I did tell Peggy she could go if she took plenty of pictures."
"Did you go, Peggy?"
"No, I didn't. Too bad, we could have used the pictures."
"Yeah," I said, "pictures of your wife screwing around are great, especially in a divorce court."
"Well," Frank said, "I thought they'd be fun in the bedroom, not in court. It would have had more of a personal touch than the store-bought stuff we used to watch."
"You watch porn together?"
"Sure," Frank said, "doesn't everyone? It makes bedtime a lot more fun."
"It does, at least for us," Peggy agreed. "Didn't you guys watch it?"
"I suggested it, but Lorraine kept saying we didn't need anything like that," I said, getting a little uncomfortable with the conversation. "Are you sorry you didn't go with Lorraine?" I wanted to know. This was not the Peggy and Frank I thought I knew.
"No, not at the time at least." She sighed again, and then with a sad smile said "Maybe I am now, though."
"Huh?"
Frank took a deep breath. "Ah, shit. You know about all of the erectile dysfunction stuff you see on TV? That's me, in the flesh. I had a prostate problem six months ago, way too early – that's for when you're a lot older. Anyway, I had a bit of surgery to fix it. The doctors tell me the plumbing is all OK, that it's all in my head, but damn it, things don't work very well."
"Frank, you didn't have to tell Joe that, and besides, I love you anyway."
She turned to me. "Frank is a great guy, and about the plumbing not working? It doesn't matter; he pleases me in lots of other ways. This just isn't a problem."
I did a quick calculation, and concluded we each had about 4 cocktails in two and a half hours. I'm a pretty big guy, but Frank and Peggy were not. I guess they had one or two over the amount it takes to turn off social inhibitions. Well, at least they wouldn't be driving tonight. I smiled a bit. They may not be driving cars, but E.D. or not, I had a strong suspicion there might be some long haul trucking going on in their bedroom soon after I left.
"I think it's time for me to start back, guys. Peggy, will you turn me from a sleepy drunk into a wide awake one? Can I have a cup of coffee before I go?"
Frank answered for her. "Hey, I know this conversation went places it shouldn't. We didn't want to make you uncomfortable. We sure don't want you driving if you've been drinking. Why don't you stay, have another drink or two and then just stretch out on the sofa? It opens into a bed. We'll get you a blanket and pillow, you'll be comfortable and you can drive home sober tomorrow. Besides, won't it be neat if that ex slut wife of yours saw your car in our driveway in the morning? She always checks when we have company, so I'm sure she knows you're here now, and she'll wonder what we've been up to. And we'd let her wonder too, wouldn't we, Peggy?"
Peggy had a smile on her face. "You bet."
"I don't like playing games like that," I told them.
"It's not a game. You had a couple of drinks, you probably shouldn't drive. Crash out here. That other stuff is just a bonus."
It did make sense. "That sounds good, thanks. Peggy, hold the coffee. Another one of those Bombay martinis would make a great substitute."
I went to the bar to make another round of drinks. Frank excused himself, going toward the bathroom, and Peggy came by help. She speared olives. "Want more than one?" she asked, holding one towards me. I opened my mouth to take it in, and she, instead of being a good hostess, ate it herself. "Get your own."
"Tease," I replied, reaching for a toothpick, when she got in the way.
"That wasn't teasing," she said. She stepped closer, wrapped her arms around me, and I tasted olive flavored lips. "That was teasing." Olive flavored lips were a new treat and I liked it.
Peggy and Frank were always playful around me, so when he returned I said something about coming back too soon. "I guess so," he said with a grin. "If Peggy is putting the make on you I should get the cam corder, huh?"
It was Peggy who answered, still playfully. "Who knows, you may need it."
"You're all talk, woman," he said, and I agreed: "Yeah, Peggy. I don't think filming you kissing me is what he had in mind."
By then I had returned to the sofa and was enjoying quite a nice drink, grateful there wasn't a long drive waiting for me tonight. Peggy and Frank were by the bar with their drinks and having a quiet conversation. Then she put her glass down and left the room.
"She wants to get the stuff for the sofa for you before we forget," Frank said as he sat next to the fireplace. "So, you really didn't know about Lorraine screwing around, Joe?"
"I did not. I guess I trusted her more than I should have."
"Are you doing OK? Any girl friends, things like that?"
"Frank, I date a little, but it's way too soon for me to think about serious relationships. The honest answer is, I'm still rebounding. I wouldn't want to be married to Lorraine, but – well, you know, suddenly discovering things were a lot different than you thought shakes a guy's confidence."
"I can understand that," Frank agreed "She told Peggy that sex and lovemaking are different, but we thought Lorraine was going overboard with what she was doing. Can I ask, did you guys have good sex? Was there a problem? Lorraine told Peggy you were great in bed, but you were away a couple of days every week."
"I thought we were good together, Frank. That goes to show how much I knew." I raised my glass: "Water under the bridge."
Frank raised his glass too: "And to better tomorrows than yesterdays."
That's when Peggy came back, wearing a robe – she was wearing slacks and a blouse earlier – and carrying pillows and a blanket. She saw me notice. "Joe, I've been drinking too much, I'd rather change while I could instead of just falling into bed clothed. That's college kid stuff, and I'm way past that in life."
"A woman who thinks ahead," I agreed.
"Hey Frank, you caught me kissing Joe – did you like that?" she said, slurring her words just a little.
"I sure did. It made my, uh, erectile dysfunction thingy twitch a little."
The martinis had gone to my head, too. "Seeing your wife kissing a guy is a hell of a cure for that, Frank."
"Well, some little thing happened," he said. "Maybe the pictures I wanted you to take would have helped, Peggy. What do you think?"
"Who knows? You talked about it often enough. Maybe if Joe's willing, only for the sake of science, of course, we could try another kiss." She was by now sitting next to me. "Are you willing, Joe?"
"Hey, wait a minute, guys. Getting an olive flavored kiss before was fun, but. . ."
She leaned towards me, and her lips covered mine. They actually covered mine for what seemed like minutes.
"Oh, that's sexy, Peggy," Frank said. "Do more. Joe, that's a sexy woman beside you, are you just going to sit there?"
I was more than a little speechless. That kiss wasn't neighborly, she was an aggressive, open mouth probing tongue kisser. It took me by surprise, but to be fair, my own cock began to make its presence known, and there was nothing dysfunctional about it.
"Uh, Peggy. . ."
"Come on, Joe, kiss me back. Kiss me while I have the nerve to be kissed."
"Uh, Peggy. . ."
"Please?"
I looked at Frank wearing a big grin, then Peggy turned around a little so her back was against my legs, and leaned back across my lap until she was supported by my left arm.
"That's better, Joe" she said, sitting up a little, her arms around my neck, and the next kiss started.