I was standing at the window of my front room, looking out into the street and thoughtfully considering Karen. Let me tell you what I know about her.
She's nearly nineteen and she is a pixie. Put her in Santa's workshop and you will instantly believe that elves exist. She's petite, about five foot two, slender, short curly hair, an infectious smile and a bubbling personality. You can call me a male chauvinist pig if you like, but in my opinion she has a lovely pair of knockers and a really cute bottom. Sex on a stick covers her description quite nicely.
She is also Neil's putative girlfriend. Neil is my next door neighbour, and a grade-a arsehole in my humble opinion. Neil was bitching to me about Karen, yesterday. As far as he's concerned, if she's his girlfriend she should be putting out for him, and for some reason she has so far been able to withstand his manly charms and stay out of his bed.
This enforced celibacy was annoying Neil, and he was moaning that he thought she must be frigid. How else would she be able to withstand his manly charms? I thought his arrogantly obnoxious personality was probably a good reason, but you never can tell with women. He told me if she didn't come across soon, he was going to dump her.
That potential for dumping may explain why I was at the window of my front room, looking out into the street and thoughtfully considering Karen as she very busily trashed my car. It appeared that to go with all the nice things I said about her, she also had a hot temper.
I wandered outside and approached Karen. When I say wandered, I probably should say I nipped out quite smartly, hoping to stave off some damage.
Karen looked over at me as I approached and glared. She was furious, and my poor car was suffering accordingly.
"Don't you try to stop me," she snapped. "I'm teaching this arsehole a lesson he won't forget in a hurry."
"So I see," I said. "Do you think you could tell me, just as a matter of courtesy, what I, as the arsehole who owns that car, have done to offend you."
"That bastard is sleeping with Patsy, when he's supposed to be my boyfriend," she yelled at me. "He said I was frigid and probably wouldn't be any good in bed anyway. He said I...."
She stopped, as what I had said finally registered with her.
"Your car?" she said. Her face had gone from red with fury to white with shock, and for a moment I thought she was going to faint.
"My car," I told her again. "I know it looks the same as Neil's, but this particular car is mine."
"Oh. Ah..." Karen gulped and looked at the car, now thoroughly adorned with large splotches of variously coloured paints saying things that, while quite true of Neil, I didn't really want on my car.
"Oh, ah, indeed," I murmured. "If you've quite finished your playing you might like to step inside and we'll discuss this."
It was plain that Karen did not at all like the idea of stepping inside to discuss this. She swallowed nervously, looked at me, looked at the car, swallowed again, and then reluctantly let me usher her inside.
Once inside Karen turned and started talking, and some of the sympathy I had felt for her promptly departed when she told me it was my fault.
"Why did you have to buy a car the same as Neil's," she demanded. "If you hadn't done that it wouldn't have happened."
"Vice versa, actually," I said, "I brought my car first. Neil liked it and got one the same. Now why don't you explain what is going on, since I seem to be the target of all this hostility."
Karen was marching back and forth across the room. She was obviously feeling hard done by, and didn't think that my attitude was helping.
"It's all Neil's fault," she stated now. "He's the one you should be blaming."
"I see. It's odd. I didn't notice him out there, vandalising my car. Was he on the phone directing you, perhaps?"
"Oh, very funny," Karen snapped. "You're quite the comedian aren't you?"
"No," I snapped back. "I'm the guy who's car you were working over. Remember? Now why don't you take a big breath, hold it for a moment and catch your temper. Then you can explain what the hell you thought you were doing."
Karen stopped her pacing and gave me a killing look, but she was also starting to calm down a little. I could see the full realisation that she had screwed up was starting to sink in.
"Ever since I've been dating Neil he's been pressuring me to sleep with him but I didn't want to. Today he tried to make me and I thought for a few moments he was going to, but my parents came home and I was able to make him leave.
We then had a big argument and he called me a frigid little virgin who was too scared to have sex with a real man and that he was going to go and have a nice fuck with Patsy who didn't mind being a real woman. Apparently he's being sleeping with her for weeks and I never even suspected.
We finished up dumping each other, but he's a cheat and a liar and I'm not frigid. I just didn't want to sleep with him and the only thing I did wrong was not to see what a creep he really is."
"And how does my car get into the act?" I queried.
Karen blushed. "I'm sorry. I was so mad at him and the things he said that I just grabbed the paint cans from the shed and came over and started writing what I thought of him on his car. I'm not frigid and he's just a swine who needed a lesson."
"But still a virgin," I said, grinning as she blushed hotly. "And one with a hot temper it would seem. I'm surprised that it hasn't got you into trouble before."
"It nearly has," Karen admitted, suddenly all winsome charm. "I've had to talk fast a couple of times. But I truly am sorry," she added, laying her hand on my chest, and looking straight at me with a tear in her eye. "I don't know how to apologise or how to make it right, but I will try. I really have to learn to control my temper, I know, and I am working on it."
It was a masterful performance. I almost felt guilty about what I was going to do next. Unfortunately for Karen, this time she wasn't going to get away with it.
I looked pointedly out at my car. "And how much do you think it's going to cost to have the car resprayed I asked? Several thousand dollars?"
Karen paled at this. "Can't it just be cleaned off," she pleaded. "I'll be glad to help."
"I doubt it," I told her. "It'd probably be best if I just tossed it to the insurance company and let them worry about it. Trouble is, they'll expect me to inform the cops and they'll want to press charges and pass the cost on to you. You just may find this expensive."
Karen was really pale now. "I can't afford thousands for repainting," she gasped, "and you can't call the police. You'd get me into so much trouble."
"Not me, you," I pointed out quietly. "You landed yourself in this mess when you lost your temper. Do you have any other suggestions?"
Karen just stared at me, not knowing what to say.
"I'll make a deal with you," I said. I held up my hand when she seemed about to protest. "Wait for it," I told her.
"I will see if I can remove the paint myself. If you're lucky, a cut and polish, after I've removed the bulk of the crap, may serve. However, you are not, and I mean NOT, going to get away scot free by flashing your lovely smile and turning on the charm. What you are going to do is go across my knee and get your pretty little tush soundly spanked until it's glowing like a stop light."
Karen went blank faced. I don't know what she had expected me to propose (but I could take a good guess) but a spanking hadn't been on her short list.
She sat down abruptly. "You not really going to spank me, are you?" she pleaded.
I nodded. "Maybe," I pointed out, "it will help you control your temper the next time you're tempted to do something rash. And before you say OK, assuming that I won't be too hard on you, I should point out that I'll be spanking you naked. Just to make sure you get the message that I'm really annoyed with you.
That is you naked, not me," I added.
Karen shook her head. "I can't," she whispered.
"That's OK," I assured her. "It has to be your choice. I'll just go and call the cops to come and check out the scene and get a report number for the insurance. Are you going to stick around until they get here or would you rather leave now and see them when they come round to speak to you?"
I stood up, indicating the way to the door.
Karen bounced to her feet. "Wait!" she said. "I didn't mean I wouldn't take the spanking. Just that I can't do it naked."
I shrugged, apparently indifferent to her answer. "Like I said, your choice. If you can't agree, you can't."
She looked at me with puppy dog eyes, tears welling slowly. It was amazingly effective. It was designed to melt the hardest heart, guaranteed to earn instant forgiveness for the little girl who was so patently sorry for screwing up.
I laughed. "Nice try, but no dice," I said. "What's it going to be."
The tears vanished instantly and the temper was again showing. Apparently I was a miserable, hard-hearted bastard, and it served me right that my car had been painted. If she'd know how mean I was she'd have started working on it with a hatchet.
"You are not helping your case, you know," I observed. Although I spoke softly my words cut through her tirade like a knife and she just shut up and stood there breathing hard.
I shrugged and started moving to the door and her nerve snapped.
"All right," she snapped. "I'll take the spanking. I can't get into trouble with the police. My parents would kill me."
"And you can't afford to pay for the damages, either. Am I right?"
Karen nodded sullenly. "What now?"
I sat comfortably on my couch and looked up at her. "I assume that you would prefer to take your own clothes off," I murmured. "You can stack them on that chair and then come here."
"It'll be a cold day in hell before I let you take my clothes off," I heard her muttering under her breath, as she turned away from me to start undressing.