When Dave wired a phone in the bathroom he thought it was cool and convenient. I guess it was a good idea because none of this would have happened without it.
Dave and Amy were my next-door neighbors of fifteen years. When they first moved in I always enjoyed watching her mow the grass wearing short shorts and a bikini top. Over the years we all got to know each other pretty well in the neighborhood. Many random, drunken parties left no-one without some embarrassing incident that the others would be happy to recount at length.
Dave was a regular looking guy with a regular body, a reasonable sense of humor and enough sense to listen to his wife on matters of style. He was near-perfect, middle-class, husband material and I liked him.
But naturally, Amy was much more interesting to me. She had the near-perfect-middle-class wife thing worked out years ago but topped it off with a mild-wild streak, a slightly dirty sense of humor, and occasional drunken party blowouts. She had shoulder-length blonde hair, a pretty middle-class face, and small breasts.
Back in her mowing days, before their two kids came along, I lusted over her shapely legs, tight ass, and lovely bikini-clad torso, and small breasts never bothered me. Naturally, over the years, she gained weight. Her ass went from tight to "normal", her legs went from shapely to slightly plump but her torso remained taut and her tits remained small. Finally, at the time of this story, she seemed a little fat to me. Still hot, still pretty and far from gross, but a little fat, when unkindly compared to her younger days.
Dave and Amy had a beautiful yard and house. They both worked hard in the yard and artistic Amy did an amazing job on the interior and Dave brought home enough bacon to feed all the assorted tradesmen that her projects required. Then Dave lost his job (or so another nosey neighbor had gleefully informed me).
Over the next few weeks I saw Dave at home a lot more than usual, working on various projects. One spring day I chatted to him over the fence while he was surrounded by sawhorses and a pile of substantial-looking wooden beams. He told me he was finishing up a remodel of their bathroom and was installing the beams he'd acquired from a local farmer to complete the "country" theme that Amy was "demanding". He explained the difficulties he'd had attaching the heavy timbers to his ceiling but he'd worked out a combination of "skew nailing" and constructive adhesive that had solved the problem. Not really knowing his skill levels and abilities I simply nodded appreciatively and went about my life.
Several weeks later I was working in the yard when I saw Amy in her's. When she waved I stopped the mower and walked up to her fence for a chat. I have no idea what we talked about but I have a clear recollection of the dress she was wearing. It was conservative in length, style, color and pattern yet the top was gathered tightly across her small tits. My cock, who had been bored with mowing, awoke and began to pay attention. He began an insistent chant: "Look down at her tits, check out her nipples, look down at her tits...". Mightily resisting his demands didn't lend itself to much stimulating conversation so I excused myself and finished the lawn while my cock sulked.
I hit the shower as soon as I got inside. My bathroom window overlooks Dave and Amy's backyard and little else so I never close the blinds in daytime or at night. Today, as I began to shower, I saw Amy cross her lawn to her shed and then shortly return to her house. This ensured it was her turn to be the object of my showertime fantasies as I recalled the look of her little titties in that weird dress. I thought of following her to that shed, bending her over, lifting her dress, and groping her little titties from behind. Imagine my surprise, she isn't wearing panties! I was stroking my cock like crazy and my imaginary tip had just entered her fat imaginary little pussy when my phone rang.
I too have a phone in my bathroom. I work most of the time at home and Murphy's Law dictates that the urgency and importance of phone calls is directly proportional to the inconvenience of the current bathroom activity. The spoken caller ID told me the number: this was work and it was important. Torn, still hard, from my Amy fantasy, I cursed and dripped my way to the phone. Forty minutes later I was seated at my desk in a robe and the crisis was over when my phone rang again. Thinking the crisis was back I answered quickly but it was Amy and she was crying.
"Oh Thomas", she wailed, "I'm stuck and I need your help."
She launched into a nonsensical tale between sobs and it took me some time to calm her down. I was grabbing my nearest clothes - a t-shirt and a pair of fleecy lounge pants:
"I'm coming Amy, just calm down and tell me what you need."
"I'm trapped in the bath..." wailing... "I'm stuck and I can't get out..." thirty seconds of sobbing... "the back door is open but..."
"I'm coming. What is it Amy?"
There was only sobbing on the line. I had struggled into my clothes and stepped into my slippers. Amy's voice switched from panic to urgent determination:
"I can't believe I was so stupid! This is what happens to me! Thomas, you have to help me no matter what. Dave and the kids will be home in an hour and no matter what you think of me it will be better than them finding me like this. Come to my house, come up to the bathroom, and I'll fucking kill you if you say a fucking word!"
I was speechless. Her words swam around my brain looking for some logical place to reside. My forgotten dick immediately jumped in my pants as he matched the words "Amy", "bath", and "secret" to whole perverted set of illogical scenarios. With the phone to my ear I ran to her yard gate, across the patio to her back door:
"I'm at your back door." I told her. "Hurry" she said. "Back door Amy", said my cock.
I strode through the house and up the stairs. I'd never been up here before and didn't know the layout but I could hear running water from the partly open door to my right.
"I'm right here", I said.
"Thomas, I'm so sorry!" she wailed into both my free ear and my phone ear.
I ended the call and quickly but gingerly pushed open the door. It struck something solid and stopped at the halfway point. I stuck my head in the opening and I gasped at the sight before me. The entire beam construction had ripped from the ceiling. The four heavy timbers and the six crossbeams had remained attached to each other. The far left corner was the highest point where it had struck and damaged the sink. Nearer me, the toilet had taken the hit and a big beam at waist level was obstructing the door. But, on the right, the wreckage was at its lowest point and there lay Amy, face down in the tub, with a solid, 100lb beam lying along her naked back. The shower was still running.
"Fucking hell, Amy, are you alright?" But she just began to sob loudly.
I'm at my best in a crisis and a purposeful calm came over me. I pushed hard on the door and with effort I managed to squeeze my body into the room. I stepped over the fallen grid and made my way to her side. The heavy beam rested on the far end of the tub, pushing her head below the rim while the other end was actually in the tub, resting on her ass.
I reached to stop the water and I'm sure I audibly gasped when I took in the large purple dildo attached to the wall by its suction cup.
I was relieved to see that there was no blood in the water but, as it began to drain, it revealed yet another source of her shame: saved from its watery grave, a sleek silver vibrator began to dance and buzz on the enamel floor of the tub between her ankles.
I grabbed the vibrator, twisted it off at its base and set it aside on the floor. I took the phone from her hand and hit "Off". I put my hand on her bare shoulder and tried to find something to say: "Oh my god, Amy. are you hurt?"
Her wails had gone and her sobs were receding. Then that urgent, no-nonsense tone returned to her voice: "God, thank you Thomas, I'm so stupid... you've got to help me before Dave gets here... look, you know what I was fucking doing when that fucking stupid roof fell on top of me. It hit the shower curtain which stopped it from fucking killing me but, as that gave way, it pushed me down here and I can't fucking move! Thank god it knocked the stupid phone down beside the tub."
