Ren - Shades of Grey

The start of this story runs concurrently with the series Stolen and then carries on afterwards. It deals with Ren's thoughts and feelings when he has to say goodbye to Sky.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ren lay on a sleeping bag spread out over a thick layer of straw, he was supposed to be trying to sleep but the feel of Sky's body pressed against his side was keeping him awake. As he lay there holding her against him his mind kept going over the events of the last night.

He could still remember his fear and horror when he had first seen the abandoned panel van on the side of the road. The drivers side panels had been smashed in by a sideswipe collision and he had searched the vehicle for any sign that Sky had been in the vehicle when it had been hit. There had been no sign of blood and Brad had found the leaked oil under the vehicle and they had concluded that the van might have been abandoned because the motor seized up.

Sky sighed in her sleep and snuggled closer, Ren began stroking her back soothingly with one hand. He wanted her to remain asleep so he could continue to hold her. Holding her eased the terrible ache that had started in his chest the moment Matty had told him she had ran away.

Ren was still awake when Sky lifted her head and glanced at him before looking away quickly.

"Do you need to go to the toilet?" Ren asked her after she rested her head on his shoulder once more.

"Yes." Sky replied.

"We'll go for a walk then," Ren said quietly and Sky sat up.

Ren got to his feet and reached a hand down for Sky. She looked up at him and he could see her uncertainty and fear as he pulled her to her feet.

"Come on." Ren said. He didn't release her hand and Sky tugged at it as she followed him from the shed. Ren glanced over his shoulder at her and Sky glanced down towards her hand.

"I won't try to run away," Sky said softly.

"Maybe I just like holding your hand." Ren said, his voice gruff with suppressed emotion.

Outside Ren released her hand near a tree and moved several steps away to afford her some privacy as he tended to his own needs.

Back inside the shed they washed their hands with a bottle of water out of the vehicle.

"You hungry?" Ren asked.

"Yes." Sky answered.

"Hey Brad! We're going to eat." Ren called to his friend.

"Why did you run away?" Ren asked Sky evenly.

"I want to go home." Sky answered softly.

"Did I do something to upset you? Something to make you want to get away from me?" Ren asked. He wanted to know what he had done to make her want to get away.

"I want to be with my family." Sky said with a trace of desperation.

"Are you scared of me Sky?" Ren asked.

"You bought me from Hawk! You're gonna ... you make me do things I don't want to!" Sky said as she moved several steps away from him uneasily.

"But I haven't forced you to do anything with me, have I?" Ren asked patiently even though he wanted to growl with frustration as she watched him fearfully.

"There's no way I can stop you touching me," Sky said uneasily and backed several steps further away from him.

"Sky, there hasn't been a night that I have laid beside you that I haven't wanted to fuck you. And there hasn't been once I acted on that except that night in the van and you wanted me to that night." Ren explained trying to show her she could trust him.

"You were doing things to me! You made me want you to!" Sky accused.

"That's the way making love works." Ren told her.

"You took advantage of me!" Sky accused.

"I only meant to comfort you because you were upset. Things kind of got out of hand from there."

She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself as she paced backwards and forwards.

"Look come and eat. It's not much, just sandwiches and fruit with some soda but I know I am sure starved." Ren said as he got a bag out of the front of the vehicle.

Sky paused in her pacing to look at him.

Ren pulled out a wrapped sandwich and opened it. He held out a half towards Sky. "Cheese and tomato."

"Let me have a look at what's in the bag. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Brad exclaimed as he walked towards them.

Sky turned to watch him warily, but he ignored her as he walked to the vehicle and helped himself to a packaged sandwich.

"Come on Sky. Come have something to eat," Ren coaxed.

Sky eyed him for nearly a minute then slowly walked over to take the piece of sandwich he was offering her. She bit into it hungrily and chewed it eagerly.

"Let's go and sit down to eat," Ren coaxed.

Ren walked over to the sleeping bag and sat down with his back against an old drum. He reached into the bag and helped himself to another sandwich. Sky approached cautiously and Ren patted the ground in between his thighs, Sky watched him for a few moments before sitting down between his knees.

"Help yourself to more to eat." Ren told her as he leant forward to get another sandwich. He felt his chest press against her back as he delved into the bag again and she leaned back into his body. Gently Ren slipped his arm around her body just below her ribs and pulled her back to nestle against his chest.

Ren leant forward and pressed a light kiss on the side of Sky's neck when Brad had left the shed. She flinched but turned her head slowly to look back over her shoulder at him. Ren moved his head forward to kiss her lips lightly; she tasted faintly of pickles and cheese.

Sky blinked dazedly as she turned back around and continued eating. She turned her head to watch as Ren got up and got them a drink each. She accepted the can he handed her. Ren sat down beside her and opened his can of drink so he could take a deep drink.

"Had enough to eat?" Ren asked.

"Yes thank you." Sky said as she opened her own drink.

Ren hooked his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to press a quick kiss on her forehead.

Sky looked at him startled and gave a shy smile as she lowered her gaze. Sky allowed him to cuddle her to his side. When he stretched out on his back once again Sky lay down beside him, rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes once again.

"You're not going to go to sleep on me there are you?" Ren asked when he noticed she had her eyes closed.

Sky murmured sleepily and Ren rolled towards her with a chuckle.

"Come on, wake up sleepy head." Ren growled as he nuzzled into her neck.

"That tickles!" Sky protested with a giggle.

Ren growled and made loud noises as he playfully blew raspberries against her neck.

Sky squealed and giggled as she wriggled against him. Ren raised his head and looked down at her. She lay on her back as she opened her eyes to look up at him. Ren studied her face as he slowly lowered his head. His lips met hers and he began to kiss her softly and lightly, Ren deepened the kiss as Sky's lips parted beneath his and she began to respond to him. He slid a hand down her side and cupped the top of her hip before running his hand across her back and pulling her hips against his.

She pressed against him and arched into his body. She moved his hand up to cup one aching breast and moaned with pleasure into his mouth as his fingers found her nipple through her top.

Ren moved his hand down impatiently and pushed it up under her top. Finding her bra he slid his hand around her back and unfastened her bra before pushing the cups from her breasts. He rolled one hard nipple between his fingers and she moaned into his mouth as she arched into his body. Ren thrust a leg between her thighs then trailed his lips down her throat and then to her breast to close over her nipple as he suckled strongly.

"Do you like that?" Ren asked trying to find out what bought her pleasure.

"That feels good," Sky admitted. Ren switched his attentions to her other breast.

Ren smoothed his hand over her stomach as he moved from one breast to the other then back again. He slid his hand down over her jeans to cup her crotch through the material and groaned against her breast as she pushed her hips against his hand. Ren rocked his palm against the moist heat he could feel through her jeans and Sky whimpered with pleasure as she clutched his head to her breast.

Ren suckled at her breast until she was whimpering in frustration as she pushed against his shoulders until he raised his head reluctantly. Sky reached down and pulled her top and bra up and off over her head before resting her hands on her jeans waistband.

Ren brushed her hands aside and unfastened her jeans. He kept eye contact as he slid his hand down her jeans and into her underwear. Sky gasped and opened her legs wider as his fingers found the slick folds of her womanhood. He slipped one finger into her wet passage and Sky moaned as he began to slowly finger fuck her, his thumb finding the hard nubbin of her clit.

"Ren!" Sky gasped as her hips moved beneath his hand.

"What sweetheart?" Ren murmured against her lips as he kissed her lightly.

Sky gasped and clutched at his shoulders, she ran a hand down his arm to his hand where he played between her thighs. Finally she slid her hand down the front of his body and caressed his hard length through his jeans.

Ren buried his face against her neck as he groaned. He could feel her growing moisture beneath his fingers. He turned his head to nibble her earlobe and flicked his tongue into the shell of her ear.

"Please Ren! Please!" Sky whimpered as she moved against his body.

"What Blondie?" Ren asked his voice husky with passion.

"Please! It's not enough!" Sky whimpered as she moved against him desperately.

Ren hesitated a moment then he pushed the jeans from her hips and legs before he pushed his jeans down baring his hips and moved between her splayed thighs. He lowered his head and kissed her hard; Sky wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him back hungrily.

Sky gasped and jerked away from his kiss as he slid deep into her slick passage. She was so wet he slid in full length with no resistance.

"That hurts!" Sky gasped startled even as pleasure began to replace the momentary pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Ren groaned as he forced himself to hold still. "Do you want me to stop? I'll stop if it you want."

Sky was unable to hold still and she began moving her hips beneath him. Realising Sky was enjoying it and he wasn't hurting her Ren began moving gently against her. He caught her lips in a hot tongue-thrusting kiss.

Ren forced himself to keep his movements gentle even though his body screamed for him to take her hard and fast. He was aware of the fact that her body was probably not healed properly and he didn't want to hurt her.

Ren felt the first flutters of her internal muscles as she pulled her legs up and hooked her heels behind his thighs and he began moving faster. She began making soft sounds of pleasure as she clutched his shoulders and moved desperately against him; she pressed her mouth against his shoulder and squealed with pleasure.

Ren slowed his movements to slow gentle thrusts, he could feel his own release close but he was determined to control it. Slowly his movements became stronger as Sky began moving with him once again. His movements increased in speed until he was thrusting against her hard as she moved eagerly against him.

Ren felt his own orgasm swell in his balls and rush through his entire body until his release flowed out into Sky's soft warm body. When his breathing and heartbeat had returned to normal he gently eased from Sky's body.

Sky rolled away from Ren and curled up into a little ball.

"Sky? Are you okay Blondie? I didn't hurt you did I?" Ren asked softly as he rolled her onto her back so he could see her face. The look of pain and desolation in her eyes warned him something was terribly wrong.

"Just leave me alone," Sky said miserably.

"Hey now Sky. What's the matter?" Ren asked softly in concern as he sat up to look at her with a worried frown.

"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you!" Sky said and tried to roll away as tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

"Come on Blondie. Everything will be okay." Ren said soothingly as he pulled her into his arms.

Sky struggled as she tried to escape his grasp but Ren pulled her into his arms easily. Finally she stopped fighting and glared into his face.

"Okay? Nothing will ever be okay for me again! I'm never going to see my family again! You're going to fuck me when ever you please and then you'll whore me out to who ever has the money!" Sky exclaimed heatedly before breaking down into harsh sobs.

His heart seemed to stop beating for an instant at her words before restarting at a tremendous pace.

"Whore you out? What the hell does that mean?" Ren demanded angrily in disbelief.

"Hawk told me how you get your money! How you'll sell me to men as a whore! I just want to go home!" Sky cried and attempted to pull away from him.

"Hawk told you?" Ren demanded tightly.

"Yes Hawk told me how you'd make lots of money off me!" Sky sobbed and twisted away from him.

Ren watched as Sky sobbed against the sleeping bag beneath her. Her accusations hurt but what hurt more was the fact that she clearly believed what Hawk had told her. Ren pulled his jeans up silently and got to his feet. He walked away from Sky not trusting himself to refrain from shaking some sense into her.

He wanted to reassure her that he was not going to sell her to other men, that there was no way he would let another man touch her. But he doubted that he could talk to her calmly at this time. The fact she believed Hawk, that she could believe what she had been told ... It hurt. Also there was a growing anger that she believed Hawk, after the way he had mistreated her while he himself had always treated her kindly.

Ren paced the edge of the shed until he calmed down enough to be able to talk to Sky without letting his anger show. He walked back over to where Sky lay on the sleeping bag. She turned her head to see who it was and sat up cautiously as she saw it was Ren.

"Sky, do you believe what Hawk said I would do with you?" Ren asked tightly.

Sky didn't answer; she didn't know what he wanted her to say so she remained silent.

Finally Ren groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face. He watched Sky's averted profile for several minutes until he accepted that she wasn't going to answer him.

Ren could feel his control slipping so he turned and headed over to the vehicle. Why had Hawk told her those lies? Ren wondered. They were aimed at him, for some reason Hawk had wanted to come between them. And he was succeeding. Ren could think of no reason for Hawk to want to get at him through Sky.

* * * * *

"So help me God, I think I love you." Ren whispered softly to himself. Ren had made love to Sky for a second time that day and he had recognised the strange feelings whirling around inside him with a jolt. The knowledge was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Sky opened her eyes as what Ren said reached her ears.

"What did you just say?" She asked quietly.

Ren was startled as he realised he had spoken aloud and not only was she awake, she had heard him. He had yet to come to terms with his newfound feelings and he knew she was nowhere near ready to hear the words.

"Nothing. It's not important." Ren muttered. "I was talking to myself."

Sky pulled away from him and reached for her clothes.

"Sky?" Ren questioned her sudden withdrawal.

"You said you think you love me!" Sky exclaimed with disbelief as she got to her feet to pull her jeans on. "You don't know the meaning of the word Love! If you cared about me one little bit you wouldn't be treating me like you do. You're no better than Hawk! Your keeping me against my will and you never stopped him from hurting me!" Sky declared angrily as she pulled her jeans on and reached for her top.

Ren sat up and reached for his own jeans as anger boiled through him. "I know what I said and I meant what I said. And don't you ever compare me to Hawk again!" Ren told her angrily as he got to his feet.

Sky backed away out of reach as she regarded him cautiously. He picked up his shirt and shook it before pulling it on.

"If you cared about me in the least you wouldn't keep me against my will! And Hawk would never have said what he did unless that is what he believed you would do!" Sky accused.

"Right! I have had enough! You shut up about the shit Hawk told you here and now! Do not mention it ever again!" Ren roared angrily as he took a step towards her.

Sky back-pedalled hastily and eyed him fearfully. When he advanced with a hard look on his face she turned and ran for the opening of the shed.

Ren caught Sky before she made it halfway to outside the shed. She struggled as he turned her around in his arms to face him.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Sky sobbed as she continued to struggle ineffectively.

"Shut the hell up!" Ren roared and Sky froze in his grasp. Slowly she lifted her eyes to look at his face and saw the rage in his eyes.

"I am going to let you go. You are going to go back and sit on the sleeping bag," Ren told her in a barely controlled tone and released her. Pain from her words making him want to lash out at someone, anyone but he refused to give in to the impulse.

Fearing the anger in his eyes Sky backed away several steps then turned and hurried to do as he had ordered. She kept flicking nervous glances his way as he paced between the vehicle and the outside sunlight.

Anger and pain vied for control of his mind as Sky's last words echoed in his head and in his heart. After several minutes Ren managed to control the emotions boiling within him and he walked over to where Sky sat watching nervously and squatted so that he was on eye level with her.

"How do I convince you I am not the bad guy here? What do I have to do to make you believe me when I say I won't hurt you?" Ren asked tightly. He feared what her answer would be.

"I just want to go home." Sky said as tears welled in her eyes.

Her voice sounded so broken hearted to Ren's ears as he closed his eyes and lowered his head. There was nothing for it he realised as something twisted painfully in his chest. In her eyes he would be continuing her abduction, taking over where Hawk had left off. Slowly he raised his head to look at her, her shoulders were shaking and tears ran down her cheeks as she cried silently, her face averted. And suddenly he realised that as much as he hurt from her telling him she hated him it hurt worse to see her pain and there was only one way to stop her hurting.

* * * * *

Ren watched as Sky climbed on the bus and made her way towards the rear of the bus. He saw her take a seat about three quarters of the way down the bus and look out the window as the bus began to pull away. He had the impression she raised a hand as if to wave but it was hard to see inside the bus as it gathered speed and pulled onto the highway.

Sky was gone. He had sent her home to her family. Something twisted painfully in his chest and tore free with a stab of white-hot pain as he realised he would probably never see her again. But at least she had the chance to be happy once again, and that was what really mattered to him.

Finally he turned to his bike and put on his helmet and gloves. Where did he go from here?

He started his bike and turned onto the highway heading in the opposite direction to what the bus had taken. As he rode he tried to shut thoughts of Sky from his mind, he needed to put her behind him and get on with the here and now of living.

Three hours later he pulled into the parking lot of a small pub and got off his bike before heading inside. Before he got on with his life he intended to get filthy drunk.

Another two and a half hours and much bourbon and coke later Ren was feeling no pain as he looked at the world through the bottom of his glass and drained the last of his drink. He blinked as he lowered his glass trying to clear his blurry vision, he could have sworn he had seen Jody. But this was not the pub she worked in; it was up the other end of town, wasn't it?