Reindled

It had been so long since she had felt wanted—so long since she had really wanted someone else, but now she couldn't even begin to hold back the feelings she was having. Her only regret was that these feelings were for someone in the past—so far in the past that she felt there was no turning back:

Everything had started three years before, her freshman year in college. She had met the most wonderful man, Paul. Originally she saw him only as a friend, but that lasted little more than a few hours upon their first actual meeting. He took her, as friends, to a show at a little club nearby. He explained to her that he didn't date people younger than him, only those who were older than him—he was five years her senior. They were dancing at the show that night when Paul tugged on her hair. He was the first person to ever do this and she couldn't have described the pleasure if she had tried. She was immediately hooked on his dominant nature. When they got back to her room, everything he had said about being just friends went out the window when he kissed her, and then kept kissing her.

Upon leaving the dorm she asked him, "I thought you weren't interested in girls younger than you?"

His answer was, "I wasn't," and he smiled.

From that point on began their friends with benefits situation. At first she found this to be very fulfilling. She hadn't had many sexual encounters before Paul, but he was by far the best. From the first night he had kissed her, something had been different. His way of kissing was unique and that alone was enough to turn her on without him touching her at all. She loved the hair pulling and ass smacking sex. He was gentle enough that she was never concerned and always felt at ease with Paul, but just rough enough that she was going nuts when she wasn't having sex with him.

But as is the case with many young women and their friends with benefits, she started to have feelings for Paul, something that Paul had told her from the very beginning was not possible. For a while after she told him she had feelings for him they didn't talk, but just a short while. She wanted the sex, but more so wanted to be around him, so she said she was okay with just being friends with benefits. Deep down it was killing her. Eventually it became too much for her and an argument ensued. From that point on, they didn't talk for over a year, until she emailed him.

She had never emailed him directly before, their only communication was by AIM, but when she logged into her forgotten LiveJournal, she saw he had a new email address posted. She hadn't signed on to the LJ since she stopped talking to him and she was torn. In the time they hadn't been talking, she had many sexual encounters. She had become more willing to try friends with benefits, but deep down, she always wanted that extra connection. After seeing his email address, she felt like she had to contact him, but wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, or even if it was an okay thing to do. Things had ended on bad terms between them, but she wondered how he was and if he was even still living in the same town. So she sent an email, short and sweet. She told him that she didn't want to cause any problems, but that she just wanted to check in and say hello. She figured he wouldn't respond, but she wanted him too badly. At least this way he would know she was still thinking about him.

The next day she had an email from him. Surprisingly, very surprisingly, he said he had been thinking about her as well. Apparently he and a friend recently had a conversation about sex and sex partners during which Paul made a mental list of the good and the bad.

"Don't worry, you were on the good," he assured her.

She was upset for a bit that he had talked to someone else about having sex with her, but then she realized how many people she had talked to about how amazing he was in bed. They started gradually chatting, it was worth trying to at least be friends. During this point he told her that he had grown up a bit, realized that he eventually wanted to settle down. Could this possibly be the same Paul? After a few weeks she invited him over for brunch to which he accepted; he never came. Yep, same Paul.

The next week she met a guy, a guy who seemed wonderful at first. She dated this guy for over a year. During that time she continued to talk to Paul and was always tempted by him, but she never went any further than talking to him as a friend. Over the summer that year she and her boyfriend had a fight, a big fight. That night she went out for drinks with some friends and ended up texting Paul. The bar was called The Cellar and since Paul lived nearby, she assumed he would know the place.

"You should come to the cellar," she texted him.

A bit later, after they had left the bar, she got a text in response, "Is that a bar, or are you actually waiting for me in my cellar."

She thought it was hilarious at the time, but the next morning she couldn't help but wonder why she had asked him to come. What was it she would have said or done?

A few times after that Paul made comments like, "It's too bad you have a boyfriend" and "we had some great sex didn't we?"

It was getting to be too much for her, but the attention was nice. It seemed like her boyfriend never gave her attention and he sure wasn't as good as Paul in bed. She never really enjoyed sex with her boyfriend, but she loved him, so she stayed with him and never cheated. Just the same, she didn't feel fulfilled in her relationship; she felt abandoned and alone most of the time, definitely not wanted or desired the way Paul had made her feel, and she definitely wasn't comfortable about her body around her boyfriend, even after a year of dating. She should have known something was wrong, but she stuck with him.

Just shy of 15 months together, she broke up with her boyfriend. Turned out that he was the vainest son of a bitch around and he didn't think she was pretty enough for him. He said that he was embarrassed to be with her in public and that's why he didn't have any friends anymore. She was crushed, but soon realized that she had known for some time that it wasn't going to work and it was all a big weight lifted off of her shoulders.

Soon she started talking to Paul more frequently. The more she talked to him, the more she wanted him. She went back to her hometown for a few weeks after the breakup, but Paul said he wanted to get a drink with her when she got back. She couldn't wait, but she wasn't sure if this was right. Was it okay to want to go out for a drink with an old flame that soon after a breakup? At this point she wasn't sure what would happen when they got a drink. After all, she hadn't been single for very long and had been very devoted to her boyfriend. Was she ready to have sex with someone else? Was it safe for her emotionally to have rebound sex? She struggled with this the entire time she was away from college for those few weeks.

As her return flight drew nearer, the more convinced she was that she wanted Paul more than ever. She told him in a text that she had been sexually frustrated in her relationship and hadn't found pleasure in the act in a long time. His response made her want to get on a plane as soon as possible.

"After our drink I'll have to pin you down and fix that."

She wanted him. Bad.

Her mind was soon flooded with memories of their times together. Things she hadn't thought about since the time that they happened were suddenly in the forefront of her mind. She couldn't think of much else but the sex with Paul, but she knew she would never make it as just friends with benefits, she had changed, but not that much. She made the decision that she would try it, just for now, even though she knew it wouldn't last. She knew the feelings would come back, and she knew they would come quickly, but she wanted to enjoy the sex at least a little before this happened, so she decided to go for it. She figured that when she started having feelings for her, she would tell him, which would inevitably lead to another argument and not speaking again, but that was fine, she was graduating in the spring, at least that's what she tried to tell herself.

Even though she wasn't seeing him until the week after she got back to college, she was nervous for the entire flight. Just thinking about him turned her on, even when she wasn't thinking about sex. She hoped she could get through this without spoiling everything with her emotions too soon, but she could already tell that her feelings for Paul had never gone away in the first place.

Once back at school, things fell into a routine pretty quickly. Although she wasn't taking classes over the summer (she was working) she was pretty well distracted—until Paul sent her a message. "Tonight?" was all it said.

So she sent her response, "Where do you want to go?"

When she hit send her hands were shaking. She felt like a child. Why on earth was she this nervous, or maybe she was just anxious? He made her wait for his response. Finally, she heard the message alert and opened her phone.

"I'll meet you in the square and we'll go to a bar. Meet me around 7."

And with that, it was happening.

When she saw him waiting for her by the newsstand, her heart jumped into her throat. She had forgotten just how attractive he was. She walked toward him, but it felt like her feet wouldn't move at all. Was she really going to have a second chance at being with him? He couldn't understand why she was walking so slowly. Maybe she wasn't walking slowly after all, but it sure seemed that way.

The closer she got, the longer it seemed to be taking her to get to him. He had already forgotten that they were supposed to go to a bar because he wanted to go straight to his house. He knew that if he wanted to do this right though, he needed to take it slowly, at least slower than he wanted to.

She finally stepped near him and he reached out to her for a hug. It felt so good for the two of them to touch each other and they knew at once that the chemistry was still there. When they finally let go, her head was spinning, his dick was rising, and they both needed a drink.

At the bar he ordered them a round of shots and they got to work catching up. They hadn't actually seen each other in over a year; all of their communication had been by email and instant messaging. She had missed hearing his voice. Both of them wanted things to be just right, but everything was wrong. The bar was nearly empty and, although they were having a great time catching up, they both figured they could do just as well elsewhere. So he suggested they go to his house. Her heart skipped a beat, but she agreed before she knew what she was doing, so they set out walking.

She hadn't been to his new place, only his old place a few years ago, so she could do nothing but let him lead the way. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do. He didn't know whether or not they should actually continue their conversation once they got to his place or whether he was going to lose control over what he was feeling. When they got to his place, both of them were having trouble breathing, not because of the walk, but because they were both anxious for what awaited.

No sooner had they walked through the door than he had pinned her against the wall. Neither of them had realized how much they wanted each other until they were alone in the house. As he leaned harder and harder into her body, she felt like she was going to explode with passion. His kiss was the same as it had been years ago and it made her want to melt. She felt his hands on her body and he could feel her hands in his hair. She loved his hair.

They made their way closer to the bedroom and she didn't know if they were even going to make it that far. She hadn't felt passion like this in a very long time. She wished she knew what he was thinking, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was this moment.

She pulled her shirt over her head and started kissing him again. He held onto her bottom lip with his teeth and she couldn't help but smile. He leaned into her during their kiss enough to push her onto the bed. She moved backward slightly, but before she could rise up, he was on top of her, his hands on her chest. She longed for him to never stop touching her, she could feel the heat of his hands and it felt like he was on fire. He pulled his shirt over his head and started kissing her neck. At that point, she was gone.

If she had any reservations about whether this was right, they were gone now. Nothing felt as good as when he did this, and no other man had been able to make her feel this way. She groaned and squirmed, overcome with her desire. She breathed hard and held onto his shoulders. The longer he stayed kissing her neck, the more she moaned and groaned. Her bra was off in no time and his mouth made its way further down her body to her right nipple. Her hands moved from his shoulders to his hair again. As his tongue slid across her nipple, what felt like a bolt of electricity went through her entire body. She was literally aching for him from the inside. Her pussy was throbbing. She had never felt passion like this, but she didn't want to rush it, she didn't want it to be over. She never wanted it to be over. He moved his mouth over to her other nipple and sucked on it hard. Then he licked it sucked it again, more gently this time.

He lifted his head and smiled playfully at her. All she could do was continue to pant. He edged down a bit and kissed her hip. Then he started unbuttoning her jeans. Her pussy ached more the closer he got to it. When his hand brushed the top of her panties, another bolt went through her body. She took over with taking her pants off and he moved on to his own. She stood to slide hers off and when he was finished undressing himself he pulled her down for a kiss, by her hair. He was the only person who could pull her hair just right. If anyone else had tried, she probably would have decked him, but from the first night they had met, she loved it when he pulled her hair. She could feel his hard dick pressing against her skin as she kissed him and longed to have it inside her. She reached down to grab him in her hands and began slowly rubbing his dick. Feeling him in her hands made her want him more, so she lowered her head to his lap and slid her mouth over his dick. She slid her tongue down his shaft and couldn't have been more pleased when she felt his hands in her hair, pulling—not too hard, just right, the way only he could do it. He pulled her by the hair directing her mouth up and down on his dick. She. She didn't want him to come yet, because she wanted more.

When she lifted her head, her mouth came off of his dick with a pop. This time it was she who smiled playfully. She took her tongue and slid it the length of his dick, then took it in her mouth again and turned her eyes up toward him with a look that meant she would be smiling if her mouth weren't occupied. With this he took no time to roll her over onto her back. He slid a finger into her hot, wet pussy and a soft moan escaped her mouth. When he put the second inside her, the moan was louder and more urgent. As he sat there, fingering her pussy until it was nearly dripping wet, she was gripping the blankets hard, wanting him inside her. When she could feel his breath on her pussy, another electric shock went through her body, straight to her pussy. She was aching even harder and when his tongue touched her clit, she let out a loud, guttural moan. He added a third finger to her pussy and fingered her hard. Every time his tongue passed over her clit, her hips bucked slightly. She wanted his dick inside her, she needed his dick inside her.

"Fuck me, please. Oh fuck me," she managed to get out between breaths.

No sooner had she said the words than she felt his dick sliding into her. He stopped with just the tip, teasing her, moving it in and out just a bit.

"Fuck me, Paul!" she begged, and with a sudden rush, she felt his dick slam into her pussy with such force that her moan was nearly a yell.

As he pushed harder and faster into her pussy, her hips bucked harder and harder to meet him. She wrapped her legs around his and held onto first his back and then his shoulders. Finally she reached for the top of the mattress for stability. She was sweating and panting and wanted him more with each thrust. He looked at her and whispered.

"Turn over," he said and he rolled her onto her front.

He lifted her hips and she knew what he wanted. She lifted her ass high in the air, waiting impatiently for his dick to be back inside her. As much as she wanted it, she underestimated how amazing it would feel when he reentered. He pounded into her from behind and she moaned loudly again, but it was no comparison to how loudly she moaned when he smacked her ass. He grabbed a handful of her hair and held onto it, just lightly, while he fucked her harder. She rocked against him hard, breathing faster, almost gasping. He slid out of her and turned her around. "Ride me," he said, and she straddled him. She slowly lowered herself onto him and rocked and bounced as he rested his hands on her legs. Her tits bounced and she fucked him hard, she loved how deeply she could feel him when they fucked like this. His dick was pounding into her, so hard and so deep that it hurt. But it was the best feeling in the world. For all of the pain, she was feeling ten times the pleasure. He put his hands on her hips and raised his own to meet her. He took his right hand and with his thumb started playing with her clit. She moaned and sucked in her breath. She was going to come.

"Oooooh, OOOOOOH," she moaned. "Oh god, I'm coming. Oh GOD."

She fucked him harder and harder, feeling him deeper in her. She kept fucking him straight through her orgasm. She didn't want to stop. She could tell his breathing was picking up pace as well. He turned her onto her back and moved between her legs, slamming his dick into her. She didn't think she had ever been fucked so hard. Just when she thought it couldn't get any more intense, he would fuck her harder. He was panting in her ear and she heard a groan escape from him.

"I-I, I'm going to come," he said and slammed into her hard a few more times before slowing down.

He groaned and finally laid his head on her chest. She looked over at the clock—1 a.m.

"Was it worth staying up for?" she asked.

He grabbed her by her hair and kissed her. It had been more than worth it.

Soon after their initial "date," both got busy with work and weren't able to get together for several weeks. When they decided to try again, they went out for drinks again, this time to a different bar. They sat down and ordered their drinks and the more he looked at her, the faster he was becoming turned on. He was upset with himself that she had this effect over him.

When he looked at her, sitting there in her jeans and tank top, oblivious to his hard-on, he didn't know how much longer he could hold out before he had to do something about his present state. She sat there, just talking and talking, he didn't think she was ever going to shut up, but then again, she rarely did. As much as he wished he could just take her out back and fuck her right then and there, he loved listening to her talk. She got so animated when she spoke, especially telling stories, which she did often. She glanced at him—was he staring? She hoped that she wasn't talking too much. She wished that he knew how amazing he looked at that moment, so handsome and incredibly sexy, especially when he tried to act like he was listening, but she knew he was just humoring her. When she stopped talking and just looked at him, he panicked. Had he been zoning out? Had she asked him a question that he didn't hear because he was too busy thinking about ripping her clothes off?