Note: This story is pure fiction. It is also a prelude to Back Stage Bliss by Tabby JJ Kitty.
It was a very wacky play written by a good friend of the director. Everybody was a good friend of the director. He was just one of those guys. His name was Fred. My then boyfriend, Steve, would come to rehearsals sometimes when Fred needed an extra pair of eyes for a scene. Steve was also going to design the set. I was stage manager, costume designer, shoulder to cry on and bearer of bad news.
Originally the cast was 14 but we kept loosing actors to TV shows and film shoots. By the second week of rehearsals it was down to 7 actors playing multiple roles. The lead actor, taking on 5 roles himself, was a deep eyed, dark haired broody fellow who would sit just off the side from the reading table and offer his lines and sarcastic comments under his breath every now and then. Bitter, broody and hot - dangerous - he was. His name was David. We're still friends...sigh. He was a brilliant actor, funny, intelligent - and hot. I didn't know that he noticed me.
I ran around rehearsals in short skirts and mini dress, tight tank tops, tight jeans handing out script changes and sundries. Not your usual stage manager wardrobe, but it was all that Steve would let me wear.
One night Fred was unable to rehearse and I was late. It was pouring rain and the roof of my mid 80's Toyota had sprung a leak, thereby raining on me from Santa Monica to North Hollywood in rush hour traffic. Then the thing died entirely - 3 blocks away. Steve was going to have to pick me up later. By the time I made it to the theatre, an hour late, I was a drowned rat. We were only rehearsing the guys that night. There were only two women in the cast but they didn't show up until act 2, so we often worked without them. I was also going to take the opportunity to do some measurements for costumes.
I entered the rehearsal room and there was a sudden silence. I stood in the door drenched, tiny clothes clinging to me like tissue paper, two giant bags on my shoulders, arms full of wet script changes. All 5 men stared at me in a way that I knew that I had been the topic of conversation for the past hour. I laughed and entered the room, throwing my stuff down o the table.
"I see you boys have been productive...!" I said.
David was leaned up on the piano, head down flipping through some old script form another show. He looked up at Howard, an older man with a bad memory, "20 bucks." said David. "
You're on!" said Howard.
Justin, the youngest cast member snickered to himself. I looked around the room at the men's guilty faces. "What's the bet fellas?" I asked in my best film noire way as I set up chairs to start a scene. The all looked like guilty children at confession. "What's the bet? Maybe I want in!" I said with a shiver and a sneeze.
"How rude we are!" said Howard handing me a dirty blanket form a bin of random dusty things from old shows, " you must be freezing." he stood behind me rubbing the dirty blanket on my skin and clothes. It was scratchy and gross but warm.
"Thanks Howard" I said flatly dismissing him. Disappointed he went back to his chair. "Come on guys! What's the bet? Obviously it's about me." I said form the middle of the room, hands on my hips. David started to giggle and looks over at Justin who shook his head as if to say "me?". I scanned the room Joseph had not stopped staring at my chest like it was a calculus theorem. "My chest?" I asked.
It was as if red dye #2 poured into each man's cheeks. I laughed so hard. "You looser heads wasted an hour debating my bra size didn't you?" I laughed hysterically as they each nodded then shamefully bowed their heads. "That's so silly!" I laughed. "Ok, tell you what, lets rehearse, then you can share your guesses. The one who's on the money may - MAY get the opportunity to see it during a fitting. NO TOOUCHING and OLNLY IF you're right on the money and that's a definite MAYBE. Ok? Now, act one scene 3 - Places!" I said flopping with the blanket into an easy chair, still laughing.
I have to say it worked well. The guys were focused and we got a lot of work done. After rehearsal, I heard their guesses without revealing a winner. David was the only one who didn't venture a guess. He remained next to the piano deliciously feigning disinterest. I measured each one of them chest, neck, arm, inseam, head. Some of them were a little nervous at my proximity. They all looked d down my shirt when I knelt before them for the inseam, but on the whole the measuring was quick and painless procedure and they left afterward - all except David. Because he had so many roles, I was going to measure him last. I also had a few things for him to try on.
After the others left I bent over one of my bags to pull out some of the pieces for him to try. Stealthy, he walked up to me, gingerly placed his hand upon my ass and whispered in my ear "34HH". Right on the money. Then he kissed my ear gently, hovering so that I could hear his quiet breath. I stood up to face him. He was so very close to me. He looked deeply into my eyes and smiled. "Did I win?" he asked.
I raised an eye brow and then I raised his arms to measure his chest. "I know I won." he said with his deep low voice. I measured his neck - tightly. He was married. I knew his wife. I was very businesslike and silent. He kept his face close to mine until I dropped down to measure his inseam. He looked down my shirt like the others but this time there was a growing bulge in his pants. He placed his hand upon my head. I got nervous; my hands shook as I raised the tape against his thigh. The bulge got bigger. He tipped my head back with his hand and looked me in the eye.
