My name is Rebecca Young and this is the story of my life so far. I was born 31 years ago in a small town in Nebraska. My parents owned a small dry goods store that did pretty well until a Walmart was built in a nearby town. When the business began to fail, my Dad ended up working in the Walmart for minimum wage and my Mom did clothing alterations from home. Additionally, my parents were evangelical Christians and very strict. We went to church several days a week for services and bible study.
Due to my parent's religious beliefs, I was home schooled for all but my last year of public schooling. There were certain classes I had to take at the public school throughout my school career like science, because my Mom didn't have the knowledge to teach me and the state had certain requirements that needed to be met. I was always ill at ease during those public-school classes because I didn't, really, fit in. My clothes were unfashionable, as was my hair. I didn't know anybody because all of the kids that went to my church were all home schooled as well.
For my early years, church was my entire social world. I had 2 primary friends who were my age; Ruth and Hannah. We would sit together in bible study and hangout at each other's houses. They were very good friends, but we missed out so much during our adolescence because none of us had TV and the only radio programs we heard were evangelical Christian.
Over the years we had had many pastors. Some were older, some were younger, some were married and some weren't. Despite their different looks, they all preached the same thing about the sins of the flesh. Now, to a young girl these admonitions about the sins of the flesh made little sense. I had no idea what fornication was nor alcohol because my parents didn't drink. But they were all adamant that I shouldn't fornicate, drink alcohol and avoid at all costs the sins of the flesh because I would be cast into hell for all of eternity!
After a while, Ruth, Hannah and I all decided to ask our parents. I asked my Mom what fornication was and what constituted a sin of the flesh because I was afraid I might cross that line by accident since I didn't know what those sins were. Not only did I not find out what those sins were, I got a whipping with the belt by my father when my Mom told him what I had asked. The next day Ruth, Hannah and I conferred and discovered that we all got the same treatment.
When I turned 13 I began developing as a girl. I had my first menstrual period and began developing breasts. My Mom explained to me that our periods were due to Eve's original sin and that I should cover my developing breasts so I wouldn't lead others to sin. It all seemed like an unfair burden for a young adolescent girl, but I accepted everything I was told because that was how I was raised.
As the years progressed my breasts got larger and larger. I had developed hair in my groin and underarms and grew to be 5'6" tall. My breasts were considerably larger than Ruth and Hannah's and I had noticed that the men from our church would stare at my chest when they thought nobody was looking. I asked my friends if they noticed the men looking at my chest and they said that they had. It was, kind of weird, but we all discounted it.
When I was 17, I had two classes at the high school. One was calculus and the other was advanced biology. I had a natural talent in science much to my parent's chagrin because they were convinced I was learning stuff that was contrary to the bible. I had a period between the classes where I was told to go to the library and study, so I took the first opportunity to use the dictionary to look up the word 'fornicate'. The definition was, 'two people who were not married having sexual intercourse'. Of course, this didn't help me in the slightest because I didn't know what sexual intercourse was.
I was getting pretty frustrated by this time because I was no closer to finding out what this big sin was that was supposed to be so evil. So, my next effort would have to be via the computers that were available in the library. Since I was the only student in the library, I had the pick of computers, but it turned out that I didn't have a user name to login, so I checked all of the computers to see if someone was still logged in. On the fifth computer I tried, someone hadn't logged out. I wasn't very familiar with computers because my church thought they were tools of the devil, but I looked the screen over and saw a space that said search with a little magnifying glass. I typed 'sexual intercourse', but the response I got was that the information was unavailable due to filters put in place.
At about this same time, we got a new pastor in our church because the previous one retired and moved away. The new one was much younger than the previous one and quite handsome. His wife was quite pretty as well. His name was Rev. James Holloway and his wife was Missy. They were a very nice couple and fit in with the congregation very well. Rev. Holloway's sermons echoed many sermons of the past, but his youthful vigor had a greater impact than his predecessors. He preached against the sins of the flesh and fornication with such gusto that I was spurred to find out what exactly these horrible things were.
Because I was the equivalent of a junior in high school, I took the SAT college placement exam. The exam went on for 6 hours with a 30-minute break for lunch. My biology teacher, Mrs. Lerner, was the proctor for the test. I liked her a lot and thought she was a very good teacher, so after the exam was finished I went up to her and asked her if I could ask her a question. Since the test was being held at the high school on a Saturday, she said I was welcome to ask any question I liked and that we should go to her classroom to talk.
When we arrived, Mrs. Lerner asked, "So, what can I help you with Rebecca?"
I was a little nervous considering the responses I had received before from my parents, but I was determined to find the answer. "Well, in my church the pastors are always warning about the 'sins of the flesh' and 'fornication'. The dictionary says that fornication is sexual intercourse between unmarried people, but nobody will tell me what any of this means. Can you answer these questions for me because I don't want to inadvertently commit one of these sins out of ignorance?"
Mrs. Lerner looked a little gob smacked with her mouth hanging open when I had finished with my question. She took a few moments to consider her response and then said, "Haven't your parents told you about the facts of life? You know, the birds and the bees?" I shook my head no, so she continued, "Well, I'm not sure that it's my place to tell you this. Generally, a mother will tell her daughter all about these things."
"When I asked my Mom what fornication was, I got a whipping with my father's belt," I explained. "Please tell me. I won't tell anyone where I got the information."
Mrs. Lerner pondered for a few moments and then said, "Okay, I tell you because every woman should know this information. Come sit with me at my computer and I'll give you the facts of life." She pulled up a site on her computer that diagramed the reproductive systems of men and women and then showed how intercourse worked. At first I was stunned, but got more interested as the demonstration went on.
When it was finished, I sat thinking for a few moments and then asked, "So, fornication is when two unmarried people have intercourse, is that correct?" Mrs. Lerner nodded, so I went on, "So, what are 'sins of the flesh'?"
Mrs. Lerner chuckled and said, "I think the definition depends on the church you go to, though I would suppose that there are a lot in common amongst churches. My guess would be things like oral and anal sex, lesbian and gay sex, adultery and so on." I had no idea what any of those things were and Mrs. Lerner knew that, so she continued. "Lesbian sex is sex between two women. Gay sex is sex between two men. Anal sex is when a penis is placed in another person's anus. And, oral sex is when a mouth is put on either a man or woman's sex organ. Most religions condone only sex between a married man and woman when the penis is put into the vagina. Does that answer your question?"