Private Self

*Many thanks to my editor who donated his time and to the constructive feedback from fellow lit members. Also, thank you to the readers who offer encouragement. If you leave a comment (please use your lit user name), I'll be sure to let you know when new chapters are published! - Lusty.

*****

Crap! I shoot upright in my bed. It's not like I forgot the boys are downstairs. Okay, I did forget the boys are downstairs. For a moment, nothing existed except a giant wave of orgasmic pleasure. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I scramble for my underwear and yoga pants which I had shed before I made love to my vibrator. My underwear is tangled somewhere in my sheets, so I give up and duck around looking for my pants. Finding them, I hurry to shove my legs inside.

I swing open my bedroom door and, almost colliding, I meet Rhys at the top of the stairs.

"Hey," I say nonchalantly. Maybe too nonchalantly. I smooth my hair down and try not to sound puffed. "What's up?"

"Christine's car broke down. So, I'm on my way to go help her." Christine is Rhys' girlfriend.

"Oh. I hope she's okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Just a little panicked.", Rhys says quickly, with his car keys jingling in his hand. "Um, I told Ryan I'd give him a ride because he has to be at work soon. Would you be able to give him a lift? Please? I really have to go."

"Of course.", I nod. "That's no problem. What time does he need to leave?"

Ryan is at the bottom of the stairs where he has heard our conversation. He looks up at us with hands on his hips. He has sweat on his brow and soaking the front of his T-shirt from playing basketball. In an affable manner, he calls up, "In about an hour. I really appreciate it. Would you mind if take a shower here before we go?"

"Sure," Rhys answers for me. Rhys is already headed down the stairs. "I don't know how long I'll be. Thanks, Mum!" I hear him go through the side door, where he heads to his car parked on the street.

I am conscious of the fact that I am alone with the object of my recent fantasy. "I'll fetch you a towel!", is all I can think of to say. I turn to the hallway linen closet, open it, and select a white bath towel. When I turn back towards the stairs, Ryan has stopped mid-way up and he has a perturbed look on his face.

"I forgot my change of clothes are in Rhys' car."

"Oh. Oops." Do I ever sound dumb. In a no-nonsense mother voice, I offer, "I'll just grab some of Rhys' clothes for you to borrow. No problem."

"Thanks," Ryan says looking at me as he ascends the rest of the stairs to stand about 2 feet from me. "Jeans and a t-shirt would be okay. A button up shirt is preferred for us bartenders, if he has one that will fit." While Ryan has a perfectly cordial tone, he is stepping towards me deliberately and without breaking eye contact. He is so close that I can smell his clean, salty sweat. He reaches with both hands towards me. I look down and as I release the towel to him, I feel his hands brush mine.

I can feel my face become hot and I know that I'm blushing. I back away towards Rhys' bedroom and looking at the floor like a nervous teenager, I stammer, "You go ahead and take that shower. Use whatever you need. I'll bring you the, I mean, I'll leave the clothes for you." I escape into my son's room and let out a huge sigh. I am embarrassed by my behaviour and simultaneously turned on. Did Ryan deliberately touch me when he took the towel from me? Was he giving me come hither eyes, or was that my horny imagination? I shake my head from side to side, as if to shake away the thought of his sexy eyes. I walk to the built-in closet and choose a pair of blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and a blue plaid casual shirt. I add a navy t-shirt for options. I add blue socks. I don't think Rhys will be happy with me if I lend out his underwear. I guess Ryan will have to go without underwear. I smirk at the thought.

I walk slowly across the hall and stop outside the closed bathroom door. I can hear the shower water running and smell the shampoo scent in the steam from underneath the door. The sound of the beating water and the awareness of my beating heart reminds me of a similar instance.

//

I was in college and a group of about 10 classmates were meeting at Jay's rented apartment to organize a year end party. Jay was taking a shower. Jay always seemed to be taking a shower because he was always lifting weights or exercising. For some reason, I had arrived early. After Jay had excused himself, I sat alone in his lounge room very aware of the nearby naked man. I don't think I'd ever been alone with Jay before that. I sneaked up to the door of his small bathroom, smelling soap in the damp air. I paused, then made my decision. I lay my hand on the doorknob and turned it silently. I closed the door behind me just as silently.

"Jay...?"

"Um. Yeah?" He sounded startled. Understandably.

"I would like to know if I may join you."

"Pardon?" Oh, Lordy. I prepared myself for a humiliating rejection.

"I would like to know...if I may join you in the shower. Now."

Jay peeked his head from behind the shower curtain. I was sure to keep eye contact as I stripped my clothes and smiled. God, I was gutsy. "You dirty minx" is what Jay called me as he watched me step up into the shower tub and stand immediately in front of him. He scanned my naked body under the running shower as I leaned my head back to wet my hair. Wordlessly, my eyes followed my right hand as I reached to feel his chest, firmly dragging my hand across his hard-earned pectoral muscles and taking a tight turn around his nipple. He sucked in his breath. I continued my hand's journey down his abdominal muscles, enjoying the bumpy curves of his toned stomach. I ran the same hand through his blond pubic hair, and then swooped my hand swiftly up the length of his cock, which by now was hard and raised up against his belly. It felt so satisfying to make him groan. I stepped closer, slightly to his right, so that my legs were astride his right leg and I could continue to stroke his cock. I firmly gripped him as I repeatedly ran my hand down the hard length of him, making sure to stroke his balls, and up over the smooth head.

He finally moved his hands by taking hold of both sides of my hips roughly. For balance, I moved my arms up between our bodies so that my hands were around his neck. He raised his knee so that my wet pussy lips could slide along his thigh. It was my turn to gasp. Jay was shorter than me, but he reached one hand around my neck and pulled my head close so that our foreheads touched. We were eye to eye. His other hand reached down to bend my left leg and raise it to twine around his hip. I rocked my hips while he pressed his thigh upward for pressure. He kissed me deeply; one good, long kiss.

The doorbell rang. We froze for a moment and then Jay gave a low growl. I loved how Jay growled. He gently lowered my leg back down and moved both his hands to my hips. Our foreheads were still touching. We both were panting. I had only half realised that the other guests were arriving. As Jay reached to turn off the water, I pushed lightly on his chest to stop him. "I don't care if they have to wait."

With that, I turned around. I put one foot up on the rim of the tub and one hand on the wall, offering myself from behind as the warm water streamed down my back. I produced another predatory growl out of Jay. With the difference in our heights, he easily positioned himself behind me. He pushed the head in and it was delicious. Oh, how I love the silky, smooth, mushroom shape of the head of a cock. After the briefest pause, he pushed in another couple of inches. My inside muscles pressed around him. He retracted the same two inches, just so he could tease me with his cock. My pussy was aching and needy and grasping. Then, mercifully, he slowly and deliberately gave me the whole length of him until I could feel his soft pubic hair touch the outside of my pussy. Taking his cock was so joyful it was overwhelming.

Oh, he was good. He fucked me gloriously. I could tell he was enjoying giving me pleasure. He used his cock like a weapon of the sweetest torture; the excruciating agony of desperately wanting more, but not getting it. He dished out just enough pleasure, and then cruelly withdrew the pleasure, causing me to moan with agony. Until, suddenly, his weapon led an attack and pummelled me hard and fast. Then, there was nothing for me to do but surrender. I pushed my ass out to open myself even wider, and I came deeply.

Jay's self-restraint was marvellous because he managed to continue with slow, regular thrusts. My pussy felt like melting lava around his cock. Finally, his thrusts had a rhythm of intent and determination. I knew his orgasm was imminent. The anticipation of his cum squirting inside my pussy made me want to squeal with glee. I didn't have to wait long. He plunged as deep up my pussy as he could. His cock pulsed.

Panting, he slipped out of me and I turned to face him. He kissed me for the second time, deeply. We grinned at each other and giggled as we rinsed our bodies of the scent of sex. He handed me a towel and we swiftly dried ourselves. I was throwing my clothes on when the doorbell rang again. We whipped our heads to turn to each other and stifling laughs. Then I jogged to the front door and opened it. It was a classmate, who I hoped wouldn't notice my wet hair. Jay stuck his head from around the corner and called,

"Hey, man. Sorry. I was in the shower."

//

Here I am again in the present, with my hand on the bathroom doorknob and a naked man on the other side. Do I want to open the door and explore his hot young body, and do all sorts of sexy things? Hell yes, I want to. SHOULD I? Definitely, no. Hey, wait a second. There's no sound of running water. Ryan's getting out of the shower! In a panic, I scamper towards the safety of my bedroom until I remember I'm supposed to give him the clothes I'm carrying. Forgetting myself, I scurry back and stupidly reach for the doorknob. I recoil my hand and in an awkward dance, I drop the clothes in front of the bathroom door. I just make it through my bedroom doorway when I hear the bathroom door open behind me. I turn in order to shut my door between us, but then I'm a deer caught in a frozen stare.

Ryan is standing in the open doorway of the bathroom, from where steam is escaping like a backdrop in a movie. This is ridiculous. He straightens up from reaching for the clean clothes, loosely holding my white towel around his trim waist. I drink in the sight of all his bared parts, from his neatly groomed toes to his damp tousled hair. I linger on the front part of his pubic bone jutting out and creating seductive angles at his hip. When I finally settle my gaze to his face, I see that he is not moving. His face is still, and his body is motionless with his free arm loose at his side. Our eyes meet, and I unconsciously cast my eyes to a spot in front the untouched clothes at his feet, feeling very busted. It feels like at least 20 seconds go by.

"Mrs. C."

Ryan intones as a statement, but his voice is strained. My eyes flick up to his face and back down to the spot on the floor. Another long pause. It's time to face the music, but I'm not sure of how I'm going to explain why I was drooling over his body, I straighten my shoulders and raise my chin to look at Ryan. He seems to be in almost the same position.

"Take off your top."

Well, that was unexpected. I search his face for a clue. He looks dead serious and patient. He waits. At this challenge, I narrow my eyes at him. Game on. With a new bravado, I remove my tank top. I'm not wearing a bra. I look at his hungry eyes and wait through a few more seconds of silence.

"And the rest." he says in a staccato. I am intrigued at his confidence. I breath in some air and let it out slowly through my lips. In what I think is a fluid motion I remove my yoga pants. My underwear is still somewhere in my bed.

"Come over here. ", he demands lightly, as he nods to a position directly in front of him. I feel squeamish at the thought of not being able to dictate what will happen next. I can't remember if I'd ever been submissive. If there was power play, as far back as I remember, I was top. However, without protest I find myself facing him and studying his expression of calm. I try to mirror his cool demeanour. Though truthfully, my breathing is frustratingly uneven, and I squirm.

I observe Ryan tuck his towel so that it stays at his waist. Before I have time to register, his hand is stroking my pussy which is so wet I bet I could slide across the kitchen floor. I gasp at the shock of slippery sensation, and I automatically raise my arms up towards his chest to steady myself. In a startling martial art-like move, his other arm windmills in a tight circle which sweep both my arms up over my head. From this blocking position Ryan travels that arm gracefully up my forearms and grips my wrists with his strong hand. With his other hand still holding the wet mess that is my pussy, he steers my back to the wall and my arms are pinned above my head with his one hand. With no time to think, two fingers invade me boorishly and I am helplessly finger-fucked. I struggle for breath, repeatedly gasping in little puffs of air. His fingers curl to relentlessly explore my G-spot. I start to release all the air I was holding with a noise like a siren, starting quietly but building along with my excitement. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh..."

A door slams. My eyes fly open. Ryan moves the hand from my wrists to gently cover my mouth and I fall silent immediately. His fingers are still sliding in and out of me, juices running down the rest of his hand. The sensation and inability to make noise make my knees buckle a little but I am still firmly propped on the wall. We both turn our ears towards the stairs to hear footsteps, keys thrown on the counter, and the fridge open. Then Ryan calls towards the empty stairwell," Hey Rhys! That you?". As he withdraws himself from me, his fingers gently sliding out, Ryan whispers, "We are not done, here."

"Yeah. It was just a dead battery. I gave her a boost, and her dad is going to replace it this afternoon.", says my son.

I flee to my bedroom and close the door without a sound. Who IS this guy?!