I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I looked and saw it was Valerie. I took a deep breath before I answered. My girlfriend had been in a prank war with her roommate, Heather, and I was sure she would be upset.
"What did she..." I started.
"Glitter!" She yelled loud enough that her voice was distorted coming through the phone's speaker. "That fucking slut put glitter in the air vents of my car! It's all over me and my whole car is covered!"
"Sure. Maybe this is far enough. Like, maybe this is a good place to stop." I suggested.
"You think this shit is funny?" Valerie must have picked up some amusement in my voice.
"Look, I don't want to be involved. I just think you don't find it funny, so maybe don't prank her back and then it can be over."
"Fuck that. I'm not letting that bitch win. You need to come over right now."
****
I noticed Heather's car wasn't in front of Valerie's apartment as I pulled up. The door was unlocked, so I let myself in. I knocked on the open door to make sure she knew I was there.
"Val, you here?" I called out.
"Yeah, I'm back here. Come on, I need you."
I found Valerie in Heather's room, going through her things. Valerie was tall, with bleached blonde hair and wide hips. She was wearing a tight black sweater and low-rise jeans that showed off just a hint of a bright blue thong.
"Okay, take your pants off," she said without looking at me.
"Take my pants off? What are we doing here?"
Valerie unscrewed the pump-top from a bottle of lotion and finally looked at me. "You're going to cum in her face lotion."
"Woah!" I put my hands up and took a step back. "Don't you think that's taking things too far? I really don't want to be in the middle of this."
"Look what this fucking slut did to me!" Valerie pinched the front of her shirt and shook it. I could see flakes of glitter fall off of her. I tried not to smile.
"Besides," she continued, "it's not like that whore doesn't have some guy's cum on her face every other day anyway."
"Val, think about what you're trying to do right now."
"No," she said, pulling off her sweater and shirt in one motion. "You're not here to think and you're not here to talk me out of this." She unclasped her bra and let it fall. Her tits were small, but they were perfectly shaped and she knew the power they had over me.
She picked up the lotion bottle and held it in front of her. She squeezed her chest with her arms to push her tits up.
"Please," she said, opening her eyes wide and batting her lashes at me. "I need you."
"Okay fine," I said as I unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out, "but I don't want this getting back to me."
"Relax, she's not going to see your face. I'm only going to record your cock." She put down the bottle and picked up her phone.
"Wait, no. You want to show Heather my cock?"
"I want to show her some guy jizzing in her lotion. The prank doesn't work if I don't show her."
I sighed and started jerking off. I never understood why I let her talk me into things. I knew there was no reasoning with her, so I let her have her way, like I always did.
"Come on! Hurry up!" Valerie was nodding her head rhythmically in an impatient gesture.
I closed my eyes and tried to conjure up an image to get myself in the mood. I don't think Valerie ever knew that I always pictured her when I did that.
I thought back to the night we met. We were at a local bar. I was ordering another round for my friends, and I started talking to Valerie while I tried to get the bartender's attention. She was on a date that wasn't going well, and we decided to run out while her date was in the bathroom and my friends were waiting for me.
We went to another bar, and then back to my place. We had sex in my living room. Valerie was on her back, her ass resting on the arm of my sofa and her head down on the cushions. When she saw I was about to cum she told me, "show me what you've got." I pulled out and came all over her. Her mouth was open and her tongue was out, but my spray didn't quite reach that far.
I tried to sit on the sofa next to her head, but she pushed me off. She told me, "go get a drink of water and then get back to work." Then she ran a finger through the cum on her belly and put it in her mouth. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen in my life.
We fucked all night, slept for a few hours, and then fucked the whole next day. She's the only girl I ever had sex with on the night I met her. With other girls sex was a big emotional thing, but with Valerie it was fun and easy. At least at first.
Sometimes I wondered if I was only with her because of how she made me feel in those early days. Before the lying and the cheating and the breaking up and getting back together.
"Come on! Hurry up!" Valerie interrupted my reminiscence.
"You're really not helping," I replied.
"You want me to help? How about this: if you cum for me right now, I'll let you fuck my ass this weekend. I know how much you love anal. I haven't let you in a long time because it's just too much for me. The way your big, hard cock stretches me out, I can't take it. But I promise I'll be a good little slut and let you use my tight little asshole as your own personal fuck toy if you just cum for me right now."
She noticed I was close and held the bottle up to me. I tried to push the tip of my cock up to the opening as I came, and I only got a little on the outside of the bottle.
Valerie grabbed a wad of tissues and used them to wipe down the bottle and her hand. She stirred the lotion with the tube on the pump-top before she screwed it back on. Then she turned her phone around so the camera faced her.
"Hope you like your cum facial, slut. Think about this the next time you want to fuck with me."
She stopped recording. "Okay, now you have to leave." She pushed me with both hands.
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"Yes! I don't know how long she's going to be out, and I don't want her to find you here. She might suspect something."
"But I'm your boyfriend. Isn't it normal for me to be here?"
"Don't be a jerk about it! Just leave!" She put her bra back on and grabbed her sweater and shirt from the floor.
"Okay, fine. But this weekend? Anal?" I asked hopefully.
Valerie rolled her eyes. "In your dreams. Now get out of here!"
*****
My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Heather. I had been dreading this call, but I couldn't ignore it.
"Hey Heather," I said as I answered.
"Don't 'hey Heather' me. Did you really just cum on my face?"
"What? No! I mean, not really."
"Don't give me this 'not really' bullshit after you came on my face. I have a video of you jerking off in my lotion."
"Val sent you the video?"
"Of course she did. The bitch needed to gloat."
"And you can tell it's me?"
"You're her boyfriend, aren't you? And I can hear you talking in the video."
"Oh. She sent you the whole video. I would have thought she would have taken a clip from it."
"Why are we playing twenty questions here after you just came on my face? I need you to come over so we can talk."
"I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to get involved."
"Involved?!?" Heather's voice rose until it was almost a shout. "You. Came. On. My. Face. People go to jail for this kind of shit. I just need you to come over so we can have a talk. Eight o'clock tomorrow night."
She hung up before I could say anything else.
*****
I was a little relieved to see Valerie's car parked in front of their apartment. If things were about to get out of hand, I might at least have some backup.
As I walked up Heather and a woman I didn't know walked out to greet me on the sidewalk.
Heather was average height, with a thick mane of strawberry-blonde hair. She was busty in a way that made every outfit look like it was designed to draw attention to her breasts. She was wearing a T-shirt from a 5k she had run, and the way the writing stretched around her tits made it impossible not to look.
Her friend was a bit shorter, with black hair cut into a bob. She was skinny, and wore a floral print dress.
"Here's the deal," Heather started without saying hello, "Val's taking a bath tonight, and you're going to help me get back at her."
From the time when we had lived together I remembered how Valerie made a big production out of her weekly bath. She would bring a scouring pad into the tub so she could scrub it clean. Then she would shower. She liked everything to be pristine before she drew her bath.
She used special oils and candles. She would usually listen to an audiobook. She would typically spend an hour or two in the bath after everything was just perfect.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked Heather.
"You're going to bust into the bathroom and cum on her face."
"That's a terrible idea," I exclaimed.
"You'll cum on my face, but you won't cum on hers?" Heather was indignant and her friend covered a giggle with her hand. "She's your motherfucking girlfriend, not me. If you have to cum on someone's face you should be cumming on hers!"
"Yeah, but..." She had a point and it was hard to argue. "How would that even work? I barge in and she just stays still while I jerk off?"