Power Outage 01

Power Outage 01

Hello, I'm Jay, I'm 23 and here's what I've learned about my neighborhood since purchasing my house about a year ago. They pick up the rubbish bins on Monday mornings and I know exactly which of my surrounding houses are prepared for a power outage with nothing (ahh, the quiet houses), which have a household sized power generator (not bad) and which have portable generators (no comment other than they rattle away, but save the day).

So, since I've turned 23, which means I've done it all and know it all, it felt right that I made certain a few of neighbors had their rattling portable generators up and running because that's what is expected of someone like me who is now considered as the older generation, right?

"Alright, Jay, other than to stand here and watch you do stuff, what do you need me to do then, hmm? And is there a door delivery system for the gasoline like my groceries?"

"Mrs. Venture, step one, start digging out good extension cords, step two, start digging out fans, two fans max, step three, crack your family room window open so I can fish the extension cords through it and step four, place your hands on your hips and lean a little like in a "S" form, so?"

"Hah! Men, they always want their women bent over a little!"

Well, I laid out a good starting point sequence of events, right?

[Extension cords plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop]

Well, Mrs. Venture does always over decorate for the Christmas holidays and all, so.

"Alright, now that you have single handedly kept the extension cord company in business, Mrs. Venture, here's the next sequence. This orange cord will be mainly for your refrigerator, like 90% and for your microwave oven the other 10%, but it's a shared power cord between those two appliances only, got it? 90-10, Mrs. Venture, 90-10, got it?"

"Oh, Jay, I got your 90-10 shared power cord! But go on then."

"Alright, we'll use this thick yellow cord as a branch feed for a TV, two fans, one small centrally located lamp, maybe two small lamps and a recharging spot, although recharging devices from a portable generator isn't the best idea except for emergencies, got it, Mrs. Venture?"

"Oh, I'm getting a headache already, but you know, you're "the man" and all and you "know best" about what should be plugged into where! Sheesh, what else then, Jay?"

"Well, sometimes people with tender feet feel discomfort when stepping on a round extension cord, so I'm going to route the cords as close to the walls and cabinets as I can, so, if you have tender feet, watch where you step or slip your feet into a pair of slippers or, or, or, wear a pair of flip flops to keep your painted nails of full display, tee he, got it, Mrs. Venture?"

"Well, Jay, at least something will get slipped into something then! But go on."

"Tee he, is this a good time to suggest that you use the remaining daylight to sit outside, while I start your portable generator and then you lean forward in a patio chair and touch up your toe nails, hmm?"

"Men! They always want their women leaning forward in chair while wearing a house coat! Wait, maybe we're finally getting somewhere!"

"Alright, Mrs. Venture, we're at the final steps before I run up to the gas station and fill up your gas can, so, plugging in your TV might be worthless since the cable is probably out as well, so you might have to miss tonight's episode of "The Real Bimbo's of Middleton", got it?"

"Well, they are in re-runs anyways, so continue on with what needs to be plugged in and don't leave out what should be plugged because it hasn't been plugged for over seven years!"

"Alright, alright, Mrs. Venture, next, for your comfort, make sure to change into your lightest weight jammies for comfort and this is no time for modesty, so, well, a bra is just extra material to wear against your body, but since you know much more about your support requirements, I'll leave that to you, so, I'm going to fire up your generator now, check to make sure everything is plugged in properly and up and running and then run up to the station for you fuel, so?"

Well, the best thing about a fairly new and modern portable generator is that they do start right up with just one or two pulls of the cord.

[Pull, pull, grr, grr, grr, hum, hum, rattle, rattle, hum, hum]

"Well?"

"Oh, OMG, Mrs. Venture! Those jammies are made from pretty thin material alright!"

"It's a sheer babydoll and I believe it meets all the criteria you just laid out as the appropriate power outage dress code, Jay! It's thin, it's light, it has what they call support cups, it came with small matching panties and sometimes this is what a man likes when he's making sure that everything that needs to be plugged is properly plugged, so, well, so what then, Jay?"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Oh boy and sometimes a man plugs it bare back and raw! Oh, oh, ahh, ahh, ooh."

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"OMG, pull out, Jay, OMG, don't pull out, Jay, OMG, pull out, Jay, OMG, don't pull out, Jay!"

[Gush, squirt, blast, squirt, goop, stream, gush, squirt, sploosh, ooze, ahh, ooze, ooh, drizzle, ahh]

Well, Mrs. Venture's last scream out was to not pull out, so.

"[Wheeze, huff] now that's how you bring the power, Jay!"

"[Wheeze, puff] I agree, Mrs. Venture, but I need to get up to filling station [wheeze], so?"

"[Whew] not before I suck my pussy juice off of your dick! A good side piece women never leaves her evidence behind."

[Oomph, slush, oomph, slurp, gasp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, slurp, hmm, ooh]

Well, she probably knew that I had a on and off girlfriend, right?

[Oomph, ooze, oomph, ooze, drizzle, oomph, ooze, oomph, suck, oomph, drizzle, gulp]

I did not have a on and off girlfriend.

But what Mrs. Venture had was, well, other than an aggressive manner in the bedroom, was she had one of those older and large gasoline cans with basically zero safety features, except for a handle operated cap, which, yay for the modern safety features and all, but I like it when it goes straight to "glug, glug, glug" instead of all that fiddling around with safety feature after safety feature after safety feature! But, yay for safety features anyways.

And then I made another stop on my way to the gas station. I mean, I had to check up with all of neighbors, right?

[Pops around the back of the house from the driveway un-announced]

"OMG, Mrs. Kline, OMG, Mrs. Kline, put the shotgun down, Mrs. Kline!"

[But Mrs. Kline looked good standing there aiming a shotgun at her generator!]

"Well, damn it, Jay, I paid near a $1000 for this damn machine and the fancy man on my TV said it would give me my power and I got it started alright, but it's not giving me my power, Jay and if it's not going to give me my power like the fancy man on my TV said it would, then I'm going pig belly its guts out!"

[Jay was a fool to lay his hand on the barrel and gently lower it, but Jay has been a fool before, so]

"Alright, alright, alright, Mrs. Kline, let me just have a quick look at things first before we go pig belly gutting anything! Also, you look good in a dress, Mrs. Kline. I don't recall seeing you much like this."

"Oh, don't get excited, young man! It's just rock salt in case I have to scare off any Mountain Lions since I live on the edge of wilderness. Besides, I have the safety on, so even if I pointed this old shotgun up in the air this like and squeeze the trigger, I mean, it won't go off [click]"

[BOOM. SNAP! Crack, crackle, crackle, timber! Slam!]

"Tee he, well, that tree needing pruning anyways! And maybe the rock salt is in my other shotgun! Or even in my other, other shotgun, anyways, Jay, let me use your truck to hunt down the fancy man who said on my TV that his generator would give me my power!"

"Alright, hold up, Mrs. Kline, before you tear into the fancy man on your TV, look, see this switch? It's the main circuit breaker switch and see these words, "on" and "off" right next to switch?'

[Hum, hum, hum, switch to on, grr, grr, grr, rattle, rattle, hum, hum, hum]

"Ta da! Power, Mrs. Kline, you have your power now! Also, you don't really live on the edges of the wilderness, Mrs. Kline and you don't have to live in fear of Mountain Lions! I mean, you have a fenced in backyard with a large county owned grassy area, dual train tracks, more grassy area and then you know, the six-lane highway, so, let's put away your shotgun, your other shotgun, your other, other shotgun and maybe put away the pistol that you have strapped to your ankle, so?"

"Are you checking out my ankles, Jay? Well, tee he, I drank my first bottle of whiskey hanging out near the train tracks back in the day, Jay! It was my first group date ever!"

"And it's a rite of passage for every group of teenagers to have their first beer and to fool around near the train tracks, so, yay, Mrs. Kline, you grew up normal in Middleton! I'll go get you some gasoline then."

"Oh, it wasn't that type of group date, Jay, four boys asked me out for the same time and gave me a bottle of whiskey! And I'm still pissed off for not getting mentioned in the good book for having a baby without having sex like that other woman!"

[They share a quizzical, yet whimsical stare down for 3.3 moments]

"Oh, tee he, well then, Mrs. Kline, um, whew, so, I'll fill your gas can and be back around, so."

"Well, don't come back around hoping to fill anything else, Jay! I keep my other, other, other shotgun leaning up against my bed post!"

"Oh, well, that sounds like, um, like a carnival game where I might try to sling your undies over the tip of the barrel, like that ring toss, game, if you were wearing any undies since I can basically see through your sun dress, Mrs. Kline, so?"

"Hah! Men, they always want to twirl their woman's undies around their finger in victory and then give them a good slinging through the air!"

Well, it sounded like a challenge to me, so? The game, I mean, the ring toss game.

"Wait! Um, Jay, um, you'll have to seduce me another way later tonight, um, because maybe I don't keep up with personal grooming so much these days, so? And bring a bottle whiskey back with you from the gas station! And that's just for me later so I can fall asleep and since I'm already half seduced by you, Jay, so?"

And honesty never hurt anyone, right? Besides, not only could I see through her sun dress, I could her unkept wilderness area! But it on to the next neighbor.

"Mrs. Wilson? Mrs. Wilson? It's Jay, um, I'm on a generator gasoline run, so, Mrs. Wilson?"

[Moments pass before Mrs. Wilson appears in the breezeway screen door]

"Oh, hey there, Jay, um, I was just in my bedroom slipping on something a little cooler, so, a generator gasoline run then, count me in, Jay."

"Tee he, sorry, Mrs. Wilson, I should have checked the clock on my phone to know that you would be slipping into something more comfortable, so?"

"Hah! Boys who have grown into men, yet remember that their friend's mom used to remove her bra after work Monday through Friday at precisely 5:27pm! And maybe with the bedroom door cracked open! And maybe in a thong, but that's not important now, what's important is that I need gasoline! And maybe I need it doggie bad since you're all grown up now, Jay, so?"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"You should have fucked me a long time ago, Jay, aha, aha, aha, oh, oh, ooh, Jay, Jay, Jay!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Damn, grown men who know how to bring the power! I'm there, Jay, I'm there!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Jay, Jay, O, O, O, O, O, O, O, O, oh fuck! Nut, Jay, nut!"

[Gush, squirt, blast, squirt, goop, stream, gush, squirt, sploosh, ooze, ahh, ooze, ooh, drizzle, ahh]

Well, Mrs. Wilson said it, so I did just that, so.

"[Wheeze, huff] now that was powerful, Jay!"

"[Wheeze, puff] I agree, Mrs. Wilson, but I need to get up to filling station [wheeze], so?"

"[Whew] not before I suck my pussy juice off of your dick! A good friend's mom, side piece women would never leave any evidence behind."

[Oomph, slush, oomph, slurp, gasp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, slurp, hmm, ooh]

Well, déjà vu, I guess

[Oomph, ooze, oomph, ooze, drizzle, oomph, ooze, oomph, suck, oomph, drizzle, gulp]

"I'll be sure to put my bra back on and remove it for you later than, Jay, but wasn't that so much better than pulling on yourself from peeking on me back then, Jay, hmm?"

"Oh, that was so much better, Mrs. Wilson, but I never complained about the undies that were always somehow readily available for me, so?"

"Well, tee he, Jay, there was the age thing, but the post it notes that you would leave where only I would find them were sweet, naughty, but sweet, although Jay, to this day I'm not sure, Jay, um, I mean, did my ass ever clap for you then like six of post-it notes asked, hmm?"

I mean, I told her absolutely, but we all know that an ass doesn't clap when just taking about eleven minutes to remove a bra, even when her back was turned to the cracked opened bedroom door.

[Gas station door chime jingle, jangle]

"Pauline, I have like six gas cans to fill up, so I'm just going to grab a soda to pass the time, okay?"

"Anything you want, Jay, I mean, you asked me out and then we went out and then we changed the directional flow of the Middleton River for a few minutes for how hard we did it in the river park and then the clock keeps spinning around day after day without a follow up phone call, so, have it your way then, Jay!"

"Aww, Pauline, I love you and we're getting married, so?"

"Hah! Men, they always play the "we're getting married" card for the hope of another piece of ass down by the river! Go pump your gas, Jay! And take a can from the shelf and go check in with my momma. And don't be alarmed if your soda isn't super cold. The boss redirects the power from the station's generator mostly to the gas pumps, the lights and the cash register and damn it, Jay, you hit me with a lot of power that night and I liked it!"

Oh, that statement was going on social media! Not by name, of course, but as a quote!

"Hah! Men, they always turn the daughter inside out from great sex and then they show up with a can of gasoline in their hands hoping to finish off the rest of the women in the family!"

"Tee he, now, Mrs. Peterson, it's not like that since I already "accidently" stumbled into the wrong bedroom once after getting a 2am glass of water, so?"

"Well, you were good, Jay, but you dumped my daughter before I had a chance to figure out what butt sex is all about, so. Also, ahem, you didn't have a chance to figure out how I like it rough since you went all wham, bam, thank you, ma'am at 2am in the morning and then ran naked out of my bedroom! And Jay, when I say I like rough, I mean I like it rough! Well, I've toned it down a bit since I literally jacked a man's cock right off of his front like a crazy woman at the fund raiser, but I still like it pretty rough, Jay!"

"Ouch! Hey, the same thing happened to my Uncle Ray! And at the fund raiser too!"

[They both share a déjà vu quizzical, yet whimsical stare down for 3.3 moments]

"Tee he, now go, Jay, check my generators fuel level and you know, make up with my daughter, Pauline, so I can get more sex! Which I may or may not kill you with, so?"

What a way to go, right? But super ouch on that other thing, right?

And I was starting to get high from filling so many gas cans and generators.

"Mrs. Kline! Mrs. Kline!"

"It was in my dresser, Jay. I used to be young, so"

"Bod, bod, bod..."

"Body suit, Jay, a sheer, crotchless body suit in animal print, like the Mountain Lions that come around, so, I thought you might like it. Also, being crotchless, you can take my pussy without seeing exactly how long it's been since I groomed, which I will fix for the next time!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Aha, aha, aha, I guess it works for Mountain Lion style too then, Jay, aha, aha, aha, oh, oh, ooh!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"OMG, this is sex without a bottle of whiskey then, Jay? This is great!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Jay, Jay, a little more, Jay, just a little more, oh, oh, O, O, O, O, O, O, O, oh Jay!"

[Gush, squirt, blast, squirt, goop, stream, gush, squirt, sploosh, ooze, ahh, ooze, ooh, drizzle, ahh]

"[Wheeze, huff] now that's how the Mountain Lions do it, Jay!"

"[Wheeze, puff] I agree, Mrs. Kline, but I need to get up and finish dropping off the other gas cans that I filled up tonight [wheeze], so?"

"[Whew] not before I suck my pussy juice off of your dick!"

"Ahh, because a good mountain woman never leaves any evidence behind then, Mrs. Kline, tee he?"

"What, Jay? I just like sucking dick! Og, wait, tee he, yeah, yeah, that's it, Jay."

[Oomph, slush, oomph, slurp, gasp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, slurp, hmm, ooh]

Well, almost déjà vu then, I guess.

[Oomph, ooze, oomph, ooze, drizzle, oomph, ooze, oomph, suck, oomph, drizzle, gulp]

"[Mwah] I promise I'll trim things up for next time, Jay, so, don't go filling anyone's gas can that I wouldn't fill, tee he or call me if you need help!"

Huh? Alright then. And the sun hadn't even set yet on the first night of the power outage.

"So, you see, Mr. Dane, even though your natural gas water heater will still function without electricity, I mean, come on, your portable generator will not safely power Mrs. Dane's hair dryer and you know women and their hair, right?

"Well, that's mighty thoughtful of you, sonny, but still..."

"[Two quick elbow nudges] and even though the cable is out, I mean, your generator will power your TV and your DVD player, not that I'm saying you have a "Men Cleaning House" DVD stashed around here somewhere or anything like that, tee he, so?"

"Aha, aha, aha!"

"And since it may or may not be a double feature with "Men Making the Bed", I mean, maybe, just maybe, Mrs. Dane should just shower at my place too!"

"Aha, aha, aha."

LOL, I just pulled that one out of my butt, but, hey, it worked.

"And Helen, make sure that your hair is totally dry before you walk back home! People get sick with wet hair in this type of heat!"

Ahh, seriously? People pour water over their heads from the heat where we live, but okay.

"You pull the rope on my robe, Jay! I mean, just so I can say that you started it and that's the only reason why I finished it!"

[A slow pull of the robe rope]

"Holy bejesus, Mrs. Dane! Those are your boobs then?"

[Tang, bounce, tang, bounce, sag, sag]

"Well, it's a normal development for women of my age, just like it's a normal development for a young adult such as yourself to hard over boobs, so?"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Aha, aha, aha, this is what I call a pre shower event, Jay, aha, aha, aha, oh, oh, ooh!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"OMG, my hair is getting from our sex sweat, Jay!"

[Thump, thump, pump, thrust, thrust, slam, pump, slam, slam, slam, ooh, oh, thump, pump, slam]

"Jay, Jay, stab me, Jay, stab me good, oh, oh, O, O, O, O, O, O, O, oh Jay!"

[Gush, squirt, blast, squirt, goop, stream, gush, squirt, sploosh, ooze, ahh, ooze, ooh, drizzle, ahh]

"[Wheeze, huff] now that's how good neighbors should treat each other, Jay!"