My friend Elise had been married to someone rich her whole life and taken care of. She is one of those women who just seems to attach herself to rich guys.
Now she found herself suddenly single. I guess she's divorced; she probably just got bored and moved on. That's her typical pattern.
Anyway now she has had to get a job and she hates it and is ready to catch her next Sugar Daddy so she can go back to her old lifestyle. She's gorgeous so I was sure it wouldn't be too hard for her.
She came by my office (I'm an HR director at a medium size corporate headquarters) and was quizzing me about the single guys in the office. I almost felt bad as she began focusing her attention on Brian, the socially awkward IT director.
"Let me see his resume." She asked. "And what does he make?"
"Elise, he makes very good money, but his strongest asset is probably his stock options. He's been here for ten years and easily has a few hundred grand, but, he's exactly not your type," I said. "He's shy and can barely talk to girls. It's almost a joke."
"Oh honey" she said, "Those are the best; once hooked they're yours forever. Show me the resume."
"I can't do that, but here is a profile of him from the company newsletter. That's available for anyone to see."
I kept going, "But he can't possibly have much experience with women; like I said some of the girls around here flirt with him just to watch him panic. If you make a move on him, he'll run away."
"Then the girls here are amateurs, she answered, "The key is to be irresistible and let him come to you. Men are so easy to play to. They're so easy to fool. You've just got to get them thinking with the little head instead of the big one."
"You're not listening. You're way to intimidating for him to even talk to. There are women here that aren't half as sexy as you that get him flustered," I tried to tell her.
"I can be anything to any guy. What you aren't understanding is that guys want to be fooled," she told me. "They are wanting to desperately find the type of girl that they're looking for, and they want it so badly that when they think they have found it, they don't even question it."
"Hmmm, Eagle Scout on his resume," she mumbled to herself while reading the article, "How adorable. He's no doubt looking to be a hero."
"Can you introduce us?" she asked me,
"Absolutely not," I said.
"C'mon," she continued, "Introduce us; if it doesn't work out, no harm is done. People introduce people all the time."
"Fine," I gave in and dialed his extension.
"IT Brian," he answered,
"Hi, Brian, it's me. Are you doing anything right now?" I asked.
"Just getting ready to run some stuff down to post office to send to the Houston office; I missed the mail today;what's up?"
"Can you swing by my office, I have something quick," I stammered, not knowing exactly what to say.
"Sure, give me 5 minutes," he replied and hung up.
As I hung up Elise asked me where the post office was and I told her about a block down on the left.
"Keep him here a couple of minutes and don't mention me," she said.
"What? You just told me to..." I started.
"I know, I know, just tell him your computer was acting weird but it's fine now." she instructed me.
She was putting her hair up into a bun as she spoke and then added, "Oh, come with him to the post office; you may learn a thing or two."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, but she just smiled and left my office.
After Brian checked my computer and found nothing, I explained that I would be happy to help him carry his stuff to the post office because I had some things to do there and he was fine with that.
We took the short walk there and entered. As we went up to the counter and sent the items, and I bought a few stamps just to make it seem like I needed to be there, I noticed Elise standing over by the self serve postage machine.
Before I could say anything, she put a finger to her lips and silently shhh'd me.
"Whatever," I thought to myself as we turned to leave.
As we were just about to pass her, she suddenly stomped her foot and says in baby talk, "I just can't figure this machiney thing out."
"What on earth," I thought.
"Oh, I can help you, no problem." I told her.
"Thank you but, I'm sure this nice man will be happy to help me. Men are so smart with electronics!" she softly smiled at him as she spoke.
At this point I noticed she looked much different than she had a half hour before. She was in a tasteful white blouse and a black skirt with stockings. It was the same thing she had been wearing but different. After a few seconds I realize that she has buttoned a couple of extra buttons up and pulled her hair up and is wearing glasses, which she never does. She had a sexy librarian look going on.
So, he goes to help her. And she keeps biting her thumb like she's about to suck it. And everytime he asks her a question, she answered in baby talk.
