"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times! You stupid monkey!" Aaron heard the quote from the unseen normal sized television in the living room. He was a bit nervous. He had come in boldly making a show of being welcoming to the apparently single woman living directly above his dearly rented abode.
The Simpsons quip helped him relax. The single woman had a name as -- let's say unplaceable -- as his own. His surname was Warner, and since a YA book had come out, he was stuck with being a pseudo celebrity. Especially in the eyes of cruelly abrasive teenagers that bussed tables or something. He had become a failed celebrity without even trying. It was a tad injurious to his self esteem.
The cartoon on syndication TV relaxed him though. The single woman, Julianne (Julianne what, had Aaron asked when greeting her at her own door. He didn't get an answer) was one year older than him. He was glad regarding that too. He privately thought that if his new neighbour had been the same age as him, them being together would feel too much like a reunion. And he avoided high school reunions like 'paludisme' -- oops, like malaria. He should stop thinking in French.
Julianne greeted him with a smile that dimmed the rays of the sun that had sneaked in through the half closed curtains, having gone past the smog first. She took the cold beer he offered. He smiled back, in a half simpering and half confident way. His new acquaintance was just an inch shy of being truly gorgeous.
She had been taking good care of her body. Despite being on the threshold of middle age, she definitely had an athletic build. Aaron thought that they would have made a cute couple. The veneer of her stunning, long brown hair did come from a bottle, but she was still ageing far more gracefully than your typical airheaded celebrity.
"Thanks, buddy," said the woman, tittering slightly as he raised an eyebrow.
"I must have made a good impression in such a short time," murmured Aaron.
"That you did," returned Julianne without missing a beat.
"Are you a fan of The Simpsons? I was, but not any more," he said, deliberately sitting legs splayed on the couch besides her.
"Same," she said. "I wonder whose death will it take to silence this show? I hope," she added, "we will not debate on the merits of TV programs for the rest of your stay here."
"Don't worry," said Aaron "I'm aware that I have a beautiful woman sitting next to me, in cutoff shorts, no less. Can I hold your hand?"
"Please."
He took her right hand and placed it on his flat tummy while she watched out of the corner of her eyes. Then like two complicit teenagers playing with an ouija board, they drew together and kissed for maybe 10 seconds. He realised her hand had slid to his sheathed manhood.
Julianne sighed into Aaron's mouth as his tongue made languorous contact with her tongue. Her breath tasted like strawberries and Budweiser. With one hand, the woman deftly extricated Aaron's prick from its shackles. This made him open his eyes. He saw up close that her brown eyes were flecked with gold. Then he smiled. Then, at the same time, both of them made themselves more horizontal on the couch. It was a large couch. They made themselves very horizontal and very comfortable. Then 'it' began.
It was the best blowjob in the man's life. She playfully fenced with his tip, then admitted him to heaven. She was in charge. It was the same ritual that billions of women have operated on men since time immemorial. He really thought she might be in the top 2 percentile. Aaron swore. After a while he suddenly pleaded, "Don't use too much spit."
"Mmmm," she concurred. Her head bobbed up and down rhythmically. She didn't need to accelerate the coda to know that his cum was boiling. Her partner groaned, and in 22-27 seconds, her cheeks reddened and bulged out not unlike the throat of a frigatebird. He blasphemed a fistful of times, while Julianne came up for air, looked at him in the eyes, and completed the task of swallowing his seed.
"I'd say!" she chirped.
This made both of them laugh. They laughed for quite a while! Julianne ran her tongue over the back of her front teeth as her throaty laugh subsided.
"You want some pie?" she asked.
"Seriously?" he exclaimed.
"Yeah!" she said. "It is baked now. Seemed like I timed it right."
"That was what I have been smelling, then."
"I'm confused now. Are you talking about the pie, my hair, or my pussy?"
Aaron choked down a budding laughter and quietly said that he needed a smoke. A surprised look came over Julianne, which she made disappear quicker than you can say Jimmy Hoffa.
