More than a month had passed since Kourtney confessed to her sister that she and I had been sleeping together. After ending the phone call that night, Kathy asked me if it was true, and I told her it was. She gave me just enough time to pack a bag before she kicked me out of the house. I went to stay with my mom, hoping we could somehow work things out, but quickly discovered there was no home.
Between very pointed phone calls from both her dad and her uncle and being served divorce papers, I knew it was over. I signed the papers and sent them back, and we got a future court date to settle everything. In the meantime, I was lucky enough, with some help, to get a small, one-bedroom apartment that I moved into.
My nights, especially the weekends, were now filled with video games and movies. I had only heard from Kourtney once, in a text saying that she was sorry. I wanted to be mad at her, but really, it was my fault that I let it go on so long. But I figured the less contact I had with her, at least for now, the better. I had thought about calling Jessica, but wasn't sure how that would go.
It was Friday night in mid-September, and I was sitting on the couch I had bought from the thrift store for twenty dollars when somebody knocked on my door. Living in an apartment complex where the door opened right up to the outside, I was nervous walking up to it. Looking through the peephole, I was a little surprised to see Kourtney standing there.
I opened up the door, and she said, "Hi, Danny." I said hi back very cautiously. She looked like she had been crying as she asked, "Can I come in?" I thought about it for a second before nodding my head yes and stepping aside, closing the door after she walked in.
I only had one couch, plus a few chairs at the dining table. I pointed her to the couch, while I went to pull a chair into the living room and sat down on it. "Do you hate me?" Kourtney asked me, wiping a tear away from her face.
I sat in silence for a few seconds before she said, "I wouldn't blame you if you did. I've ruined your whole life just because I wanted to be selfish. I'm such a moron."
"How did Gary find out?" I asked her.
"He must have been suspicious for a while, because he kept bugging me for details about what we did the night we arrived in Chicago. I kept telling him that we just ate and watched TV. I finally snapped at him and asked if he wanted to hear about you fucking my guts out, and when he said yes, I admitted it," Kourtney said. "I never thought he would have reacted the way he did."
"I don't hate you, Kourtney. I never could. It takes two for us to do what we did," I told her.
"I know. But, still, I'm the one that kept pushing for more and finding excuses for us to be together," she said.
"Oh well. So, are you and Gary done? Or are you going to try to work things out?" I asked her.
"We went to one therapy session, and a lot of things came out, both about me and him. He filed for divorce the next day," she said, wiping another tear away.
"What is the rest of the family thinking? Hating me and you? Are your parents still mad at you?" I asked.
"I think that my dad is just disappointed and was blaming himself. Mom is just in shock; she says she doesn't want to talk about it but brings it up all the time. Jack called me an idiot. Katie said to make sure her name stays out of it," Kourtney said, leaning back on the couch.
I sat back on the chair and looked at Kourtney. Her long, brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she was wearing a loose-fitting gray t-shirt and black leggings. She looked around at my tiny apartment and said, "This stinks so bad. I never wanted this to happen."
"Me either," I said, taking a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, Danny. I never should have come over without asking first. I'm sure I'm the last person you want to see," Kourtney said as she started to stand up.
"Actually, it's kind of nice to have the company. I'm sorry; I just wasn't expecting you. Have you eaten? Do you need a drink?" I said, standing up too. She said that a bottle of water would be great, and she followed me into my tiny kitchen. I handed her a water bottle from my fridge, and she took it.
After taking a drink, she said, "So, how are you doing? I've been thinking about you a lot and hoping you weren't beating yourself up too much."
"I'm doing OK," I answered her. "I'm glad that I was able to find my own place; I think that's helped a lot. We have a court date in a few weeks to work out all the custody stuff, and I'm pretty nervous about how that will go. But I think I'm doing good besides that."
We moved back to the living room, and this time I joined Kourtney on the couch. We continued to talk about how our lives had changed until Kourtney finished her drink and we both got quiet. She leaned her head down and said, "Can I tell you a secret?" I said, of course, and she said, "Well, I guess there's two. The first one, after I confessed everything to Kathy and sobered up the next day, I was actually happy, thinking that me and you wouldn't have to sneak around any more. Then I realized you probably wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore."
"What's the second?" I asked.
"I get drunk almost every night, get horny, and fuck myself while thinking about you," she said, her head still down.
"Are you drunk now?" I asked her.
"No. I did have one beer at my house before coming over. But I'm not drunk," she confessed.
"Kourtney, why did you come over here?" I asked.
"I don't know," she said, starting to cry.
I got up from the couch and said, "Kourtney, be honest with me. Did you come over here because you're horny?"
Kourtney put her head in her hands and nodded it, saying yes at the same time. I walked into the kitchen for a moment before going back into the living room. Kourtney had gotten up from the couch and said, "I'm sorry. It was dumb for me to come over. I'll go."
As she went to walk to the door, I reached out and grabbed her arm. Kourtney looked up at me as I pulled her towards me. When she was close enough, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to my body. Before she could question me, I moved my head toward hers and kissed her lips.
