Originally this was three separate parts. I've put them together and am hoping to continue writing this story so that I can bring it to a satisfactory conclusion in the coming weeks. Thanks for your time and support.
Also, and this is so embarrassing, I've literally never given the narrator a name. Let that haunt you as you read. Because it continues to haunt me.
*****
Morning comes and Camilla is still next to me. The night before is still prominent in my mind. My arms are wrapped around her pale form and she's snuggled tight. A peace rests around her smile. I don't feel the same. I want to feel the same.
There's a vibration behind me. My phone is in the palm of my hand clicking through to Claire's text. I take a moment. I can hear John in my head. Admonishing me for not giving in to the obvious truth.
Claire... As far as I could tell had no flaws. She was the sound of ocean waves at midnight. Her presence filling a room entirely. A smile as big as planets.
It felt like I'd be waiting a life time to see her again. Even when I was with somebody else. She was the girl I was thinking about.
So it filled me with joy when she asked me to go to get coffee with her on Sunday.
I agreed readily. How could I say no?
After hitting send I wrapped my arms around Camilla once more. I breathed in her scent and smiled. We had both made each other at least a little happier. And that's worth something.
Hours later she turned to me and kissed me with a smile.
"It's not bad waking up to somebody like you." She said.
Our kiss broke after thirty seconds. She got out of bed and bent over to pick up her purple panties. I could just see her pussy lips. Images played in my head. A recollection of the night before.
Camilla left around ten in the afternoon. I had made her breakfast. Her scarcely covered body would occasionally lean into my right shoulder. It was her way of connecting with me. The other small subtleties. When she ran her fingers over the top of my right hand, up my forearm. The soft way she would scratch my back as she walked by.
The morning was mostly spent putting clothes on. But there was something I liked about it. I hadn't lived with anybody for very long. Rashana had come into my life for a nine month period. I sometimes wonder if she just used me. But this didn't feel that way. Camilla fit. In a way that Rashana hadn't.
I met her while rock climbing. We were inside the gym and I asked her about the problem set she was solving. It was a V8. I had only ever reached a V4.
When she came down from the wall she pushed her black hair away from her face. Her slim legs moved her elegantly to the edge of the mat. I pointed towards the wall.
"Maybe you could hook your foot and use the crimp for balance."
She barely looked over.
"Thanks."
I'd see her again for the next few weeks. Each time we'd make a little more chitter chatter. And each time I got to know just a little more about her.
The worst thing happening in Rashana's life at that time was her abusive ex. He had nearly taken over her life.
He made her quit her job. After which he controlled all the money she could get access to. If he didn't approve every single expenditure he would go beserk. Rashana told me how he had held her down by the throat. How she asked him to stop. How he just didn't. He didn't stop and then he fucked her.
I can't tell you why these words came out of my mouth. Can't even tell you I thought about it. The words existed before their own thought.
"Do you need somewhere else to live?"
Right away she set a boundary. We weren't dating. She was just a traveller passing through. If I tried anything funny she would leave. Her life was already complicated enough.
Those were her words but as we lived together it became apparent she couldn't practice what she preached.
She would walk around our apartment in these tight boyshorts. On days we cleaned the house, I would find myself face to face with them.
Rashan would walk around naked. Her cute breasts would hang out openly. There were times I couldn't help but stare and she said nothing.
The two of us were almost too much for my small studio. There was only a separate room for the bathroom. Otherwise we were always in sight of each other.
For the first month Rashana slept on my tiny futon. Every morning I'd hear complaints about how uncomfortable it was.
I told Rashana that if she's staying in my house for free, she shouldn't complain. That shut her up. At least verbally. Because she didn't bring it back up again.
Instead, one night, I woke up to her body. I put my hand on her hips and she didn't stop me. I pulled her close and pushed my pelvis into her butt. She protested. Turning around telling me no with angry enthusiasm.
At first she would wear full body pajamas, but overtime she wore less and less. It began with her shirt. She started wearing only a sports bra and eventually nothing. I would wake up with her nipples pushed up against the fabric of my shirt. Her head would be tucked into her body. It looked like she was trying to stay warm at night. Each night she closer.
And thankfully, more naked.
Her boyshorts were the last to go. After those were gone her ass would be pushed up against my cock. She'd only stop if she felt me get hard. Up until that point I could do almost anything. She would even let me cup her tits with my hands.
The hardest part of living so close to Rashana was the lack of space to masturbate. It started getting to me. If I did it in the shower Rashana would get impatient. The knocking would begin on the door and my hard on would be gone.
"What are you doing in there!?" Rashana said.
"Uh--I'm just--"
"Jacking off?"
It had been an entire two months since I had jacked off. Rashana had been laid off from her job and she was always home. The only chance I had was the toilet but her bowels always had the most terrible timing.
"I am actually!" The knocking stopped. I had finally shut her up.
"Open the door." Rashana said.
"What?" I replied meekly.
"Get the fuck out here."
I must have pissed of Rashana. She had told me from day one if I got weird she would leave me. masturbating in the same house as her must have made her feel weird. I had crossed that invisible line.
When I stepped out she was totally naked.
"What?" I asked.
"Shut up and get naked on your bed."
