She watched her mother chuck the vase at the latest man to fall for her special level of crazy. He ducked just in time, and the vase shattered against the wall. She cringed. Why this one? Why him?
This wasn't surprising behavior of course. She had grown up with the revolving door of men in her mother's life. Her mother was easy to love, passionate and creative with a great sense of humor! But like clockwork, maybe six months in, they began to notice the other details--the instability, paranoia, irrationality. And that is when the fighting began.
She had grown so used to it, that she hardly paid attention to the men anymore. That is, until Jack. Jack didn't come barrelling into their lives like the others, demanding attention and respect just for existing. He wasn't all over her mother nonstop like the rest of them either. He was...respectful, kind, and thoughtful. She genuinely enjoyed being around him, which was unlike any other man her mother had brought home.
And now he was going to leave. And why wouldn't he? He just had to swerve out of the way of an ash tray. What good man--and she was sure he was a good man--would stick around for this kind of abuse?
Her mother had just stormed out and slammed the front door. She heard the car start up (after a couple tries, how embarrassing!) and squeal out of the drive way. Only three more months, she reminded herself. Then I'll be at college; I'll finally be free!
"Are you ok?" She startled at the voice behind her and turned to find Jack's stormy blue eyes gazing at her, full of concern.
"You're asking me?" She fumbled. "I wasn't the target for every glass object in the house!"
He chuckled softly. "Yeah, I kinda figured that would happen sooner or later. You start to see the signs when you've dated for awhile.
"I'm just worried about you." His eyes met hers again, and she felt her heartbeat quicken.
"It's...it's normal. I mean, it's always been this way. I'm just...I'm sorry it's happening to you."
"Oh?" He snickered and gave her a sly smile. "You like me eh? Wanna keep me around?"
She flushed with embarrassment before she could stop herself. His eyes on hers, his sincere smile, his genuine care for her...
"It's ok, I was just joking around," he added quickly, trying to end the awkward silence.
"Oh I know," she stammered. "I just...I do like you. You've been great to have around. And now you're gonna leave..."
"Oh hey, that's ok. I'm not heartbroken. Your mom and I weren't in love or anything. And we can still--"
"What? Text? Go to the park? C'mon. That's not realistic. I get it. But I will miss you. It's been great." She turned her face away to hide the tears starting to well up in her eyes, but his hand gently caught her chin and brought her eyes back to his.
"It has been great," he said assuredly. "And you deserve those text messages and trips to the park and.."
Her eyes drifted down to his lips as he spoke and as he noticed the words left his head. They sat there for a moment in silence, feeling the air shift between them. She looked back up into his eyes, which were right there waiting for her.
"Jack, I--" She started but then he rose quickly.
"Beth, I should go."
He started to walk away and then paused.
"Is your mom gonna be back?"
She scoffed. "Not tonight. Maybe in the next couple days. After a night like this, she usually spends the rent at the casino for a few."
"Damn. You just gonna be here by yourself?" He rubbed his neck, looking uncomfortable with the idea.
"You don't have to worry about it. It's just...life. no biggy. It's not like I'm a child."
"No, you're not..." His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat suddenly. "Still, I can stay tonight. I'll stay in the guest room, just so you're not alone. I can go in the morning. Night Beth..."
She watched him head upstairs as his words echoed in her mind, I can go in the morning. She sighed. Why did the idea of him leaving hurt so much? The image of his lips came back to her then. The touch of his hand on her face and the feeling deep deep down when he gazed into her eyes. Though she had never admitted it before, not even to herself, she no longer felt the deny it. She wanted Jack in her life. Not as her stepdad. She was too old for that anyway. No, she wanted Jack with a longing, a yearning. Like a parched man in desert thirsts for water.
She thirsted for Jack.
For the first time, she allowed herself to really consider him. His features, oh how she loved every feature! His smooth, olive skin glowed when he smiled, and what a breathtaking smile it was. Sort of lopsided, it was quirky and adorable, and she couldn't help but smile back when they were together. His black hair was always disheveled, like he'd just gotten out of bed, but in such an endearing way! Traveling down with her mind's eye to his arms, his torso, she felt the pace of her heart increase. He wasn't some Calvin Klein model, and she wouldn't be interested if he was. But his form had lean muscle from what she could tell, even though it was constantly covered in fitting sweaters with pushed up sleeves. And below that? She could only dare to dream.
Or could she?
I can go in the morning, he'd said. So that only left tonight.
