I have learned many things over the years. The first one is to always volunteer to help. The second one is to expect great surprises in the most unusual places. Both of these rules are key elements to what I am about to share.
I am a Chaplin at our local hospital. I have been there for over ten years tending to the needs of the sick and dying patients in our community. Fortunately, most people have no clue as to what I really do, so I get volunteered to help out in the oddest places.
Some days I may be serving ice cream to the staff, or judging a chili cook-off. This year I was volunteered to be the hospital Santa at the last minute. Every year our facility holds a charity dinner for the staff. We all gather to celebrate the holidays, rejoice at our year and get to know each other outside our scrubs and robes of our daily lives. Each staff member and their spouse bring a toy for the kids at the local mission. We also have Santa available to give gifts to the staff while he harasses them. The fun part is guessing who is Santa.
This year Dr. Austin was to be Santa. He is the head surgeon for Pediatrics. It seemed appropriate for him to be Santa since he knows most everyone and is well liked by all. Dr. Austin was dressed in his red suit and ready to go out to greet everyone at the party. That is when fate took control and the evening changed.
As Chaplin, I am usually the one expected to remain sober at this party. I am also the one to look for anyone if they are needed. My pager went off. The message was that Dr. Austin was needed in the OR immediately. There was a child who was involved in a bad accident and was being rushed to surgery. I found him in the back room. His wife and his Office Manager Mary were finishing getting him ready to go out and fool with the staff.
I walked in and Doc gave me a look as if he knew what I wanted. He excused his wife and office manager telling them to go out to the party, we will be right there. Once they left he asked what was wrong.
"Sorry Doc. They need you back at the hospital. You know you are on call." I instructed.
"Will you take my place Scott? Besides, only my wife and Mary my office manager know it is supposed to be me. No one will ever guess you are Santa this year." Replied Dr. Austin.
We quickly undressed. Dr. Austin put his suit back on, and I donned the big red suit. No one will ever know about the last minute change.
As Dr. Austin left, he asked me to make sure his wife made it home safely tonight. She would be upset to learn of his sudden call back to work. I assured him I would get her the message.
As he left thru the back door, I made my entry into the party. With a lot of Ho-Ho and Merry Christmas, I walked around the room greeting people. It is amazing how bold you can become when no one knows it is you behind the beard. Apparently word leaked that Santa was to be Dr. Austin. Several of his day's surgical team whispered in my ear.
"You look great Mark. No one will ever know it was you." whispered his lead tech. She then squeezed my butt and walked off.
Surprised at this forwardness, I stopped in my tracks. No one has ever grabbed me before.
We went thru the usual party ritual. I collected toys and then asked staff to line up to tell Santa if they had been naughty or nice. Also to give them an envelope with a voucher for a turkey at the local grocery store. Seemed word had gotten out about Mark Austin as Santa. All the nurses and female staff lined up for a chance to sit on Santa's lap.
By this point, everyone had been drinking wine most of the evening. Everyone was wearing their finest party clothes and feeling frisky. Many of the ladies wore short skirts. Some of them even hiked their dresses up so they could sit on Santa's lap. One of the ladies made a big deal about hiking up her dress and wiggled into my lap as she sat down. This was Karen. She was the charge nurse on the Pediatric unit.
