Pippa

From the safety of the printer I saw their relationship form, and it was excruciatingly painful.

Jason was tall, handsome, well built and extremely confident. He seemed to flirt with everyone, and was either single or just didn't care.

Maybe they are just friends I told myself over and over again, but I knew that wasn't the truth. Seeing him sitting down at her desk, I saw her transform from a diligent worker who always kept her head down, to a smiley flirty girl. They were so at ease with each other. Teasing and joking. I was invisible to them.

My fantasy world was crumbling around me. Gone were the idle thoughts about us watching movies together. I had been replaced by Jason in my own daydreams. It didn't take long before I started jerking off at the thoughts. It wasn't conscious at first.

I was watching some porn and in my mind the girl became Pippa and the man became Jason. It was always as I neared orgasm when it happened. It made me cum so hard. The first time I searched a video with a girl that looked like Pippa I felt so ashamed, but it wasn't long before I was in the throes of sexual ecstasy. It was a habit now, and I was searching out fantasies in office settings. Each time it was Jason banging Pippa.

I knew deep down reality wouldn't be as sweet, watching them together turned my stomach. Perhaps it was my body's way of coping, or maybe I was just a glutton for punishment.

**********

There was a problem with my PC, so I put in a ticket to the IT help desk. Later that day, Emma casually sauntered over.

"What's up Dave?" She asked simply.

It had always astounded me that such a hot girl had found her way into IT. I guess I shouldn't judge these days. It was the twenty-first century after all. To her credit she did know her stuff, so there were never any rumours of getting the job by other means.

I told her my problem, and she began to work. I kept a respectful distance. I knew Jim always enjoyed her fixing his machine, which suspiciously was always breaking down. I avoided gazing at her, I thought she'd appreciate my restraint.

"Um, so I noticed you and Jason getting friendly." I said as casually as I could muster. I'd hoped that maybe they had indeed hit it off and were keeping an affair secret.

She snorted. "Did he tell you that?"

"Well not really." I said

"He thinks he's a player, I can see his type coming from a mile off." She said dismissively. "All done."

I wanted to ask her about him and Pippa, but was afraid of the answer. I thanked her and watched her head into the kitchen. It wasn't the answer I wanted.

**********

Jason would sometimes say hello to me. The over confidence and presumed familiarity made my skin crawl. I thought about trying to ween myself off Pippa, but I was always drawn back to the printer. As I walked over I felt a frog in my throat and my heart racing, would Jason be there? He wasn't, I guess I wasn't disappointed. It was nice to see Pippa alone, dutifully getting on with her work. I bet she only humours Jason. What is she going to do, tell him to get lost. As my printing finished, my fears were answered as he walked past her desk, she almost sprang to attention as she swiveled her chair. There was a big smile on her face, as she said hello. He cheerfully returned her greeting, but didn't stop thankfully. What really squeezed my heart was that she didn' t return to her work immediately. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard as she took little glances towards him.

I looked in his direction and saw him chatting with Emma. Back to Pippa now, I saw a twinge of sadness and disappointment in her face. It broke my heart. I felt unease in my knees, abandoning my printing, I took an unsteady walk towards the sanctuary of the disabled toilet.

Sitting on the toilet with my head in my hands, her feelings were clear to me now. He was probably flirting with Emma while Pippa fantasied about him, I thought.

I felt a familiar stirring in my trousers. In my mind Pippa was on her knees in front of me, looking up at me with her big soulful eyes. Her full lips trembling in anticipation, but it wasn't me sitting on the toilet, it was Jason. He was a player, and girls flocked to him, especially girls like Pippa. Her delicate hands were stroking his bulge while she looked at him lovingly. He just smirked.

I unzipped and started stroking myself. Pippa was stroking too, but it was Jason's cock that she was attending too. Confidently and with experience he pulled her head down, sliding his cock into her warm and willing mouth. She moaned and I came.

I felt dirty and ashamed, but the thought wouldn't leave my head. I cleaned myself up and returned to my desk. Even after that big release I felt a semi in my trousers and knew I'd be visiting the toilets again today.

**********

As Christmas approached my trips to the toilets became a habit. Each time in my mind Jason would be banging Pippa in a variety of ways. Afterwards I would have some semblance of clarity, and could get on with my work albeit with less energy.

"Hey Dave." Jim said as he approached.

"Um, hiya"

He propped himself on the desk, and dangled a large envelope in front of me. "Secret Santa." He proclaimed.

I dipped my hand into it, feeling for a name. "How come you are doing it?" I asked, thinking he must have been forced to do something that he wasn't getting paid for.

He winked. "He who controls the secret Santa, controls who gets picked." He said and patted his shirt pocket. He has obviously picked Emma for himself.

I pulled out a name and raised an eyebrow at him.

He chuckled. "I wanted to get Emma some knickers."

I gave him a disapproving look, but he assured me it was all in good fun, and it was just to see the look on her face.

As he left, I absently minded opened my slip of paper. I was dreading it would be Jason, and my heart leapt when I saw Pippa's name.

My mind raced with thoughts and ideas. Could this be my chance to impress her. My sexual fantasies about Pippa and Jason had been extinguished, replaced by hope.

I scoured the internet all night, It was going to be a tough buy as we only had a limited amount of money to spend. I smiled as I searched through the lists of gift ideas from various websites. I was looking forward to Christmas now.

**********

I got into the office quite late, having spent most of the night looking for the perfect gift. I hated to admit if but I didn't really know anything about what Pippa liked. With her having no social media presence it was a tough task. I went for my morning coffee to find Jason in there. He said hello, I just mumbled a response. It felt very uncomfortable being in there with him. I kept my back to him as I made my drink.

"So who did you get for the secret Santa?" He asked. "Promise I won't tell." He said smugly.

I felt my face redden, I don't know why I told him it was Pippa, but I did.

"Oh Pippa, yeah." I hated him saying her name. "Get her something with dolphins on it, she loves dolphins." He said, and walked out.

I took a few moments to collect myself, I dropped my coffee off at my desk and made a beeline for the toilets. I knew what I was going to do, and couldn't stop myself.

I couldn't form a fantasy in my head, it was just a collection of images. It was me giving Pippa's name to Jason. Her face blushing as she opened the expensive knickers he gave her. Modeling them for him. His strong hands pulling them to the side, and sliding his cock into her. She was on her back squealing as he fucked her harder and harder.

I was covered in sweat and was panting gently. I opened my wallet and took the slip of paper out. I stroked my finger over Pippa's name. A tear rolled down my cheek.

**********

I knew it was a losing game trying to find a gift now. My sexual fantasies had returned with fresh vigor. It was going to be something with dolphins on it, just as Jason had suggested. On my lunch break I went into the town and picked out a necklace with a small silver dolphin pendant. It was well over my budget, as I didn't want to buy just some tat.

Emma had seemed to taken on the role of decorator for the office, something I imagined she did just to get out of work. I watched her work herself around the office putting up tinsel and other decorations. Being single at Christmas was never any fun, and I didn't see my situation changing anytime soon. I wondered if Jim was really going to get Emma some underwear, seeing the look on both of their faces was something to look forward to, I guess.

The Christmas email came around, I responded with my meal choice, and sent it back. I did consider not going, but not knowing would be so much worse. It was all booked in for a few days before Christmas, a big meal, and then a disco afterward.

**********

The big day rolled around, I took the afternoon off to get ready. I would have taken the whole day off, but I had to drop off my secret Santa gift to the ever increasing pile.

It was Friday, so no need to worry about hangovers. They had booked a hotel in the center of town, it was the same one we went to last year. It was a nice enough place, I thought. To say I was nervous as I entered was a big understatement. I saw a throng of people chatting, but I didn't see many familiar faces among them. I headed to the bar. After a few sips of my drink a pair of hands squeezed my shoulders making me jump. It was Jim.

"Merry Christmas mate." He said jovially, I guessed he had been drinking beforehand.

We chatted, and I asked him if he had bought Emma some lingerie, he just tapped his nose and told me to wait and see. All our Christmas parties were open to guests, some brought them some didn't. If I were married I can't imagine wanting to go to a party entirely populated by strangers. As a couple of bachelors Jim and myself held court at the bar watching people entering. There were the usual faces, and a few higher bosses from other branches I had never seen before.

Then Pippa arrived. She looked stunning, heels, black and white dress that showed off her shoulders. Her face was made up too, far more than usual. The look almost didn't suit her personality, but she looked like an angel to me. I don't think Jim noticed her, but I gave her my best smile in hopes of catching her attention. She looked right through me, and went off to join a bigger group.

I was disappointed, even Jim's crude jokes couldn't raise my spirits. Then suddenly he stopped talking, and his face dropped. He pointed with his chin, and I saw Emma and her boyfriend entering.

"I may have just misjudged my joke present." He said in mock horror and we both laughed.

I was surprised she had brought her fella, but with a beauty like that, I guess he might have been the suspicious type. Hopefully the sacristy of the secret Santa stayed intact as her boyfriend looked huge. I checked my watch, the meal was starting soon, and there was no Jason. Maybe he had better things to do, I pondered. I knew it was beyond hope though. My fears were answered as we started to be seated, he entered looking very dapper. A full suit no less. With his looks he could pull off being over dressed. I noticed more than a few of the ladies complimenting him on his outfit.

Jim sat to my left as we had our dinner, it was hard to taste anything, and I had trouble swallowing. My appetite had gone. My gaze would always wander to Pippa and Jason who were sat together. Her giggles and his smile caused me to sweat hard. I felt so trapped.

Just before the pudding, the gifts were handed out. I saw my little present being given to Pippa.

I tried to concentrate on mine. Someone had bought me a coffee cup with a happy little cat on it. I looked it over, I just didn't know what it was supposed to mean.

"Maybe it was a regift." Jim said, obviously noticing my confusion.

I looked over to Emma, and she looked furious, her boyfriend didn't look too pleased either. What ever it was, she wasn't making a show of what she had got.

"A maids outfit." Jim whispered. "And for Christs sake, keep your mouth shut." I simply shook my head.

I turned towards Pippa, just in time to see Jason fastening the dolphin necklace around her neck. She seemed overjoyed. That was a good idea I thought, buy her something to make her happy. What an idiot.

We were eventually ushered into the ballroom for the disco. Jim abandoned me to try to chat up a girl in accounts. Left on my own I found a perch from where I could torture myself further. I kept an eye on the dance floor. Emma and her man seemed to make it their home. People would drift in and out joining the couple. It wasn't long before Pippa and Jason were dancing too. It was almost inevitable. I knew it was all leading to this. My ultimate destiny was finally reached as he pulled her close to him, leaned in and began kissing her. I was transfixed as she melted into his arms, oblivious to those around them. His hands drifted up and down her back. Eventually they stopped and taking her hand, he led her away.

There was an amazing pressure in my chest as I saw them disappearing down a corridor that I knew led to the toilets. I wanted to follow so much, but my legs wouldn't respond.

I once again checked my watch, my hand shaking each time. It had been fifteen minutes when finally they emerged, her hair was a little mussed up and she was beaming. He had a sly little smile on his face. Maybe they had just been kissing, but no, that was for the dance floor. They had gone somewhere private for more than that.

I imagined him coming up to me and describing their fucking, but that would never happen.

Part of me wanted to run up and punch him. Such a stupid idea though. I'd likely get the sack. What would even be my excuse. She obviously wanted him. Someone like me can't stand in the way of that.

I just got up and left, I felt numb and cold. I knew I would be masturbating later tonight. My imagination would fill in all the sordid details.

Just Christmas alone for me now, the yearly bottle of whisky from my father and dinner for one.