Alex ran her fingers along the smooth wooden railing as she tiptoed down the stairs leading to Petrov's foyer. It was so early, too early in fact. She had awoken to the sound of a snowplow noisily driving by on the street below. The fire had died down to coals and cast a warm glow over the bed she shared with Petrov. Her hand rested lightly on his chest, gentle fingers bent as Petrov's heart beat solidly and peacefully while he slept.
She watched him for almost an hour, her eyes tracing the softened lines of his face. He made no noise in his sleep; just the low sound of his breath could be heard in the shadowy room. At one point Alex saw his eyes flutter beneath his lids, and she wondered of what he was dreaming. Was it of her? Was his mind replaying earlier events of their passion in a foggy vision of his unconscious mind? But Alex had no more opportunity for answers now than when he was awake staring at her through carefully guarded eyes.
Gently moving his arm so she could slip away, she reluctantly pulled herself from his tender grasp. Petrov frowned and Alex hesitated, but the moment passed quickly and his face resumed the same passive quality as it had been a few seconds before. She looked at the clock. Five a.m. Though she desperately wanted to stay, the fear of how he would behave when he woke was enough to convince her to leave. Having sex with someone was one thing; waking in their arms was another. Alex was afraid that he'd regret keeping her in his bed. It would be best if she were to go.
So Alex stood quietly by the door, watching through the window for the cab that would return her to her cold apartment. When it pulled up along the curb in front, Alex smoothly slid outside, closing the door softly behind her. She wasn't sure, but she had thought that she heard one of the stairs creak behind her as she left. She dared not to look back.
*****
Alex spent the rest of the weekend doing mundane chores and running silly errands. She tried to keep busy; she tried not to think of Petrov. She hadn't heard from him, of course, nor did she expect to. This seemed to be their habit, she supposed. They would fuck and part; she would avoid him and he would refuse to seek her out. Eventually one would reach for the other and the process would repeat. This appeared to be the way it was going to be.
Spring break was coming, and Alex looked forward for the week's break from school. She sat restless in her classes, struggling to pay attention to each subject, to participate dutifully, and to fulfill the requirements of each course. Yet her mind wandered constantly, thinking of Petrov. Did he think about her as well? She sadly considered that she was most likely a diversion, someone who had obviously provided him with what he needed at no cost.
The Friday before the upcoming vacation, Alex sat in her history class idly doodling spirals on her notebook. Class wouldn't start for another fifteen minutes. She listened to the endless chatter of the other students, not really paying much attention until she overheard Petrov's name. A group of girls gathered around the front desk. They were young, nineteen perhaps, and typical of the area. Their hair was long and straight, brushed back and shiny, their perfect petite shapes obvious in too-tight sweaters and low-cut jeans. They looked like a goddamned GAP commercial.
The tallest one had mentioned Petrov's name and Alex paused in her drawing to listen.
"So who is he?" a girl named Erica asked.
"You remember him," the tall girl told her. "He was the guy who gave the lecture a few weeks ago on Russia or something."
"Oh 'him'!" Erica nodded. "Yeah, he was kind of good-looking, in a mean I'm-too-good-for-you sort of way. He had really light eyes, almost silvery. I kept looking at them."
"So what about him?" another girl interjected.
"He's teaching here this coming fall. I guess he's doing some sort of poli sci class."
"He isn't a history teacher?"
"No, well, I don't think so. I guess he's doing something on Soviet politics. Who knows?" The tall girl shrugged.
"What's his story?" The fourth petite princess finally spoke up.
"Don't know. He's not married, and I guess he's here alone, no girlfriend. I haven't heard much about him."
That's unusual for this campus, Alex thought a bit bitterly. Most everyone knew—or assumed that they knew—everyone else's business. It was the downside of attending a smaller university.
"I wonder if he's worth taking. I bet he's hard."
"He might be fun to look at though," silly Erica giggled.
"Yeah right."
The conversation ended then, and Alex was left once again in her quiet but troubled thoughts. The girls really hadn't said much, but it unnerved her that they were talking about Petrov so casually. She shook her head at herself for being bothered about something so trivial.
Dr. Allen arrived in time to put everyone in their seats. Before he started class, however, he called to Alex.
"Ms. Caine? Dr. Petrov asked me to give you this." Dr. Allen walked to Alex's desk and handed her an envelope. Alex took it with quivering fingers and set it on her desktop. She felt the eyes of the four girls upon her but kept her eyes on her notes. She smiled slightly as class began.
*****
