I knew, when I asked Tom, "what does she look like?", and he answered to the effect that she had a "great personality", that Kiri would be fat. I knew it! It's a Universal code-word, and only an idiot doesn't know it. Right? But Tom is my oldest and best friend, and I gave him the benefit of doubt when he assured me that I would like her. So, I agreed to a blind date.
The thought crossed my mind that if she was so great, why did she need to be fixed up? But then again, I was being fixed up, too, so I guess I didn't have much room to talk. So, what code words did Ellen (Tom's wife) use on her cousin Kiri, to describe me, to make me look like less of a loser? "Casual"? Slob! "Survived a bad marriage"? Burned-out divorcee! "Nice Guy"? Loser!
Okay, so I wasn't in the best of spirits in those days. Maybe it would do me some good to get back out on the market. I decided I would make the best of things, and not let negative thinking get in the way of Kiri and I both having a good time. And who knows? Maybe she'd be a knockout. Maybe, even if she wasn't, we'd get along, and I'd make a friend. It was with this positive outlook that I set out to meet Kiri.
I was to meet Tom, Ellen, and Kiri at a local bar, first, where we would have a couple of drinks, and then take a taxi to dinner. This, I suppose, was to give me, or Kiri for that matter, one last chance to bail out, before being stuck for the whole evening.
Tom walked up to me, where I was standing at the bar. Ellen and Kiri were in the lady's room, so we went ahead to grab a table, and wait for them. Nervous as a cat, I sat and talked to Tom for what seemed like hours, before the ladies finally emerged from the washroom.
My first glance confirmed my suspicions. She was, indeed, over-weight. I didn't let my expression betray my disappointment. I was determined not to be the shallow asshole that I was feeling like at that moment. Sure, she was a big woman, but that didn't mean she didn't have feelings, and I wasn't going to make her feel like shit for being bigger than average.
Tom introduced us, and I smiled, shaking her hand. We sat and made small-talk while waiting for our server to take our drink order. Nothing deep, mind you. As I said; small-talk. But I started noticing something about Kiri. She did have a great personality! She was friendly, cheerful, and had intelligence and a sense of humor. Her laugh came easy and light, and it had a very pleasant timbre. She wasn't withdrawn and shy, and she didn't hide behind tent-like clothing. On the contrary; Kiri carried herself with a "fuck the world if they don't like my body" confidence, and when I started looking at her with more open eyes, I could see that she really was a knockout!
Why didn't I see it when she first walked over to our table!? She had her beautiful long dark hair pulled back in a bun, with curly tendrils of it hanging loose, framing a very pretty face. Bright sparkling green eyes gazed right into mine, and her lips were full and red, with a hint of mischief behind her smile. And I started to see her, not as a "fat lady", but as a sexy, voluptuous woman!
And it didn't hurt in the least that we seemed to have everything in common. Our music, our social and political beliefs, our hobbies; everything meshed perfectly! By the time dinner was over, we were laughing together like old friends, and we were holding hands in the cab on the way back to the bar to pick up our cars.
I took Tom aside, when Kiri and Ellen went inside to the washroom, and thanked him most sincerely for setting up this evening. And at his suggestion, I offered to drive Kiri home. I was thrilled when she said yes.
She invited me inside for coffee, when I walked her to her door, and I happily went in with her. We talked for hours, about everything from our childhood, to our favorite TV shows, to our hopeless dreams for the future.
