I've always hated going to the barber. Maybe it dates to some traumatic event in my childhood, like being dragged there screaming by my mother. Truthfully, I just don't know, I just know that all through my school years I hated going to the barber.
After graduating I moved out of Sydney to start my first job. In my local corner store, I saw an ad on the community notice board for a hairdresser who worked from home near me. I called her for an appointment and that was how I first met Inge.
I visited Inge at her home salon every four to six weeks for several years. For the first time getting my hair cut was a pleasure rather than a chore.
The first time I visited, Inge led me into the kitchen where all the tools of her trade were laid out. I liked that there was no mirror and I didn't have to sit staring at myself for 20 minutes. Inge was friendly, warm and very pretty. She had beautiful smooth skin, a mouth that smiled easily and curves that drew my eye immediately.
Inge was someone I looked forward to spending time with every few weeks. My shift work meant that I generally visited in the morning when her husband was at work. I met her husband on occasions and it puzzled my how such a stunning, vivacious woman could be married to such a dull and dorky man. It takes all types.
Sitting in Inge's kitchen chair and having her walk around me and trim my hair was always a pleasure. We talked about any kind of news of the day, nothing too personal, but it was always quality time.
One day when I arrived and was pleased to notice her husband's car missing from beside the house Inge seemed a little different when she greeted me. "Come in Larry", she welcomed me as always but her tone seemed different.
In the kitchen she put the hairdresser's cape over me and started with some small talk, "How's work, been promoted again lately"? I had told her about my minor promotion at my previous visit.
I wanted to ask if there was anything wrong, but somehow didn't quite know how to approach the subject. Inge continued with her work and seemed a little quieter than normal. For the first time in all my visits I didn't notice how wonderful she smelt. Instead I noticed every time her thighs touched my arm or the curve of her breast brushed me as she moved around.
"Is everything OK, Inge? You seem a little distracted"
She came around in front of me and pulled the cape off. She gave me a mirror to check the finished cut and seemed relieved to blurt out "He's left me".
"Your husband? What, today?"
"No, it was a couple of weeks ago but I've tried not to burden my customers with it."
I knew that as I pulled some cash from my wallet I should just say "sorry" and leave her to her personal problems. But I had really grown to care about her and wanted to help if there was some way. "You know, I don't have much experience with this sort of thing, but if you'd like to talk about it then I would like to listen. If you'd like to go for a coffee maybe it would help to tell someone who is just going to listen."
I could see her weighing up the situation as she swept up my hair from the floor. She could spend the rest of the day being sorry for herself and try to cry it out or she could have the company of a non-judgemental stranger for emotional support. "Don't worry about me, you don't want to listen to my sob story".
"Yes, I do. I don't think you should be on your own when you are so obviously upset".
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure"
"OK," Inge's face brightened a little, she leant the broom against the table and started to walk out quickly. She called over her shoulder "Just give me a minute to get ready."
I drove us to a coffee shop in the local centre. Inge had kept her black skirt on but had changed into a colourful red blouse. It was the first time I had seen her out of the white smock top which she normally wore as a uniform.
The coffee shop was almost empty and Inge found a low table with comfortable chairs. I watched her settle in as I stood at the counter placing our order.
By the time I brought the drinks over to the table Inge seemed a little tense and unsure. "I'm not sure I can sit here and discuss my marriage. I don't know why I came out." She didn't seem stressed, just a little unsure.
"That's OK, we can just talk, relax a little." I was secretly pleased as I was starting to wonder what I had gotten myself into.
A poster advertising a fundraising event for a local football team inspired me to ask if she played any sports. That got the conversation started and we moved from tennis and golf to local restaurants onto the annual show and somewhere in the next half hour we both relaxed into the chairs and each other's company.
Inevitably, because of my age, the conversation turned to the subject of girlfriends. I laughed through my evasive answers and Inge seemed to enjoy playfully probing me and my slight discomfort. When Inge asked what I liked in a girl and I stumbled through a few boring answers I noticed that she seemed to have stopped paying attention to me.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"No, no," Inge shook herself back to the moment. "I was just thinking ... don't worry."
"No, it's okay," I insisted, "You can tell me."
Inge considered the situation for a few seconds and obviously decided to open up. "It's just, hearing what you want in a girl, fun, friendly, smart ... all he wanted was a porn star."
I was startled at her statement but tried not to let it show. After a few seconds Inge continued, "He watched a lot of porn, and wanted me to be like the girls he watched."
"Did that bother you?"
"Not the porn itself," she admitted, "that was ... well, all men do, don't they? What got me was that he wanted me to be like the women that he watched. And that wasn't me. That was why he left in the end. I stopped doing what he wanted me to."
I couldn't resist the obvious question, "What kinds of things?"
Inge seem to catch herself, realising that we were edging into the intimate details of her relationship and in a public place. She considered this for a moment and then said, "You know, the usual things, like having me say ... nasty things while he ... and, he always wanted to ... ejaculate on my face." She averted her eyes as she struggled with the words. It was obvious she wanted to get them out, but she was still not sure what she was doing telling them to me in a coffee shop.
"I'm sorry." It seemed like all I could say, especially as I was slightly compromised as having had facial fantasies of my own, even though I'd never done it and could plainly see it wasn't the most romantic act that sexual partners could perform.
Inge shook her head, not at my sympathy, but her situation. "It's okay. You know, I'm not... well, those things are okay once in a while, but not all the time. Is this an uncomfortable conversation for you?" She looked hard into my face now. "I'm sorry, we should stop."
"It's fine." I instinctively reached across the table and placed my hand over hers. "I'm just glad you can get some of this out. I'm happy to talk about anything."
Inge smiled. She pulled her hand away to push her hair to the side but it came back to rest on mine. "You're really are very kind. It's been hard not being able to explain why he left. Maybe this will make it easier to explain to other people." She gave a big sigh and sat back a bit in the chair. "He was such a pain when it came to things like that."
She went on to explain to me that in most other ways he had been a good husband. She wasn't sure about their decision, years ago, not to have a family, but other than his sexual preferences, he was a good man. She didn't give many details, but explained how he would watch porn, often while she was with customers and later demand that they basically act out the things he'd watched. I got the impression that occasionally this was painful for her and almost always unsatisfying. Hell, even I knew that sometimes women needed to make love the way they wanted! And there lay the bottom line in Inge's marriage: he wanted sex, and she needed to make love occasionally.
There was nothing erotic about our conversation. I was too busy listening and working out how to respond to the things Inge said, and she was busy exorcising thoughts and events that had haunted her for too long. It seemed somewhat surreal to be sitting with the lovely Inge, listening to her relate the failings of her sex life, but it also made me feel closer to her than I'd ever imagined.
"I mean, not all men are like that, are they?"
I tried to be honest. "All men have fantasies, but I'm sure most men are a bit more sympathetic to their partner's wants and needs."