'Hey dumbass, you're lucky your dumb ass didn't catch anything.'
I look down at the papers Dr. Kaplan handed me. I was sweating bullets ever since she called me in this morning for my STD and HIV tests, and I'm lucky that I didn't catch anything from my little 'sexcapade' last month.
'Use a condom next time, dumbass,' I continue to berate myself. I can't help it. I was beyond lucky that Q was clean and that I didn't end up pregnant. Especially with me not being on the pill and not using any contraceptives.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I chant to myself as I slap my forehead to match each word. "Forgive me, momma."
Leaving my university's health center, I let my eyes adjust to the change of lighting. It was a lot brighter outside, the sun shining brightly on this exceptionally warm autumn day. The landscape was already littered with the reds, yellows and oranges of the trees' fallen leaves, and for just a moment, I reminisce back to my childhood, when my sister and I would jump onto piles of leaves and search for the prettiest leaves to press in our books.
'From now on, I'll only be jumping leaves instead of bones," I mumble to myself, miserable even after knowing my results.
Ever since my fallout with Q, I have not been back to his room. I avoid him at all costs, opting to study at the library than in my room like I normally do. My roommate Ella keeps telling me when Q would stop by, but I'd just nod and change the subject. I feel bad because I was the reason why I felt awkward around him now. Even as I tell myself over and over that he doesn't know that it was me, common sense knocks at the back of my head and reminds me that Q isn't as dumb as I'd like him to be.
Shaking the thoughts away, I look down to check the time on my phone. And then, my hand tightens around it.
'You gave your virginity away to somebody that isn't even in your phone,' common sense tells me. Oh great, as if I wasn't feeling lower than dirt already.
"Stupid, estúpido, baka," I start chanting in different languages, because guess what? My stupidity is universal.
With my eyes dancing listlessly around with no true direction, I end up at the library and accidentally bump into a hard body.
"Umph!" I yelp as I find myself on the floor, my test papers scattering. My face burns as I race to pick them up. Out of the corner of my eye, I realize the person I bumped into was picking one of them up. Mentally screaming, I rush over and snatch it out of his hand, hoping he didn't see anything.
"Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you. And uh, thank you for helping..."
I shut up when I realize I'm talking to Otis. Crap. Crap, crap, holy fuck ME!
As I contemplate making a dash for the exit with my tail between my legs, Otis cracks a smile and pulls me into a side hug. "Dee! So this is where you've been hiding out."
Fighting down the blush creeping across my cheeks, I shake my head and laugh nervously. "H-hide? Why would I be hiding?"
Otis shrugs. "I don't know. Q just says he can't find you whenever we ask about you. Jimmy and I were starting to think you were the master of Hide-and-Seek."
Faking a smile, I start folding the papers in my hand and stuff them in the folder I was given at the health clinic. "Well then, it looks like it's your turn to hide."
Otis laughs and releases me from the hug that grew increasingly awkward with each passing moment.
"I would, but I actually came to the library to check out a few movies for this weekend."
Curious, I look up at him. "What's happening this weekend?"
With his cheeky smile, Otis started walking towards the circulation desk. Already caught, I decided to tag along for his answer.
"Nothing, really. Q is going home for Labor Day weekend and Jimmy is driving down to Las Vegas with a few of his buddies, so I have the room to myself."
Pulling on my hair, I frown. "Oh, I'm sorry. If you start getting lonely, you can always hang with me and Ella."
He grinned, and one of his dimples flashed at me. I didn't even know he had dimples. "Thanks for the invite, but I'll probably just watch these movies and play the game," he explained as he finished checking out.
I smiled. "You know, I always watch you guys play Madden and I wish I was good enough to play."
Otis threw me a sideways glance and I busied my hands with my hair. "A girl that wants to play Madden? Now that's a first."
I rolled my eyes. "I happen to like games; I just don't have my own console to play on."
Otis' grin grew wider. "Well, how about later tonight you come over and let me stomp you on Madden?"
I paled and looked down at the ground. Noticing that I stopped, Otis turned and shot me a quizzical look. "Um, I'll pass. I-I'm a sore loser and I'll rage quit before we actually get anywhere in the game."
"That's okay. If you want, I can show you how to play first and I promise I won't gloat if I win."
Shit. Why's he being so nice to me all of a sudden? I look up at him with suspicion. "Why do you want me to hang out with you so badly?"
His grin faltered. "I don't. You just said that you wished you could play Madden and I offered to play with you. You're the one who suggested we hang out in the first place." He turned and started for the exit again.
Feeling guilty, I caught up to him. "Sorry, Otis. I didn't mean to make you sound clingy back there." We were walking through the quad back to our dorm.
Otis looked over at me with an odd expression. "Are you alright, Dee?"
Eyes widening, it took me a moment to answer. 'Why is he so damn perceptive?'
"I... uh- I've just had a lot going on and stuff to figure out," I lamely answered.
Otis nodded. "College will do that to you."
'Oh, yeah,' I grimly thought to myself.
********
Somebody call a doctor!
I can't move. No, seriously, I'm frozen in front of Q's door. My arm is raised as if I'm about to knock, but instead I just stand there looking at the dark wood two inches away from my face.
The events of 'that night' come rushing back and despite myself, I squirm with anticipation. I already know I'm moist; I can feel it pooling between my legs.
Gritting my teeth, I try to steel myself away from those teasing scenes of touching and grabbing, licking and moaning. Instead, I think back to how he tried to kiss me and embarrass me in front of Otis and Jimmy.
I get angry as soon as the memory comes back. It so thoroughly consumes that I don't hear the door crack open.
"...Dee? What are you doing?" Otis asks me.
My mind immediately clears and I look up with a start. "Um... eh?" I say with confusion. "Um, that's not right... I'm here!"
Otis kept his face steady, though I could see in his eyes that he was trying to hold back a laugh. "Indeed you are. Come on in," he says, backing up so that I could enter.
Blanching, I simply nod. "Right." As I walk past him, I find myself breathing in the scent of his cologne.
I enter the room and breathe a sigh of relief. 'Good. Q isn't here.'
"Jimmy and Q are already gone?" I ask as Otis begins setting up the TV.
"Yep," Otis says as he looks for the cord he needs. "So, which is it? Madden or movie?"
Not really thinking, I answer. "Let's do a movie first. I think I saw 'Lion King' in that stack of yours."
Otis grinned. "Well, it is the greatest movie of all time. Movie it is."
Before I knew it, the movie was going and Otis had arranged the futon. Handing me a blanket and a bowl of popcorn, Otis went to turn off the lights before taking a seat next to me...
Shit. We should've played the damn game first.
"Uh, Otis? Could you turn the lights back on?"
The previews still going, Otis looked at me and the light from the TV revealed his confused look. "I thought you would like the whole theater set up? You know, big screen, big sound, no lights."
I glanced over at the monster of a screen the guys had brought in the second week of the school year. It took all three of them to move it in and mount it on the wall.
My heart thumping, I mentally shook myself and tried to focus on the 'Toy Story' preview. "You're right. It's better with the lights off."
For the next hour, though, I couldn't be more wrong. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't watch one of my favorite movies because instead my mind assaulted me with my own personal movie of hair-pulling and skin-scratching. The whole time I was sitting there and I just kept getting wetter. I tried not to squirm, and luckily, Otis didn't seem to notice. I did my best not to look at Q's bed, but it was right next to me and I kept getting assaulted by the memories.
The memory of Q teasing the tip of my nipple with his tongue flickered across my retinas as "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" began to play over my eardrums. My heart beat like a dancing drum as phantom moans and sighs finally drowned out everything around me. My hands tightened in the blanket Otis offered me, yet I forgot to catch the throaty moan that left my lips as I orgasmed.
My center tightened and released before I could process what was happening and now strong hands were gripping my shoulders. My eyes still glazed, they met the honey orbs belonging to an attractive face. My eyes roamed over his light brown skin, the golden freckles under his eyes and the smooth lips that curved up in concern. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were gliding up his arms and over his chest, pushing him down on the futon and moving to place myself above him.
A leg moved up in between his thighs and my body angled itself so that he could get a good look at the milk chocolate skin that dipped down into my low-cut shirt. Suddenly, the jeans I was wearing were constricting, and I longed to have them off.
