The following is the true story of how I met and established a friend with benefits relationship with a married woman. Obviously, names, places and some details have been changed to protect our identities. The events described took place approximately 10 years ago so, though I still have most of the emails from the time, I no longer have texts so these and the dialogue are reliant on my memory. I have shortened some timescales to avoid the story being too long but the events were basically as described. I apologise if some people think that the introduction is still too long.
About a year after splitting from my wife, living on my own, I was increasingly missing female company. I did meet women but rarely available ones that I was attracted to, my job had also changed so that I worked from home the vast majority of the time. Home was a small country town, my back gate opened onto the old mill pond which was quiet and pretty, and the train station was a ten-minute walk away giving easy access to London. So where I lived was pretty much ideal, the trouble was that I was lonely and had no one to enjoy it with.
I was in my mid-forties, a father of two that saw his sons every other weekend and often during the week but spent far too much time on his own. I'm about 5 feet 8 inches tall, slim build, clean shaven with short greying hair that was thinning on top.
I found myself increasingly looking at dating and contact websites, one in particular kept drawing me back with its separate categories for "dating" and "casual" adverts. Some of the casual adverts were quite brutal in their wording and I would have been surprised if any woman responded. I drafted several adverts of my own, without posting them. But, to be honest, it wasn't so much a sex buddy I was missing as company -- someone to spend time with and enjoy life.
I found myself remembering penpals that I had when I was a teenager and looking at the penpal adverts I composed and posted my own.
Single man living on his own looking for ladies to talk to
I am a man in his mid-forties whom works at home most of the week and frequently finds himself with free time. Are you like me, looking for the excitement of a new email from a friend dropping in your inbox. Wanting to discuss the world and learn new things, put the world to rights or just laugh at the absurdity of life. If so why not drop me a line and lets see if we click.
Before I could change my mind, I sent off the post and that was that. I didn't really expect a reply but nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say.
There were a couple of replies that looked a bit odd and uninteresting, but then a simple reply piqued my interest and to be honest I'm not sure why.
"please feel free to get in touch"
The email address gave no hint as to whether the sender was male or female but I thought there was no harm in replying so I sent off an introductory email without revealing too much about myself. I received an instant reply, or as instant as email can be, the sender was a woman called Jane who was also looking for a friend to talk to.
Over the next few days we learnt more about each other via email, Jane was a few years younger than myself, brown skinned, from St Lucia originally, married nearly two years to an English guy. It turned out that he was quite cold to her, which seemed strange when they had not been married long. We discussed favourite TV shows, books, films, places we have visited -- all the usual things you talk about when people are getting to know each other -- without sex coming up I might add, and on my side I wasn't thinking along those lines at all. When we exchanged photos she proved to be averagely pretty, with coffee coloured skin. The second photo that she sent showed her in a bikini, with nice large breasts and wide hips with a slim waist. When I complimented her, she responded that she had put on weight since the photograph had been taken and her husband didn't like it.
As we chatted more by email and skype Jane opened up about their relationship, apparently her husband didn't work and wasn't putting much effort into trying to find work so she worked long hours at a care home to support them. She told me that he did virtually nothing around the house, when she was home he expected her to cook and clean. When at home in the evening he would be watching the TV while she was using her computer, but he frequently went out on his own and wouldn't let her go with him. Then she let slip that they slept separately, partly because he didn't like her putting on weight and partly because he said that she snored. I could only sympathise as it all seemed odd to me for a couple that hadn't been married long. Quite often they would be sat in the same room, not talking, him watching the TV and her on her computer chatting to me and other friends. It seemed as though he had no interest in who she was talking to, or them sharing any activities. We exchanged mobile numbers, so we could text and then spoke on the phone a few times, she had a lovely accent and sounded very nice on the phone. The conversation never went beyond friendly, there was no hint of what was to come in the first weeks of our friendship, I don't think that it crossed either of our minds.
Then one day a late night text arrived that moved things up a notch, "Do you miss intimacy Simon? I sometimes lay alone in my single bed, wrapping my arms round myself and touching myself where I wish to be touched. I ache to be loved".
There I was laying alone in my bed, suddenly thinking of Jane in a different way. I quickly replied, "Yes I miss snuggling and like most single people I sometimes pleasure myself," then waited to see what would come back, had I upset her?
"Hubby punishing me because I put on weight so only when he feels like making love, whereas when I feel like it he pushes me away. Wedding vows are for better or worse, maybe this is the worse........I even told him if you are not happy the door is open...Now I lay here, alone, needing to be held."
I felt so sorry for her, I didn't know what to reply, as a friend I could only sympathise but how could I help by text.
Before I could reply her next text arrived, "Where are you?"
