It was that time of year again. The time when everybody with families, especially children, put in desperate requests to have a day or two off, and left those of us who were single to cover the hospital. It was a trade-off. Usually the pay was premium, usually the work load was light, but then there was always a feeling of sadness. All of us who worked smiled and acted cheerful, but we all knew we were here because we had no place else to be.
Any patients who couldn't go home for Christmas were usually demented with no families, and never knew what day it was. Or they were too close to death to leave. Up on Labor & Delivery people laughed because they were having Christmas babies.
In Peds the nurses tried to buy gifts for all the little cancer kids; nothing was worse than one of them dying on the Eve or the Day. Down here in the ED, things were usually quiet; who wanted to go to the hospital on Xmas unless they HAD to? Then again, what we saw was usually people who really, really HAD to.
Since I've only been an RN for 2 years, and don't have a hubby or kids, I get to work all sorts of holidays. Often the night shift. I've already spent three New Year's at midnight listening to distant fireworks and bells ringing while I sat in an uncomfortable chair and read a book.
This year looked to be no different, until I learned that Dr. Joe was going to be on duty with me. I've made no secret to myself that I have the hots for him. I lie in bed many nights and touch myself frantically with fingers or vibrators and pretend it's him.
"Yes, Joe, yes, do it to me," I scream into my pillow in my empty bed. "Would you like it back there, Doctor?" I beg my imaginary playmate. He always does. Want it in the behind. My dildo always does what he wants, so I cum again from the anal stimulation. The alchemy that turns a piece of plastic into a throbbing human cock carries me thru the lonely nights when I am not working, and have nowhere to go.
This time it would be different. He and I would be trapped there together, and if the damn happy people would not have wrecks or heart attacks or shoot each other long enough for there to be Peace on Earth there might be a chance for a Piece for Erin as well. That's me. Erin. I'm little, 5' tall, with Irish red hair and lots of freckles, and a little waist -- Hell all of me is little except these magical tits that swelled into C cups sometime when I was a teen.
I bought a little bottle of an aftershave I like, Brute, and wrapped it. If the chance came, I could offer it to him, couldn't I? It was Christmas, after all. I hummed a few Carols, hoping that this holiday would be a little better than most. Thankfully our hospital is small enough that we only keep one doctor and one nurse in the ED at night. We call it the Emergency Department, that's 'in' these days, but it's really only an Emergency Room or two.
Two days ahead I got a bikini wax. I don't often, but let's go all out, right? I also bought nicer undies than I usually wear at work. Some white 'boy shorts' with a little wreath right... well, there. And a bra that made the most of things, and had a sprig of mistletoe right between... where it hung right... well, above there. To invite kisses... well, there.
The day before I had my hair done, and had a few discreet highlights added. Trying to look my best. I also added a sprig of real mistletoe to my purse; never know what you might need.
The clock ticked down to the final hours, and I paced, eager to get to work; I like my job, but I've never been so restless to get there. I had a twelve hour shift, it was pointless to get too tired before I went. Then I was swept away, and 'clunk' my timecard was stamped, and I went to the ER for shift change. Things were quiet, thank God.
Dr. Joe waltzed in, nodded, "Evening Erin," and pulled out a textbook on skin diseases! Skin Diseases? Those things even have disgusting pictures! This is the lead up to a night of romance?
"Doctor, don't mean to interrupt you (yeah, sure I didn't) but I thought since it was Christmas, well... I got you a little gift." I already knew he smelled better than Brute, but unless he told me what he wore I had no idea how to get any.
"Why thank you, nurse. I'm afraid you've embarrassed me, I didn't think to do that for you."
(You could offer me a kiss instead, you fool!) "Don't worry about it, it's just a custom."
"After shave --Brute -- this smells rather nice. Thanks, Erin."
I blushed, I always do, and my freckles faded while my face became as carmine as my hair. "You're welcome." (Come on, damn it, say something suave!) "Uh, what aftershave do you usually wear?"
"Oh, I get this stuff from France. It's made by Jil Saunder; hard to find in the States."
"So you, uh, go to France.... Often?"
"Oh, I've only been there once. I order the aftershave. Online, you know."
(Here my brain began to leak the smell of burning oil, as I tried to force the gears to spin faster than they seemed to want to go.)
"Oh, yeah. I shop online sometimes, too. Hard to buy porn locally." (OMG I actually let that come out of my mouth.)
"You buy pornography?" Not a clue as to what he thought; no curious raised eyebrows, no frown of disapproval. Just a flat question, like 'think it will rain?'
"Sometimes."
Well, all Hell broke loose just then. The doors flew open and a bleeding child was carried in by his frantic mother. It was obvious this wasn't serious, the child was awake and crying, the laceration was to the eyebrow, and the mother was more upset than the child.
"Nurse, a suture pack, please." Professionalism took over for both of us. In five minutes we had the little boy cleaned up, and only sniffling a little, as mom described the 'horrible fall' against the coffee table. I assisted the Dr. and he smoothly injected Novocain, whipped in three stitches, and put a neat bandage on the wound. He also did a great job of explaining to the mom that it was nothing without demeaning her, and had a smiling kid and a grateful mom headed back to their home in a few more minutes.
While I cleaned up the table, he stepped to me and said, "You were great. I wish I always had help like that." He gave me an awkward little half hug, and I hugged him back. (Kiss me, you fool!)
He stepped away, and the chance was gone.
Right away, a beautiful young woman came in dressed in an old sweat suit. She had had her wisdom teeth out over the Christmas break, and was having some bleeding. I called her oral surgeon, who ordered some IM vitamin K. That's a tenth of a cc, a tiny injection.
Dr. Joe was standing there when I told her I needed to give her a 'shot.' She dropped her pants and sashayed to the table and bent over. I saw Dr. Joe blow up the front of his scrub pants and turn to hide it. Zap! Gave her the shot, slapped a band aid on, perhaps a little harder than necessary, and said she could go.
"Well, I've never seen anyone so eager to drop her pants, have you?" I asked.
This time he was blushing. "Can't say as I was expecting that."
"She had rather a cute butt, tho', wouldn't you say?"
"Well, yes, but not the cutest I've ever seen." (And who has that, doctor?)
Silence.
This was turning out to be the longest night I'd ever spent in the ER.
An obnoxious drunk wandered in with a scalp laceration. Sewing him up was simple, but he bled on the good Doctor's scrubs, so afterward he said he needed to go in the on-call room and take a quick shower and change. (Need any help, Doc?)
That's when the first ambulance hit the door. A man who looked ok, but had passed out briefly for no reason. I hooked him up to the EKG (He was over 50) and as he sat there he fell over with an irregular pulse. I called the on-call room. No answer! He's in the shower! I ran in the room, jumped in the shower and grabbed his arm!
"We've got a Code! Right Now! I need you stat!"(No time to look)
"Hand me my pants, would you?" (Why can't I hear those words in another context?)
For the next hour or so we were desperately trying to stabilize this poor man, and tho' we tried everything, he got worse and worse. Dr. Joe had to go tell the family they had lost their grandpa on Christmas Eve with dried soap in his hair. Not a time for joyous celebration.