(This will make a whole lot more sense if you have read Making Work a Better Place)
*The Discovery Channel is like traveling the world without all the bugs*
The odds of being hit by lighting while flying a twin engine plane is pretty high; the odds of having the second engine fail under the strain is said to be astronomical (whatever that means). All I know is that rest of the passengers are freaking out. For me it is the wildest rollercoaster ride ever. I've heard 'we are all going to die!' plenty of times and it had never happened.
"I love you," Paulette sobs. She squeezes my hand.
"We can't die," I promise her, "you haven't had the chance to divorce me yet." Paulette giggles hysterically. What? I am being serious.
"I am not going to die here," Peggy growls. I reach across the aisle and squeeze her hand too.
"Peggy, we have an excellent pilot, two wings, and plenty of wind. We are going to land and walk away from this, trust me," I say in the most loving tone I can manage.
"Joshua you are an idiot," she says with a smile that eases some of her tension.
"And if I can plainly see that we are going to live, how can I be wrong?" I honestly reply.
"I wish I could hug you right now," she tells me.
"I think that unbuckling during a crash voids our insurance policy," I inform her. And they tell me that I never read any corporate stuff. Peggy laughs at me.
"We are going in!" the pilot screams back to us. I stick my head between my legs. I'm not sure why. If I'm going to die, the last thing I want to see is my own ass, especially with Paulette's and Peggy's so close by.
There is a whole lot of noise reminiscent of the time I stuck a plastic plate into the shredder combined with off-road four-wheeling in the Mojave. I'm glad I'm not the only one having a good time. Everyone is screaming. We are bouncing around in our seats and I give a little "Weeee" even though my stomach hurts from the belt digging in.
We come to a stop and I sit up. People are gawking and weeping for joy. I turn to Paulette and grin,
"Boy, was that fun or what?"
"Joshua, we all nearly died," she says in an exasperated voice though she's smiling too.
"Peggy, are you okay?" Peggy nods though she looks nauseous. I unbuckle and stand up.
"Is everyone okay?" I ask the rest of the people onboard. Since this is a corporate jet and everyone is an employee of Dad, I figure this is the responsible thing to do. People start sounding off. It turns out that two of us have something wrong.
"Peggy, what do we do?" I ask my better third. She stands up and starts giving orders to move the injured people into the aisle and finding things to make splints. Paulette has come to my side and wrapped an arm around me.
"I'm glad you are okay," she says softly.
"I share that sentiment," I snicker and she punches me in the ribs. I love it when I use their phrases against them. It proves I am paying attention. The pilot comes up from the cockpit.
"Okay everyone. The copilot is unconscious, but I'm okay."
"When is help going to get here?" That is Vince Ryan, our VP of Acquisitions. He's the guy who is actually in charger here. I'm just along for the ride.
"The radio is fried. I'm not sure word got out that we went down," the pilot informs us.
"What? What are we supposed to do now you idiot?" Ryan growls. The pilot looks pissed.
"I guess I need to go get help," the pilot angrily admits.
"Alone? How stupid do you think I am? You'll die and I'll be stuck here," Vince growls.
"I'll go with him," I find myself saying. I feel like Brad Pitt. From the looks I am getting from Peggy and Paulette, they must be thinking that I am Jonah Hill. Whoops.
"I'll go along with Joshua," Peggy pledges.
"Me too," Paulette declares
"Great, Stupid and the Moron will get the two of you killed as well," grouses Vince.
"Hey! Don't you call my ladies stupid or morns," I snap. Vince rolls his eyes. Paulette grabs my arm before I walk down the aisle and pound that bastard.
"Come on Love, he's not worth your while. Let's figure out how we are going to get out of here," she tells me softly.
When we get back to the front of the plane, the pilot opens the door and the heat and humidity blasts in. The pilot leads the way out.
"Okay Mr. Townsend, this is the plan; according to my last bearings there is a large village about one hundred kilometers to the northwest of here. We'll move along a river that runs a kilometer north of here. I figure we can make it in four days if we push it."
"Our biggest problem will be water," Peggy points out.
"Honey, we'll be right next to a river," I sigh and roll my eyes. Sometimes Peggy misses the obvious.
"Joshua, we try not to drink the local water. It has ... things in it that will make us sick."
"Whoops."
"We should be able to gather up rainwater in some of our thicker knit clothing," Peggy suggests.
"Good idea," agrees the pilot.
"Let's tell the others," Peggy tells us. "We can't do anything about the food. The local supplies will probably only last four or five days if they are lucky, so we can't take anything with us."
"I'm afraid so," says the pilot. "It is going to be tough. Are you three sure you want to come along?"
"We have a better chance of success if we all go," I point out. "If one of us gets sick or hurt, we can still keep moving ... or so that guy on the Discovery Channel told me." All three of the people sigh in a way that suggest I said something right but in the wrong way. Maybe I should stick with lessons learned from Thunder Cats and the Rundown.
Peggy and Paulette go to tell Vince and the other employees the game plan. The pilot and I go and get the luggage. A few people from the plane come out and help. One of them tells me that Peggy needs my help. I go inside and find Vince in Peggy's face.
"Is there a problem?" I ask.
"Shut up you moron. You and your bitch aren't going to tell us what to do," Vince declares.
I'm thinking of what harsh actions to take when Peggy's knee impacts his nuts with a savagery that makes my own nut sack want to withdraw into my body. Vince collapses like a punctured balloon.
"Don't you dare call him a moron again, you pompous windbag," Peggy snarls. No one says a word. "Does anyone else here have a problem with the plan?" Slowly everyone shakes their heads. "Fine, the four of us are heading out as soon as we have your rain-catchers set up. Ration your food like adults and plan on it lasting for five days -- six if you can. Help should be here in eight or nine days, so hang in there."
"What do we do if you don't come back," Grace Waheko asks. She's our chief accountant on the project we've come down here to work on. She's smart but scared.
"You know where we are going; try to follow along as best you can," Paulette tells her.
"Why don't we come with you?" Luis Alameda questions.
"With two people hurt, you would slow us down and a few people going are our best chance of everyone getting out. We are all in very good shape. We'll make it and send back help," Peggy outlines for the group.
People start nodding. Peggy goes outside and we start changing into more practical clothing. I'm thinking shorts and a t-shirt, but the pilot points out we are going to be going through some serious jungle, so we end up in long-sleeve shirts, jeans, and boots. I lose a few seconds watching my women getting dressed. Paulette catches my gaze, rolls her eyes but smiles. What can I say? I dream about her and Peggy. I'm horny as hell for them when I'm awake.
We have been gone a day and I'm proving to be God-like. I introduce the group into the joys of eating bugs which once you get used to the slimy and crackly goodness are quite filling. At night the bugs return the favor and feast on us. They are not alone. We settle in around a nice big tree when Paulette comes over to me and snuggles into my lap. She gives me that wiggle and nibbles on my ear.
"Woman, I'm too tired for sex," I beg off. Paulette giggles and grinds harder.
Apparently I'm not too tired for sex. When Paulette finishes me off, she goes to a spot few feet away and snuggles under a leaf blanket. I sigh and start to roll over when Peggy comes over and settles into my lap.
"Please Peggy," I plead, "I'm too tired for sex. I'm ..." and she starts kissing me deeply while her hands roam over my chest and lower.
Apparently I'm still not too tired for sex. Peggy completes her mission with me finally, glides off and snuggles next to Paulette. I notice the Pilot looking my way and smiling.
"For the love of God Man; I'm too tired for sex!" I scream. He chuckles and rolls over.
The next day we are trekking through the forest and the Pilot is talking about what good progress we are making. He compliments on us all being in such good shape, me in particular. He finds that amusing for some reason. We come through some brush and a bird come plummeting from the treetops. I'm thinking how good chicken tastes, but I seem to be the only person looking at the bird. Everyone else is looking around for the source of the arrow in my lunch.
Several short, coppery men in little Japanese diapers come out of the brush; with a number of spears and bows.
