New Year, New Me. Isn't that how the saying goes? Well, I've never been one for New Year's resolutions. I've already given up practically everything that was fun, in other words, everything that's bad for me! Who was it that said "Anything that's any fun is either illegal, immoral or fattening"? Whoever it was, he or she was right. Fortunately, I don't worry too much about immorality!
Nevertheless, I'm conscious that my last big birthday started with the number four, and that was two years ago. As I intend to live until I'm ninety, I'm not quite middle aged yet. Yes, I know that's not what it means, but humour me, please! Suffice to say, I felt I needed to increase my exercise and being too mean to join the local home of perfect bodies, aka the Gym, I figured running might be the solution.
I'm currently single, so re-entering the dating world after a ten year relationship, I wanted to get into some kind of shape. I'm not fat or anything, but the pounds gained over Christmas tend to fall off more slowly than they used to, if they fall off at all, that is!
We've been blessed with a mild winter so far and I read in the local paper about Park Run, a sort of loose social running club open to everyone. I decided to put my best sports gear on - a scruffy old t-shirt and squash shorts - and give it a go.
The morning I chose, last Sunday, was one of the rare chilly mornings this year but as I figured I'd be working up a sweat, that wasn't a problem. I had no idea who to expect running that morning, so I didn't go with any optimism of meeting any eligible single females. I was hoping there might be some fit girls to watch and maybe run with, but then, I always hope there will be hot girls wherever I go!
I got to the assembly point just before nine on Sunday morning. I was pleased to see there was already a group of about thirty people warming up. There were all sorts there, from toddlers to seniors and every age in between. I didn't feel out of place and it wasn't a race, so there was no pressure. It should just be a pleasurable jog and a chance to meet some new people.
We started running pretty much bang on nine by my watch and I stayed with the main group. We were doing circuits of the large park on the outskirts of town. It's a lovely park, with a huge boating lake in the centre and beautiful mature trees. I used to play in the park playground as a kid and it was one of the first places I visited when I returned to live here after nearly twenty years living in the town where I went to university.
I would estimate a lap of the park is about a mile and a half, so I was only expecting to do two, maybe three laps on my first week. If I enjoyed the run, I'd build up my stamina and strength over the coming weeks.
I fell into stride alongside a nice looking woman who introduced herself as Kim.
"I come to get a morning off from the kids!" she admitted.
She looked very fit in her lycra outfit and when she picked up the pace and ran ahead of me, I enjoyed the view from behind her.
I wasn't on my own for long before a man's voice chirped "Haven't seen you before. Hi, my name is Mark."
"Steve," I said.
"No, Mark", he replied, sarcastically, then laughed at his own joke.
I laughed too, more out of politeness, but he seemed like a nice guy, so we ran together for a while chatting.
"Who have you got your eye on?" he asked.
I gave him my best puzzled look and he said
"Oh come on, a fit guy like you doing the Park Run. I reckon you're on the prowl!"
I tried to deny it but he wouldn't believe me.
"Have you seen Kim yet?" he asked and blew out a whistle. "Now, if she leaves her old man, I'll be at the front of the queue!"
I smiled and said "Yes, I've met Kim and you're right, she's very nice. If she does leave her 'old man', you may have to fight me for her!"
We carried on with more laddish banter until Mark decided he'd had enough for the day.
He left with a cheery "See you next week?" and I gave him the thumbs up.
I kept running, acknowledging other runners as I passed some and some passed me. Wow, I knew Kim was fit, but she was already lapping me.
"Come on, slow coach!" she quipped as she breezed past me.
Nice to know she noticed me, I thought. She swayed off into the distance and I noticed that I wasn't the only guy watching her hips. The men running with their wives or girlfriends tried to be discreet, but I noticed them!
After two laps, I decided to take a breather and have a water by the hut that sold ice cream in the summer, but was closed now.
"Slacking already?" came a voice from a bench hidden behind a large oak tree.
It was Kim, so I wandered over to where I heard the voice and she was stretching her calf muscles and drinking from a bottle of lurid yellow isotonic drink.
It looked like radioactive urine, and I figured if she was going to tease me, I'd tease her back.
"Yes, I'm having a break, just like you are. At least I'm not drinking fluorescent piss though!"
She laughed, looked at the bottle and said "Yeah, tastes a bit like that too!"
We both laughed and I introduced myself properly.
"No girlfriend or wife today?" she asked.
"Not today or any day at the moment," I replied.
"Boyfriend?" she asked, with a broad grin on her face.
"No, no," I said. "nothing like that. I'm just saving up for my next divorce!"
Kim looked right at me and said "Well, you're either a cynic, a pragmatist or you're just teasing me."
I admitted I was teasing then told her I had recently ended a long term relationship. I didn't go into details and she didn't ask.
"How about you then? Husband and five kids?" I enquired, nosily.
"Ha!" came the reply, "something like that."
I couldn't resist teasing her further.
"Oh, so you come here alone just to show off your hot body to tease the single guys and make the wives and girlfriends jealous?"
She blushed and I hoped I hadn't pushed it too far as we'd only just met.
I was about to apologise when she said "Oh, you think I've got a hot body?"
I'd painted myself into a corner.
I hesitated before replying then said "Well, lycra can be forgiving, but I think you look great and I'm not the only person to have noticed. All the guys and one girl in particular had their eyes glued to your butt as you passed them!"
She laughed and said "Oh, you've met Sara then? She hit on me the first day I came here but she's not really my type!"
"Too masculine?" I asked, not expecting her to throw her empty drink bottle at me.
"Oh, you're bad. I like you!"
We chatted and flirted for about five minutes then Kim said "Well, I'm doing one more lap before getting back to my husband and five kids. You be here next week?
I grinned back at her and said "Try and stop me. And if you want me to beat Sara up for you, I reckon I could take her!"
She jogged off, giggling and I was already looking forward to next Sunday morning. I watched her sexy ass sway from side to side as she ran off and as if to tell me she knew I was watching her, she gave her own butt a smack, then disappeared into the trees.
Hmm, what an interesting first meeting.
Next Sunday, I arrived a bit earlier, hoping to see Kim. Sure enough, she was stretching and warming up, but when she saw me, she jogged over to me. "Are you gonna keep up with me this week? she asked.
"Well, maybe a few paces behind you," I said, and smacked my own ass.
"So bad!" was all she said.
We started running at nine o-clock prompt again and we did run together. I think she'd slowed her pace a little and I'd raised mine. We didn't chat much as we ran but after three laps, it was break time.
