A buddy of mine has, for the last few years, taught city slickers about camping, canoeing, the works. Somehow he makes a lot of money at it. Unfortunately he had to go into the hospital for a few days and was not going to be able to make a scheduled group from the east coast. He managed to talk me into taking his group for him, just a simple overnight canoe trip. "Easy peasy for someone like me." He said. Over the years I have done a lot of things for fun, many of them outdoors. I love to fish, hunt, camp and generally enjoy myself in the great outdoors. I've had the immense pleasure of teaching girl scout leaders about high adventure camping, which the last time, turned out to be an incredible experience. A year later I had managed to keep that particular exploit under wraps from my wife, the ladies all assuring her that I was a perfect gentleman the entire trip.
Yeah, it was probably true, easy to do, until you factor in a bunch of people who have no clue at all about which end of a paddle goes in the water or which part of a tree to pee behind. As the weekend drew closer I had the feeling that I was going to regret agreeing to do this.
Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, thank god, and I headed toward the river, enjoying the drive down the twisting turning highway leading to the river. It was hard to believe that the road, running along the long ridge top, ever got to the river so far below. From where I was it was easily five hundred feet down into the valley to the river.
My Camaro carved around the tight corners like it was on rails, the tires not even making a squeak as I accelerated out of the apex of each turn, setting up for the next one as it came into view. I was having a great time, until half way around one nice tight corner overlooking the river.
I grabbed all the brakes the car had, the ABS groaning to prevent the extra wide, low profile tires from turning into molten balls and causing my beautiful car to shoot over the cliff, giving me a whole new look at the river below. My Camaro did what it was designed to, and the tires held the road, allowing me to carve a little bit tighter curve than was ever intended, missing the car sitting half in and half out of the road in the middle of the curve.
I sat for what seemed like an eternity, getting my heart back into my chest where it belonged, and my shaking hands stilled, before I opened the door and climbed out to see what kind of totally moronic idiot would stop in the middle of a blind curve.
I walked back toward the Toyota and noticed the license plate. "East coast idiot!" I swore under my breath when I saw the Massachusetts license plate. The door to the Toyota opened and slender woman stepped out. She was slightly shorter than I was, with short curly hair and a nicely shaped body. She wore a pair of very small pink shorts and a gray Harvard t-shirt that seemed to be quiet well filled out.
"Are you ok?" she asked, clearly concerned.
"I am. Why in the hell are you stopped in the middle of a fricking curve?" I asked, not worried about how much irritation showed in my voice.
"My tire blew out and I just stopped to try to fix it." She said, looking up and down the road to make sure another car wasn't coming.
"Yeah. Well... let me go park around the corner and I'll help you fix the damn thing." I said as I turned to walk back to my car. I climbed in and fired it back up, pulling a huge smoking burnout doughnut to turn around, pumping some of my irritation out in the gas pedal. It only took a few seconds to scream past her and throw it into a tight slide, skidding it onto the shoulder facing the way I had originally started. I flicked on the flashers and climbed out again.
"Well, that make you feel better?" she asked, standing behind her car with her arms crossed in front of her, pushing her tits up even larger.
"Yeah, it did, until I regret the thousand miles of rubber I just pasted to the pavement. Now, how about we get that tire changed so we can both get the hell out of here."
"Ok hot shot." She said, turning around to open the trunk. I couldn't help but admire her cute ass in the tiny shorts as she bent over to dig the jack out. The pink shorts pulled tight across her round curves and across her pussy, giving me an unintentional profile of her meaty lips through the thin material. I took the tools she handed out after several minutes of digging, my irritation long since evaporated and replaced by an inconvenient bulge in my exercise shorts. I walked around the car and set the jack under the front and started lifting the small car, hoping she didn't notice me readjusting myself as I worked.
I looked up and saw her staring at me, much as I stared at her while she was digging in the trunk. She quickly looked away, realizing she had been caught while I picked up the wrench to pull the lug nuts off. It only took a few more minutes to get the tire changed and the car back on the ground. I loaded the blown tire into the trunk with the jack and handed the keys back to the lady.
"Thank you. I appreciate the help." She said nicely.
"You're welcome. Next time, try not to stop in the middle of a curve, ok?"
"Sure thing speed racer." She answered as I turned to walk back to my car. I looked back once and saw her still standing next to the car, watching me walk away.
"Women." I said under my breath as I opened my car door. I fired up the engine and was blasting past her, before she even had her engine started, realizing that I was now late for meeting my group. Great way to start a weekend.
I pulled into the canoe rental place my buddy worked out of after another fifteen miles of tight curves worked me down to the river level.
"Well, I see you made it!" Joan, the owner, said as I walked into the small office area. "Most of your group is here, just waiting for one more to show."
"So what do I have?" I asked her, picking up the clip board.
"You're gonna love this one. How Tom managed to talk you into this bunch is beyond me. You have five middle age women from the east coast. None of them seem to know a thing about the outdoors from what I can tell. You'll see what I mean when you meet em"
"Great. Tom said you had the trip plan already. What's he got in mind?"
"You're supposed head down to the big gravel bar by Pulltite. We'll drop your gear there around four. Before that, you got lunch stuff in your canoe."
"Ok." I said with a sigh. "Gonna be a long weekend."
"I bet." Joan said with a laugh. "Let's go meet your group."
"Might as well." I said, following her out of the back door of the office.
"Ladies... This is Mike, your guide for the next two days. It's his job to teach you what you need to know. Listen to him, obey him, and I can assure you he will keep you safe and make sure you have a good time." Joan said to the group of four women. She turned and handed me the clipboard. "Have fun!" she said with a grin, leaving me to face the group of smiling women.
"Sorry I'm late!" I heard a woman call from behind me as I faced the group. To my surprise the lady from the highway came running up and joined the other four.
"Tina, this is our guide, Mike. We were given strict instructions to obey him and he would guarantee we would have a good time!" One of them said, the tone of her voice clearly implying more than her words.
"Oh, really? Well, I hope he's in a better mood than he was half an hour ago." She said, turning to look at me with a cockeyed smile on her face, her arms crossed and pushing her tits up again.
"You know him?" A forty something woman wearing a tiny yellow bikini asked.
"Oh just a bit. He helped me change my tire up the road a ways." She said, still watching me for a reaction.
"Well, just the same, now that you're here we can get started. Let's start by getting names and what experience you have in the outdoors. As you already know I'm Mike, and you are?"
"Tina." The lady in pink said. "Never been canoeing or camping, if that's what you're asking. But I've done a bit of rock wall climbing, day hiking and biking."
"Sounds good. Next?"
"I'm Jenny." a lady in a skimpy bikini said. "I've never canoed before either, but I'll ride anything I can get my hands on!" I guessed she was mid thirties or so, and filled the small red outfit out pretty well. I got the distinct impression that she was mentally undressing me as I stood in front of them.
"Oh Jenny!" The lady behind her said, "You are so damn bad!" She was wearing a long t-shirt, reaching half way down her thighs, hiding pretty much everything except her well shaped legs, muscular arms, pretty long blond hair and green eyes. "My name is Amanda, and I've been canoeing once, well sort of. My boyfriend took me on a lake once, until we dumped over, that is."
"I'm Sue. I've never been canoeing either." A thirty something looking woman said. She was very slim with small perky breasts that showed easily through the top of one of the tiniest bikinis I had actually ever seen anyone wear. I was pretty sure that she also was either completely or mostly shaved, based on the almost non-existent bottom to the green suit.
The last lady stepped to the front and introduced herself as Teresa. She was a bit larger than the rest, what I called a plus size, the floppy shirt hiding pretty much any more detail. She was by far the quietest of the group, seeming almost shy.
