Fred, Mike, and myself are what some people would call nerds. We prefer the term technocrats, although some people seem to think this means technogeeks. They are so wrong. We just like technology and we study it and seek to improve it.
Our latest toy was a drone, and it was a good one. Even better after we'd finished modifying it. We took it up for a few flights and it flew like a bird. It had a camera attached that both recorded what was below it and streamed the video back to us so we could observe in real time. The camera wasn't fixed in place, as we'd added some gimbals and could adjust the direction the camera was pointing. Forward, backward, side to side, and down. Not up, as the body of the drone got in the way. We were toying with the idea of a second camera to cover that blind spot but weren't serious about it at that point.
One afternoon we were at a local park putting the drone through its paces, controlling it via a joystick connected to our laptop. After a while we brought it back to land, did some maintenance, and sent it off again, this time testing out our range. We had quite a powerful radio controller and I figured we could probably still control the drone for at least half a mile, possibly further.
Now we had set up our base on one of the picnic tables that were at the park. Mike was flying at the time and I, spotting something that disturbed me, asked him a question.
"Ah, Mike, you know that maintenance we just did?"
He grunted, which I chose to take as being a sign of assent.
"Do you remember I asked you to get the freshly charged batteries from the car?"
He grunted again, this time jerking his thumb towards where the batteries were, sitting on the table next to the laptop. It seemed that yes, he had remembered to fetch the batteries.
"Do you remember me saying that we had better change the batteries because the current charge was low?"
A grunt. He was so busy concentrating on the flying that the conversation was really just passing him by.
"And did you change the batteries or are they sitting right there on the table while the drone is limping along on the sniff of power?"
That got through to him, probably because the low power warning came up on the laptop at the same time.
"Oh, shit," he snapped, frantically reversing the direction the drone was moving.
Way too late, of course. I could already see that the drone was lower than it was supposed to be. All we could really do was take note of just where it was going down. Mike actually managed to set the drone down in the middle of someone's back yard, mainly because he couldn't get enough height to lift it over the fence and into the street.
We piled into the car and raced around to where the drone had landed. Our first thought was to just race around to the back, grab the drone, and bolt. This thought came to a screaming halt when we observed the big gates at the side of the house. The big, locked, gates. We decided to opt for the polite solution. We'd knock and politely ask whoever was home if we could please have our drone back. If no-one was home, then we'd climb the damned gate. If they said no, well, we'd take that when it happened. No use borrowing trouble.
We traipsed up to the front door and rang the bell.
* * *
I'd been up late the night before. Very late. That meant that I'd slept in this morning. As a matter of fact it must have been nearly noon before I got out of bed. Seeing I was going to be going out again in a few hours I didn't bother getting dressed, just having a quick wash and tossing on an old silk robe I had. I didn't even bother to do up the tie, just letting the robe hang free. I followed that with what should be considered lunch, I guess.
I had a big date lined up for tonight and it was going to take me a bit of time to make sure I was properly primped for it, but right now I was just going to bum around the house, doing nothing and enjoying it.
I was sitting back watching some useless reality show, don't these producers know anything about real life, when the doorbell rang. I was tempted to ignore it on the grounds that it was probably a salesman, but you never could tell. It might be someone important, like the President or my mother. I clutched my robe closed and wandered over to the door and flung it open.
There was a cluster of nerds at my front door. Why in hell were nerds gathering at my place? Looking them over I had to correct that. Two nerds and a guy who looked like hired muscle. Why would nerds require a bodyguard? Silly question. To stop jocks beating up on them, of course.
I looked at them, waiting to be told what they wanted. They just stared back at me like rabbits caught in a spotlight. It's nice to know that I can still fascinate nerds. The muscle at the back made a disgusted sound and pushed the two nerds to the side.
"We're sorry to disturb you," he said, flashing a brilliant smile at me, "but our drone ran out of power and landed in your back yard. We'd just like your permission to go and collect it."
Yep. They were nerds. Full of brains and forgetful of little details, like the need to put gas in your car. Or drone, in this case.
"Sure," I said, jerking my thumb towards the side of the house. "Help yourself."
The muscle spoke up before I could close the door.
"If you would be so kind as to unlock the gate?" he suggested, and I muttered a pithy word or two. I was not going to go hunting around for the key, mainly because I was feeling too damn lazy.
"I'll show you through to the back," I told him. "You two can wait there. I'm sure you friend can fetch your toy without breaking it."
I strolled through the house to the back door with the muscle following me. I made sure I was doing my model strut, swinging my feet so they landed in front of each other. That strut does amazing things to your buttocks and I just knew that the muscle's eyes were glued to my gluteus maximus.
* * *
We rang the bell and waited. I'd just about decided that there was no-one home when the door was flung open and there was a woman standing there. I could just about hear the twin thuds as Fred and Mike's mouths fell open, so wide agape that their jaws bounced off the floor. I like to think I showed a little more style that that.
The woman was a honey and a half. Playboy model material, slender with big breasts and shapely hips. Blonde and blue-eyed with absolutely flawlessly creamy skin. She was sensational and appeared to be dressed in a silk robe that clung to her curves in a most loving manner. If clothes have a sex then that robe was male and it was taking full advantage of its proximity to female perfection.
I waited for Mike to ask about the drone but I guessed he couldn't get any words out of his drooling mouth. Same with Fred. Both of them were just looking at the lovely lady, totally entranced. She just looked back at them, amused.
I grunted and pushed the idiots to one side, then explained about our drone dilemma. She promptly indicated that we could trot around to the back and get it and she couldn't give a damn. Before she could slam the door on our faces I quickly explained that the side gates were locked.
She looked rather put upon, but indicated that I should follow her through the house, telling Mike and Fred to just wait where they were. She didn't actually say Sit, Stay, but the pair of them got the message.
She walked off, apparently assuming that her wishes would be obeyed, and I followed her through the house. I must admit to admiring her figure as she walked in front of me. Her bottom swished about, doing nasty things to my libido.
* * *
I opened the back door and straight away I could see this thing sitting in the middle of the yard.
"Your drone, I assume," I observed, nodding towards it.
