It's raining.
That shouldn't matter to me now, not after the events of today, but it does. I'm getting soaked: my chestnut hair is plastered to my cheeks and my white silk shirt is clinging to my stomach and breasts like it was painted on. I'm sitting on the curb, a duffel bag beside me, and the memory of my boyfriend fucking my best friend on the bed upstairs fresh in my mind. Ex-boyfriend. Ex-best friend.
And now I'm alone, on the curb like a lost doll, a broken toy. I am tired, so fucking tired. And I have nowhere to go, nobody to run to.
I pick up my bag and brush wet tendrils of hair out of my eyes. Today was shit, sure. But I am still Anna Montgomery—I am still strong. I walk down the street like I have somewhere to go; the city at two A.M. is wet and tired and dirty like I am, and it feels like home. The red neon sign of the nearest bar beckons me like a siren; I duck into the entrance without really thinking about it.
Ten seconds later, I'm sitting at a black leather barstool and my clothes are dripping rainwater onto the honey-colored wooden floor. The bartender takes one look at me and shakes his head. "Bad night, love?"
"You could say that."
"Your first drink's on me," he offers, "but first, come with me."
I follow him numbly into a tiny back office, where he offers me a frayed blue towel and a place to put my bag. I wring out my hair, try to soak the water from my shirt and skirt. I feel the bartender's eyes on me as I towel off my chest; I feel his gaze tracing the edges of my black lace bra, my nipples pressing up against the flimsy fabric. I look up to meet his gaze—green eyes, predatory smirk. He takes a step closer, too close. "Whoever he is, he's an idiot," he whispers. He pushes my hair behind my ear, traces the full curve of my lower lip with his thumb.
Without thinking, I'm leaning into his hand, hungry for the solid warmth of his skin. I press myself against his broad chest, shivering against the heat of his body. His muscles tense at my touch and his arms tighten around my waist, his pinkies pressing against my hips while his thumbs rest against my ribcage.
"Fuck me," I breathe, too tired and sick to think of rejection or embarrassment or polite formalities. It's all so silly, anyway. This whole damn world is so fucking silly.
He steps back to look at me, his hands moving up to my arms. "You don't want that, baby."
"I do, I really do. I'm done with everything. I'm so done." My words are spilling from my lips too quickly, but I don't care. I don't care about anything. I want to be pushed against the wall. I want to be hurt. I want to feel something, anything besides this hollow sadness. I want pain, anger, passion, lust.
"What do you want, love?" He presses his hips against mine, and I feel the hard heat of his cock straining through his pants. "Do you want me to kiss your lips and make love to you like a little princess?"
"No." I'm breathless.