Nice Guys Finish Last

My ex-wife was always bitching at me how I never got her off. I was always finishing before her. "Nice guys finish last" she told me and I now know it's the truth.

This is how I know this. I was staying at my best friend's condo down by the beach because I had recently split up from my wife.

It was amicable I told myself but rejection always hurts and leads to anger and regret and a lot of phoney soul searching as I later found out.

I'd been doing the guilt trip, you know how it is: none of this would have happened if only I had treated her nice. I thought I had been but it turns out I was just a selfish bastard; who had to give up half of his house.

So what's my lesson? I asked myself. So I was nasty, possessive, judgemental, and good with real estate - I could be nicer to whoever it was I was fucking next time. Or would I? I'm definitely going to get a pre-nup next time.

My bestie had a gorgeous wife, quite a looker but not much of a dynamo around the house, if you know what I mean (let's face it she was a slut).

I thought: I can solve at least two problems with one action. I can get rid of my guilt, clear up my bestie's house and put myself in his wife's good books (and get her to fuck me) at the same time.

So there I was in the kitchenette with my best friend's wife. She was sitting there drinking coffee and filing her nails, wearing a skimpy top and a very short skirt. At a guess she had no panties on under there; but who am I to judge?

"I've mowed the lawn, cleared the gutters" I said and then I itemised a couple of dozen other tasks I did on the property; "and then I shaved your dog".

I was wondering if she had recently shaved her bush, she wasn't very house proud, but she might be down there (it got me curious, is what I mean).

"Well thank you" she said smiling me and twiddling her hair in a flirtatious way that got me really turned on.

"And if there's anything else you would like me to do" I rambled on "please let me know". Why was I doing this I wondered, I must be thinking with my cock?

It was a creepy feeling. I was so desperate for her skanky body and knowing that she knew it. This is what I feel like when they haven't had a fuck for about a day.

At the same time I felt like chicks do sometimes when they walk past a building site knowing that the guys are watching them, hating it and wanting it too, in other words: naked and afraid.

"Well as a matter of fact" she said smiling a lopsided smile, "I think there is something you can do". I got the idea. It could have been the smile or it could have been the way she took off her top. She was wearing a lacy bra that hardly covered her breasts.

Then we found ourselves in each other's arms. It seemed perfectly natural to her, even though she was my bestie's wife. But not to me it didn't.

I thought: oh no, not more guilt! "I don't know if we should be doing this" I prevaricated but her hand on my belt buckle kind of said "yes!"

She had my pants off real quick and soon she had her mouth on my knob. It felt amazing. Like I had just inserted my penis into the hoover and it was switched to maximum suck.

I thought: I'll get this over with quickly (cos I was about to ejaculate) and then I can go and finish a couple of jobs I have just thought of out in the yard.

She was in no hurry to let me go, she grabbed hold of me and kept sucking, she had a whole lot of penis in her mouth. The head of it kept bumping her tonsils and she kept gagging and I thought any minute she is going to make me cum.

Maybe it would be better if she deep throated me rather than me cumming in her cunt, I thought. But she would have none of it. It was like she could read my mind.

Once she had gotten me hard she was dropping her panties and she literally sucked me into her vagina (she was very tight, I remember - maybe this isn't the only job my friend had let slip I thought).

I fucked and fucked her in a very unusual place; the breakfast nook on a very hard granite table top, which was good because I could wipe the giz off with a cloth.

Not so her vagina which was splattered with loads of my love juice, it was pouring out of her cunt and down her shapely tanned legs. But what difference did it make I thought; her hubby doesn't seem to be going there any time soon.

I came and we instantly went into disaster mode. She quickly mopped up the giz and I put on my pants and went about my work outside, like I was a handyman or something.

Later that night I was lying alone in my single bed in the guest room and I could hear it all going off next door. My friend was getting his rocks off; it seemed that I had relighted that horny chick's fuse.

She was screaming in ecstasy and her head was bumping against the marital headboard which was right up against the adjoining wall where I was trying to sleep.

I was jealous but she was his wife. What I want to know is: was she really having a good time or was she making all that noise for show?

No one makes that much noise naturally during sex. I've known chicks that make no sound at all, just the sound of the slap, slap slapping of my balls against their arse. But I digress.

I was obsessed about that woman. Only hours before I have been banging that that chick and now she was literally banging on the wall behind my head. It really irritated me.

It's not that I was horny, the fact that it was my mate who was banging her pretty much acted like a bucket of ice water but there was this angry feeling in the pit of my gut that the noise triggered off and I couldn't tell who was most I was most angry at: him or her?

I was resigned to her being married to him but I couldn't forgive him for leaving her in my path. Regret is a terrible thing and I was feeling it by the truckload. How did I let myself get into this situation in the first place?

I remember that I lay there my stomach clenching and unclenching, listening to them going at it hammer and tongs. It wasn't a situation conducive to sleep. I lay there for hours after they had passed out, presumably in the pool of their own cum.

Next day I made myself scarce, packed my bags and headed out on the road. Found a job as a loan shark, not much of a job, just anything to keep myself busy and stop myself from thinking about her and how much I hated my ex-wife (the grasping bitch!)

This went on for some time, my travelling and banging heads until one day I found myself back on her part of the world. It came as a bit of a shock when she opened the door and I saw her standing there the same as ever: brazen, slutty and as I quickly realised; totally in my control.

I took it easy, not even acknowledging to her that I knew her, guessing that since I had gone she had plenty of the shoes of my friend's pals under her bed.

I walked into her kitchen making pleasantries and inside my head I was really working myself up, remembering all the anger I felt for her as a surrogate for my ex-wife.

We were standing near the fridge. Her so coy and twiddling a lock of a bleach blonde hair, she thought she was so cute.

I couldn't help it any more. I pushed her against the fridge. I changed the look on her face real fast I can tell you. Suddenly she was wide-eyed; I had her attention all to myself.

"You owe me $40,000" I told her, yanking her hair back "and you can pay it to me or you can work it off on your back", not that that would be a hardship I thought bitterly.

She cried and moaned and I thought two things: there's no way you're going to pay that money back with the pocket money my friend gives you and; how did you ever snort that much cocaine?

I pushed her skanky head down, level with my cock. I dragged it out of my pants, it was already hard. "Open your mouth" I yelled at her.

To my surprise she opened her mouth. I pushed my penis down the back of her throat and she liked it. She must have been used to this kind of request.

She gurgled helplessly as I jammed it down her throat again and again. Fucking that chick in the mouth felt very therapeutic but not the same as it did with my ex-wife.

There wasn't the vitriol and animosity. Anyway, she didn't come and I didn't care. Nothing's perfect, I thought to myself as I came in her mouth.