She couldn't remember the first time she saw him. It seemed that he'd been around for awhile, living in the apartment building next door to hers. A glimpse of motion, a car in the street with a face in profile framed by the window, a voice calling out a daughter's name were only formless memories.
But the first time she became aware of him was like seeing a color photo after years spent looking at grainy black and white images in newsprint. She could recall the moment with perfect clarity. She'd been standing, looking out her window, when he walked out of his apartment and went to the mailboxes that were situated on the side of the building. There was no reason, that she could discern, why this moment would be different. But it was. She found herself liking the way he moved. Relaxed but with a gentle power, at home in his body. She watched until he returned to his apartment and disappeared inside. And knew she had to watch him again.
It was strange. It made her feel like a voyeur. But she couldn't help herself. It became a secret source of sustenance. Much like the friendships she'd started making through her computer. The ones her husband sort of knew about but didn't pay any attention to.
And then watching wasn't enough. She began taking the dogs out for their walk at the times she knew he might be outside. And they started to say hello to each other, smiling, nodding, giving friendly waves. She liked his face. He seemed open, friendly, and direct.
For several weeks she really didn't think about why this was happening. And then she became aware of what her body was telling her. She realized that seeing him aroused her. Not fiery passion and drenching wetness. But it was there. And it was growing.
And then one day, while she was out with the dogs, he and his daughter came walking towards her, apparently on their way back from the convenience store. They'd never actually met like this before and it made her a little nervous. Not fearful, but restless with anticipation. He stopped when they were just a few feet apart. She did too.
"Hi, I'm Roger," he said. She responded to his warm open smile with one of her own. "I think it's about time we introduced ourselves since we see so much of each other. This is my daughter Amy."
"Hi Roger. I'm Ella. Hi Amy." The little girl smiled shyly.
"See you around then," he said, and he and Amy moved on.
But now there were snatches of conversation. Mostly about the weather, references to activities planned for the day. There was also a faint undercurrent of tension. She wondered if it was just her.
ROGER SAT AT HIS COMPUTER looking through profiles on the AFF personals site. His divorce had been final for over two years now and he hadn't been with a woman in all that time. For many months he hadn't even thought about it; it was just too painful. The divorce had been brutal and the emotional wounds had taken a long time to heal. He wasn't sure they had really healed, even now.
But he was beginning to want someone. Not something very serious, maybe. A friend. Someone to hold. Laughter. He missed just lying in bed with a woman, both of them naked, sharing an intimate laugh. So he'd started looking around on the Internet. AFF seemed like a good place to start because a lot of the women, as far as he could tell, were looking for the same thing he was. The only problem was that most of the local women he contacted either didn't reply or stopped writing after a couple of emails. He had met two women face to face but the chemistry just wasn't there.
He'd made several long distance friends and discovered he enjoyed cybersex. It wasn't the real thing but it sure beat masturbating alone. It was nice to share the experience. One of his friends had shown him the excitement of a webcam and he'd bought one so he could join her. They'd been having a lot of fun together.
The thing was, though, there was someone he had his eye on. Ella, the woman in the apartment building next to his. But she might as well be as far away as his long distance friends. He didn't know what her situation was. The likelihood that she'd want the kind of no strings relationship that he was looking for seemed infinitesimal. And he wasn't the kind of guy to take a shot at it just to see if he could get some, to Hell with the consequences. For one thing it hurt too much to be turned down.
But he sure did like her. Couldn't say what it was. But there was a glow that seemed to radiate from her that warmed his heart. Lifted his spirits. It had begun to mean a lot to him that they seemed to see each other at least once a day. The days they didn't were dull and dreary, no matter how brightly the sun was shining. He liked her body. He'd always liked full figured women, so soft and warm and full of mystery. With a thin woman it was pretty much all out there and the mystery was gone. But exploring a big woman's body, oh shit, thinking like this would only drive him crazy. Ella wasn't interested in him. He tried to connect with his webcam pal but she didn't respond.
ELLA WAS LYING IN BED with the covers pushed back. Her husband had been gone when she'd awakened. She tried to figure out what time it was from the angle of the sun coming in the windows but soon gave up. It was Sunday morning and the time wasn't really important. She pulled up her nightdress and spread her legs halfway open. Sweet tinglings of arousal flowed through her body. It felt good to lie open this way in the sunlight. She thought about going into the bathroom and getting the foot thingie she used like a vibrator but it seemed like too much effort. Her hand slid down and she touched herself with the tips of her fingers. Candy had begun to ooze just a little.
Roger entered her thoughts with that easy powerful walk he had. She tried to imagine what it would be like to touch him. He was nearly a foot taller than she was, big although not built up, and had a bit of a pot belly. In her mind she ran her hands over his tummy, up the sides of his rib cage, and then over his back just below his shoulders. She could almost feel her breasts pressing against the lower part of his chest. And his arms around her. Candy was definitely getting into the action now. Especially when she thought about his hard cock pushing against her belly. Oh yes, Candy was so hungry for the sensation of that warm hardness burrowing sweetly into her folds. She was crying for it. Hot slick tears. Ella moistened the tips of her fingers in Candy's tears and teased the hard button of her clit. Oh yes.
Roger was fucking her now. She could feel his weight. Her hands were caressing his sides and back. He was grunting with pleasure. He was telling her how much he loved fucking her. He was cumming. He was cumming. And so was she.
Ella languidly swam back into an awareness of the sunny Sunday morning. There was an edge of disappointment in her pleasure, though. This Roger was just a fantasy. The real Roger would never hold her in his arms. After awhile she got up and put on her bathrobe. Maybe she'd turn on her computer and look into that AFF personals site a friend had told her about.
ROGER SAW ELLA WALK down the sidewalk of the apartment building next door with her two dogs on their leashes. It seemed like an excellent time to take a walk himself. His daughter was in school so he was alone. Carefully he timed it so that they'd meet at the end of the sidewalk to his building.
"Hi Ella," he said. "I was just headed down to the 7-11."
"These mutts were bugging me to take them out in the worst way. I'm trying to figure out if they own me or I own them."
"I know what you mean," Roger laughed. "My first wife's toy poodle had her wrapped around his little paw."
"You're on your second wife?"
Roger involuntarily took a deep breath. Ella could see the look of pain in his face and it made her heart go out to him.
"I'm on no wife. My second divorced me too. And I couldn't even tell you why."
"I've been divorced twice too," Ella said. "I know how much it hurts."
Roger smiled grimly and nodded. "Well, I'd better get to the store before Amy gets home."
"Okay. Nice to chat with you."
"Same here."
'She's divorced.' Roger thought to himself as he walked down the street. 'Maybe there's hope after all.' He got so carried away in thinking about Ella that he walked right past the 7-11 and had to back track. He was still deep in thought when he got home. A plan was taking shape in his mind. Now, if he could just find the courage to implement it.
That night, after making sure Amy was tucked in, he lay in his bed. He felt restless. He'd kept his bathrobe on in case he decided to go out into the living room and watch TV. But the thought wasn't very appealing at the moment. He wondered what Ella was doing right now. He fumbled his hand between the folds of the robe and found his cock. It was half hard. It felt good to hold it in his hand. He imagined Ella, naked, on all fours on the edge of his bed, her legs spread apart. He could feel the smooth skin of her bottom under his hand. He was hard now. His fingers were finding the juicy opening of her cunt. Probing into her. She was wet. She was moaning. He knew she wanted him. Wanted him to fuck her. Fuck her deep. He was watching his cock slide between the full cheeks of her ass. And she was pushing against him. She was saying, "Fuck me Roger, Oh Roger, fuck me." And he was shooting his cum out over his chest and belly.
ELLA HAD BEEN ON the AFF site for a week now. She'd spent a lot of time on it and was getting the hang of things. At the moment she was updating her profile, adding more information. She'd had some responses to the first profile she'd put on but, although a couple looked promising, most of them didn't appeal to her at all. They were either too short, too crude, or contained a penis pic without a face. Like any of that was going to make fall on her back and spread her legs.
She'd also browsed through the listings of men in Mississippi and Tennessee. Again, some sounded promising but most of them seemed too single minded. Simple minded. But there was one she liked a lot. And he lived nearby, his profile said. He hadn't included a photo but she felt that his words came from the heart. He said he wanted sex but in an open human way. Reading between the lines she could feel his loneliness. It made her hurt for him.
She'd found herself going back and reading his profile again and again. As soon as she'd finished her new profile and clicked to update it she went to read his profile once more. And, on impulse, sent him a "wink".
ROGER LOGGED ON TO AFF. But he was beginning to wonder why he bothered. He still had his long distance friends but it seemed that finding someone close by was a lost cause. As soon as his home page came up he saw that he'd received a "wink" from a woman whose handle was "Friend4u". He opened her profile. And liked what he saw. But when he thought about contacting her a heavy weariness fell over him. He just wasn't up to dealing with another disappointment. He logged out and shut down his computer.
On his way to the kitchen he glanced out the window and saw Ella walking her dogs towards her apartment. It was time to put his plan in motion.
"Amy," he called. "How'd you like to go out to eat?"
His daughter ran into the room with her face aglow. "Awesome, Dad."
"Do you mind if I invite a friend to come along?"
Amy's face closed down a little but Roger didn't notice. "No, that's okay, Dad."
They walked across to Ella's apartment building. He knocked on the door he'd seen her enter once while driving by. Her front door was on the opposite side of the building from his apartment.
ELLA HAD BEEN WATCHING from her window. The moment she'd realized that he and Amy were headed in her direction she knew what was going to happen. It made her sick with anxiety. She prayed she was wrong. Her husband looked at her from his easy chair when the knock came, glancing away from the TV. She walked to the door, her heart twisting in her chest.
"Come in Roger," she said, trying to sound cheerful. "I'd like you to meet my husband and my daughter."
She could see that the news that she was married appalled him. His face went white. It made her almost want to cry.
"Uhh, no, I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I thought. You said you were divorced and I thought. God, I'm sorry. I was going to ask you out for a hamburger. Never mind." He turned and left abruptly, holding Amy's hand. Now she was crying, turning her head as she passed her husband's chair. He didn't seem to see her tears.
ROGER FELT DEVASTATED. And like such a fool. He should have made sure Ella was really available before blundering in the way he had. Why did it have to be so hard to find a woman willing to hold him in her arms? And not just a warm body, but a friend as well? Why did this have to hurt so goddamned much?
