My Relationship with Grace

My Relationship With Grace

First real relationship moves fast, I get trapped, pent up, bitter and it ends in dark chaos.

I first met Grace while working in Tesco, she was on the same department as me. She started a couple months before I had really registered her existence because I was still intimate with another girl called Gwen. Gwen and I had not worked because she had already planned to move to China to teach English. I did have a relationship with Gwen when she returned to the UK years later but that's a story for another time.

When I really started to get to know Grace, I was at a point in my life where I was trying to be positive, work hard in all matters, be kind and helpful to everyone around me. I was getting a lot of joy from giving, so I tried in my Tesco shifts to get all my work done as fast as possible so I could help my fellow colleagues. I found myself helping Grace a few times and we got on well.

She was just about to start doing her PhD in the local University while working in Tesco part time which is probably why I felt like our conversations were intellectually stimulating to me. She did have a boyfriend who lived a couple hours drive away which at first meant nothing to me because we were just colleagues getting to know each other in a friendly manner. Funny enough, her boyfriend was an accountant and that was what I was studying towards at the time - I was doing the AAT course part time in my local college.

As time went on and we kept having a great time together in work, thing progressed. I remember one day Grace quite bluntly said to me,

"We should be friends outside of work."

I think at this point I noticed some tension starting to build. I agreed but it got the cogs in my brain turning considering she had a boyfriend. The girl I had been sleeping with for about 9 months before Gwen was Amy. Quick point here, Amy was from America and over in the UK in the same house share as me doing a Masters degree. In the year we lived together, we started sleeping together and fell in love. Problem was that she already had a boyfriend back in America who she decided to go back with leaving me heartbroken.

Lesson learned from that was I was not going to be anyone's 2

nd

option ever again. I saw potential for the same scenario to play out with Grace, so I had to be careful to protect myself.

I think the first time we socialised outside of work was when we went to the gym together, had a swim then relaxed in the hot tub. There were definitely some flirty vibes happening when we were stripped down to our swimming attire. I can't quite remember how I worked it into the conversation but while I had been in the water I looked at Grace and claimed,

"I love getting my beard wet... I like how it looks."

Being able to play under the guise that I was innocently referring to my appearance in these conditions but really, I was letting her know how much I love to eat pussy.

We went on many walks together late at night after work when there was not a soul around and we were genuinely bonding well but I was not making any moves while she had a boyfriend. There was a time when she came over to watch a film. We were on the couch in the living room, she rested her head on my lap and fell asleep.

It was so adorable that she felt comfortable in my presence to fall asleep. I had two conflicting thoughts at this time, firstly I was thinking about how close her face was to my cock and how I hope to God I didn't get hard. The thought of my hardening cock nudging her face, waking her up and her losing her shit at me was terrifying.

The other thought was remembering the start of the Zombieland film where the main character just wants to find a girl that he can stroke her hair behind her ear. I was thinking I would love to run my fingers through Grace's hair right now. Much later I found out she knew exactly what she was doing by resting her head on my lap.

We started getting more comfortable around each other, she would come over to hang out after we worked together. It got into a bit of a routine that she would want to change out of her Tesco work top into a comfy T shirt. Instead of going to the bathroom to do this she would just do it in the corner of my bedroom which was about 2 metres by 3 metres if that.

She would face away from me in the corner of the room knowing I was looking, take her top off so I would see her topless from behind before she put on her comfy t shirt. At this point and other events to come we were definitely already crossing the line for her relationship because I wouldn't have been happy with a girlfriend of mine doing these things with another man.

However, I am very black and white in my thinking, and I had already decided that the line not to be crossed was kissing. Events such as lying in bed together cuddling, her telling me she likes getting choked during sex, me choking her in my bed with my lips inches away from her mouth - I had convinced myself that this was not making her cheat because it was not kissing.

Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend after I made it very clear that I did have boundaries while she was in a relationship. The same day she broke up with her boyfriend she came to stay at mine that night and we cuddled.

The next day we went for a walk to the local Waitrose supermarket and on the way back I stopped her, held her and had our first kiss together. As soon as we got back into my bedroom, we eagerly had our long awaited first time together. I warn you; it was in some ways horrendously awkward, and I get embarrassed just writing about it.

In my bedroom, onto my single bed we were making out heavily. We couldn't get enough of each other. She stood up to take off her clothes and I was taking in every detail of her beautiful body. Grace was 5 ft 7 with long dark hair, medium build with a bit of an alternative look to her. She had lovely big tits, I really should know her actual size since I dated her for over a year but sadly I don't.

I was wide eyed and lost in this hot girl in front of me that I have been wanting to fuck for what had felt an eternity but in reality, only a couple months. I was lying on me bed taking my clothes off and when she came over naked to grab my cock in her hands, she said,

"I knew you would have a big cock, just by the way act."

She engulfed my cock with her mouth, and it felt amazing. Pumping my cock with her hand in sync with her mouth bobbing up and down on my cock. This girl knew what she was doing, and I was loving it.

I wanted to give Grace pleasure too, partly motivated just for her pleasure but also partly motivated to show off what I thought was my amazing oral skills. I moved us around, so she was lying down on her back as I kissed down her body to reach her pussy. I have to say, Grace has the perfect pussy, it looked beautiful and tasted heavenly.

I went in focusing my tongue on her clit just as I had learned from my time with the American Amy. Grace was moaning in pleasure but before long, she wanted me to be inside her. I moved on up, positioned my cock over her entrance and slid into her wet pussy. Not only did the physical sensation feel incredible but the long-awaited connection with this person that I have been bonding with over the past few months was other worldly.

From previous conversations I knew that Grace liked both hard/rough sex and slow sensual sex. I began slow while she got used to my size, moving together and continuously kissing. As the passion grew, so did the pace of our love making until it became fucking. Grace was now screaming rather than moaning as I fucked her hard and fast pushing us both to our limits.

Then slowing down again, reading her body and her queues I was getting into a steady rhythm of fucking when I felt myself getting closer and closer. I had not thought this far ahead before we started having unprotected sex. I had no idea if she was on contraception or not.

When with Gwen, we used to fuck multiple times a day and I would cum inside her almost every time without even asking. I kept the pace and rhythm going not wanting to slow down and deny Grace the pleasure she was experiencing. I was getting closer faster than I could think of what I could do. I asked Grace,

"Can I cum inside you?"

Her response was, "Sorry, what was that?"

I should say at this point that Grace is partially deaf, she struggles to hear certain tones so would often look at people's lips while they were speaking. At this point it was too late, I was cumming. My need to be good at sex, to keep the rhythm going while she was clearly enjoying herself had been my downfall.

I couldn't let her know I was cumming so I awkwardly tried to keep my best poker face as I exploded inside her. I even tried to keep thrusting, but it was so bloody sensitive that I had to stop after about another minute. It felt awkward not only because I accidentally busted a nut inside who I thought would be my future wife but also because I had asked a question, and it wasn't heard. I stopped and said,

"Let's have a break, I was asking you if I could cum inside you."

Grace responded, "Oh, normally guys don't ask, they just do it."

This should have been another red flag to me that I missed.

The red flags I have seen so far are she is used to being treated like a piece of meat and okay with it. She is more than happy to cheat on her partner when someone better comes along. In the couple weeks after we first had sex before I officially asked her out, even though we had this dynamic building up for a while and she knew we both interested in more than just hook ups, she still went and kissed someone else on a night out.

She was still friends with most of the people that she has previously fucked and never turned someone down that wanted to fuck her. When we got into a relationship, early on she would have a go at me when drunk. She once asked me to empty the vacuum cleaner before I went to work which I did. For some reason she thought I didn't and when I was picking her up at the end of her drunk night she started complaining,

"When I tell you do to something like empty the vacuum cleaner, I expect you to do it."

I laughed so hard at the time because of how ridiculous this was but I should have taken more note of the toxic behaviour.

Another time she lied about something quite small but the point was that she defended her lie to the point of saying,

"It really upsets me that you don't believe me."

Upon my request she looked me dead in the eye and said,

"I am not lying to you."

From the way she was speaking she seemed honest to me. But the story didn't make sense, so I investigated and found out she did lie, and she then confessed.

We moved really fast in our relationship; within a month I moved into the small two-bedroom house she was renting. A couple months later and we bought a dog, a couple months after that and we had committed to a joint tenancy agreement on a larger house together. Then I was trapped.

At the start of the relationship Grace dropped the hint that she would have a threesome with me once and only once if I wanted it. Back then, this might sound strange, but I really didn't want a threesome or group sex. I had struggled most of my life with finding someone that wanted to date me, this was my first real labelled relationship, and I just wanted to be with someone who wanted me and for me to be enough.

Nevertheless, the idea was planted in my head. I had a month-long holiday to China coming up, booked when I was supposed to go visit Gwen before I got with Grace. When I got into a relationship with Grace, Gwen didn't want to talk to me anymore. Grace wanted to come to China with me and even put out the idea that I could have many threesomes with her and Gwen if Gwen wanted that. Tempting but Gwen wasn't talking to me anymore and I wanted to do most of the holiday on my own so Grace only came for the final week of my holiday.

Just before my holiday to China I felt like our sex life was getting stale. We first started off having sex every time we met up. As a 24-year-old I had a very high sex drive. I wanted to fuck multiple times a day, every day but was okay with having sex once a day. Now that I am 31, that seems like a lot of sex, and I would genuinely be happy with once a week.

So, we were having lots of sex, then as soon as I moved into the house she was renting, she started turning me down for sex often. It was almost like she was having lots of sex with me at first so that I wouldn't go seeking sex elsewhere. But now that I was in her home, she was comfortable knowing where I was always. I think it was a control honeypot thing, and I was the silly bear stuck with a mouth full of honey.

While I was in China, it gave me some time to think about my relationship. I was thinking maybe I need to focus more on pleasuring Grace. Maybe I have been too selfish in the bedroom. Yes, I always make sure she cums once before I cum but maybe I could be doing more.

It got me thinking how I could initiate better, instead of going about my day normally then cuddling and starting to kiss when we are in bed at the end of the day. When I got back, I put in a lot more effort. I was flirting with Grace throughout the day, being cheeky all the time, really building that sexual energy. I put a lot of focus into her pleasure during the times we played, and I did have a lot of fun doing it.

I specifically remember a time where I had her cumming several times, swapping between oral and PIV every time she came. For about a month I believe she was having the best sex possible. The problem was that it was all me making the effort and she wasn't doing anything to make me feel good or explore the things I was interested in sexually.

So, I stopped putting in so much effort. I thought if I just pulled back a bit that she would see that and put in more effort but that didn't happen either. This was at the point where we had just moved into a bigger house together and it was honestly stretching me financially to the point, I was losing weight being unable to feed myself properly.

I learned a lot of lessons from this relationship, including the importance of communicating my feelings immediately instead of putting up with something for the time being until it becomes a big problem.

Grace was fine financially, she had her PhD income, her Tesco income which was not taxed because she was a student, and she had her parents that were regularly sending her money. Grace made a comment once,

"Isn't this a lot better when we have sex occasionally instead trying to make it happen all the time."

This was the story of our relationship, I would always do everything I could to make Grace happy, she was having the best relationship, but I was miserable. It was so unbalanced, and I had lost all my confidence.

One-time, lying in bed together side by side, I went silent and got really upset. Grace asked what was wrong and kept asking until I answered,

"I just realised that I don't know how to initiate sex with you anymore. The only time we have sex is when you initiate, and I never say no to that. Every time that I have tried to initiate in the past several months you have said no. It has got to the point that I don't even know how to initiate."

This was a low point for me.

At times where Grace wouldn't want sex, I would often masturbate instead even if she was lying next to me. I would watch porn, and I think the seed of group sex was still in my head because I found myself watching a lot of threesome porn. Grace noticed this after a while and commented on it. It was a very tentative conversation because my confidence was at an all-time low. But we did have the conversation and agreed we could try having a threesome.

It became normal for us for a while to talk about a hypothetical threesome scenario while we had sex. Grace would say something like,

"Can you imagine if there was someone sat over there watching me suck your cock? Wouldn't it be so good if they sucked your cock with me?"

It was a lot of fun, it was always nameless, faceless people that we would dirty talk about.

I was at a point in the relationship where I was thinking about ways to get out, but I felt trapped financially. I couldn't afford to pay out my tenancy here and live somewhere else. In the end I took out a credit card so I could afford to end the relationship but that came later.

At this point all we need to know is that I was highly emotional, frustrated with Grace for how shit of a partner she was and feeling reckless. We started speaking about who we could have a threesome with. I mentioned this other girl Phoebe in work who was 19, was hot and I swear she was into me (post relationship found out this was true).

We spoke about a few different people, and it felt liberating to be honest. She told me about a guy in work she found attractive too. We spoke about each other's friends and spoke about which we would enjoy having sex with. This was such a taboo topic but felt so freeing to be able to tell Grace which of her friends I found hot, and it was also freeing to know Grace could be honest about which of my friends she liked.

Again, a misunderstanding, I thought Grace asked me this, but she didn't, so I accidentally admitted that I had masturbated over her friend Alice several times. Grace took this in stride very well. Alice was Grace's best friend, she was about 5 ft 9, partly of Dutch descent, gorgeous red hair, an impeccable body with great ratios of tits, to waist to arse. I thought she was stunning the first time I met her.

We still hadn't agreed on anything practical in terms of a threesome. At this point we had just said we were open to the idea. I was saying that we should agree on boundaries now before we do anything to make sure no one gets upset. Grace would say we should just go with the flow and see what happens naturally.

The night things got a bit crazy...

We went out for a drink together with Alice. Just a casual drink in the pub. Grace had mentioned to me earlier that day that it was international kissing day whatever that is. We were in one pub having a good time, laughing and joking. I was sat next to Alice in a booth with Grace opposite. It felt good to me just being so close to Alice after what me and Grace had spoken about.

Moving onto the next pub and the alcohol was probably giving a bit more of a buzz that I realised. I was sat opposite Grace and Alice this time. They were very much having their own conversation at this point, talking about their own experiences of having nipple piercings. They were looking at each other and discreetly pulling down their tops slightly to show what their nipple piercings looked like. They weren't pulling anything down far enough for me to see anything and anyway I was trying not to look thinking it was the right thing to do.

On my way back from the bathroom I bumped into a Tesco colleague - it was Phoebe. We had a brief chat, and I said I was here with Grace, that she should come over to catch up. I was excited and thinking we could bring the idea of a threesome to her tonight. Not to have the threesome, just to talk about the idea.

When I sat down with Grace while Alice was at the bar, I mentioned who I had seen and suggested maybe we could just talk to Phoebe about it. I thought I was doing well, communicating and not making any moves without my partner being on board. I could have just said to Phoebe when I bumped into her that we wanted a threesome with, but I didn't. Guess it is because I am a saint.

By the time we got up again to talk to Phoebe, she wasn't there anymore. I messaged her and turned out she had gone home. We were both still quite primed and excited. I said to Grace,

"I have another idea, no worries if you don't want to do it but I think it would be really hot if you asked Alice if she would kiss you because it is international kissing day."