My Neighbour 'er Name Is Alice.

'Alice, you okay? Haven't seen you up and about this morning, Darling!'

'That's because I am dressmaking, you will invite me out to these do's and things and I have nothing to wear.'

'That's how I like you best, Alice, me Old Fruit, nothing on!'

'You have me all sore down there with what you did to me yesterday, Terry, you blooming sex terror!'

'I'm coming across to kiss it better for you, hang on!'

'Don't you dare! have to finish this dress and I have a slip to repair as well.'

'Oh! Alright, do you want anything brought in from the shops I have to go out later, the larder is bare.'

'Maybe like you are, you will catch your death you will, the way you go around all blooming naked like you do.'

'Haven't seen that daughter of yours lately. Has she got a new bed pal,? Poor fellow who ever he is. She will suck him in and blow out his boot laces. God! My balls are still sore from what she did to me last time.'

'She says the same thing about you, Terry. She wants to know where all your energy comes from? For a geriatric old fool you sure can keep us ladies happy! Her words, not mine.'

'Talking about sexual exercises, when are you going to drop your steel-plated knickers again, Alice, I am feeling like me dickididos been cut off and fed to the ducks.'

'That's what should happen to it! Then maybe I will get peace to do some work. I am putting the phone down, Terry. Will drop in on you later, much later.......Bye!'

I stopped to think about Molly, Alice's daughter, for those of you whom may have forgotten take a decko at this: Notes about Molly: 17 stones in weight. 5.9 in height and really well proportioned and muscular with all her farm labours. Tits and ass, four large matching globes of womanhood. I recognise her tits because she has nipples on them. Wears ill-fitting spectacles which drop down onto the hook of her nose, so she is looking over the top of them all the time. Obviously bought over the counter from an establishment sporting three -balls. She would make a very good Sumo wrestler.....cringe! When she bends down her pants drop down three inches revealing ten inches of rectumus-canyon. Daughter of Alice and (Bert.. deceased)..She is a large farmer lady married to Norris a Smallholding Farmer...was a bit of a mountain climber in his youth, but found his wife an insurmountable object, way above his climbing abilities. Molly always makes sure that Norris feels at home because she keeps his house looking and smelling like a pig-sty. Molly's sexual energies are world wide known. She is a walking, talking vaginal odour!

'Alice? You old bitch! You there?'

I slammed the phone down in disgust! Pesky women. Good for one thing, then they play hard to get!. John Thomas was looking forlorn and wilted this morning, smelling of Alice's frontal orifice and bum sniffingtons, not to mention an ounce of smegma or two. Time to give him a birthday and go for an anal evacuation, a douche, a shower and a shampoo.

The phone rang.

'Hello, Alice, you old fart! Knew you wanted it, have you got your smelly knickers off? '

'It isn't Alice, my name is June Harper from the City Council. I trust I am speaking to Mr. Terry' Wilkinson?'

'Oooooops! Sorry Darling, what can I do for you?'

'I am with Housing Benefits and I would like to come to speak to you in regards to reviewing your benefits, it is just a normal two year check, Mr. Wilkinson, there is no need to be alarmed unless you have a job as a pilot with British Airways that you have not told us about.. When will it be convenient for me to visit you, I am in your area this afternoon, shall we say about 3 o'clock?'

'Yes that's fine, Miss. Sorry about earlier.'

'3 o'clock it is then, Mr. Wilkinson, and by the way mine were clean on this morning!'

I heard her laughing when she put the phone down. It rang again right away. ' Yes, Terry Wilkinson!'

'My. Oh! My! you are a posh git this morning, you old reprobate! Have they threatened to cut off your phone again for using bad language?'

'No, Molly. A woman from the council rang me and I thought it was your Mum. I was very rude thinking it was her. Need to watch what I say.'

'Woweeeeeeeeee! Are they going to put you out of there? Where, to an asylum? Got a posh name now ain't they like House of Mental Correction or something like that. Hope they put you in a straight- jacket to curb those wandering hands of yours.'

'You are glad of my wandering hands, Molly, no one else would be brave enough to give you a feel. Probably afraid of getting dandruff, the hair on your pussy needs a blooming full-time hairdresser to look after it.. It would be alright if you parted it down the middle, remind me to buy you a comb for Christmas.'

'I thought you said you were going to be polite on the phone?'

'Who? Me? To you? Anyway, what do you want?'

'Wondered if you were lonely and wanted a cuddle, I am feeling horny and thinking of you makes me feel horny. You know how fond I am of John Thomas?'

'Your Mums away up the hospital to get her legs seen to, I told her it should be 'er head they should be looking at, she did laugh, your Mum!'

'Good, so the coast is clear then and you ain't got an excuse, take your teeth out and clean'em, I am on my way, Lover-boy.' Oh! While I am thinking of that piece of scrap-iron, throw that Zimmer frame (walking aid) of yours into the coal-house, you won't be needing it for a while. Ooooooo! I can smell me pink frilly panties already.'

I put the phone down and put my head into my hands wondering what I had done, Molly and a council woman all in the same day of my miserable life, when will I ever learn?

Whistling a happy tune, I went for a shower. Paying particular attention to John Thomas, thinking of Molly's ample bum made him easier to clean. I used to call him Harry Shaftington until I met a woman in the local public house whose name was Betty Shaftington, Yep, you guessed it. Her hubby's name was Harry.

I did clean my teeth, they were manky. Clair-flipping-voyant that woman. Was in the bedroom toweling my magnificent three and half strands of hair dry when Molly sneaked in behind me and goosed my naked bum. At least I hoped it was Molly and not the electric-man. I was bending over and she put her gentle hand on my back which weighed 3 ton 15 pounds and 4 ounces exactly. Her goosing turned into anal penetration which only a farm-girl versed in the noble art of furrowing knows how to do to make your balls go jingle jangle jingle. I leaned on the bed and dug in for a siege, she was right again, I wasn't going anywhere. Molly carries a very mean strap-on cock in her bag everywhere she goes.

'You like this, don't you, Terry? You should get yourself a boyfriend.'

'Thought I had! You! That does feel nice.'

'Do you want me to fuck you, Darling?'

'Molly, you do ask daft questions for an old slut!'

'Freda likes my strap-on, I had it up her yesterday, begs for it she does. I ain't no lesbian, but I do like to lick a good pussy now and again and of course one thing leads to another.'

'They should give you a blooming uniform and a badge and a license for that rubber dicky of yours, you do good for the community you do, Molly. Aaaaagh! Go easy with that thing! Oooooooh! Screw me! That hurts!'

'You have a nice arse, you do, Terry. I love shagging you!' You take my 8 inches like you love it!' It's right up you just now. Does it feel nice? I am going to get one of these things that shoots cum one of these days, they are making them now you know. Fill the balls up you do. Then when I cum, I can shoot jism right up your arsehole! Need to get me a virile young bloke I can milk to get all his spunk so I can fill my balls. Need to start a spunk-bank, Terry! Would love to make you preggers.'

She had my old knees sore doubled up over my bed, her thusting hard and deep, causing me to moan out from each thrust.. I was scared stiff I was going to get cramp at any moment, but the pleasure she was giving me with her fake cock was something again. I was moaning with real passion as Molly acted her man-macho thing up my bum. I thought of her giving it to woman-mountain Freda, now that would have been a sight worth paying for. Molly is a big lady, but Freda is out of this world with an overlap! I would be scared to ram John Thomas into her because she would suck my balls in too and I would never see them again, my cock too for that matter. Her having a gorilla as a mate? King Kong? Yes, maybe.

Molly did a quick gear change from third to fifth and she was piston fucking me at the speed of sound, flesh slapping flesh! I was ooooing and arring, grunting and groaning and Molly was laughing like a mad banshee, what ever that is. 'Go on! Take my hard cock!' she was shouting. 'Woweeeee! Am I ploughing your ass, Terry-Boy! You're a bum boy! Only bum-boys take it up their arses like you do!' Suddenly she stopped, withdrew her dildo with a plop and then ripped off the strap on and threw it onto the bed and grabbed her knickers and shuffled herself into them pulling them up expansively over her big belly. Up trousers and did up her belt accompanied by a loud belch and a simultaneous fart.. Then she was out of the door shouting over her shoulder, 'Tell Mum I called, will you Terry.......Bye!'

I lay on the bed and began to realize it was wet under me I had cum and didn't notice it or had Molly peed? Is that why she got off her mark so quickly I raised up off the bed and it was soaking she had peed on me! Dirty Bitch! The time was one o'clock already. I hurriedly stripped the sheet off and turned the mattress and put a fresh sheet on and sprayed the room with a lavender spray and put on a fresh pillow case and quilt cover. Then I tidied the rest of the place while drinking a beer and eating a cheese sandwich with pickles. I sat down for a quick smoke at ten minutes to three. What time did she say she was coming this woman from the Council? I had forgotten. The door bell rang.

'Mr. Wilkinson?'

'Yes, who are you?'

'June Harper. Housing Benefits Officer from the City Council. This is my card.'

I opened the door, 'Come in, Dear, I am Terry.' I put out my hand to her and she took it and shook my hand. I held onto it and looked searchingly into her eyes. They were hazel. She looked back and didn't take her hand back. The signals were passed between us in that moment. Damn it! I had not lost it, I could still do it!

I took my hand back from her now sweaty palm, or was it mine?. I asked her to sit and she did, primly trying hard to tuck a too short skirt in around her shapely thighs. I moved a seat to sit right opposite to her (cos of me eyesight yer know!) and said, 'Why your visit Miss Harper?'

I was studying her, she had opened her jacket to reveal a white shirt and a pinkish bra beneath, just a restraining bra, see through almost. She must have seen my gaze because she pulled her jacket together a bit, but when she reached down to her brief case much to my joy it opened even further.

'I have to ask you a lot of questions Terry, please call me June if you wish me to use your christian name. Some of my questions maybe you will think very personal, but, I am sorry I do have to have the answers.'

'Fire away, June. Be as personal as you like!'

Her face coloured as she became aware that I was staring at her nipples which had erected somewhat because I was thinking she may have clocked John Thomas, who was getting my horny messages to him loud and clear and was growing in sympathy with the Housing Ladies thimble-like nipples.

'Does anyone else live in this house with you, such as lodgers or children?'

'No, no one.'

'Have you worked, been paid a salary since you last declared to us?'

'No. You said you were wearing knickers, what colour are they, do they match your bra?'

'I ask the questions, Mr. Wilkinson, not you!' They are pink too.'

'That's nice. I can see your bra. You might be kidding me as to the colour of your knickers. Are they knickers or panties. What's the difference, June?'

'Please, Terry, stop what you are doing. You do not know what you are doing to me with your very naughty chatter. Can you put something over your lap, what I can see is distracting.'

'You asked me if I had someone living here with me and I told you no. I was lying to you, there is this fellow here, his name is John Thomas, you want me to bring him out so you can see him, June?'

She lay back in her seat with her eyes closed muttering, 'oh! No, no, no , no!' Her knees came apart to reveal her pink panties. Pink panties with a wet patch highlighting her pussy.

'June Harper, you want JohnT don't you?'

She sat up, not bothering to close her legs and looked into my eyes. 'I have wanted you since I spoke to you on the phone. Your voice was so sexy, it made me wet listening to you. I came here for sex with you. Actually I am finished work and this interview is scheduled in my tomorrows work load. Yes I want your cock, Terry. I have not had sex for 4 years and I have been feeling so horny of late.'

'Hang on let me make a phone call just so as I can warn Alice not to disturb us. Horny old bitch will be over here and scratching your eyes out if I don't..' I tuned away from her to the phone and rang Alice. 'Hell! She is still out!'

'Are you cohabiting with her?'

'Woweeee! What does that mean?'

'Are you living together as husband and wife, Terry?'

'Omigod! No! Me living with old Alice? You have to be joking you do.'

'Having sex then?'

'Yes to that........... her daughter too! Just doing my duty, think they come for the bum sex really, they both love John Thomas here.' Her eyes were on my cock so I shook him at her, ' Isn't he nice? ' Her mouth was open. her tongue dripping saliva. I continued, ' Yes, they love this fellow right up their posterior channels. What about you, are you partial to anal gymnastics too, June?'

'Oh! Terry! What do I say to that? You dirty lovely old man! My ex-husband used to do it that way to me. Just the very thought of it turned my stomach. Thought he was weird. It hurt when he first put it into my bottom and I stopped him and was adamant when I told him no more of that!. He was always touching me there until finally I started to want it.. Oh! Yes! I begged him to do it to me...in my ass. It's nasty isn't it? I loved it! Wanted more, much more. Every time he pushed it hard up inside me I wanted it in deeper, much deeper. Your John Thomas will hurt me, Terry. He must be all of 8 inches. Bigger than my ex-husbands, promise me you will take it easy with me. My holes must have tightened up because of the lack of use. When did you last have sex with Alice and what's her daughters name?'

'Molly, daughters name is Molly. She was here this morning, she was.'

'Did you have her? Oh! Gosh! That was terribly forward of me!'

'Good Lord, Lass! No! Molly had me! She used that old strap-on of hers. Likes'er own way with folks, Molly does.'

'Gosh! Terry! Are you bisexual or something? You took a dildo, up your bum? She, had you? That conjures up some pictures in my mind!'

'Don't rightly know, June. Had a few guys do me, I have, in me time, you knows? But, I dunno if I was experimenting or needing it cos I was queer. I fairly enjoyed Molly's shenanigans this morning, I have to admit. right hard pumper, she is.'

'Are you going to make love to me or carry on talking all day?'

'Your fault for asking all your daft questions its obvious you likes the looks of John Thomas here. Ain't seen yours yet. How about taking them knickers off of yours and giving me a good old smell of them. Gets me going it does.'

She laughed at me and sprang up and quickly stepped out of her knickers and skirt so she was just standing there in her sani-belt, think that's what you call them belt things that holds up a woman's stockings. Shaved she was, nice pussy, all closed up like, just a naked slit showing. John Thomas jumped up like a young'en he did. Woweee! Was he raring to go! Me mouth was watering good style. I love the taste of pussy and when she grinned at me and said, 'Lay back and shut your eyes,' I obeyed. Well you have to, don't you? I felt the wet crotch of her knickers padded over my nose. 'Smell my love-juices, Terry. Go on, take a deep sniff, go on, that's it! Now open your mouth and taste them. I have always wanted to do this to a man, my husband would not let me do it to him. Go on, chew them! Suck on them!'

She was standing real close, close enough for me to give her pussy a good old groping.. I found her hot juicy hole and pumped a finger into it. She pressed forward onto my fingers and I felt her vagina throbbing and gripping onto my delving digitals, had two in, now I had. I had heard that office tarts were always ready for a damned good banging, they weren't kidding, they weren't.. The more I was handling this fine young lady, well Lady, could be in her fifties I would say. Fifty, fifty oneish. Still got a good figure a bit plumpish here and there, but highly attractive to young Thomas. After Molly this lady was a selected peach amongst rosy ripe peaches.

'Turn round, Lass. Let me see your ass.'

She turned, no hesitation, sexily, she turned. What a picture. John Thomas grew rock hard at such a delicious sight.. Her little brown rose-bud was framed by her belt and suspenders clipped into fully fashion black stockings. It was like June had stepped out of the thirties and forties. I had never seen such a sight that I was looking at now since a way back then. I wet a finger and touched her bud and watched it tighten up and then relax again as if she was telling herself that I was a friend, to let me in. June watched me wetting my finger in my mouth again, she smiled and allowed me to enter her botty this time.

'Just relax, Darling, I have to have a taste.'

I defied all odds and slipped to my knees, listening to my bones doing a castanet recital. I was reckless and carefree now. I defy anyone to accuse me of lacking bravery. I looked for my trusted Zimmer just in case I needed to retreat, but it was in the coal shed...That damned woman Molly! She told me to put it in there, I do not usually do as I am told. I must be going jerry-hat-trick, to be sure Either that, I have a love for Molly's deep striking dildo!

Anyway, there I was, on both me knees staring at the prettiest Star-of-Anus I have seen for a long time. Saliva started to fast track from the rest of me body leaving it sadly dehydrated to supply starters in this all emergency situation. I hope John Thomas sends out thank-you letters for all their kindness, I do. Anyway I had enough spit and June Harper let out a deep passionate sigh when I popped finger in to second knuckle. Lordy me! She was tight! As tight as a gnatess's vagina I would say, although it has been a long time since I was so familiar. I spat on her ass again, a thing you all know cannot be done with finesse. She responded, the Lady from the Council responded with a polite fart.. Made me laugh, it did. She too had a quiet , but boisterous guffaw. "Butt it made me titter, Your Honour!" "Silence in court! The next asinine remark will be treated as contempt!"

'Put your tongue in it, Terry! I love to feel a tongue in there.'

My fingers had opened her up nicely and I was stroking John Thomas to keep him on the boil. My tongue lapped and saliva painted her hole until I was able to wiggle my tongue into her rectum. Her bum sniffed of some kind of perfume, hard to say what, could have been a talc she had used. She was so hygienic it was painful. What did Molly do with the KY jelly? Bet she half-inched it! (pinched) There I was licking away and frantically looking for condoms and lubrication. I quickly stripped out of my trousers and pants and when I offered her my cock she looked passionately into my eyes and kept looking up at me as she took John Thomas into her saliva filled mouth. God! I almost came she had turned into a very hot sexy piece. I watched her roll her tongue around my rampant crown and then she tongue bathed my shaft taking in both my testicles which had my whole being throbbing. The lady was a Picasso of cock sucking and when she furrowed a finger into my rectum I gasped out uncontrollably with pent up passions. She had remembered my passion for anal and she was going for it like a woman possessed. My cock was glistening with a coat of saliva and she simply said, 'Now, Terry, do it!'