"You missed the turn...again!" Dara fumed.
"The damn sign is halfway behind a tree," Zane argued, "how is anyone supposed to see it?"
"We've been driving here for years, Zane!"
Zane could only sink his head and prepare for a U-turn. He hated driving to his in-laws. The streets in their neighborhood were confusing, and the mailboxes weren't allowed to have numbers. What's more, they lived in a private neighborhood. The houses were all being painted, so there were no numbers on them either.
Zane and Dara were your average couple. Just average in every way. They lived in suburbia; a boring, middle class hell for humans. Nothing ever happened. Everyday was the same...birds chirping, sun sets into the hillside, and morning papers land on the steps right outside their door.
'Painfully bland' was the phrase Dara used to describe their life to her best friend, Christie. You see, Christie had the life. She married her high school boyfriend, who just retired from a 14 year career in the NFL. They wiped their asses with money, and lived near other sickly rich people.
Christie and Dara spoke weekly and compared each others lives, usually ending with Dara admiring Christie's. Christie had all the plastic surgery done. Huge double D fake tits, botox in the lips, liposuction, you name it. Dara was 5 foot 4, barely filling out to 34B, starting to develop a tummy, and just good looking enough to get a compliment or two.
Zane was 6 feet tall; gaining weight, losing stamina and leagues away from his former high school track runner past. Layoffs at work meant more for those who remained to do. He had detached himself from his friends over time, lightly keeping in contact with 1 or 2 of them. He suffered from growing up.
As average as life could get, these two were barely holding on. Stress was taking its toll, arguing was routinely heard inside the walls of their home.
"When are we going to stop coming here every holiday, Dara?" Zane grumbled.
"What's wrong with coming here?" Dara became defensive.
"It's Columbus Day for crying out loud! We are wasting gas driving 40 plus miles to sit on the couch and entertain them."
"They're my parents, Zane!"
"I'm just saying, we need to do something worthwhile!" Zane mused, "Life has gotten so stale, I'm afraid if I move out of turn that my skin might crust and break off."
"Like what Zane," Dara snarled. "Another one of your golfing or hunting excursions? Speaking of wasting money..."
"Very funny," Zane mocked. "Instead of making fun of me, why don't you put that creative energy to use and look up something online."
"Maybe I will," Dara concluded as they pulled in the driveway.
The couple sighed...armed with fake smiles, they left the car and proceeded with their visit. As cookie cutter as it could get, Zane was stuck listening to stories from World War II, and Dara taking cooking lessons she'd heard 10 times over. Somewhere about the 3 hour mark, Dara walked in the living room and tapped Zane on the shoulder...motioning for him to follow.
"What is it, Dara?" he asked as she closed the door of her old room.
She closed in fast, planting a surprise kiss on him. The surprise was actually hers, as Zane barely gave any effort back. She withdrew slowly...gazing into his eyes, she realized exactly how stale their love had gotten.
"Want to try that again?" Zane attempted to act into the moment.
"We definitely need that vacation," Dara said as she turned away, opening the door trying to hold in her tears.
Zane just stared at the floor as a whirlwind of emotion came and went. He taught himself to bottle his feelings up, as he thought it did no good to start a war.
The drive home was quiet, even though both of their minds raced feverishly. Dara fought back the sadness she felt from her husband's lack of passion. Zane tossed around a million things to say, yet not one worthy to voice.
With a sigh, Zane reached up and pressed the garage opener. Back to the grind...he thought. Another day, just like all the others.
"I'm gonna take a shower," Dara voiced as she unbuckled her seat belt and pulled the handle on the door.
Zane exited the car as well, watching her enter the house. He couldn't have spoke to her if he wanted to, as the closing garage door's sound filled the room. In a flash, she was gone. He stood next to the car feeling horrible. Had his lack of passion ruined his marriage?
Later that night, he saw Dara clicking away at the computer. With a beer in his hand, he took a swig as he listened to her mumble.
"Too expensive," she clicked. "Too far," she clicked. "Screw that!" she clicked again. "Change your life?" she said aloud.
This caught Zane's curiosity as he walked over and looked over her shoulder.
"It says guaranteed to change your life," Dara said with an inquisitive tone. "Not to expensive either."
"Really?" Zane asked as he sipped his beer.
"Golden Island Getaway," she read, "be it 3 days, 7 days or more...you will return a changed person."
"How much is the 3 day?" Zane sarcastically asked.
"Its a trip to save our marriage and you are asking how much..."
Zane stood up offended and glared at Dara for a second, "...ok fine. How much for the 7 day?"
"Not bad at all," she said with a half smile. "600 dollars, all inclusive."
Zane leaned in surprised, "That's less than 100 dollars a day...what's the catch?"
Dara continued reading, "Enjoy a mini slice of paradise on your own single cabin, acre sized island. Every island has power, running water, daily food service and magic that will renew and empower your love like the day you met."
Silence took the room as they shared a desperate look into each others eyes.
"Let's do it," Zane leaned up taking another swig of his brew.
"Really?" Dara clapped her hands together, looking at him with watery eyes in excitement.
"Yeah, why not!" Zane smiled, seeing her full of life made him happy.
She quickly returned to the computer, clicking away as he took a seat in his recliner in the next room. It was Saturday night, time to watch the tube!
The next morning, Zane woke to the sound of the shower. He sat on the toilet as she greeted him. He looked through the shower doors at her body. He examined her frame in his mind. Her small boobs were less than flattering, and stomach was starting to stick out more. Hardly the sexy frame she had years ago.
With a flush, he entered the shower. Dara began to do the same in her mind. His balding head, arms that barely showed the toned muscles he once owned. Two pathetic inches of penis showed tucked into his growing pubic pad, hell it only got to 5 inches on a good day. Thickness? Lets just say she got good at faking it. She began to really hope this 'magic' made a difference in their lives.
"If you'll start packing, I'll go see Jeff and make arrangements for him to watch the dog," Zane spoke through the stream of water.
Dara agreed and left after a quick rinse. She dressed and pulled the suitcases down from the closet. Laying them on the bed, she opened them up and started thinking of how she'd pack. She stacked shirts, socks, underwear, and shorts. Her train of thought was broken by Zane as he neared.
