My Lost Love

"Why do you think that your wife agreed to marry you?" This seemed to be a strange question to ask a suspect in a murder investigation, but it was one that I had asked myself many times over the past three years.

"I guess that she loved me as much as I loved her." That was the best that I could do under the circumstances, after all we had expressed out mutual love every day for all of that time. I looked at the woman seated across from me, she was the 'good cop' of the team and I guess that it was her way of softening the process, of searching for a reason why I could have killed my wife rather than bludgeoning a confession out of me like the other half of the team.

I know a thing or two about interview techniques having had to conduct many of them in my time as Human Resources Director of Bramford Technologies, the company of which my wife was the Managing Director and owner. Jessica had started out as one of many secretaries and had, by hard work and diligence, worked her way up to being the Personal Assistant to Harold Bramford the company founder.

A year after his wife had died she married him and helped him run the company, and as his health began to fail him, assumed more and more responsibility for its running until, following his death, she took over completely. We had met on a regular basis over the years to discuss the company direction and institute a program that focused on staff development and promotion from within rather than go outside to meet our needs.

It was my task to conduct the selection process and I had developed a procedure that was guaranteed to appoint the right person for the position. This revolved around establishing a two part selection criteria and the primary selection was based purely on the CV and how well the applicant addressed these criteria. If all of the mandatory criteria weren't met then that was as far as that person got in the selection process. The desirable criteria were not as set in concrete and we could overlook it if not all of these were met.

The next part of the process was to evaluate how well the CV addressed the criteria. If they were met with clear concise statements that provided quantitative examples of previous experience we would proceed and check with the referees. It was only then that a decision was made whether to interview or not. Because we knew that the applicant was able to do the job that we required, the interview was so that we could ascertain whether that person would fit into our organization. I had found that the best interview technique was to start a conversation and, by careful prompts, steer the conversation to get the answers that I sought. It was a successful procedure and, as a result we had a staff that worked well in teams within the umbrella of our company.

One of the many procedures that I introduced was that HR section made sure that each staff member received a small present on his or her birthday and at Christmas. The sections were encouraged to hold regular lunches, we would provide cover for them for two hours while they either took over a section of the staff dining room or a restaurant was booked for the occasion. It was incumbent on each team not to abuse the privilege and none of them did.

I guess that Jessica and I sort of grew closer as time went on. During Harold's illness and after he died I was the person that she turned to for comfort. She had no family to call on for advice, she couldn't call on his, and because she had focused on her career, she had no close friends. His family didn't take to her at all, especially his brother William (don't you dare call me Will or Bill) Bramford who was a nominal director but who was less interested in the company than the money he received from it in dividends and director's fees. He viewed Jessica as an intruder into his domain and took advantage of every opportunity of damage what little reputation she had with the family. Behind her back he referred to her as the 'slut' and insisted that she had fucked her way into Harold's life and fortune.

It was a Friday evening, about three months after Harold's death and the week that Jessica had formally taken control of the company, that she came into my office. "Michael. Tell me, what do you do to relax and unwind after a trying week at the office?"

"Jessica, you can call me Mike."

"No, I'd better stick to Michael, I don't want the staff to think that we're getting too close."

"To answer your question, I have a motor cycle and I ride up to a cabin I have in the hills."

"I can't quite see you in your leathers riding a Harley."

"Neither can I, I ride a BMW R100, I've had it for years."

"What do you do up at this cabin of yours?"

"I just mooch around, go for walks in the forest, sit on the back porch and watch the animals and birds, some of them are quite tame and come up to me for hand-outs."

"That sounds positively idyllic. I wish I could do something like that, I feel so alone in my big house." She had a new look on her face as if she was jealous of me.

"Would you like to join me?"

"I'd love to, but I can't."

"Why ever not? Surely your social calendar isn't that full that you can't make room for some 'me time'?"

She looked at me for some time, and then her expression changed in a flash. She smiled at me. "All right, I'll do it! What do I do, what do I wear, how will I get there, I can hardly have my driver drive me up there?"

"Tell your driver to go home and that you won't need him until Monday, then you can come home with me and I'll see if I can rustle up some clothes for you, then we're off on our weekend of doing nothing."

She seemed amazed that a person could live in such a small apartment as mine with so few possessions. I explained that I was comfortable in my space and didn't miss not having all the latest gadgets, I had enough of computers at work and had few friends and didn't see the need for any social networking type technology. I grabbed some clothes and shoved them into a backpack and found some clothes for her to wear on the bike, they didn't fit but they would keep her warm until we got there.

"Wow, is this yours?" She stood next to the shiny black BMW her mouth open.

"That my lady, is our steed for the weekend. Climb aboard." I strapped the backpack on the tank and she straddled the pillion seat as I fired it up. It settled into the typical lumpy BMW idle. "Ready? Hold on tight." I kicked it into gear and we were off. When I told her to hold on tight I didn't mean that tight but as we rode I could feel her begin to relax and allow me to breathe more comfortably. I was in no hurry, content to cruise up the winding road and she soon got the hang of leaning into the corners with me. About an hour later we stopped outside my cabin and she got off. I got off and placed it on its stand. "Did you enjoy that?"

"I didn't think that I would, but once I got used to leaning in the corners it was great, now I can understand why you like it."

"The ride is the first part of the relaxation process, come." I led her into the cabin. I switched on the lights and she looked around the single room. Her puzzled look prompted an explanation, I pointed to the ceiling. "Solar panels on the roof and storage batteries, I can leave the lights on all night and not run out of electricity."

"Okay, but there's only one bed and no bathroom, you don't think that I'm going to spend the weekend without having a bath do you?" I noticed that she hadn't actually questioned the sleeping arrangements.

"The bathroom is outside and the bed is yours, I'll sleep on the floor."

"We'll see." I filled the kettle with water and got out some mugs for coffee. "I'm sorry I can't come to percolated coffee, here I rough it with instant. If you look in that cupboard you'll find some long life milk and sugar. Tonight we'll have to make do with nibbles, tomorrow we'll have fresh bread and hopefully some freshly caught fish." Coffee made and cheese and crackers on a table in front of us we settled on the over-stuffed sofa.

"This is nice." Jessica said through a mouthful of cracker. "How long have you had this?"

"My grandfather built it a thousand years ago, longevity runs in the family, and I inherited it from my father about ten years ago. I come up here whenever I can or need to, it's my recharge space when life gets too much."

"You're referring to last year when you had to take time off because of your wife."

"Ex-wife you mean, how did you know about that? I never told anyone about my problems with her."

"You didn't think that you could keep a secret did you, after all it was you that encouraged HR to keep track of employees and their problems so that we could help out where possible. If you hadn't requested time off I would have told you to take it."

I was humbled by her words. I knew that she took an interest in the program that I had introduced, but I was impressed that she should take such an interest, given her other problems with Harold's illness. I sat there staring at the floor thinking that she was a special woman, and so far different from my ex, when I felt her hand on my arm. "Mike, here I can call you Mike and you must call me Jess, I came to your office for a reason tonight. I need your help in dealing with Harold's family."

"In particular one William Bramford, right?" I knew that William had been a thorn in her side ever since she and Harold had married. He made no attempt to hide his contempt for the young woman that he called a 'gold-digging slut' who had married her way into the business. He would oppose every proposal she put before the board despite the fact that every one of them was well planned and would benefit the company.

"I don't know how long I can put up with his continual opposition to me before I explode and tell him exactly what I think of him."

"There's no way that he can be dismissed from the board?"

"No, he is the family representative and he has poisoned them against me to the extent that they will not consider replacing him."

"Okay listen to me, tonight we are going to forget all about William, he doesn't exist, expunge him from your mind and think about other things like what a great time we're going to have together, can I confess something to you?"

"Yes." They way that she was looking at me told me that she knew what I was going to say, even before I said it.

'I have dreamed of this moment for some time, even before Harold died, may I?" She nodded, her eyes misting up. I took her face in my hands and kissed her gently on the lips. What happened next exceeded my wildest dreams, she flung her arms around my neck and kissed me with an unexpected passion.

When we eventually separated she rested her head on my chest and in a barely audible voice she said, "Mike, do you know that if I had gotten to know you before I fell in love with Harold I wouldn't be in the situation I currently find myself. You are a wonderful man that I have come to rely upon for advice and support when I needed it most. Sure we've had our differences at times but at least we've been able to work our way through any problems we've had, just as Harold and I were able to work together. We three, you, Harold and I have the same vision, the same goal for our company and I'm sure that he's up there, looking down on us at this very moment and giving us his blessing for whatever it is that you plan to do to me tonight."

"I don't plan to do anything to you tonight, or any other night for that matter." A look of uncertainty came over her. "What I have planned is not to do to you, but to do with you. Anything that we do tonight and into the future will be a joint venture, not just two individuals moving in similar directions." We approached our love making as mature adults, not rushing into things but taking our time and savoring every moment of it, my cock enjoying the feeling of her pussy caressing him as he moved slowly in and out of her, and when she came, we came, her muscles tightened their grip on him refusing permission for him to leave her body, even after he had subsided.

"I knew that it would be like this." Jessica whispered to me as I caressed her breasts. "I knew that you would be a gentle lover. I don't want to continually compare you with Harold but you make love exactly like he did. I never thought that I would meet another kind and considerate lover like him, but I have. Right at this very moment in my life I am extremely happy. Now can we get some sleep?" I held her to me and kissed her eyes and cheek and mouth until she was asleep.

I woke early and was preparing breakfast for us. I found the ingredients for pancakes and dug some honey and butter from the larder and was setting the table when I heard her stir. She emerged from the sheets like a Botticelli Venus, naked and not hiding it. She walked gracefully and slowly towards me so that I was able to take in the vision before me, and when she reached me her arms wound around my neck and she kissed me. "Good morning my love." I would have replied but it was difficult for me to talk with two tongues in my mouth. "This must be the most wonderful experience of my life, to wake from a love inspired sleep to find that my lover is preparing to feed me, what bliss."

We ate, still naked, and, when we finished, we stacked the dishes in the sink and stood on the back porch letting the sun warm our bodies. After a while the usual animals and birds approached, warily at first and then realizing that Jessica was a part of me, they came closer. I put seed in the bird feeder and soon there were six or seven birds fluttering around and eating when a space became available. I took some feed from a bin on the porch and tossed it on the ground for the animals.

"Have you ever made bread?" I asked as we walked back inside.

"No, I get mine from the supermarket already sliced and in a plastic bag."

"That stuff isn't bread, its blotting paper." I got the flour and dried yeast from the larder and put it in a mixing bowl. I added warm water and proceeded to mix it together to form dough. Tipping it out onto a floured board I began to knead the dough, pushing it away from me with the ball of my hand, folding it back and pushing it, stretching the dough until it had reached the required consistency. I placed the ball of dough back into the bowl, covered it with a cloth and placed it in a warm place to rise. "Come. We have about an hour, I want to show you something, but I think maybe we should put on some clothes."

We must have looked weird because, while my clothes fitted, my clothes didn't fit her, the shorts which were snug on me came down past her knees and were pulled tight at the waist, my tee-shirt hung loosely from her shoulders and, apart from her breasts, didn't touch until it reached her hips. As she slipped into the shirt she looked at me. "I am not going anywhere near a bra until Monday."

"That's good because you don't need one and I want to be able to fondle you whenever I feel like it without being hindered by anything other than the shirt." She came into my arms and turned so that she was facing away from me. My hands slipped under the hem of the shirt and cupped her.

"Enough of this, you had something that you wanted to show me." She stepped out of my arms and we left the cabin. It was only a short walk to a clearing through which gurgled a stream. At the centre of the clearing the stream widened into a large pond of deep, clear, water. I stripped off and dived in, luxuriating in the coolness of the water. Jess followed me in and surfaced next to me. The smile on her face warned me of her intentions. Slipping under the water she swam to me and the sensation of her taking him into her warm mouth was the most amazing thing that I had ever experienced. She held him for almost a minute before having to release him and surface. Her arms came around my neck. "Did you enjoy that?"

I was pushing my finger into her pussy as she clung to me. When the moment was right I put my hands under her arse cheeks and lifted her onto me. Instinctively her legs wrapped themselves around me and we began to make love. As our bodies moved together we drifted down stream until my feet touched the bottom. I waded to the shore and carrying her out of the water, I lowered her to the grass, still moving in and out of her. She sobbed as she came. "Mike, This moment has been a long time coming, too long. For almost a year Harold and I didn't make love, oh he used his finger to bring me to a climax, but it just wasn't the same as him being inside me. Now you are inside me and I feel so contented and so complete that, if I were to die right now I would die happy. Please, will you do this to me as often as you can?"

"We have so much in common that it isn't funny. I have not made love to a woman for nearly three years. My ex and I had sex, but it was hard to have any enthusiasm for the act knowing that only a few hours earlier another guy's cock had been inside her cunt. She so demeaned the act that I don't feel bad about using the term cunt to describe what on you is a pussy; your contribution to our physical joining together." We scrambled into our clothes and headed back to the cabin.

The bread dough had risen up and was lifting the covering cloth. I tipped it back out onto the board and punched it down and began kneading it again before putting it back in the bowl to rise once more. While I was waiting for that to happen I put on the kettle and made us both a cup of Moroccan tea. It was a first for Jess and she found it strange that a man would have such esoteric tastes. We sat on the sofa and sipped our tea and discussed our future and how we would proceed from here. The one thing that definitely agreed on was that this relationship was strictly between us, not to be revealed to anyone and at work we would be just good friends. Care would have to be taken around William because we didn't bear thinking about how he would react, especially if he thought that marriage might be in the offing.

There was enough dough for two loaves of bread and the first was still warm when I sliced into it and spread butter on it. There is something about warm bread and butter that would be lost if anything else was added.

After lunch I gathered together some fishing gear and we walked back down to the stream. Jess was a natural at fly fishing and after some basic lessons she was casting almost as well as me. We worked the stream for about half an hour before I got my first strike, it fought hard and when I landed it I saw that it was a good sized rainbow trout. Jess looked at as if the thought of cooking such a fine fish was a sacrilege. I explained that if we didn't do this we would have nothing to eat. Her ideas changed when she hooked her first fish. By the way that it was fighting I would think that it was a bigger fish than mine and so it proved. I had to urge her not to pull too hard or it would break off so she worked it like an expert and was over the moon when she finally had it on dry land. "I think we have enough with these two." I said as I started to pack up my gear.

"No, I want to catch another one." She cast the line across the stream to a place some thirty yards from where she had hooked the last one. She only had to wait a short time, there was a ripple in the water as she retrieved her line and she dropped the fly on the spot. The fish that took the fly leapt out of the water, twisting in the air before splashing back down. It was bigger than her first and she had to work it away from a fallen tree into clear water before she could start her retrieve.

"Okay smarty, that's definitely enough for one day. Tomorrow, if you want, we'll come back and see if we can catch a few more to take back to town with us."

"You're a sore loser, you can't get over the fact that I caught bigger fish than you when you're supposed to be the expert and I'm the amateur." Her voice was almost like a little girl in the schoolyard, you know that one, "I'm better than you are, na, na, nana, na."